7Lee. unfortunately, you have gotten yourself into a large deal it won't be easy to remove yourself from it.
if he has stated that the kids will always be no.1 and won't allow you to correctively instruct them, i would say cut your losses and move on. you've given 5 years of your life and he won't commit???!
that is silly. he is using you for the "ya know" benefits.
several years ago, i had a friend whose older sister had gotten involved in the same kind of issue, the guy was a professional college student. "we'll get married when i graduate..." he would say, but he never graduated. in the meantime, Sister waited for 5-7 years for the event, it never happened. he basically kicked her to the curb.
she had a mental breakdown and i wanted to go choke him out.
i'm sorry to say that most guys will only look out for the Booty Call and once it has served it's purpose, on to the next one. but many guys won't bring home the girl to meet the parents if she has the same habits that he has developed because of his own jealousy/insecurity issues.
a little (or a lot) of maturity is needed to truly be married. love is the frosting and decorations on the cake.:happy: