i dont know what to do....advice?

[armywife1314]

ok let me see where to start. ok as you all know my husband is deployed and we have a 2 year old. when i was pregnant with him i was in and out of the hospital from 5 to 20 weeks. i couldnt eat and what liquids i tried i couldnt hold down. i had to have my husband there to sign consent forms because they had me passed out quite a lot. i have no one here, we moved here in april and well everyone is a stranger and could be dangerous to just let someone watch my son. my dad lives in montana and has to have a nurse care for him 24/7 because of his disease. my mom works and goes to school leaves early and gets home late. so i cant go to them and they cant come to me. i am 9 weeks now and on day 3 of not being able to eat and not holding down liquids. i have been in the er 2 times in the past 2 weeks they gave me a nausea medicine that is for cancer patients and extreme nausea. they also put me on a medicine that slows down the motility of my stomach so it doesnt get upset as often. i could not even hold down a pedialyte popsicle. so i dont know what to do. i have no one to watch our son so i can be admitted and get the care i need, im all alone. my husband went to his chaplain in iraq and told him what was going on and the chaplain said well if she loses the baby because she cant eat its gods will. i was surprised my husband kept his cool, you just dont say that to anyone, ever! any advice?

 

[m0nk]

Wow, I'm sorry to read about your troubles, and especially what the chaplain said... it's pretty shocking. Doesn't the base where you live have any support channels for aide or anything? I'd be surprised if there aren't some other military spouses nearby that could help.

If there isn't a support group or family care programs through the military or your health care system, then there should be. Wish I knew of something that could help more, and I hope you're able to get the help you need.

 

[reefreak29]

my sister in law was so sick with all three babies she had to walk around with an iv 24/7. talk to the er and ask if thats an option. you wont lose the baby from not eating the baby will suck all the nutriens from your body. as far as the 2 year old as hard as it will be you just have to do it theres really no other choice but try to explain to him whats going on if possible. I really feel for you I know its not easy but you will get through it. be strong

 

[armywife1314]

well about my 2 year old he knows mommy doesnt feel well and he's really sweet about it. but im prone to hypoglycemia (where i have low blood sugar) and if i dont eat i pass out like i did saturday. and most of the wives here should be on a soap opera they are so dramatic and well just mean. and the nice ones have 4+ kids or arent reliable. i have the frg leader but she works. so weekends only she can help. other than that theres really not much here thats beneficial.

 

[reefreak29]

they have to have something at the hospital iv with sugar? something

 

[jennythebugg]

when you moved onto the base they should have given you a welcome packet with things like a map of the base and telephone list of buidings and people there they have counseling services and chaplains on that list you should call them- they will know who to call for this kind of thing- being sick and pregnant and alone sux , i will be praying for you...jenny

 

[steve24]

wow, sorry to hear all this. wish i knew how to help. does the hospital want to admit you ? do they have ANY type of a daycare type thing ? i would think there would be someone on base that could help. i HOPE you find someone and everything goes (gets) well ...

 

[spiderwoman]

Ugh, I feel for you. When I was pregnant with our twins I had zero support network around me and my husband was on the road most part of the week. I was put on moderate bed rest at 26 weeks and full bed rest at 29. It sucks not having a support network.
I thought that when you are in the military and live within the military base, there is a great support network of people? I know a few twin mom's that have husbands in the military and they had great help from the other moms and the community.
You need to ask your doctor for a prescription for either Phenegran or Zofran. Especially Zofran will help you with the morning sickness. It's expensive if your insurance doesn't cover it, but it's better than spending time at the ER. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[stdreb27]

If he is deployed for a while, why not go home? My cousin who met her husband in the army would go back to mommas house while he was deployed on hardship. She has 4 kids too, and would go through her pregnancies while he was away. And just ignore that chaplin, just because they are chaplin doesn't mean they know god.

 

[armywife1314]

jenny- they do have some but not for if/when im admitted to the hospital, i would have to rely on a stranger to watch my son.
the dr gave me another medicine to try and if it doesnt work then she said 9pm go to the er.
spider woman-im on zofran, they've already doubled my dosage as well as being on reglan. they have given me phenegrin suppositories to try (which so far has made me worse, and made me worse with my first one too)
stdreb- i cant go home its just like being here, not to mention i would have to vacate on post housing and a move is something i couldnt handle especially alone. not too mention no one is at home back home my mom is gone from 6am to 11pm m-f. and her and my dad are going through a nasty divorce they are both trying to drag me in the middle of.

 

[spiderwoman]

Could you get a part time mother's helper or would the military insurance pay for a part time nurse if your condition is so bad that you have to go to the ER?

 

[stdreb27]

Originally Posted by armywife1314
http:///forum/post/2668671
stdreb- i cant go home its just like being here, not to mention i would have to vacate on post housing and a move is something i couldnt handle especially alone. not too mention no one is at home back home my mom is gone from 6am to 11pm m-f. and her and my dad are going through a nasty divorce they are both trying to drag me in the middle of.
yeah, you don't want to be in the middle of that with a kid and a child on the way.

 

[armywife1314]

Originally Posted by SpiderWoman
http:///forum/post/2668687
Could you get a part time mother's helper or would the military insurance pay for a part time nurse if your condition is so bad that you have to go to the ER?
they wont. im getting worse so tonight im going back to the er and my neighbor that is 8 months pregnant and has an autistic 5 year old is going to let him sleep there. the er cant even give me an iv unless someone is watching my son. if they admit me then red cross automatically sends a red cross message to my husband in iraq then its up to his 1st sgt and his CO if they will let him be here to be able to sign consent forms and take care of our son until im well enough to do it on my own again. the military does have free healthcare but honestly its not very good, your just a number.

 

[stdreb27]

I don't doubt you, but I find it really bizar that there isn't the support in place for you on base. My cousin (who is now a single mom) ended up moving back to a military community where she used to live because the support there was good. And she has 4 kids. And she is no longer active. btw her husband is fine he just liked "midnight training" a little to much if you get my drift.

 

[scotts]

I feel for you. I wish there was something that I could do. You know don't discount a local teenager who babysits. (Sent you a pm anyway about this, I have NO idea if it will help) You might want to check with a church and see if there is someone available. With kids out of school there are plenty that are looking for some extra $$. Of course get references and talk to their parents if you go this route. Maybe you could contact a school and see if they know of any kids.
Or if you have to go in to the hospital and maybe take your kid in with you. They might be able to find you some emergency help if they are looking at his cute little cafe.

 

[rabbit_72]

My heart breaks for you and I wish I could help watch your little one for you. I also have a 2 year old (and 3 other kids). I know what it is like to be alone with no support system, but I was lucky in that my pregnancies were average. If I could be there to help, I would.
Now.... as for help where you are..... can your husband request to come home? I don't know how all this works, but surely there are some loop holes he can use. My sister-in-law did that when she was in the Army National Guard. Her reasons for being sent home do not even compare to your problems. There has to be a way to get your hubby home. If you can on your end, see about researching on how to get him home on some medical emergency leave, if there is one. Someone just have to have the answers for you.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[laurie01]

I'm sorry to hear about all your troubles. Another place besides churches you could try is calling your local United Way office. Our office has an Information & Referral program where we maintain a database of non-profit & not-for-profit organizations that offer services to county residents, for a bunch of different reasons (including child care). Perhps one of the charities where you are would be able to help (especially on an emergency basis).

 

[alyssia]

I know how you feel-try to hang in there. I had severe morning sickness w/all of my pregnancies, luckily w/the first three it only lasted 4 months. With my last one I had no support network except for my husband that was working 60+ hours a week. I was tried on all the anti nausea meds-Reglan,compazine,phenergan,Tigan, Zofran-nothing worked, even the Zofran which is supposed to be the strongest stuff their is.I had to have a nurse come to my house everyday to give me an IV. When I went in the hospital two months ago to have my baby I weighed 22 pounds less than I did when I got pregnant. I also broke a rib at 6 months from vomiting so much. Luckily everything turned out okay for my baby, he even had the highest birth weight out of all my children. Your baby will get the nutrients it needs from you.

 

[nacl freak]

Contact some local church's. There are retired people who might be able to help you out. Talk with the pastors. There may even be a widow or senior adult who could move in for a while to help you through this tough time.You may have to depend on the help of strangers, but rest in God, trust Him to send the perfect solution.

 

[el guapo]

have your husband file for a family hardship leave .