i dont know what to do....advice?

[armywife1314]

thanks all! the reason its being so hard for him to be approved to get home is because red cross wont send a message until im admitted into the hospital, catch with that i have to have someone that will be able to watch my 2 year old for a few days because they wont give me an iv or get started unless someone has him. when i was pregnant with him i ended up losing about 15 pounds from when i started i didnt break a rib but i bruised many muscles vomiting i was in and out of herman hospital almost ever week until 20 weeks. another reason things are so stressed is the hospital here, which is primary care and all are very short on staff for instance the ob office has 7 drs and should have at the very least 15. just think how you would feel if you need to go to the hospital but have no one to watch your toddler, except strangers, for days maybe more. knowing what type of people are here i dont trust that. i have to go to the er tonight, drs orders since its been since friday that i could hold anything (liquid or solid) down. its up to my husbands commanders if they let him come home to help or not, one says yes the other doesnt know, mostly because last month one of the soldiers lied and said his wife was very sick and was almost sent home until they checked up on it and it was all a lie. so they told him red cross has to send a message. not to even mention on the last deployment a soldier wife and son were in a car wreck, the wife died and the son was on life support and they didnt want to send him home.

 

[hydrodamoper]

Have you checked out this site?
http://www.hood.army.mil/docs/Resources20070420.pdf
Your first call should be to head of the Family Support Group.
I find it hard to believe that your husband's Family Support Group will not help. If they (the FRG reps) are not giving you the help you need then go to the next higher level. (Company/Battalion/Brigade....)
If you do not feel comfortable allowing "a stranger" watching your child then that is a personal decision (I agree with it BTW), but you come off as you are getting no help at all. Help is very easy to come by on a military post, you just need to dig a little.

 

[aw2x3]

Originally Posted by Hydrodamoper
http:///forum/post/2669268
Have you checked out this site?
http://www.hood.army.mil/docs/Resources20070420.pdf
Your first call should be to head of the Family Support Group.
I find it hard to believe that your husband's Family Support Group will not help. If they (the FRG reps) are not giving you the help you need then go to the next higher level. (Company/Battalion/Brigade....)
If you do not feel comfortable allowing "a stranger" watching your child then that is a personal decision (I agree with it BTW), but you come off as you are getting no help at all. Help is very easy to come by on a military post, you just need to dig a little.
I fully agree. I was active duty for a long time and have never once heard of anything like this.
When I read this post, earlier today, I called a friend who's husband is stationed at Fort Hood. She's back in IL, while her husband is deployed, but in the 15 minutes that I talked to her, she told me time after time after time, how wonderful the Family Support Group is there. Times when she's needed a last minute baby sitter, just so she could run errands and 15 army wives volunteered.
And, I don't know much you've looked into the Red Cross thing, but you DO NOT have to be admitted into the hospital, before they can send a message to your husband.
You need to either gather your medical records or have your doctor call your support group office and inform them of what's going on. If things do not proceed, as you'd like, call your husbands commanding officer. Not ever one of them will be deployed with him. If need be, calling the base commander.

 

[tizzo]

When you need something of this sort, call your JAG!
If there is a solution to be found they can find it and they can do it so quickly it's nothing short of impressive.

Medical Claims BLDG 1001 287-5398
or
Legal Assistance Division BLGD 1001 287-3199

 

[carrieabn]

Check with the Family Assistance Center on post, they should be able to give you help. I know as a Family Assistance Specialist myself that I have many many resources available to help our Families. All the issues that come into my FAC is put in a computer system that goes straight to NGB so I assume that the active duty FACs have a similar system.
Call Military One Source and tell them your situtation and see if they can help 1-800-342-9647
You can call the -- and ask for a message to be sent, give them all of your and your husband's info and your doctor's number. They will contact the dr to confirm and then send the message. Depending on where your husband is it should take an hour or so for him to get the message. I know commanders can be a pain when it comes to sending guys home, hopefully you can get him home soon.

 

[spiderwoman]

I completely agree with the advice and information above. It's completely up to you if you decide to accept the help offered. Yes your son may be with strangers, but what is the alternative? What is more important, the welfare of your unborn child and you, or the possibility of your son being taken care of capable stranger? If that was me, I would not think twice. Kids are very resiliant and he can cope a few moments with strangers. You need to give him more credit than that. Yes you are his mom, but he will be just fine.
You have to decide what is your priority No1.

 

[stdreb27]

or ask crazy fish people on swf.com, their is someone who always knows something.

The detail of help is amazing.

 

[scotts]

I 100% agree with Spidey. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of your son. You know like they tell you on a plane if the oxygen masks come down to put yours on first, then put the mask on your kids.
Anyway you are probably in the hospital right now so you can read this when you get out. Hope you are doing better.

 

[armywife1314]

the dr was an a$$ and i couldnt hold anything down and now from the meds they think i may have early signs of liver damage. the reason i dont trust people here on post is because of the s.ex offenders and others like them, my son freaks out if someone he doesnt know comes near him so of course he would freak out. im not allowed to drive for the minimum of the next 9 weeks, because i passed out saturday. then once in the hospital from monday - thursday i saw the dr 1 time. went through red cross and chain of command along with rear detachment and they denied my husband emergency medical leave to get things straight here while i was in the hospital.

 

[armywife1314]

another thing to add the frg and frsa depend on the unit, ours is terrible! the entire unit, when my husband deployed we didnt get to say good-bye. if that tells you how his unit is.

 

[shroomie2u]

wow u are an amazing woman to take all this on.
ok first of all, i had alot of morning sickness when i had my son and i know it sounds simple but have u tried vitamin B12? it was cheap and it helped me out so at least i could eat bland food. second of all, maybe u should try getting ur son in a daycare. alot of the daycare centers and church summer programs will hand out scholerships. another thing i thought of was to contact the local head start program near you and tell them your situation, alot of my babysitter were working at the head start near us and they would come to the house and help out for 2-3 bucks an hour. (I have had a lot of bad luck in my life and i to spent 6 months on bed rest while i was prego). they would watch my son after i had surgery (15 in all) and just hang out outside or feed him lunch while i napped or had therapy.
maybe one day i will post my situation on here, but for right now it is kinda hard too. i feel for u, being pregnant is hard enough, but for now, just have faith and laugh a lil. u can get through this!
as far as that pastor goes....it is better left unsaid!
take care of urself and i hope this helps!

 

[hydrodamoper]

Originally Posted by armywife1314
http:///forum/post/2674633
the reason i dont trust people here on post is because of the s.ex offenders and others like them, my son freaks out if someone he doesnt know comes near him so of course he would freak out.
What post do you live on....

. Is there a prison near the post. I spent 21 years in the Army (7 different posts) and have never seen or heard such a thing. I also spent 3 years as a Army Recruiter and unless things have changed being a s.e.x. offender is a permanent disqualification.
Originally Posted by armywife1314
http:///forum/post/2674633
went through red cross and chain of command along with rear detachment and they denied my husband emergency medical leave to get things straight here while i was in the hospital.
Your Family Support Group is only as good or bad as YOU make it....If you feel that they (FRG reps) are not meeting your needs, go up the Chain of Concern. Is your husband's "whole" unit deployed, or just his company? EVERYBODY in the military answers to someone.
Please dont think I am down playing your situation, I just know that the FRGs do work. My wife was a FRG leader for a few years and she made it work.

 

[hydrodamoper]

Originally Posted by armywife1314
http:///forum/post/2674640
another thing to add the frg and frsa depend on the unit, ours is terrible! the entire unit, when my husband deployed we didnt get to say good-bye. if that tells you how his unit is.
Never heard of this either....

We were always given a chance to spend the last night at home before a major deployment....
I feel sad for your husband's unit if that is the way they do business. How much longer does he have in that unit?

 

[spiderwoman]

I've never heard of a unit like that, wow is all I can say. I guess we've exhausted our help here.

 

[carrieabn]

I searched for a FAC at Ft Hood and didn't find one but found this link for IR&O, and it sounds like a FAC http://hoodmwr.com/acs/iro.html If you haven't check with them try it, its much different than an FRG.
I would keep going up the chain of command of the rear det and having my husband do the same.
You may want to check and see how the -- message was worded, the wording can mean the difference in him getting the leave or not. The Dr has to make it sound as serious as it is, not just say "she is sick."
I love my job helping other military families and I wish there was something more I could do to help you out other than saying try this or that.

 

[spiderwoman]

Originally Posted by armywife1314
http:///forum/post/2674633
the dr was an a$$ and i couldnt hold anything down and now from the meds they think i may have early signs of liver damage. the reason i dont trust people here on post is because of the s.ex offenders and others like them, my son freaks out if someone he doesnt know comes near him so of course he would freak out. im not allowed to drive for the minimum of the next 9 weeks, because i passed out saturday. then once in the hospital from monday - thursday i saw the dr 1 time. went through red cross and chain of command along with rear detachment and they denied my husband emergency medical leave to get things straight here while i was in the hospital.
I think you are blowing this out of proportion a bit. I highly doubt that s.ex offenders would be allowed at the post. Has your son been around any other adults than you and your husband? It sounds like he is being sheltered to great extend. My twins are about the same age as your son and no way would they act like that unless I had made them think that strangers are dangerous. I'm sorry, something just doesn't add up here

 

[armywife1314]

there are s.ex offenders on post that are soldiers as well, there are some in my husbands unit. my son is not sheltered too much, just the normal amount, ive taught him not to talk to strangers and that is a, no the best way to raise a child IMO. i have made complaints against the frg but the frg leader is the unit commanders wife so you can imagine how far the complaint goes.

 

[armywife1314]

Originally Posted by Hydrodamoper
http:///forum/post/2674720
Never heard of this either....

We were always given a chance to spend the last night at home before a major deployment....
I feel sad for your husband's unit if that is the way they do business. How much longer does he have in that unit?
hes going to transfer to a different unit in october.

 

[aw2x3]

I'm not sure if I'm the only one that thinks this, but I don't think I am.
This just sounds to me like a cry for attention. Please, please, please...do not get me wrong. I understand your position and your heartache, right now, with your husband being gone. But, you've had numerous people here tell you what you need to do and you refuse to do it, while still crying out for help.
People have went out of their way to give you advice, to help you out and one of your excuses is "se.x offenders"? Gimme a break. The United States military does not allow registered se.x offenders to join their ranks. No if's, and's or buts about it.
I was active duty military for almost 10 years. 90% of that was spent Special Forces. I know what it's like to be deployed, not see your family, have family problems and be on the other side of the world, not being able to do anything about it, etc.
Never, in my wildest dreams, have I ever heard of things you're talking about. Husbands, not being able to see their families, before deployments (which is completely untrue). Even us Spec Ops guys were allowed to see our families before a scheduled deployment. I've been to at least 50 US military bases, world wide and have never heard of family support groups not helping each other.
I took the liberty of calling a few friends, in Naval Intellegnce. I had them ask around until they found someone that knew the Commanding Officer of Fort Hood.
So, today, I spoke to Major General Broadwater, who is the Deputy C.O. of Fort Hood. He was a very pleasant man and just as I suspected he would be, he was irritated at the stories I was telling him about your situation. He was nice enough to hang up with me, called the FSG and a few other places and even though I didn't have your name, none of them have/had heard of your situation. He assured me that they deal with pregnant ARMY wives, there on base, on a daily basis and they've not had any complaints.
I thanked the General and before getting off the phone, he gave me these numbers for you to try.
Child Youth Services Childcare & Daycare 287-9833
Emergency Childcare 287-CARE
Families in Crisis Hotline 634-8309 or 526-6111
ACS Family Assistance Center 288-7570 or 866-836-2751
Chaplain Family Life Training Center 288-1757
Deployment Stress Care Line 535-4497
I sincerely hope one, if not all of those numbers will be of service to you.
Please keep us informed.

 

[sepulatian]

My sister in law was sent to bed rest with her twins at five months. My brother was in the Iraq at the time (gulf war). He was given leave to be home with her because of it. The babies were not in danger, and she wasn't sick. It is just hard to carry two babies, Spidey can back that up. I hope that you can get the support that you need.
My other brother just came home from Iraq (this war) he was allowed to come home for four days for Christmas. He is Army, the other is AF. Both had plenty of time to say goodbye. They knew they were leaving MONTHS before they left, for extra training, then shipped out. My brother, that just came home, had internet access the entire time and has kept up with us. He couldn't go on every day, but we heard from him at least every week.
I too have a son. He was never scared of other people........ever. Babies/toddlers are not scared of people unless there is a reason to be. It isn't as though they look at someone and feel in danger unless they have been in a situation before. Your son is two. He wouldn't know what "bad people" are yet. Why is he scared to go with people that he doesn't know? I introduced my son to child care at 18 months. I went to college, he went to the daycare there. I sat with him the first day. He mingled very well.