1st Welcome to the board... there is a great wealth of knowledge here.
ok... were to start! For the most part... Stop looking for the "best equipment" There a very few thing in this hobby that people will agree are the "best."
look into protein skimmer:
for the best sump skimmers look into euroreef
For the best hang on back look a aquaC.
other than that you need to find equipment that fits your personal needs IE. your worried about you kids touching the lights... so you should be looking in to some type of canopy were there is no way for them to touch the lights unless they climb on the back of the tank or open the canopy... I know that no kid can open my canopy... My wife struggles to get this thing open.
(Heavy top! made it this way on purpose).
the other thing... Keep you setup simple at first for a reef all you really needs is:
1) tank
2) Stand
3) Filters
4) Canopy
5) Lighting
6) Circulation
tank ... 65G is great
Stand ... if you good with wood work you can make this stronger/better that the pre-fab ones and cheaper.
Filters... again keep this simple. LR/LS and a good skimmer is all you Really need. you stated that the tank will be next to a heater... so look into a chiller. Also a heater. Also look into a RO/DI filter. this will clean the water before you put it in you tank (top-off and water changes)
Canopy... Again. this is more that likely the best way for you to go since you have kids. also if you have a clue about wood you can make this very very easily! (just a box with a top that is on a hinge!) :thinking:
Lighting... there are endless options here! the 1st thing is to figure out exactly what you want! if you going with soft corals... PC's and VHO's would be just fine. if you going with LPS and SPS... you have to look into MH.
circulation... look into closed loops, Power head, Oscualators (Sp?) sould have ~20 X the turnover an hour
you also had a question on maintenance! the 1st couple of weeks... that is you life!
after that... I spend about 1/2hr a day doing check-ups/top offs.
during these daily check-ups I'm toping off my tank with ro/di water (This is the longest thing because RO/DI units only put out 2-5G of water per Hour!) during this time I'm just making sure all my pumps are running, skimmer cup isn't to full/stinky, Make sure my coral and fish look healthy. that's it
once a week (usually Friday night or sat. afternoon) I spend about 45min to 1 hr:
open beer
look and pumps
do 10g water change (125g tank with 30 sump)
open another beer... (takes me only 2 min to finish 1st beer)
now with the old water I run all of my tests. this can take me 20min.
clean light bulbs
clean skimmer.
with a turkey baster I blow crap off of LR.
and then I have another beer. and vegge! :cheer:
Sorry for the book... good luck!