Parent problem

[tangman99]

Originally Posted by hot883
Being in HS and having a roof over your head is so stressful. Wait to you get to the real world. Suck it up and deal with like THE REST OF US DID. Oh, BTW, I meant that in a nice way.
+1000 You said it Barry. You have no idea what stress is yet. I'm sure you get to sleep in a bed everynight and get food on your table without ever stopping to think what it would be like to have to provide it for yourself or your family. All my son told his mom for a year when he was 17 was that when he turned 18 he was moving out. Well, he's been 18 for 6 months now and his butt is still living at home. Once he realized what it took to move out, he changed his mind and his attitude.
Like Barry, I'm not trying to bust your beans. We all had our issues with our parents when we were growing up and most of us can laugh at just how stupid we were for it when we grow up. Chill out and just work it out. You will grown before you know it and then you go out and really grab life by the horns.

 

[alyssia]

Originally Posted by TangMan99
+1000 You said it Barry. You have no idea what stress is yet. I'm sure you get to sleep in a bed everynight and get food on your table without ever stopping to think what it would be like to have to provide it for yourself or your family. All my son told his mom for a year when he was 17 was that when he turned 18 he was moving out. Well, he's been 18 for 6 months now and his butt is still living at home. Once he realized what it took to move out, he changed his mind and his attitude.
Like Barry, I'm not trying to bust your beans. We all had our issues with our parents when we were growing up and most of us can laugh at just how stupid we were for it when we grow up. Chill out and just work it out. You will grown before you know it and then you go out and really grab life by the horns.

 

[ruaround]

ohhh the strife of being a teenager...

high school stress??? wtf is that??? try having to come up with 4k+ to provide for a household... all the while someone is whinning and doesnt understand that what youre being told today will impact you tommorow...
what you need to do is go thank your parents and find out what more you can do to help out... perhaps youll get whatever it is youre looking for...

 

[sepulatian]

Originally Posted by ruaround

ohhh the strife of being a teenager...

high school stress??? wtf is that??? try having to come up with 4k+ to provide for a household... all the while someone is whinning and doesnt understand that what youre being told today will impact you tommorow...
what you need to do is go thank your parents and find out what more you can do to help out... perhaps youll get whatever it is youre looking for...
I am still young...ish!! I know what it is like to be a teenager, but I also know what it is like to be an adult. Without going into detail I had to grow up REAL DAMN QUICK when I had a child two weeks before my 16th birthday! I had to drop out of school at the end of 10th grade to work (I never EVER accepted a dime of social services) When my son was one I went to work full time. I also went to school full time. We swapped who could be home when. I graduated college in '02, own 2 businesses (one of which is a fish store, both are in the same building). You think life is hard now? Trust me, TRUST ME, I have no reaon to lie to you!!!!! It gets harder. You have to be tough and REALY want to do something with your life. Most of my friends have done absolutely nothing with their lives. I used to work 16hr days. They would ask how I could handle that. I am strong, not all are. My friends accepted social services (not that there is anything wrong with that, but I would never accept assistance) I chose to fight my way through life and I am pretty damn proud of who I am today. I hope one day you will find pride in yourself. I have been through some pretty damn rough times and if it were not for my parents I would not be where I am now. I fought with my mother like CRAZY when I was 14-15. She is the first person I turn to now if I need help with anything at all. You are going through a rough time with all of the biological changes right now, trust me, TRUST ME you will want them around very soon!!!!!

 

[lovethesea]

....and I am going to cut to the chase. I have just spent the past few days with a dear friend of mine who just lost her husband. Great father, husband,son, brother, friend etc. His children are 14 and 12.
YES......these are stressful times for you. We all know them, as we have been there. BUT you will look back and realize the truth of these times for you and one day wish they were back...............................

 

[30-xtra high]

Originally Posted by TriGa22
Also He dosent hit me. He just yells at me
lucky, i'd take that and run...

 

[reefkprz]

Trigga, I hope that you and your dad can work through it, no one here has the exact same situation you have, and no one here can see things exactly from your perspective.
alot of us having gone through the teenage years and slowly creeping up on middle age look back and wish we could go back do some chores then have all summer off, and deal with the yelling.
I myself as a youth ran away several times and hitchiked across the united states three times before I ever turned 18. I ran away for the first time at 8 years old. got picked up by the police later that night. There is nothing scarier at 15 then to be wandering around new york or chicago no friends, no food, no one to call, no money, not knowing what to do. I have eaten out of garbage cans and slept in dumpsters to keep warm. ive had frost bite, pneumonia, suffered from malnutrition. gone days without eating. there is a far darker side to the world that you havent seen because you have the security of family. sure you see glimpses in movies of homelessness and hear about it on the news, but thats nothing compared to how gruesome it is in reality. Unless you've been there you wont understand it, in this instance trust me ignorance is Bliss.
dont consider that as an alternative. its scary, dangerous, and your problems are still there when you go back.

 

[myrtle beach]

To all you little punks,
I bet your parents probably tell you, you don't know how good you got it. Well they're right! I teach kids who live in a boys home and have no parents. Or their parents are crackheads who beat them or burned them. They are still good kids, just like a dog that has been beat and flinches when you go to pet him. They need time to see that the world can be a nice place.
Think about that when you want to complain. I remember being your age, you don't think things through, you get emotional about nothing, and you cause your parents a ton of headaches. It's part of growing up. Get used to it, relax, and for the kid who is trying to start the tank, don't give up. It's a fun hobby and help your dad too.
Get done what you need to do first and give yourself plenty of time for your hobby or friends. Don't involve your dad if it frustrates him. You could spend a lot on a tank so watch your budget.

 

[topofsteel]

Originally Posted by hot883
Being in HS and having a roof over your head is so stressful. Wait to you get to the real world. Suck it up and deal with like THE REST OF US DID. Oh, BTW, I meant that in a nice way.
The rest of us didn't, but thanks. I quit school and moved out when I was 16, never looked back, but it's been a struggle. I got a job as a carpenter, eventually went to a community college, never graduated, but learned everything I needed to be successful. Today I manage the drafting department at a structural engineering firm and I am part of the design team of what will be the tallest building in Raleigh, NC, where I live. Granted, I'm an exception, I'm smarter than most people and work harder, in part because I needed to. You have choices, but make them wisely. My 2 cents.

 

[rad]

You old people in here make me sick. Being a teenager dosnt have to be horrible, and its the close mindedness of alot of you that disturbs me. Being 22 I dont like to classify my self as an 'adult' since I still understand (at least think I do) the struggles of growing up. I moved out the day after graduation. My brother moved out the day he turned 18 and enrolled in the army only to later go to Iraq but thats another story. I hated living at home. Being someones bit** sucks. All the pointless rules, my father even had me remodeling the house from 1600 ft to 3800 ft, not by my self of course but there was always plenty for me to do. Just because you have kids dosnt mean you have free labor (if only my father had gotten that memo) or anything along those lines. Dont give your kids a thousand stupid rules or they will just hate you for it. I was always respectful and minded their rules but it killed me the whole time. Finally I was gone, for a long time, I didnt even want their money for college since that meant they would have something to hold over my head. My favorite day was one where I told my father to "eat my a**," then cussed him out some more and drove off. What was he going to do? Ground me? But thats what life is about, its a power struggle to become alpha wolf. I now have a good relationship with my parents but if they ever bring anything along the lines of my upbringing up I get wicked pissed and its not a good conversation. Looking back, if my parents wernt so controlling I would've completed my degree by now and wouldnt be working my ass off as a manager for the little money Im paid. The 'real world' isnt all that bad. Just do a good job at work and your golden. I have all that I need and then some. Just go about it with some common sense and be realistic. If you dont go to college expect to make less. Thats all. If you do go to college go somewhere far away. That-a-way there isnt any 'pop-ins'

 

[reefreak29]

Originally Posted by rad
You old people in here make me sick. Being a teenager dosnt have to be horrible, and its the close mindedness of alot of you that disturbs me. Being 22 I dont like to classify my self as an 'adult' since I still understand (at least think I do) the struggles of growing up. I moved out the day after graduation. My brother moved out the day he turned 18 and enrolled in the army only to later go to Iraq but thats another story. I hated living at home. Being someones bit** sucks. All the pointless rules, my father even had me remodeling the house from 1600 ft to 3800 ft, not by my self of course but there was always plenty for me to do. Just because you have kids dosnt mean you have free labor (if only my father had gotten that memo) or anything along those lines. Dont give your kids a thousand stupid rules or they will just hate you for it. I was always respectful and minded their rules but it killed me the whole time. Finally I was gone, for a long time, I didnt even want their money for college since that meant they would have something to hold over my head. My favorite day was one where I told my father to "eat my a**," then cussed him out some more and drove off. What was he going to do? Ground me? But thats what life is about, its a power struggle to become alpha wolf. I now have a good relationship with my parents but if they ever bring anything along the lines of my upbringing up I get wicked pissed and its not a good conversation. Looking back, if my parents wernt so controlling I would've completed my degree by now and wouldnt be working my ass off as a manager for the little money Im paid. The 'real world' isnt all that bad. Just do a good job at work and your golden. I have all that I need and then some. Just go about it with some common sense and be realistic. If you dont go to college expect to make less. Thats all. If you do go to college go somewhere far away. That-a-way there isnt any 'pop-ins'

talk to me in about 10 years when u have kids

 

[alyssia]

Originally Posted by reefreak29
talk to me in about 10 years when u have kids

My thoughts exactly!

 

[ophiura]

Honestly, do you think it was all easy when we "old people" were young and we just don't remember? Close minded?
I thought it was real hard at the time. But it was relatively hard for all I knew - that was comparing it to being a young kid and seeing the what seemed to be "freedom" looming ahead just out of reach. Its normal, go ahead and vent. You feel confined and grow resentful. I think most kids dream of running away (I did, my mother offered to make sandwiches for me) - join the club.
Its relative, as people mention, to those kids who have NO families at all. Who are terribly abused and neglected.
Its relative to a perfectly normal work day for many - I've got to make the boss happy, make the clients happy, keep my employees happy while providing them with career growth, and watching every word I say to motivate them, but avoid getting sued. I've got to learn a lot of technical things that are not in my background, and turn around and teach it. I've got to take heat, and smile about it, and promise to fix it while finding the solution to prevent it. I've got to deal with the loud water cooler, and lack of decent coffee...do payroll, schedule vacations, work around sick days...etc etc etc. THEN I deal with my aging parents who need help, and see my husband a few hours. Oh, and yes, those chores- got to do them (cooking, cleaning, shopping etc). Then there are the bills which are always there and always growing.
People who work in kids too? Oh my gosh! BLESS YOU!
Honestly....ready to move out because your Dad wants you to get a different aquarium pump?
You may think you've got it bad...
Believe me. Its relative.
I would personally enjoy it while it lasts...from someone on "the other side."

 

[ruaround]

Originally Posted by reefreak29
talk to me in about 10 years when u have kids

my sentiments exactly...

 

[rad]

Thats cool. I cant wait to mock you with smilies when I tell you that I have kids and Im not a controlling jerk to them all the time. Im not saying kids dont need rules, but theres a difference between rules for the good of the child and rules just because you can. ie: My parents wouldnt let me eat anything in the kitchen after I got out of school except from this certain basket that had peanut butter crackers in it. What if I dont want peanut butter crackers? Is it really worth being punished for eating an orange? Seems stupid, yes, but kids need to feel like there at least somewhat a part in making decisions for themselves. We also had no TV because my mom called it hellavision. Then when I got a car there was a tracking device put on it. I did the dishes every night with out a thank you. My little brothers who still live at home dont. Those kids are spoiled. Thats the pointless type of rules Im talking about. (aside from the dishes part, but the fact that it was just expected was rediculous. my mom has two hands. hell, and Id even tell her thank you if she did them.) I wasnt referring to you freak when I said old people but you obviously thought I did by your response. If anything I thought your comment about 'not wanting to be that age again' was dead on and offered some insight to the fact that you can have kids that arent angry all the time and who later grow up to not have substance abuse problems.

 

[hot883]

Originally Posted by rad
You old people in here make me sick. Being a teenager dosnt have to be horrible, and its the close mindedness of alot of you that disturbs me. Being 22 I dont like to classify my self as an 'adult' since I still understand (at least think I do) the struggles of growing up. I moved out the day after graduation. My brother moved out the day he turned 18 and enrolled in the army only to later go to Iraq but thats another story. I hated living at home. Being someones bit** sucks. All the pointless rules, my father even had me remodeling the house from 1600 ft to 3800 ft, not by my self of course but there was always plenty for me to do. Just because you have kids dosnt mean you have free labor (if only my father had gotten that memo) or anything along those lines. Dont give your kids a thousand stupid rules or they will just hate you for it. I was always respectful and minded their rules but it killed me the whole time. Finally I was gone, for a long time, I didnt even want their money for college since that meant they would have something to hold over my head. My favorite day was one where I told my father to "eat my a**," then cussed him out some more and drove off. What was he going to do? Ground me? But thats what life is about, its a power struggle to become alpha wolf. I now have a good relationship with my parents but if they ever bring anything along the lines of my upbringing up I get wicked pissed and its not a good conversation. Looking back, if my parents wernt so controlling I would've completed my degree by now and wouldnt be working my ass off as a manager for the little money Im paid. The 'real world' isnt all that bad. Just do a good job at work and your golden. I have all that I need and then some. Just go about it with some common sense and be realistic. If you dont go to college expect to make less. Thats all. If you do go to college go somewhere far away. That-a-way there isnt any 'pop-ins'
Nice to tell your dad that and then drive away. Wow! You have my vote!!
NOT

 

[tangman99]

I read an article once that sums a lot of this up. The teenagers of the past few years were referred to as the "Barney Kids". When us "old" people were growing up, we were taught to respect our elders and to take turns and to share things and that you had to work for what you wanted in life. The "Barney Kids" were taught that they were "special". The study was around when they grew up and left home, they were lost because they entered the world thinking about how special they were and when the world wasn't there to kiss their azz, they didn't know how to handle it. Obviously this does not apply across the board. I see the teenagers in my neighborhood and most of them have plans and are pretty good kids.
I got along with my son fine while he was growing up. He had rules and he had lots of leeway. He found out very early in life how things worked and he did fine. I never wasted my time with "time out". Time out meant I took time out to tear his butt up if he needed it. Now he probably got 5 good spankings in his 18 years so you can't say he was abused. Now his mom (we've been divorce for 11 years) tried to treat him like he was her buddy and he ran over her like a train every chance he got. Today, we have (and always have had) a great relationship. His mom continues to drive him nuts. Go figure. He has no respect for her.
Now Rad, I don't every flame anyone and I'm not going to start now. I'm a mature adult and it's senseless. Everyones relationship is different. My cousins sounds similar to yours. Their dad was a Baptist Minister and IMHO it doesn't get any worst than that. They never had a TV growing up because he wouldn't allow one in their house and they had chores every day. All five of them one by one moved out on or before they turned 18 for the same reason you did. One lived in his car for a while just to get out. But blaming your parents for you not going to college is silly. Get off your butt and go now! Heck, you are only 22, right? I put myself through college and didn't graduate until I was 27. I worked full time as a correctional officer at a maximum security prison and as a cop while I did it and had a wife and kid. You can be done before I was right now. I could have been happy doing that but I wanted more for myself and today I have lots of toys and always looking for the next one to buy. I'm not saying this to put you on the spot, but just giving you some real life advice (free I might add) from someone whose stomped around about 20 years longer than you have and done a lot of things.
Edit: Funny, I posted this before I read your last post. To eerrie to my cousins. And if my son told me that today, he'd be picking himself up off the floor. Heck, my dad is 64 and I wouldn't dream of telling him that now. I have too much respect for him.

 

[hot883]

Originally Posted by TangMan99
Edit: Funny, I posted this before I read your last post. To eerrie to my cousins. And if my son told me that today, he'd be picking himself up off the floor. Heck, my dad is 64 and I wouldn't dream of telling him that now. I have too much respect for him.

 

[beth]

Tri, I remember hearing the same thing from my son...and he was right. I think the frustrations adults have sometimes gets passed on inadvertently to our kids.
I'd suggest calmly trying to talk to Dad about the situation. I don't know your Dad so I can't say if he is the type that listens. Perhaps you can talk to your mom first about and get her opinion or help.

 

[beth]

I remember hearing the same thing from my son...and he was right. I think the frustrations adults have sometimes gets passed on inadvertently to our kids.
I'd suggest calming trying to talk to Dad about the situation. I don't know your Dad so I can't say if he is the type that listens. Perhaps you can talk to your mom first about and get her opinion or help.