i am sick to my stomach

deejeff442

Active Member
i have been taking piano lessons for about a year now.my teacher is around my age 42.i consider her a good friend at this point.after a lesson we usually talk a while.she is a great person she lives with her husband,mom and 14 yr old daughter.
today i had my usual lesson.i showed up and the student before me usually runs a bit late so i sit in the living room for 5-10 minutes.so i got there today sat in the living room. yana my teacher(she is from russia) let the girl out the front door then says ready jeff.so i get up and usually start with a joke of some sort.last week she hurt her foot and i asked how it was.she looked depressed.she wasnt crying but her eyes were glassed over.i sat on the piano bench and looked at her i knew something was wrong.i asked? she said her husband died saturday.omg a chill went right through me.i have talked to eric a bunch of time before and after lessons. i helped him re brick his mailbox one time when somebody ran it over.now i asked.what happened? this is where is gets bad.she said he killed himself.i felt like i turned white as a ghost.saturday morning she had 3 piano lessons to give.9:30 am she was talking to him to go out on a boat after her lessons.he said ok.he was talking on the phone with his daughter from another marriage.so her first student showed up.at 10.at around 10:20 she heard two loud bangs.she dont know what guns sound like.she said the neighbors blow off fireworks here and there so thought nothing about it.so she went through 3 lessons 2 hours later.she went looking for him to go out on the boat.he left suicide notes and his will in a folder on the bed.took his gun ,went outside during the first lesson and shot himself twice in the chest.i didnt even touch one key on the piano i just sat and talked for over an hour with her.now she has no idea what to do.it is a sad day for me.
 

deejeff442

Active Member
i asked about that ,she said she thought it would keep her mind off of it.she canceled the one after me.i also said some people including me think it is selfish to do what he did.she said her daughter said the same thing.i really hop she gets through this.in his note it said it was finances that brought this.what an ahole.so i am sure she will lose the house and i hope she can survive.i dont know whats in the will but it is sad for her.
 

meowzer

Moderator
Well hopefully he left her some life insurance.....most policies if you have had them long enough will pay..even if suicide is the cause of death....
 

snakeblitz33

Well-Known Member
One of my wifes first graders told her that she saw her mom hang herself yesterday. He was able to go into some pretty vivid detail about how she got a rope and a chair ready and how she twitched... man that kid is going to have some issues growing up.
I'm sorry to hear about your piano teacher's husband. Suicide is not something that you can easily "get over" in a family. I wish I had more to say, but just know that it probably wasn't your fault that he felt like he had to take his life.
 

bubblegurl

Member
What a sad day! I'm sorry she's going through this terrible time. I too believe suicide is selfish, I had 2 friends commit suicide a number of years ago and most of their friends and family were left feeling angry for a long time. My ex attempted 4 years ago and failed, which left him severely brain damaged and in a nursing home until he finally passed away last year. He had no quality of life whatsoever and it left his family heavily burdened with his care. I hope your friend reaches out for support in your community and she finds her strength to move forward. ((((((((hugs))))))) from Canada!
 

flower

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry, everyone has their own way. Maybe trying to keep life as normal as possible helps her somehow. Poor dear, I'm glad you were there for her, and gave her a chance to talk instead of just hurting all alone..
 

deejeff442

Active Member
hopefully if she needs something she will call me.i know she wont keep the house.its like a $500,000 house and she dont know if he has even been paying the bills.
she meets with the family today.i am hoping he left something in his will to help her out.
i will let everyone know how she is doing when i hear something.she said she will still give lessons for now.
 
S

siptang

Guest
Wow... this is crazy Jeff... my heart really goes out to her...
you know normally, I would criticize harshly say this person (husband) was weak, a coward and selfish and I still think so but after my own turmoils, I understand.
Going through depression myself over death of my son, I have contemplated on numerous occasions of ending my life thinking that it's not worth it.
At one time, I even put aside my 20k for my funeral expenses and 10k for 1/2 yr of mortgage, tax and other expenses that's how serious I was...
I'm a very mentally strong person and it was taxing me down that much, I can't imagine for those who are bit more weaker in mind...
I never went through with it because all I can think was looking at my wife crying (can you pull the trigger if all you saw from the outcome was Dee's constant tears? that's where the selfishness kicks in), images of her unable to recover, maybe try to follow me and my parents and my family and friends..
Sure, monetary problems are tough. Sure, losing your home is devastating but you still have your health and love of your life.
You can built your empire again and that's he was weak. In college, I was in debt close to 30k from the MOB
and I was able to make it out of it alive.
Leaving his wife to deal with all the mess that he created that's where it shows his cowardice... There's is just no excuse to do that as a man. (sorry ladies, I'm old fashioned. I believe that men are supposed to take care of women not that you guys are incapable of doing so.)
Despite all this, I still do understand what he was probably thinking... it's only a fine line to cross when you are depressed... it really does consume you but it's sad because he should have pulled it together for the reasons I stated earlier. I didn't know the guy but if I did, I'm sure I could have pulled more things for him to continue his life.
My prayers and thoughts are with Yana and her daughter today...
I really do hope that he left some kind of insurance or anything of sort for her..
 
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