Mom wants me to get rid of tank b.c she thinks its causing mold

legend

legend

Member
I couldnt be anymore pi$$ed right now. I dont want to be selfish but this tank is like my only happiness. I love this reef tank and it would break my heart taking it down and no having any fish tank.
My mom wants me to get rid of it because she thinks its causing mold in the house. I tell her there is no noticable mold anywhere, but she got this stupid mold test from home depot that states another wise.
I'm i being unreasonable trying to fight not getting rid of this tank? Ever since my dad died which was in may she has totally become anal about everything. I know mold is a serious problem but still....
It is her house....im a student so im broke, i cant even move out. I graduate in two years.
What should i do...this tank is like my life. And i just upgraded all the tank stuff so im pissed....new 150w VHO hood and just set up the sump/fuge i built....
If this tank goes down....i will probably not going to have another one until i own my own house. I cant wait 10 years for this...i feel like i cant live without my reef. Maybe not even then....i'll probably have a wife thatll have the same problem my mom is having right now. In that case i'd get rid of my wife...haha
What do i do....get rid of this now and make my "mother happy" or get rid of it after i graduate college. Which will be in two years...
Am i being a baby? I went nuts today over this.....this is like my only passion.
 
yellowtail

yellowtail

Active Member
is there ANY way to convince here that it isnt causing the mold?is ther someone local that you know thta might know about what is causing this or go to your lfs and bring your mom and ask them.hope everything works out ok,and sorry to hear about your dad.
i have a 40 breeder and live in NY too.
 
yellowtail

yellowtail

Active Member

Originally posted by fishking
the evarporated water from the tank is probably causing it, get a dehumidifier
good idea but be careful for evaporation purposes because dehumidifiers suck up airbore water. also tell your mom what you said about the tank being your only passion.
 
legend

legend

Member
she said mold is going to give her emphysema....i feel like im killing her if i keep this tank running.
I mean this tank is a sweet tank....awesome xenia, yumas, huge hammer...two perfect true perculas clowns. GSP's coving all over the tank and unique pink leather, cool zoos
I just feel bad about everything.. i dont want to hurt her, shes been through a lot. Its just something i really really like and im the type of person that doesnt really like much.
Its just that we have all been through so much losing my dad and all. Its just going to kill me to lose my tank too now.
 
viet-tin

viet-tin

Active Member
Maybe you can start a small 10gal nano? Shouldnt get to much evap from a small tank and you can still have a sweet tank.
 
sergeant

sergeant

Member
Legent
Im sorry to hear about you dad, please understand that your mom is going to be this way for a while until she recovers emotionaly from her loss. I mean no wrong by saying this because we all love our tanks and do anything to keep them but is not easy to lose a love one, specially the head of the family. Help her out any way you can, Im sure later on you can have all the tanks you want.
 
legend

legend

Member
Thanks for everyones sympathy about my father....he passed away do to cancer. He was 56 and a big part of my life.
so basically back to the fish..... i should be a man and stop this hobby for the time being to ease my moms mind?
Also i just bought a yorkie puppy on friday....this puppy is still cool , but its still not as cool as my tank.
 
shawnts106

shawnts106

Member
no EMP... is caused by Smoking not mold... and tell her to get a dehumitifier and get over it b/c u are not getting rid of something that makes you happy...... ask her what makes her happy and see how she would feel if it was riped away!
that should do it!
hope everything works out!
 
legend

legend

Member
I really let her have it...i felt bad afterwards but i mean damn..what the hell. Thats like asking someone to give up there kid. Ive have fishtanks for the past 9 years....the question of mold has never been brought up.
She also acts like by me keeping the tank running its like im killing her. This is crazy....
 
blemmy_guy

blemmy_guy

Active Member
Man your in a tuff spot! Ive been a nurse for 15 yrs now, and loosing someone to cancer is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, it can do strange things to you, maybe your mom is just still hurting and this is just her way of letting you know, not intentionallly, but thats the way it sounds to me. wish i could be more help. good luck Todd
 
C

caryn_ia

Guest
Maybe finding out what type of molds the test looks for. THen find out what causes those type of molds. If all else fails, tell her something else that's gross and can't be helped. Did you ever what that episode of 'Myth Busters' where they tested different toothbrushes, including one in a different room from the bathroom. They all had fecal coliform on them...eww. Sorry about your problem
 
tony detroit

tony detroit

Active Member
Not to be rude, but maybe your Mom is having some "issues" right now and maybe you need to just sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. Maybe she needs some attention. Sorry about your father, I can only imagine how rough that must be, hang in there. I'm running a 180 in a small apartment and don't have any humdity or mold problems.
 
firedad720

firedad720

Member
lost my dad in june, my mom is going through the same type of problems. if she needed me to take done the tank, and i lived in her house( i don't). the tank would have to come down. it would be hard, but it's her house. i would try and talk to her about it, but if she didn't change her mind the tank would go. sorry about your dad, i know how it hurts beleive me!!!!
rick
 
shawna

shawna

Member
really sorry bout your dad and also your mom's severe upset.( and maby some anger?) that is a sad predicament. my lil 90 is still young and I would be so sad with out it. I've actually bien served "the big D papers" over it, as he likes to travel and I like my critters. your mom sounds like she is going through a grieving process right now and as hard as it might be, she I am sure needs your support. my animals are my life so I understand your feelings. I have also suffered severely seconary to a loss so I can see both sides. for what it's worth I'm betting she doesn't want to hurt you, but she might be reaching for anything to fight about right now. just to let some steam off. (or she may really be fearful) my best advise is to see if you guys can't talk to a doctor together and just see that she can validate or disprove the fears she is having. and then she might just gentile on you a bit. do you have a family physician she would trust? could you give him a call? maby see him or her together and see if they might be able to help. if her concern is truely medical that often times an md interjecting might be of assist. post trauma after a loss as great as your spouse is horrific. I have lived loss and worked for years in psych (not implying you or mom are "sick " don't take it that way) but maby your mom might need to think about how to deal with the grief just a little diferently. there is not a truer expression than we hurt the ones we love. she may (not saying is ) but may just be lashing out because the pain of the loss is so great. and you are safe. you won't stop loving her even if you are angry. It takes such a strong person to support a person through this. I'm not sure how old you are but at any age a little family council might be the answer. your doc might just suggest that. be open minded. it might help you to have a stronger bond in the end. (and save your tank) and she might just REALIZE that your emotional needs involve your tank. as your outlet. you are a young man and sometimes hobies are the best thing for a man to get through things to " keep your mind off of things" and keep you a little preoccupied with something other than your own (I'm sure) grief good luck. try not to make the living arangement too tense you still have to be there for a few more years
wow sorry I wrote a book but I had a horse that I fought for when I lost my mom (I was really young 11 and that (counciling) was the only way to get my father to appreciate how much my animals ment to me. might have helped us not to be so severely argumenative towards each other. That horse was my whole world for a long time. (along with my other pets my cat my pack of dobermans etc. it kept me sane (well sort of I did name everything in my tank LOL)
god's speed to you and good luck
shawna
 
shawnts106

shawnts106

Member
yes part of the reason why she has gone commie is because of your father... sounds like your mom is suffering from post tramatic shock of your father dieing... I hope that she will be ok... this is a very serious thing.. she may need to go to a theripist(sp?) this will help her sort her life out... give her some time.. she is just going through a serious time i her life and I hope that everything works out!~
 
legend

legend

Member
Yeah the battle is lost.
My mom is a a b@tch to say overright. I have been such a good son to her for the past 21 years and she repays me like this.....
Whatever though, guess this will make me want to get out on my own even faster now.
Thanks for the help on info everything
Its a great hobby and i def. will hold this against my mom the rest of my life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top