Man code?

crimzy

crimzy

Active Member
OK, feeling pretty good after an interesting couple months. Anyway, I have a man code question but this is more serious than the usual drivel. Not asking about man cards or trimming eyebrows. Just want opinions about the real, unspoken man-code.
Here is the question...
I run into a girl about a month ago. She happens to be the opposing attorney on a case I'm working on. I guess we went to school together years ago but I didn't remember. Anyway, I immediately notice that she has some attributes that are very appealing to any red-blooded American man.
So a couple days later I am talking to my best friend, another attorney. I grew up with this guy, known him for over 20 years, etc. I tell him, as a partial joke, that I want to hook up with an opposing attorney. After I tell him her name, he tells me that he knows her well and talks to her. Specifically, he took her as a date to a mutual friend's wedding about 3 years ago and had recently just taken her to lunch the previous week.
As background, my buddy is a perennial bachelor... talks to a lot of girls. However because of the man-code, I tell him that I won't do anything because he wants to go out with this girl. He takes her out the following weekend, made out with her and that was it. Hasn't talked to her in weeks.
Her and I have talked sporadically, sometimes about our case and sometimes not. My buddy and I will be friends forever regardless. And I'm not looking for a relationship but just want to take this girl out and think we'd have fun together.
Question is this... at what point, if my friend is sitting on his a$$ and not doing anything, can I take her out? If ever?
Thoughts...
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/3103832
Question is this... at what point, if my friend is sitting on his a$$ and not doing anything, can I take her out? If ever?
Thoughts...
Here... is a question for your buddy.
But I'm a whole hearted supporter of chemistry and compatibility. Either you have it or you don't. If your friend is not having it, then you try...
If he thinks he has feelings for her then find another girl, but from what you described, it wouldn't seem so...
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member
Official man law reads: If a man has had no less than 2 dates with someone else (same person or different) since they last date with the woman in question, Said individual relinquishes all territorial rights on said female amongst friends....
Or a period of no less than 3 weeks has passed since said man has ASKED the female in question out.
 
crimzy

crimzy

Active Member
Originally Posted by Darthtang AW
http:///forum/post/3103972
Official man law reads: If a man has had no less than 2 dates with someone else (same person or different) since they last date with the woman in question, Said individual relinquishes all territorial rights on said female amongst friends....
Or a period of no less than 3 weeks has passed since said man has ASKED the female in question out.
Question... do late night booty calls count as dates, for these purposes?
 
crimzy

crimzy

Active Member
Originally Posted by Cranberry
http:///forum/post/3103988
Ask him.
I do... I tell him all the time that I'm ready to take her from him. Everytime I do he sort of grumbles. I can tell it would bug him but not sure that matters that much. Either way, I wouldn't do anything behind his back... would tell him what I'm doing regardless.
 
roadie996

roadie996

Member
ask your friend what his deal is, tell him you're going to ask her out. If he gets upset, tell him to $h!t or get off the pot! If he's cool with it, you're good to go!
 
S

smartorl

Guest
Wow, just wow. I started reading and was waiting for the punchline because you are married, and there wasn't one, I nosed around and found the other thread. I can't say I am surprised about your split but I am sorry. There was too much "me" time for a relationship in my opinion and sadly, when relationships hit that point, trouble always follows. I think most people who go out and have the "me" time, do so to escape from the reality of their life, to escape being, husband, wife, mom, caretaker, etc, going out they can be free and without burdens. Funny thing is, most of the flings that become relationships tank quickly because there are realities to life, it's not all playtime. Soon the flingee, becomes that partner figure that the person was escaping. Ugly cycle, sucks big time because innocent people get hurt!
Over the years I have gotten the impression that you are a jokester and even when you talk about telling your friend you are going to "steal her away", it's easy for your friend to not take you seriously. It sounds like you have a genuine interest in this chica and really should be direct with your friend. Good luck by the way. You may be opinionated at times (haha) but your genuine caring does show through and you deserve to finally have that reciprocated!
 
bigarn

bigarn

Active Member
So what's all the drama about? If you want to date her do it! Your friend is obviously out for another notch on his belt and nothing more.
Just don't get to interested yet. Too early for that.
 
windlasher

windlasher

Member
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/3103832
OK, feeling pretty good after an interesting couple months. Anyway, I have a man code question but this is more serious than the usual drivel. Not asking about man cards or trimming eyebrows. Just want opinions about the real, unspoken man-code.
Here is the question...
I run into a girl about a month ago. She happens to be the opposing attorney on a case I'm working on. I guess we went to school together years ago but I didn't remember. Anyway, I immediately notice that she has some attributes that are very appealing to any red-blooded American man.
So a couple days later I am talking to my best friend, another attorney. I grew up with this guy, known him for over 20 years, etc. I tell him, as a partial joke, that I want to hook up with an opposing attorney. After I tell him her name, he tells me that he knows her well and talks to her. Specifically, he took her as a date to a mutual friend's wedding about 3 years ago and had recently just taken her to lunch the previous week.
As background, my buddy is a perennial bachelor... talks to a lot of girls. However because of the man-code, I tell him that I won't do anything because he wants to go out with this girl. He takes her out the following weekend, made out with her and that was it. Hasn't talked to her in weeks.
Her and I have talked sporadically, sometimes about our case and sometimes not. My buddy and I will be friends forever regardless. And I'm not looking for a relationship but just want to take this girl out and think we'd have fun together.
Question is this... at what point, if my friend is sitting on his a$$ and not doing anything, can I take her out? If ever?
Thoughts...

GO FOR IT.
 
miaheatlvr

miaheatlvr

Active Member
Very simple #1 before anything Bro's before _oe's..
#2 Tell him listen "I would really try to talk to this girl and if he's not going to persue it you would like a crack at her and if it will bother him".. if he has other chicks it shouldn't bother him but he must back off 100% and give you a fair shake at it. NO C Blocking.. If he is your good buddy he will know that he cannot have his cake and eat it too and will know to back off.. Unless he is a complete selfish

[hr]
.
 
mantisman51

mantisman51

Active Member
If they're not engaged or married, what would it matter? Look, we haven't been able to own women for 70 years or so (just kidding ladies). She can make up her own mind. If she wants to date you or any other guy, it's none of your friends business. She is not his property and is probably grown up enough to make up her mind on her own.
 
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