People make me so mad..like my mother-in-law!

[sarah fair]

GOD! Does anyone else have a mother-in-law that just gets under your skin? One that you just want to tell them to Shut the #*-% up and get out of your face? I have one and wow did she push it last night...It was all I had in me to stop myself from saying something! Well really shes my soon to me mother-in-law that I have to live with...

Last night I went and picked up my aquarium (55 gallon) I was so excited...I couldnt wait :joy:
Well Kyle went to pick up Andrew to help us go move it. Me and Andrew went out in the truck and Kyle was in the house for a real long time and when he got out I was like what took so long and he was like my mom. I said well what did she say and he said she said what are yall going to do that I have to sit here and watch the baby? He said that we were going to pick up an aquarium and she was like UH WELL HOW MUCH IS IT? and he was like 'enough' then she kept going on 'WELL HOW MUCH?' and he just kept tellin her it was 'enough'. (it was ONLY $125 for EVERYTHING and a stand..I thought that was a pretty good deal) Well we go get it and bring it back and thats when it all started...'Where are you going to put that?!' just in this snooty B!*-%ing way and we were like 'right here' where the babys play pen goes and she goes 'UH WELL WHERE IS THE BABY GOING TO SLEEP!?' (which he sleeps in the bed with us every night anyways and she knows it) and I was just like 'Im just going to move it there..it will be fine there' and she walks out of the room..then she comes back after she thinks of another way to shoot down this idea and says 'Well what happens when the baby starts walking and pulling up?' and poor Andrew hes like me..loves fish and was excited about my tank too..well he was like 'Oh no no no look how sterdy this thing is...I cant even pull it over' and hes sitting there pulling on it trying to show her and shes just over there rolling her eyes then he was like 'plus when this thing is full of water its going to weigh a ton.' Well she walks out of the room making some remark about how shes got the baby ready and to come get him cause shes tired...(again just saying it cause she knows its going to make me mad) Well Kyle had to take Andrew home so I was left ALONE and I knew exactly what was going to happen..she was going to come in there and put me in a corner and put me down b/c I am the one who wanted the tank...well I go in there and grab the baby and go back to our room (which I cleaned spotless b/c I knew that would also make her mad

) Well she comes back there and starts really looking it over and shes just making comments that Im mostly blocking out while Im trying to lay down a bed in the playpen for the baby...But anyways what REALLY got me was when she was like 'Well this one wasnt big enough?' (talking about my 10 gallon) and I was just like 'No' with a smile..(yall know how it is..the bigger the better) and THEN she goes in the SNOOTIEST tone 'Well I just dont think its safe at all. He could pull that over on himself...I dont think yall should have gotten one so big.' and I was like 'Well were going to do something about that...Im not going to put something in here unsafe for the baby' and she was like "Well anyway its done I dont think its going to be safe..He could pull it down on him...' Then..THEN once she is out of my view in the hall she was like "But thats just yall..'
AHHHHHH GOD I ABOUT BLEW UP! She was saying it in a way that me and Kyle are irresponisble and buy stupid stuff...I am a stay at home mom that deserves to have something that I enjoy..but she doesnt see it that way...I do everything for her..Dishes, clean the house, do what ever she asks (I have even folded her and her husbands underwear..ugh!) and then she wants to go piss me off knowing exactly what shes doing...
I really just think shes jealous b/c kyle buys me stuff and her husband doesnt get her anything...basically anything I want real bad Kyle will get me even though some of it I dont even ask for it...But why does she take it out on me??? I have done NOTHING to her or anyone in this family..Shes just one of them people everyone in the family dreads to see because shes so judgemental and a B!*-%!
But anyways I REALLY want to tick her off today when she gets home and I want it to do with the tank...Anyone have any ideas?? It could really be anything..I cant fully set it up till this weekend...but still I want to just tee her off...
Well I know this really isnt the board for this kinda stuff but it was the 1st one I saw and I needed to vent...
But I feel better now..but am still looking for revenge!

haha
Anyone ever done something to there mother-in-laws to push their buttons but they really couldnt do anything about it? Cause that is EXACTLY what I want to do..If you have a story Id like to hear it...

Oh ya does or has anyone had a baby with a heavy aquarium?? Do yall think he could pull it over?? Cause I really dont..

 

[coachklm]

i have a 90g and my 10mth old isnt pulling it down....believe me she's tried....with the mother in law your going to have to step up to the plate... she will only get worse,are you and kyle married yet? if not wait until you are. then hit the bag with i'm a grown woman married to your wonderful son, i'd appreciate having the chance to live our lives without your scrutiny. Your suggestions are always helpful and appreciated but sarcasm and disrespect are not appropriate. just my opinion(almost word for word the conversation with my ex Mother in law.) as i'm a man.
a loaded 55 will not be a falling hazard if it is set up level.

 

[nicole05]

i wouldnt worry about the stand or fish tank being pulled over by the baby i have had a fish tank in my home for almost ten years and have had three children grow up around it if anything the baby will enjoy watching the fish

 

[sarah fair]

Well I have NEVER EVER been disrespectful to her...I have never said a cross word to her..Ive always just swallowed it down and went on... but I just like to do things to show her Im a better person than her..that really gets her..but anyways what are some examples of what the tank will be heavier than so I can throw that at her also...
My tank is also on kinda like this shag but not really shag carpet and that was kyles main consern..I just told him wed go to home depot and get a piece of wood to set under it to stable it more..? bad idea or do yall think it will be fine? I just want to take and extra safty step to show her that Im not a bad mom (cause that is what she was trying to make me feel last night..and every night to go along with that.. ) but he wants to put it on the dresser (which it will hang off a couple of inches off each side) and I told him that was more unsafe than the stand...plus it will look ugly that way..

 

[misfit]

I have a 4 yr old boy and a 14 month old boy, Ihave seven tanks in the house ranging from 2 gal-210 gal. I think that a baby could pull a smaller one on a stand quicker than a big one. That 55 will weigh some much I dont think an adult could pull it over on himself.IMO I wouldnt do aanything to make her mad,esepicially if you have to live with her. That will just give her much stuff to complain about. Kill her with kindness and show her you are a better person than her. Remember 2 wrongs dont make a right even though sometimes it might feel really good.Good luck with the new tank ,being a stay at home mom it a 24 hr job and you need something for yourself :joy:

 

[thirty6]

If it will make you feel better, place a small metal bracket on the stand and attach it to a nearby wall. It will give you some piece of mind and shut your mother in law up.

 

[coachklm]

I say stand up for yourself....escpecially if you have to live with her. who's house is it?

 

[sarah fair]

Hers and her husbands (who doesnt really like her B!%-#ing either) but I am forced to live here cause of kyle

 

[dottiekh]

I soooo feel your pain. I'm sorry...I know it's frustrating. Mine is no walk in the park....but, I do not live with her, Thank God!!
As far as your tank goes...I've had a tank for the last 12 years. I started with a 75 gal and I now have a 126 gal. I also have three kids (7,5,2). They LOVE my fish. My seven year old wanted to bag up my puffer and take it to show and tell last Friday

I had to say no because I'm the meanest mom in the world

Good luck with your tank and with your mother-in-law. You'll gets lots of enjoyment out of atleast one of them...

 

[dme]

Sarah Fair, If you are having disagreeable problems with your lovable to be mother-in-law, then it be best not to move in or not unless your wife to be puts her mother in her place telling here if she a problem with your spending that she would tell you that we cannot afford.
For when you a mother-in-law that is already coming up to bat in what you do, it will however only get worst most the time. You should do this, you should done that. These are the things that a wife to be would say.
My daughter at some time has a discussion with her hubby and I never look to get in between them, for one it is there problem and as long he not lays a hand on her, it is none of my business.
Together, you and your bride to be (and by the way, congratulations) must soon if you feel that her mother is putting in her .02 that together the two of you put her in her place for if you don `t and you move in which I would rather commit suicide then to do that.

 

[mr_bill]

I'm betting she's P'd because you guys didn't ask her about putting a tank in her house, and I would appologize for that if you didn't. I was debating about giving you some ammo to fight back with, but oh what the heck.... if you want to get back at her then what I would do is have loud pretend personal relations with my significant other during the next few days. Sport a huge smile and shrug off anything she says to you, because chances are there might be a reason for her grumpyness if you catch my drift. Secondly I would move out of that house as soon as possible, because it sure sounds to me like she has a chip on her shoulder over something. Maybe she feels you've stolen her little boy away, who knows.
Good Luck with that monster in law.

 

[fishy7]

Welll you have quite the problem...... First off she knows she has control over you. When you get mad and even when you do not, she knows it bothers you. That is where she gets her energy.
Your goal is to take that energy away from her so that she is left on the other side.
I am not clear on one thing. Does she live with you in your home or is this a person you have to live with?
How to correct.... Everyone has hot spots, she is clever enough to know yours and takes pleasure in pushing and seeing you get upset.
Actions speak louder then words:
First action step to take, your soon to be husband has to let her know that her behavior is not welcomed in your home. She has to completely understand. Give examples of what she does that upsets the household. DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT SARAH... Make it about the children. You do not want your children exposed to their (her)discontentment with life. Poor taste in comments. Discuss how harmony is not part of the household but needs to be. Focus on the house and how you want it to be. Compare how it is today and you want it to be tomorrow. Make a list....
Let me know how the talk goes or does not go.
If you get into a battle of the wills, it will end up in a disaster for all.

Remember your husband is in the middle, and he needs to step up to the plate, since he is the head of the household.

The next step involves actions.
Hope ths helps a little and this is strictly my opinion and what I would do in your situation.

 

[coachklm]

to satisfy both parties actions should be taken that compliment both sides.(phsycology101) comliment her actions that make her feel appreciated while deriving your point of view...husband must step up and take your side and both parties need to confer on a solution give and take....remember it is her house and she may always hold that a a trump card untill you move out.

 

[kimgpk]

I have a 8 year old and a 3 year old boy and there is no way that he could pull in down on him. I have tried to move mine an inch on the wall and it wouldn't even budge. About the soon to be Mother-In-Law beleive I now your pain although I don't live with her she has done some really crappy stuff to me. Those are her lttle boys (even though my husband is 45 and his brother is 40)I am also a stay at home mom. We just had a big fight about Valentines day of all things because my husband didn't get her anything like he ever has before. Anyway Kyle has to stand up for you and tell her the way it is. He is related to her your not. Stand up for yourself things will get even worse and your letting her walk all over you. Tell her to do her own Da*** Laundry.

 

[sarah fair]

Well see Kyle just tells me to ignor it because she treats everyone like that...but she does know what gets me all steamed up...She makes me do things she knows I dont want to do...like her laundry for example shell put it in the washer then the dryer pull it out put it in a basket bring it into the living room where Im watching TV and my son then drop it on the floor and go well if you feel like doing this and if your not doing anything would you mind folding all this? and I cant be like 'uh no'...I just GOD I cant stand her...She did this to Kyles brothers wife...She made them get devorced b/c she drove his wife so crazy..she called the bank and found out how much money they had in there accounts, opened their personal mail, walked right into their house, oh it just goes on...
And in the morns at like 6:30 she will I mean BUST into the door I have no idea how she makes the noise she does...makes me litterally jump because it scares me so bad..then she yells 'KYLE GET UP' and she wakes the baby up...she doesnt have to do that her husband just lightly knocks on the door and whispers 'Kyle are you up?'...AHHHHH GOD SHE JUST GETS UNDER MY SKIN!
I would if I could just move out...but to live around here its so expensive..they dont have cheap places (Its like $700+ a month for a 1 br apartment plus all the bills) so..Im stuck here..plus kyles mom doesnt want him to move out..shes the kind of mom that walks right behind him with a dust pan...it really ticks me off cause shes ruining him! But oh well...what can ya do when you live under her house? I mean she KNEW we were looking for that size..she said she would drive me around and look at yard sales...IDC I just want to stay locked in my room with my baby, not eat the food she makes (cause that would really make her mad), and not let her see the baby..or is that wrong? Cause sometimes she acts like it is such a pain to watch him for a couple hours (I mean she watches him like 1 day out of the week..maybe 2) then she wants to gripe when we take him somewhere..shes like why dont you just stay here? He doesnt need to be out..and Im just thinking in my mind..nobody wants to be stuck here with you..thats why your husband comes home every night at 9:30 and doesnt barley say 2 words to you..cause all you want to do is gripe, b!$#%, and moan...

 

[mikersof]

hum... we did it differently....
marriage
baby (X2)
aquariums
Before we were married i knew i had to do something or MIL would try to run every aspect of our lives forever. After the wedding at the reception, when it was time to leave, MIL got my new bride by the arm and said "it's now time to go and change out of your dress..." Well, i had my plan in place. I had one of my guys take my things and put them in the room my lady would be changing in. My timing was perfect. I caught up with them right at the door and as my lady was going in, i took her arm from MIL and said "she's my wife now and i'll be the one to help her undress from now on thank you very much." we hurried into the room and i closed the door on the biggest gaping mouth you have ever seen!
That was the first step. the second was 3 months later we moved 900 miles from home (okla) to chicago. What threads of apron string was still left were once and for all severed at that point. So far, it's been 29 years since stepping through that door. Believe it or not, i'm actually part of their family now. Something I'd never have been if we hadn't stood up for ourselves. Oh-- i was 17 and she was 18 when we did the I do's.
Sad to say, when we were married, my mom gained and daughter and my MIL "lost a daughter (in their own thinking that is).
I see it maybe that your MIL to be is thinking if you are not good enough for her son to marry, then why not run you off so he can find someone he wants to marry. Some are just old fashion (not saying old fashion is bad). She's just going about it in the wrong way.
I'd recommend getting married ASAP and finding a place of your own-- the further away from home the better!
Best wishes with your 55!!! OK OK... Best wishes with MIL too!
James =)

 

[cowfishrule]

you need to be up and out.
seriously. and your hubby to be has to be a man about it and say something to his mom. do not hook off on your mom in law and put your hubby in a bad situation. sit him down and say "i know you told me to ignore it, but it really hurts me and i just cant".
if he truely loves you, then he will act upon this.
having a baby is stressfull enough on a couple- having interference from a 3rd party is the last thing you need.
if things dont change, then you guys, as a couple, need to make a change by being up and out.

 

[coachklm]

revenge----i'm sure she would hate it if you got the newspaper and circled different apt. for rent and left it out for her to find...

or take out a craigslist sell ad for cranky mother in law and leave the computer screen like that for ahwile..

 

[mr_bill]

I really think that until you stand up for yourself things will never improve. Getting out of that house needs to be a first priority.
My story was similar in the fact that my wife was extremely guarded and controlled by her mother. This continues even after our first child, until that one day I had just had too much of comments and unwanted advice for raising my child. We were in our first apartment and I stood up and threw her out of my house, yes as I look back it was cruel and alot more mean than anything she had ever done to me but it was a critical turning point and she now calls me "her Bill". Everyone else is just Fred, or Mary, but I'm "her Bill" and we really do get along great now. It's just one big confrontation where they realize you are strong enough to look out for your own well being and your not affraid to step up and knock anything back on its booty that is trying to walk on you.

 

[cain420]

i can see it now.. they set up the tank and bleach finds its way in.... everything dies, and she gets what she wants - the tank is taken down...