Friend's sister is Anorexic-what can I do??

devildog01

Member
Originally Posted by jdragunas
Well, most hospitals won't take anorexic girls until they've reached a certain weight... so i'm not sure what you can do. Once you let the parents know, it's really in their hands. She needs to attend therapy sessions with a psychiatrist, at least. Just be there for them. Be there for Erica, and explain to her that it's not her fault, that this was really probably unaviodable.
It's possible that she had a nervous breakdown once she got into college. So much pressure to continue her good grades, and she couldn't handle the pressure anymore. That explains her habit of skipping classes.
She's not going to be the friendliest person once she starts seeing the shrink either... they're taking her control over her life away... Imagine this. You're absolutely healthy, and all of a sudden, your eating habits are being monitored, then your bathroom habits, then your bathroom breaks are being timed, then you're not allowed to use the bathroom by yourself, then you're forced to eat over 3000 calories a day. Now imagine you're mentally unstable and all of that is happening, and they're making you eat, when that's the one thing you don't want to do... It's all so difficult for them. what they really need during this time is a friend, or someone to talk to. And not even about the anorexia, just about stuff...
Yeah, I don't know what her weight is, and I really don't want to know. She has always been small, so I dont even want to know. I totally think she had a nervous breakdown because she is stressed with college-that is the only logical reason I can think of. I understand she is not going to be the most friendly person, which will be strange because it is VERY likely I will see her sometime this month. She comes home for the weekends, or at least DID, I dont think she will now. I tried to tell Erica it wasn't her fault, but she is blaming herself and it is hurting me just knowing that she thinks that. I am REALLY trying to stay really strong about this for Erica, I don't wanna have a mental breakdown and freak in front of anyone, but she's like a sister to me, both Erica and Christine...I know 'em both really well. I really hope her parents do something, in fact, last weekend, before anyone knew she was anorexic (besides Christine, her parents found out later from the doctor) and they took her out to dinner at a chinese restaurant, and she cut each grain of rice into half to make it look like she had eaten a lot more than she had. Then, when they got home, Erica found Christine puking in the toilet, and she confronted her parents and they had suspisions too I guess, and they got a call the next day.
 

devildog01

Member
Originally Posted by SoO High
it wasnt suppost to be funnie...........:) and how come its alway the white kids that have this problem u dont see any black asian mexican or other race in school that has this problem
Sorry, it seemed that way. It isn't just white people that have this problem, many people do. It isn't just white people. Maybe you just don't pay as much attention to other races as you do to whites. Not implying your racist, but it is just how society works sometimes, it isnt fair-but somestimes people just do that.
 
J

jdragunas

Guest
well i hope the best for you. Be strong!!! i'm here if you need to talk.
 

aquapro_1

Member
Originally Posted by SoO High
it wasnt suppost to be funnie...........:) and how come its alway the white kids that have this problem u dont see any black asian mexican or other race in school that has this problem
Not to brag, but I am part Asian. I had an issue with it. I stopped eating. Was a chunky kid in school. Went to high school & got teased. I am 5'9 and was 160# and a size 14/16. In 3 months I was 125#, my body refuses to get smaller..I tried & tried to no success. Then I was a size zero. I worked out, just did not eat. My calves became big. Made me more angry! I ate every so days. Couldn't take more than 1 bite of anything.
Now I have a 2nd kid & old. I am huge & back to my old routine, if you want to call it that. Just 1 meal. Working out helps, but then your body turns on ya. My husband tells me he loves me & wants me around to watch the kids get married & have kids. He'll always love me at any size. Just wants me healthy!! It helps, but I am forbidden scales in the house.
I boxed up all my small clothes. They set me off, too. I am about a size 10/12. I want to be a size 2 again!~

But I am old & wise enough to do it slowly.
 

devildog01

Member
Originally Posted by jdragunas
well i hope the best for you. Be strong!!! i'm here if you need to talk.
Thanks...I am trying. I may have to email you...we'll see how bad tomorrow goes, if its anything like today, you'll be hearing from me a lot. Thanks everyone!!
 

salty tank

Member
thats why i dont wanna go to college. Ill party my ass out of college within a few months. Plus i have no study habits at all so i wouldnt study for any tests most likely and do worse than i am now in high school.
 

salty tank

Member
Hey soo high is right. Some AID patients are given medical marijuana to get them to start eating. Plus its a natural stress, pain and headache releiver
 

devildog01

Member
Originally Posted by Farmboy
Try prayer.
YYYYYEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!! BTW, her father is a pastor at a local lutheran church.
 

devildog01

Member
Originally Posted by salty tank
Hey soo high is right. Some AID patients are given medical marijuana to get them to start eating. Plus its a natural stress, pain and headache releiver
What happens when they get addicted?
 
J

jdragunas

Guest
pot is not addictive.. it has nothing in it that your body will become dependant on... people who claim to be addicted to marijuana, may feel the need to smoke it all of the time, but that's because it's a pain releiver and it gives a good high. These people are "mentally" addicted, not physically. however, in her condition, she will most likely become "mentally" addicted to pot, because it'll make her forget everything she's worried about when she's high... that's definately something i'd suggest not to do. The only time pot is an answer is for people that are terminally ill (ie cancer, aids, etc...)

And medical marijuana would not be a gateway to worse drugs... the only reason that pot is considered a gateway drug, is because the people who sell it also sell the more

[hr]
drugs, and try to get you to buy that when you're getting the pot.
If she were to get it through another source, not some druggie, there's really no chance she'll be lead to more

[hr]
drugs...
Sorry, i did a 30-page research paper on medical marijuana in college...
 

snailheave

Active Member
Originally Posted by jdragunas
Sorry, i did a 30-page research paper on medical marijuana in college...

i am sorry. if i recall correctly, a judge made you write that to avoid jail time.
pwnd
 

farmboy

Active Member
Armchair Phychiatry is not my hobby and it's definitely NOT my passion. However, It seems people with addiction be it mental or physical, are lacking something else in their lives. (My faith tells me this is GOD for a lot of people) Substituting one addiction for another doesn't seem like an answer. --- This is where the pros come in. They do help people face the REAL problem. THen they can get started with the healing.
 

devildog01

Member
Well, update...Erica is doing alright today. And, she is keeping me posted on Christine. BTW, guess what she ate the other day? She did this only because she was home for a day....a jolly rancher. Yeah, thats nutritious and filling.
I am really worried about her.
 

salty tank

Member
Pot is not as addicting as you learned in school. You could get addicted but you have to smoke liek 10 times a day
 

danedodger

Member
Well armchair psychiatry IS a passion and hobby of mine because I've been mentally ill most of my life
I was "blessed" to start having symptoms of depression and disabling anxiety disorders at the unusually young age of about 5 yrs old.
Anorexia is a mental disorder involving control issues. And it's not at all unusual for these "perfect" kids to suddenly have some kind of meltdown in college. Whoever put it there, parents, school, herself...she was under a ton of pressure all her life! "Gotta be perfect! Gotta get straight As! Gotta do better! I'm not good enough!" I bet that even getting a B was a very traumatic, scary thing for her, right?
Professional help is her only hope. If her parents won't get it for her maybe you and her sister can talk her into it? Do a search on the web for "anorexia". There's literally a TON of groups out there who deal with this all the time who could guide you better than any of us on what to do, say, etc.
For you and her sister, just please realize that this is NOT either of your faults and this may be a situation where you have to distance yourself somewhat. It's not your body, it's not your choice. I know that's almost impossible to hear and absolutely impossible to understand, that it sounds so cruel and callous, but it's true too. My brother and sister tried all our lives to stop my parents from drinking but it never worked and never would've. They'd dump the booze down the drain and my parents would just go get more. They'd cry and reason and beg and my parents would say "yes, yes, we know" but go right on with it. It's because no one can make anyone else do anything!! Even if you KNOW 100% that they are wrong and hurting themselves, no matter how well reasoned your arguements or inarguable your logic, they may very well choose not to hear you.
The ONLY thing I know for SURE you can do is to not let it harm YOU (if you let it wear you out, run you ragged, and get you "freaking out" what kind of help can you be for either of them? By being a little bit selfish sometimes we save enough of ourselves to give to others when they really need it) by distancing yourself from it as best you can then being there to support them. Listen, try to nudge them in the right direction, but truly, fully accept that this is really out of your hands for the most part. She has to do the work to get well and she has to want to do the work or it'll never happen.
And prayers certainly never hurt!!!! I'll be saying one for all of you and if you need anything feel free to email me too.
 
J

jdragunas

Guest
couldn't have said it better...
I've been manic depressive for about 3 years now, and my ENTIRE family suffers from it... the hubby is like :scared: everytime i jump into the depressed mood, just out of nowhere... people with mental disorders need some sort of help, and no offense, adam, but you're not the one she wants help from, or the one who can give it to her. Like i said, she can't be admitted to the hospital until she's a certain weight, so you just kinda have to sit and wait. Since she's in college now, she's the one who needs to want to go to the shrink, because no one can make her... Sorry we can't be of more help...
 
Top