i need some prayers, positive energy, happy thought or anything...

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siptang

Guest
Thank you so much guys..
Yes, as hard for me to believe, yesterday has passed somehow.. it just broke my heart to have my wife cry during her lunch and when she came back at home..
It was bit rough and although it was hard, I took her out to eat with her and just overloaded her with sweet carbs and surrounded ourselves with close friends and in the end, we were able to get through.
Thank you so much again guys, I really appreciate all the love, support and definitely all of the prayers.
Richard.
 
S

siptang

Guest
No, I haven't seen a doctor. I'm strongly considering it though...
 
slice

slice

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTLDreef http:///t/392135/i-need-some-prayers-positive-energy-happy-thought-or-anything/20#post_3480849
Given what you and your wife have been through, I strongly recommend at least talking with a dr/therapist.
Hang in there Richard. You have a beautiful wife, good friends and a lovely fish tank. :)
+1
Please try to keep things in perspective. TRY to think with your mind as well as your heart, seek the perspective of others.
God does not make mistakes. There is a reason for this even if we cannot understand it. Let go and let God.
You and your wife have a wonderful life ahead of you if you are willing to accept it.
You owe it to your loss to fulfill your potential, allow it to empower you, otherwise the loss is in vain.
 
kiefers

kiefers

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slice http:///t/392135/i-need-some-prayers-positive-energy-happy-thought-or-anything/20#post_3480851
+1
Please try to keep things in perspective. TRY to think with your mind as well as your heart, seek the perspective of others.
God does not make mistakes. There is a reason for this even if we cannot understand it. Let go and let God.
You and your wife have a wonderful life ahead of you if you are willing to accept it.
You owe it to your loss to fulfill your potential, allow it to empower you, otherwise the loss is in vain.
WOW maaan,..... that was like............ so deep bru! *passing the joint*.
all in the post previous is true.
 
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siptang

Guest
BTL - we have gone to counseling session but at the time, I couldn't afford to not to work any more (funeral costs and expenses) and to make sure that my wife would get the rest and break that she requires (I gave her a year and couple of months), I went back into work force bluntly and honestly it did me more harm then good. Now that I'm settled, I may look into therapy again. I'm even considering hypnotherapy... will see how that goes..
Slice - you are absolutely right.. I'm trying to change my mindset so that things will be in more positive perspective and outlooks but it's work in progress.
Keith - you sir, always find ways to make me chuckle, please say hello to your wife and Paidy for me. :)
Thanks again guys for all your support and love. I really can't express my gratitude to you guys.
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
I completely understand.
Are there any sort of support groups for loss in your area? After I lost a baby a 27 weeks, I sought out a support group for mothers who had miscarried or had a still birth and it was much better than any other therapy that I had tried. Once woman is now one of my closest friends. I would look around, or even ask your doctor if they know of one, they're usually in every area, and there's usually more than one group.
Everyone is different and you have to just find what works for you. For me, it was that group AND accupuncture/massage. The accupuncture/massage was really more just a pampering session for me, but it made me feel better physically, which in turn made me feel better mentally. It just put my whole body in a better place.
I hope you can find comfort soon Richard. You're a great guy, you deserve it.
 
S

siptang

Guest
I have been going to grief sharing program for a while and boy that changed my perspective about life... yea, I think it has helped tremendously and knowing that fact that they know what your going through made everything more sincere and accepting.
I'm thinking about getting enrolled into that program if my work hours permit me to...
accupuncture/massage sounds fantastic actually. hmm... I wonder if my insurance will cover that haha.
Thank you so much once again. I really really can't say it enough.
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/392135/i-need-some-prayers-positive-energy-happy-thought-or-anything/20#post_3480983
accupuncture/massage sounds fantastic actually. hmm... I wonder if my insurance will cover that haha.
Most will if your doctor words it right. Sometimes a little fib needs to be told, like you have a pulled muscle, etc, depending on the insurance. Even if they don't, if you have the cash every now and then, splurge on yourself. It's worth every penny in my book. Some places offer cheaper rates for lunch break massages, etc. I've paid as little as $20 for an hour.
 
kiefers

kiefers

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/392135/i-need-some-prayers-positive-energy-happy-thought-or-anything/20#post_3480959
BTL - we have gone to counseling session but at the time, I couldn't afford to not to work any more (funeral costs and expenses) and to make sure that my wife would get the rest and break that she requires (I gave her a year and couple of months), I went back into work force bluntly and honestly it did me more harm then good. Now that I'm settled, I may look into therapy again. I'm even considering hypnotherapy... will see how that goes..
Slice - you are absolutely right.. I'm trying to change my mindset so that things will be in more positive perspective and outlooks but it's work in progress.
Keith - you sir, always find ways to make me chuckle, please say hello to your wife and Paidy for me. :)
Thanks again guys for all your support and love. I really can't express my gratitude to you guys.
Hey Sip, this is may sound shallow and it is not intended to sound this way but changing your mindset is a choice you have to make. Not just once but every minute of every hour of ever day.
I am not in anyway saying to you that I understand how you feel because I don't.
Keep fighting the good fight, trust in the Lord above to walk with you and your lovely wife and carry your burdens. Allow him to take control. As for you, keep making that choice everyday.
Quick question, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and smiled at yourself?
 
kiefers

kiefers

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/392135/i-need-some-prayers-positive-energy-happy-thought-or-anything/20#post_3480959
BTL - we have gone to counseling session but at the time, I couldn't afford to not to work any more (funeral costs and expenses) and to make sure that my wife would get the rest and break that she requires (I gave her a year and couple of months), I went back into work force bluntly and honestly it did me more harm then good. Now that I'm settled, I may look into therapy again. I'm even considering hypnotherapy... will see how that goes..
Slice - you are absolutely right.. I'm trying to change my mindset so that things will be in more positive perspective and outlooks but it's work in progress.
Keith - you sir, always find ways to make me chuckle, please say hello to your wife and Paidy for me. :)
Thanks again guys for all your support and love. I really can't express my gratitude to you guys.
duplicate post......
 
S

siptang

Guest
Heya Keith,I know it's a choice that I have to make but it's extremely difficult at times. It was my son's birthday last week and I was just drawn into sorrow, depression and over whelming guilt. What could haves, would haves, how I could of done something different or how much grown he would be right now... remembering welcoming him to this world, cutting the cord and holding him for the first time... see him smile for the first time, see him take his first step, hearing him speak his first words... all the way down to his last day with me and then signing his death certificates... holding him in the funeral service.. his unnatural cold, lifeless body.. it was almost too much.. I really wanted to die that day. I wept for hours. It's even making me bit emotional as I type this in fact.
It's not what I chose to do but it happens when things get triggered. I thought I was optimistic and very strong minded person but nothing will prepare you for something like this..
Honestly, I'm trying so hard to accept it and let God steer me but it's hard to accept it but I'm trying very hard every day to move a step forward at least for my wife's sake... Makes me doubt my faith in whole general in fact... but I'm pulling myself together somehow.. yea, it has been a rough week for me..
Any how, thank you for being a great friend and hearing all of my rambles... honestly I know it must be bothersome to you guys that I bring so much emotional baggage here.

BTL - Will plead with my doctor to make things work for me lol.
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
it is not bothersome to me at all.
SWF is therapy. We all support each other through the good and bad with our tanks and life
 
kiefers

kiefers

Active Member
I'm not bothered by your baggage either.
SWF is thereapy? Well hell, wheres the couch? I'm ready!
 
jaodissa

jaodissa

Member
I wish I could give you and your wife a big hug. I've been there and it hurts. At times it hurt so much life didn't seem worth it. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your friends. Seems like you have a lot of great friends right here. :)
 
S

siptang

Guest
thanks BTL and Keith.
Jaodissa - I'm sorry for your loss as well.. if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your child? and yes, we have a very tight knit friends here. :)
 
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