Expanding the cult

worrballer

worrballer

Member
Any ideas how to get a wife or girlfriend into the hobby?
It would make my life so much easier if my wife enjoyed the hobby like me instead of roll her eyes every time I mention my tank lol.
 
boucherh

boucherh

New Member
Have her take a little time to actually look at the tank. I can always find something new in my tank. It's really cool how nearly everything is alive. You could have her pick out something to put in the tank that she likes. If there is something in there that is "hers" she might be more apt to look at the tank. If she starts paying attention to it maybe she'll start to notice all the cool things about it!
 
cleve_seahorse

cleve_seahorse

Member
Maybe take her to your lfs and have her pick out a fish of her own? That's compatible to the tank of course...lol...but let her name it and all and maybe she;ll start getting into it....my hubby was the same way...till I set up a saltwater tank just for him....all of the sudden he has "plans" for the tank....and he actually researched what was compatible with the size of the tank ?!?! now he actually tests the water,feeds the cuc and has his fish list set up ....all I gotta say is what a turn around from last year ,when I'd even mention having to go buy more salt he'd roll his eyes....now where stocked up on 300 gallons of it [unmixed]....lol....oh and his fish list is a bannerfish , bta with 2 false perc clowns,a long nose hawkfish , urchin,star and of course cuc in a 75g...I think he's good with that....not to mention my 3 seahorse tanks....ohhhh the electric bill
 
sueandherzoo

sueandherzoo

Active Member
Ask for her "help" or for suggestions/advice on something in the tank, like maybe aquascaping ideas? Let her know you need her "female creativity" to make the tank look better - ask her to go with you to pick out new live rock, new base rock, a plant, a coral, etc. Once she gets into "decorating" the tank she'll be spending time really looking at it and will be hooked!
Sue
 
sangria

sangria

Member
I think if you express concern about her lack of interest she may come around a bit and at least try to be interested. She may go to the LFS with you.
Otherwise she may never be into fish and you will just have to accept it.
 
yearofthenick

yearofthenick

Active Member
My wife was exactly the same. She hated that I would spend money. I just asked her this very moment what made her change her mind....
She said it was all about the colors. We had a reef tank and she loved how beautiful everything was. She appreciated that such beautiful things could come from nature and they were right here in our tank. What also made her enjoy it was that it was always changing. A coral looking noticably bigger or a zoanthid that expands onto some of our live rock.
Not to mention that all of the fish have some level of personality. To give an example, our clown fish is extremely protective of the anemone. If ANY fish comes near the anemone, the clown nips them away.
My wife hates my mantis though haha
 
yearofthenick

yearofthenick

Active Member
Originally Posted by sangria
http:///forum/post/2833145
I think if you express concern about her lack of interest she may come around a bit and at least try to be interested. She may go to the LFS with you.
Otherwise she may never be into fish and you will just have to accept it.

YES that is really what made my wife change her mind. When we went to the LFS, we had a budget, we were going to spend $100 on 2 or 3 good corals. $319 later, my wife was happy with HER 5 corals, 3 fish, and MY one coral.
I think if you took her to the LFS and spent a little money on corals that SHE would want, it will really help get the ball rolling. Especially if she's a shopper. It's the penny-pincher wives you need to watch out for... my buddy got into swfish (a small tank, mind you) and his wife almost didn't want it because the power bill might go up. Now THAT's just wrong. C'mon unless you've got 3x250mh's and a couple of mag18's, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
 
sickboy

sickboy

Active Member
Like people said above, get her involved somehow. I started with asking questions about what worked better, etc. Then I started dragging her into the lfs's and she started to see things she liked. Then she started buying things, or convincing me to buy things for it. She also named everything in "girly" names that I put up with. And just recently she got her own tank for the things I won't let her have, like Domino Damsels.
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
lay on a couch with that OD'ed look on your face with arm hanging to the ground... bottle of random pi-lls (vitamins? aspirin?) spilled on the table... "Honey why are you doing this?" "You don't currr 'bout muh tanks n stuff... you don't love me either..."
I kid I kid.
 
mboswell1982

mboswell1982

Active Member
well, i did it right with mine, got the gf interested, and am then doing 2 tanks, one for her, and one for me, and she's getting to totally design her tank, from the aquascaping, the fish, the corals if she wants any, everything lol. i just get the joy of taking care of both tanks LOL
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/2832780
I've tried, doesn't work. Most are sentenced to get

Try not talking about it with her.
You cannot convince someone to take up a specific hobby. Either it will "call" to her (like it did you) or it won't.
I got that rolleye look from the hubby when I talked fish.
I stopped and after 2 years, his interest is perking. But he's more into the dry goods side of the hobby, so now I give him the
.
 
b sharkey

b sharkey

New Member
When my boyfriend wanted a fish tank I said I didn't care and was really not into it at all. He would talk and tlak and talk about "the tank". He never called it his tank he always called it our daughters tank. Ha ha funny she had 2 nemos and that's all she cared about. I would roll my eyes at him and ignore him most of the time. Then one day he drug me to the store and like 200 dollar later we left. Ever since then I have loved it. I got to see all the differnt things i could put into the tank. The colors, the fish, the corals, everything, it was great. Now he rolls his eyes at me. Take her to the fish section and let her pick out her own fish. She'll come around.
 
mboswell1982

mboswell1982

Active Member
Originally Posted by Culp
http:///forum/post/2839997
same here! my girl friend doesn't like my fish at all because i "spend to much with them."
seriously guys, try taking them to the store, with me, it was showing my gf all the fish online at different online stores, and she was hooked
and when i told her she could design her own tank, and put whatever she wanted in it, she was doubly hooked
 
reefforbrains

reefforbrains

Active Member
Hide jewelry in the tank and ask about your aquascaping.
They will instantly become keen on your tanks layout and every tiny change you make.
https://forums.saltwaterfish.com/t/270366/how-to-make-wife-love-your-reef-tank
 
gmann1139

gmann1139

Active Member
1. Don't do the maintenance when she's around. Don't let her realize how much time you spend on the tanks. Especially don't ask her to help, unless you absolutely needs the second pair of hands.
2. Take her with on all livestock shopping trips. LFS may be the gulag for fish, but they usually do a great job showing off the kinetic art part of the hobby.
3. Don't force it. Let her come up at her own speed. Show her the fun stuff, like a shrimp cleaning a fish or a clownfish displaying hosting behavior.
 
unleashed

unleashed

Active Member
do what my hubby did when i got started in this hobby he came home one day with a 125 gal tank for me brand new and said here you go Hunny this is yours
.. I never even said I wanted a tank. then we headed to LFS to decide what I wanted to put in it ,, then the sw kicker came to play. but hunny he says to me:this is really a beautiful tank it would look really nice with salt water fish in it.. don't you think you'd like that? here lets check to see what you like.. that was just over 8 yrs ago.... its my hobby not his.. he deals with equipment and hardware maintenance I do the fish choosing and care for them..just remember if you double the people in the hobby
your gonna triple the cost.. cus I'm sorry we aren't cheep lol. I would set it up first get it cycled then take her to LFS and hand her money to buy what she wants. tell her the tank is for her. this will make it hers and she may enjoy that much better than making her do all the work getting it ready.. but do try to get her input on what she would do if it were hers when setting it up..
 
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