kids and tanks

jinky3dper

jinky3dper

Member
what, do i have to give everybody plans for the vertical rope-around-the-ankle trap?
i'm just joking. i'm sure that if i ever have kids, i would be as cautious/concerned. :)
 
slick

slick

Active Member
Ok I respect the fact that you have a Masters Degree in Teaching and Leadership. But the fact is that I have seen little swats on the bottom work. The thing is you have to catch them in the act. As you said they associate what they are doing at the time they are punished as being the cause. So as long as you catch them in the act then they learn not to do it again. I'm not saying that swating kids on the bottom is the right thing to do. All I'm saying is if used correctly I believe it can be an effective tool in raisng a child. Do I always swat the child when she is bad? NO. In fact I rarely do it.
Do you have childred of your own? And do you always follow these books on raising children to a tee? I'm not going to flame you I'm just trying to figure out a few things.
As far as reading a book by Thomas W. Phelan - Ph.D. Just because someone has a Ph.D dosen't mean they are an expert. All it means is they have taken so many required classes to get a piece of paper that says they have a degree in a certian field. I'm not saying that doesn't make them very informed in that field. I'm saying it dosen't mean they know everything in thier field. This is a very debated topic and there are many ways to look at it. But as far as I'm concerened if you are carefull with the way you use it then it can be effective.
 
overanalyzer

overanalyzer

Active Member

Originally posted by slick
Do you have childred of your own? And do you always follow these books on raising children to a tee? I'm not going to flame you I'm just trying to figure out a few things.

Uhm - yeah - check my avatar (my Youngest - just turned 2) and I also have a 4 1/2 year old.
DO I follow the books to a T - pretty close. That 1-2-3 Magic book is amazing. Our 4 1/2 year old has some early obsesive compulsive disorder stuff going on and the 1-2-3 combined with some other research really has helped a ton.
Sure a swat on the bottom works if you catch them immediately - in the act of - no space ... the older they get the more lag time but for a little kid of 2 or 3 or even 4 it will come as a total shock and they will have issues with why they got hit.
Just because someone has a Ph.D dosen't mean they are an expert. All it means is they have taken so many required classes to get a piece of paper that says they have a degree in a certian field. I'm not saying that doesn't make them very informed in that field. I'm saying it dosen't mean they know everything in thier field.
True - but it usually means they know quite a bit. I don't have the guy's book handy but it is based on something like 15 or 30 years worth of research. I'll verify it later - Besides - I don't care if the guy's name was Mr. Dipstick - if he has a logical method of discipline that works continually without any need for physical punishment and is not damaging to the child's psyche then I am all for it .... especially if he has done years of research to get to that point.
This is a very debated topic and there are many ways to look at it. But as far as I'm concerened if you are carefull with the way you use it then it can be effective.
We can agree to disagree on that point - because many people do use spanking as a form of punishment - personally I don't and I don't condone it.
Between working with children and raising my own I have spent the better part of 16 years dealing with child development (over half my life). Not once have I ever observed corporal punishment in a positive light!
Have I ever been tempted to use it - of course! I just think my years working in the mental hospital have made me think of spanking in a very negative life.
It is kinda like Broomer's sig. line: Your Tank ~ Your Choice Everyone has to decide what is best for themselves and what is best for their children.....
:cool:
 
sammystingray

sammystingray

Active Member
You can't really comment on long term effectiveness of your parenting when they aren't even grown yet. Those books assume every kid has the same mentality, and the authors truly believe they have come to fully understand the human mind......arrogant and annoying in my opinion. A research environment? Do you actually think kids act the same when being watched, and if not watched, do you really think the parents shared 100% correct information as to call it a factual science? Shrinks are balony IMO, and anyone whos daddy and mommy have money can get a degree while possessing an IQ less than 100.:) Just the fact they think either a kid, or parent, will act the same when being researched, or even trying an experiment with, or without the childs knowledge, shows the lack of intelligence, and the fact they spew it out like the gospel truth as if all kids are destined to follow the same paths in any given environment is quite simple minded. The only reason that spanking is not PC anymore, is because they couldn't find the right place to draw the line, and therefore made all physical punishment into abuse.:rolleyes:
 
overanalyzer

overanalyzer

Active Member
You are right - very touchy!!
A lot of research is done where they leave cameras in the house for long periods of time - but in a research environment I'd agree most people aren't 100% truthfull
Plus my opinion of shrinks ranks right around my opinion of aptasia
The one thing I disagree with is: The only reason that spanking is not PC anymore, is because they couldn't find the right place to draw the line, and therefore made all physical punishment into abuse.
I agree with the drawing the line portion - I hade a case of a 4 1/2 year old girl whose parents broke both her hip bones while just giving her a small spanking.
I believe that as a people we have progressed and we have strategies where corporal punishment is no longer needed ..... of course that is rather idealistic and assuming that all parents are ready and willing to move away from corporal punishment
Lastly: "BTW this is a touchy subject, and although I love debating, I hope I didn't offend anyone or start anything."
I prefer an intelligent debate so it is hard to offend me .... key word being intelligent - name calling flaming bashing style threads usually get unsubscribed from ....
 
overanalyzer

overanalyzer

Active Member

Originally posted by sammystingray
Shrinks are balony IMO, and anyone whos daddy and mommy have money can get a degree while possessing an IQ less than 100.:)
forgot to add - it was amazing how many kids were magically "cured" when their insurance allotments ran out .....
I could go on and on about this point ......
 
jinky3dper

jinky3dper

Member
People: this is ridiculous and wasting my bandwidth to the site.
Next you'll be talking about fish psychology and how to train a trigger to be less aggressive by positive reinforcment.
Let's get real...back to tanks and fish. i shouldn't have even had to type this.
 
overanalyzer

overanalyzer

Active Member
There is a little button that says UNSUBSCRIBE. :)
I figure we are still talking about 1/2 of what the post is entitled so we aren't too far off!!
Fish Psychology - Ick-the-psike-ology interesting .... jinky3dper
I am feeling pent up hostilitiies ... I think you may be transferring this hostilitiy to your trigger fish .... lets talk about your childhood - do you often feel a compulsion to swim in salt vater und eat crustaceans?? You may be a trigger fish
hahahaha
 
robb

robb

Member
I have to keep having kids every couple of years because they get too big to fit in my tanks for cleaning. You guys buy cleaner crews but I just grow mine.:D
Stick a snorkle on that kid and throw'em in there with a scrubber in his hand.;)
 
slick

slick

Active Member
What are you going to do when your kids get smacked in school by another child? Your children could possibly be more affected by this than by a swat from thier mom or dad. I truely believe that the majority of children are punished by some sort of physical punishment. I'm not saying your way is wrong but have you thought about some of the negative things that could happen from being raised this way?
 
slick

slick

Active Member
I forget to add. You worked at a mental hospital which means you saw the worst case scenario. Just because a child gets swated dosen't mean it will have problems.
 
radioactive

radioactive

Member
I agree with Sammy .... shrinks are full of crap , and throwing degrees around means nothing . You can know a lot about subjects without having to pay for the paperwork " degree " . I have seen many people that have degrees and cannot function in normal life ...
To each his or her own on spanking or ways to keep the children under control so they grow up to be a good person .
maybe we are " overanalyzing " this subject ....
 
timo

timo

Member
Thanks for the replies! My neighbor will be happy to see this forum at work!
Any more suggestions, Keep 'em coming.:p
 
acez28

acez28

Member
i got spanked when i was a child....my child will get spanked also. It worked for me and it will work for her.
 
dindi

dindi

Member
I have grand kids and they respect the tank because I told them to tap on or be very loud will make them die( the fish), so they sit and watch, it's a good thing. Not only that cleaning the tank means cleaning your bedroom plus vacuuming the whole house if they touch the tank:D
 
broncofish

broncofish

Active Member

Originally posted by slick
What are you going to do when your kids get smacked in school by another child?
Where do you think that other child learned that it was OK to hit? I've seen parents who do give the little swat on the butt, but I mean so little that it is really just a shock, not pain. I've also seen the wrong end of a belt way to many times when I was a kid, and I spent a good deal of my youth beating the crap out of other kids, acting out, and generaly being really angry. When I turned 19 I dated this hot a$$ "shrink" intern. She asked me what I was so angry about...next thing you know I'm in full time counseling. I don't act out, I'm knocking out my BA, and I have an awesome wife, and a great little boy that I will never, ever lay a hand on. Abuse is a cycle and I enjoyed braking it. Also not to flame on anybody, but most people who discredit degrees don't have one, so I find it hard for anybody to say"well I've seen this, and I've seen that" when odds are you have only seen it from the lower end because your working for the person holding the degree.
 
jinky3dper

jinky3dper

Member

Originally posted by overanalyzer
There is a little button that says UNSUBSCRIBE. :)
I figure we are still talking about 1/2 of what the post is entitled so we aren't too far off!!
Fish Psychology - Ick-the-psike-ology interesting .... jinky3dper
I am feeling pent up hostilitiies ... I think you may be transferring this hostilitiy to your trigger fish .... lets talk about your childhood - do you often feel a compulsion to swim in salt vater und eat crustaceans?? You may be a trigger fish
hahahaha
?
um, yeah. :rolleyes:
 
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