People are really this dumb!

maelv

maelv

Active Member
I was a cop in the military and we got this new guy come in...young guy...obviously did not get out much prior to joining the military. Well we radioed him to stop by the clinic (on a mid shift) to pick up a Fallopian tube. We told him to go to the ambulance entrance, and of course they were willing and gracious in helping us. This was all done over the radio so everyone was listening in to this, including the ambulance guys. They gave him a zip lock bag with a test tube full of a liquid and told him do not break it because it was a dangerous substance.
As he is getting back to the law enforcement desk, and getting out of the car, he dropped it. The young guy came across the radio "S**** it fell and it broke".....nearly in tears....

End of Operation Fallopian....Whew a classic....ha ha ha ha
 
jerthunter

jerthunter

Active Member
I saw this earlier and thought I should vent.
I work in retail part time to feed my saltwater addiction so I deal with the dumb customers every day. So lets see, a good story that comes to mind is a guy and his wife come in and want to return a chainsaw they "got as a gift last Christmas and this was the first time they used it." The chainsaw was pretty beat up but we politely ask them for a reciept, then the wife gets snippy and tell us she used to work here and they don't need a receipt. We try to explain they she does in fact need one. In the end they stormed off, came back and argued with our manager more, stormed off again, called the same manager and argued more again, called the store manager argued with her. Needless to say we looked up the model information for the saw and it was more then six years old.
As far as stupid people I've worked with. We had this one guy in my last job.... We were replacing deck screws and he ran out so someone told him sarcastically to go make some. We find him later trying to start up the lathe and make screws out of zinc rods. Another time he was told to tighten up a flange, said he finished and only one flange was left, I tightened up the last flange and told the guys to start the pump so I could check for leaks. A second later I was soaked as water poured out of the flange he did, the bolts weren't even finger tight.
Thats enought for me
 
reckler

reckler

Member
the funniest thing I ever had happen was when I was wireing a sum-pump up for sewage. I went to a customers house request of the plumber to wire for a new sewage pump. this guy lived down a hill and had to pump his sewage up to the sewer lines in the city. when I was finished with the installation I told him the plumber would check the pump to see if it worked. he told me I wired it so he wanted me to check it. keep in mind this guy was bragging to me the whole time in how he had been scooping out the hole of sewage from overflowing into his basement for a week now.
Well anyway I told him to go into his basement and I would turn on the breaker and shut it off right away. just tell me if the pump turns on. he tld me, NO, you go in the basemant and I'll turn on the breaker. I told him just on and off real quick. well I went into the basement and yelled for him to turn it on. so he did, then he ran to his kitchen to hear if the pump was working. the kitchen was over the basement. I saw the pump come on and the 3" pipe connected to it blew apart and spryed raw sewage everywhere in the basement. he had stored everything in his basement too. I went up stairs thinking he might have shut off the breaker, was telling him the pipe broke. he said" Well do you think we should shut it off then"
to end the story. the guys house reaked of sewage and I was laughing uncontrolably. the kind of laughing you get a stomach ach and tears in your eyes. you had to see the look on his face when he smelled it then went to look at the damage. he was about to cry.
 
watson3

watson3

Active Member
In the NAVY, we would send newbies to "crank down the mast" as we went under bridges.."retrieve" the air slugs fired from torpedo tubes(during test fires, you just fire air pressure with nothing in the tubes)..Send them out to wait on the mail buoy to come floating by...things like that
 
skyman

skyman

Member
Originally Posted by reckler
lol
:hilarious
these are way to funny. I have used the wire steacher, sky hooks,left and right handed hammers,screw drivers,and pliers. I have never heard of some one getting an appointment for air in the tires. I about fell out of my chair when I read that. I think I have tears in my eyes now.


Actually there is such a thing called a "sky hook" it is used in skydiving. When you cutaway your main it will automatically deploys the reserve.
 
shogun323

shogun323

Active Member
I do IT work. Here is one of my favorite emails. The bottom portion is the original and my response is on top. It was the president of the company too.
If email is down, I would not have received this message!!!!!

[hr]
Original Message

[hr]
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2003 4:18 PM
To: Wade
Subject:
Please call me or Troy asap. E mail is down and I need your help.
Thanks
Ken
 
zman1

zman1

Active Member
Originally Posted by shogun323
I do IT work. Here is one of my favorite emails. The bottom portion is the original and my response is on top. It was the president of the company too.
If email is down, I would not have received this message!!!!!

[hr]
Original Message

[hr]
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2003 4:18 PM
To: Wade
Subject:
Please call me or Troy asap. E mail is down and I need your help.
Thanks
Ken

So did you reply in email with:

[hr]
Original Message

[hr]
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2003 4:19 PM
Sorry, email is down and I didn't get the message. Stop by my office to report this failure or call me....
Wade
 
catawaba

catawaba

Active Member
Originally Posted by Catawaba
(I'm a pharmacist) I once had a patient come to me looking for advice on his bloody nose. While we were discussing it, we talked about how he has had the flu and got a medication for the nausea....I asked what it was. (Thinking that some medications can cause a dry nose) He said "Phenergan SUPPOSITORY" but because they were TOO BIG to swallow, he put them in his nose! And he didn't remove the foil wrapper! NO WONDER he had a bloody nose!
I will NEVER forget him!


Since the

[hr]
was small, we rearranged all the products so the toothpastes and the hemorrhoid creams were in the same aisle. We did the same thing with breath mints and cough drops, smoking patches and heat wrap patches, VapoRub and IcyHot. And did you know that if your child has an ear infection, the liquid amoxicillin does NOT go in their EAR!!?!?!?
 
dmm0724

dmm0724

Member
I work at an answering service for doctors, hospitals, offices, nursing agencies, etc. and I think I will be adding a stupid story every day from now on

**btw if you hear your own stupidity in here...i'm sorry!! hehe
We have to ask customers for some accounts what county they are in, in order to page the correct nurse. This lady calls in, i get her info and ask what county. She said Jacksonville, Fl. I said ok, what county. "Jacksonville", I said yes i realize this but what COUNTY. She says Florida. I said no the county please. She said United States? No, lady the county!
Finally I told her I could not dispatch her call without the information, she would have to call back. She was mad and said, "we don't live in a county, we live in the city!"
 
dmm0724

dmm0724

Member
Oh, I thought of another hilarious one! I used to work at Petsmart and this lady came in and was talking to another one of the employees. I don't remember the whole story but the lady was talking about how her Oscar acts up.
The employee sorta laughed it off as the woman proceeded with her story about "bad" Oscar. She says, "sometimes he gets so bad, I have to spank him!"
Employee: How do you spank a fish???
Customer: What do you mean how do you spank a fish?! (very loudly so everyone could hear) Girl, you put on your rubber glove, take the fish outta the tank and you spank him! Gosh, what do you mean how do you spank a fish??? SHEESH!
 
shogun323

shogun323

Active Member
The dumbest ever is......................
There was a time when I was self employed. Then I took a job full time with a client. So instead of leaving my other main client high and dry, I took a greenie under my wings and trained him to do be their IT guy. He already had some experience. Well.......... They called me one Saturday to see why their network crashed so I went down to check things out. After looking around I found the problem. The new guy had been locking himself in the server room and using the domain controllers to view ---- all day!!!! He crashed 2 servers from viruses and spyware, and locked out ports on the firewall. It took quite a while to undue everything. Needless to say he was fired.
 
birdmom

birdmom

Member

I like this thread!! OK I have one..
A couple of years back my daughter borrowed my car for the evening. This is the car she was taught to drive in & had had her drivers license for about 2yrs. When she came home a few hours later that night she was very upset & nervous. She said that she was sorry but she thought she might have broken something on the car. She took me out to take a look & was rambling something about this knob that was down earlier but now it was up... We get to the car & she points to the steering column directing me to the gear shift lever... You see mom she says.... When I was driving I KNOW it was down much further!!.. I am so sorry! Yep! You know it!.... I gently explained to her that she should be aware that when the car is in drive... it will be down.. & when it park it will be up....
Oddly enough, I am the Blonde & she is the Redhead... Go figure..
She is now in college & just last month I came in from outside to 20+ calls on both my cell phone & land line... She left a couple of frantic messages about how her doors to the car would not unlock & she was late for work & if I did not answer the phone immediately to help she was sure to be fired.. So I call her back & she angrily explains that something is wrong with the remote & it will not unlock the doors...
She is hysterical & I am trying to calm her down long enough to ask... have you tried the key??? She angrily exclaims!! Yes, I already told I have tried it & IT WONT WORK!!! Another few moments pass before I am able to tell her to look for a round area next to the handle with a slot.. "could you please try inserting the key into that area & turn it?" I say... Duh....
She still refuses to discuss that one with me....
 
demartini

demartini

Active Member
Originally Posted by birdmom

I like this thread!! OK I have one..
A couple of years back my daughter borrowed my car for the evening. This is the car she was taught to drive in & had had her drivers license for about 2yrs. When she came home a few hours later that night she was very upset & nervous. She said that she was sorry but she thought she might have broken something on the car. She took me out to take a look & was rambling something about this knob that was down earlier but now it was up... We get to the car & she points to the steering column directing me to the gear shift lever... You see mom she says.... When I was driving I KNOW it was down much further!!.. I am so sorry! Yep! You know it!.... I gently explained to her that she should be aware that when the car is in drive... it will be down.. & when it park it will be up....
Oddly enough, I am the Blonde & she is the Redhead... Go figure..
She is now in college & just last month I came in from outside to 20+ calls on both my cell phone & land line... She left a couple of frantic messages about how her doors to the car would not unlock & she was late for work & if I did not answer the phone immediately to help she was sure to be fired.. So I call her back & she angrily explains that something is wrong with the remote & it will not unlock the doors...
She is hysterical & I am trying to calm her down long enough to ask... have you tried the key??? She angrily exclaims!! Yes, I already told I have tried it & IT WONT WORK!!! Another few moments pass before I am able to tell her to look for a round area next to the handle with a slot.. "could you please try inserting the key into that area & turn it?" I say... Duh....
She still refuses to discuss that one with me....


wow! that's all I can say...
 
grmreapr

grmreapr

Member
I have gotten people a couple time with telling them to check their tail light or head light fluid in their car.
 
S

surfinusa

Guest
Originally Posted by grmreapr
I have gotten people a couple time with telling them to check their tail light or head light fluid in their car.
that is hilariuos :hilarious
 
S

surfinusa

Guest
Originally Posted by dmm0724
Oh, I thought of another hilarious one! I used to work at Petsmart and this lady came in and was talking to another one of the employees. I don't remember the whole story but the lady was talking about how her Oscar acts up.
The employee sorta laughed it off as the woman proceeded with her story about "bad" Oscar. She says, "sometimes he gets so bad, I have to spank him!"
Employee: How do you spank a fish???
Customer: What do you mean how do you spank a fish?! (very loudly so everyone could hear) Girl, you put on your rubber glove, take the fish outta the tank and you spank him! Gosh, what do you mean how do you spank a fish??? SHEESH!
that is crazy but some how very funny
 
rslinger

rslinger

Member
When i used to have oscars i would flick the misbehaving one in the side. It really worked they would stop ripping up the tank for a couple days. not hard enough to hurt it just let it know that i was still boss. My oscars loved to eat out of my hand and one of the three that i had would let me pet it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top