The membrane should last over 20,000 gallons. The only real way to know when it's time is by periodically checking your product water with a TDS meter, and replacing when the TDS starts to rise.
TDS meters are inexpensive and pay for themselves very easily becuase they help you get the absolute most out of a $70 membrane. A crappy $20 is all most people need.
Depending on what stages you have...
Sediment PreFilter - I change mine when it turns very dark brown. If you don't have clear canisters, you'll need to periodically pull the cartridge out and inspect it.
Carbon Filter - I change this whenever I change the sediment filter.
DI Stage - I know you don't have this from our previous discussion but I'll post anyway... this one should be changed every few hundred gallons. This can also get expensive since DI media isn't cheap. You can get color change media that changes color when it's depleted - this is the easiest way to know when to change them without guessing. You can also buy the raw resin in bulk and re-fill the little plastic cartridge and save a ton of money.