Don't you just hate breakups!

[chypriss]

Yeah you are right about me not being in love with anyone or ever have been "truely" in love. I really havent found anyone worth my time, I have been in 2 serious relationships since i was 17, and now that I am 23 and have been single for over a year now I still havent found anyone that "sparks" my interest, and i hang out with ALOT of women. I guess im just picky about them and I will only settle with what i want, but until then single/dating life is AWSOME.

 

[tony detroit]

I notice many of my friends, and myself included, we are so used to seeing the women on TV and on the covers of magazines, that the minute we see a girl who's just a bit overweight, or what most people call normal we don't give them a chance. That's a poor way to look at women. I used to do that, I had a really hard time getting my head out of that mindset. I think it is part of our culture that has made us that way. We want it all. I had a lot of growing up to do between age 17-23 relationship wise.
I think everyone is a great person, but as chainsaw mentioned earlier, it is a 2 way street and you both are going to have to solve problems and try to help each other.
And don't say the word NEVER date a guy with kids again(no, I don't have kids). Give them credit for raising them, and I have loads of respect for somebody that can get in a relationship and raise somebody else's kids like their own, that is truly awesome.

 

[sevenley]

Alison,
I think you are very wise to break up now if you feel in your heart that this is not right for you.
I am in a situation very similar to yours only I've been dating this guy for almost 5 years. He has two children living at home and has custody. It's not that i didn't want to create a life with him and his kids. He wants his kids all to himself: nobody else can discipline them or say anything negative about them or disrupt the kids' lives in anyway and the kids will always be #1 in his life. We talked about getting married. I thought it would be best to sell both of our houses and buy a new one together but he didn't want to make his kids move from their house.....the list goes on and on. So, now we just don't talk about a future together.
We truly do love each other but what we are doing is actually just dating exclusively.
Even though I love this guy, I wish that I would have known what he was willing or in my case, not willing to do. I wish that I would have ended our relationship very early on.
I'm not saying at all relationships end up this way. You just don't know until you get into it and get serious.
Good Luck!
Lee

 

[chainsaw5vent]

7Lee. unfortunately, you have gotten yourself into a large deal it won't be easy to remove yourself from it.
if he has stated that the kids will always be no.1 and won't allow you to correctively instruct them, i would say cut your losses and move on. you've given 5 years of your life and he won't commit???! that is silly. he is using you for the "ya know" benefits.
several years ago, i had a friend whose older sister had gotten involved in the same kind of issue, the guy was a professional college student. "we'll get married when i graduate..." he would say, but he never graduated. in the meantime, Sister waited for 5-7 years for the event, it never happened. he basically kicked her to the curb.

she had a mental breakdown and i wanted to go choke him out.

i'm sorry to say that most guys will only look out for the Booty Call and once it has served it's purpose, on to the next one. but many guys won't bring home the girl to meet the parents if she has the same habits that he has developed because of his own jealousy/insecurity issues.

a little (or a lot) of maturity is needed to truly be married. love is the frosting and decorations on the cake.:happy: