salt water widow

mylady

mylady

Member
I'd heard of football widows and baseball widows but it wasn't until NOW that I ever would have thought of the term salt water widow! LOL hubby can and will sit and study that tank for hours. When I go to bed at night he's usually in front of the tank or posting something about the tank here. I can't say I begrudge him. I have my own unique obsessions he's put up with over the years. He has probably heard (and forgotten) more about dog grooming than he'd ever have cared to. I am sure I have spent tons more time pouring over grooming websites, forums, message boards than he has about computers or fish and I have been the driving force leading to us having, at one point, 4 dogs and 2 cats. Back up to 2 cats with only 3 dogs now. He's put up with me this long and my craziness, now it is his turn to find something he's truly passionate about. Every once in a while though I do get the notion to paint myself blue and draw some fish all over my body just to get some of that attention LOL. I find the tank fascinating, but just not in the same intense way he does, but since I feel that way about my dogs and cats (and everyone elses, plus kids) I completey understand the feeling. So, fess up, anyone here guilty of causing someone else to be a salt water widow(er)?
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
LOL....My husband is the football/hunting/video game fanatic......I am the animal/fish/everything that lives fanatic......he does what you do....he will come in my fish room and look and I know he really likes the looks of the tanks, but not like I do.....I am very grateful though that he is willing to help me....there is a lot I can not do on my own with the 225G, and I am afraid if not for him....I would not be able to keep that one...especially since I can not reach more than 1/2 way down

 
then there are the times that he is in the other room....and I call for him "HURRY HURRY....you have to see this"....LOL....something new grew on a coral, or something new crawling in the sand......or something
I get sooooo excited about that stuff haha
 
 
 
P.S. he has gone to bed many a night with me in the "fish room" typing away on the forum
 
S

saxman

Guest
OR, you could have a mate that is as into the hobby as you are...most of the time it's fantastic, but Renee and I DO have our own ways of doing things, which sometimes clash more than a little. Fortunately, those issues seem to be getting fewer as time goes on, and it's really nice to share and know that the other will get just as excited to see something new crop up in a tank, or that a certain fish is rare, or just took frozen for the first time...you get the idea.
 
Now if I could just get her to like playing FPS games...
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
My husband and I are both in the hobby, which makes things nice. We do clash from time to time. I'm far more into LPS and fish than he is. All he cares about is his darn SPS, which bores me to tears. I have only one purpose for SPS, and that's to frag it and use it to feed my filefish, which makes hubby crazy. It took me a while to be as involved in the hobby, but now I'm worse than my husband is.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTLDreef http:///forum/thread/380562/salt-water-widow#post_3312358
My husband and I are both in the hobby, which makes things nice. We do clash from time to time. I'm far more into LPS and fish than he is. All he cares about is his darn SPS, which bores me to tears. I have only one purpose for SPS, and that's to frag it and use it to feed my filefish, which makes hubby crazy. It took me a while to be as involved in the hobby, but now I'm worse than my husband is.
That's so funny.....my husband could not figure out why I liked SPS.....he says "But it doesn't do anything??" HAHA well Now that I have some finally growing, he can see the polyps, and the montis are "shelfing" and YUP....now he sees why (sorta) he still likes the flowing corals better

 
good thing they are my tanks
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/thread/380562/salt-water-widow#post_3312363
That's so funny.....my husband could not figure out why I liked SPS.....he says "But it doesn't do anything??" HAHA well Now that I have some finally growing, he can see the polyps, and the montis are "shelfing" and YUP....now he sees why (sorta) he still likes the flowing corals better

 
good thing they are my tanks

 
LOL ... I call them "colorful sticks". I just can't get into SPS. I like to see things that flow with the water. My perfect tank would just be filled with tons of flowing LPS (torches and such) and anemones. My husband would die. When we move he doesn't even want the anemones in the DT anymore because they might harm the precious colored sticks, LOL
 
 
mproctor4

mproctor4

Member
Luckily hubbie and I are both equally into the saltwater hobby (I forced it on him initially). Although I'm on the forum/computer much more than he is. We also each have our own way of doing things. We each have our own tank, in the same room so we work on them together. We help each other when asked and admire each others tanks....but we stay out of the other persons tank and don't give advice unless asked. Works great for us. My ex really wasn't interested in the tanks.....it is much more fun now and one of the ways we bond.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member

 
I am a saltwater hermit...I never get too far from home because I want to make sure my tank is safe..vacation is going two hours away from home and getting back that night.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///forum/thread/380562/salt-water-widow#post_3312462

 
I am a saltwater hermit...I never get too far from home because I want to make sure my tank is safe..vacation is going two hours away from home and getting back that night.
In the 2+ years I have had my tanks I have been the same way......I have NO ONE to watch them......I need to get away though
 
 
monsinour

monsinour

Active Member
There were plenty of nights where I would go to bed, tell her i was going to bed, and she wouldnt come to bed for hours later. She is constantly on the puter talking to her grooming friends. Not only on the boards, but also the live chat. You can walk into our house at any time of day, if she is home, I would bet that she is on the pc on one of her grooming boards or chat room.
 
However, I used to monopolize the pc with my addictive gaming that I had. I gave the game up and picked up the SW tank thing. I have avery addictive personality. Anything i am really into, i get way into it. THank god drugs do not appeal to me. Gambling on the other hand is fun, and If I had more money, i might have a problem. As I said a while ago, I am a hacker and love to take things apart and put them back together just to figure out how they work. Staring at the tank allows me to attempt to figure out how things work. My wife sees a feather duster, I see a very intricate animal that catches little things on "arms" that somehow pulls them into its mouth. The how of all is what facinates me and one of these days, I vow to see a feather duster eat something that I can actually see with my eyes. I have seen what little coral I have eat and it was cool. While killing the aiptasia was sad and disheartening, it was cool to see them "eat." While i was killing them, they reacted like it was food. Having those tentacles wrap around the syringe and pull it in closer was really amazing to me. I do believe that once something "alive" is in the tank, her attitude toward the tank will change. I think she needs to see something moving, something like shrimp or fish. The urchins dont move fast enough apparently.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380562/salt-water-widow#post_3312492
There were plenty of nights where I would go to bed, tell her i was going to bed, and she wouldnt come to bed for hours later. She is constantly on the puter talking to her grooming friends. Not only on the boards, but also the live chat. You can walk into our house at any time of day, if she is home, I would bet that she is on the pc on one of her grooming boards or chat room.
 
However, I used to monopolize the pc with my addictive gaming that I had. I gave the game up and picked up the SW tank thing. I have avery addictive personality. Anything i am really into, i get way into it. THank god drugs do not appeal to me. Gambling on the other hand is fun, and If I had more money, i might have a problem. As I said a while ago, I am a hacker and love to take things apart and put them back together just to figure out how they work. Staring at the tank allows me to attempt to figure out how things work. My wife sees a feather duster, I see a very intricate animal that catches little things on "arms" that somehow pulls them into its mouth. The how of all is what facinates me and one of these days, I vow to see a feather duster eat something that I can actually see with my eyes. I have seen what little coral I have eat and it was cool. While killing the aiptasia was sad and disheartening, it was cool to see them "eat." While i was killing them, they reacted like it was food. Having those tentacles wrap around the syringe and pull it in closer was really amazing to me. I do believe that once something "alive" is in the tank, her attitude toward the tank will change. I think she needs to see something moving, something like shrimp or fish. The urchins dont move fast enough apparently.

 
When I was married, we had our own computers...otherwise it would be a mad rush to see who got online to do their thing first. We had a spare bedroom we called it the computer room...his was on one side and mine on the other along the same wall. So we were together but instead of watching TV we sat on our puters and enjoyed each others company too.
 
I was married for 34 years...he had an adictive personality too...in the end, turns out he liked drugs and gambling.

 
 
spanko

spanko

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTLDreef http:///forum/thread/380562/salt-water-widow#post_3312369
 
 
LOL ... I call them "colorful sticks". I just can't get into SPS. I like to see things that flow with the water. My perfect tank would just be filled with tons of flowing LPS (torches and such) and anemones. My husband would die. When we move he doesn't even want the anemones in the DT anymore because they might harm the precious colored sticks, LOL
 
Depends on how much polyp extension you can get from them. Mine flow like hairy little sticks.
 
 
 
n8ball2013

n8ball2013

Member
my wife and I are both equally in to the hobby. she likes fish(mostly the non reef safe kind) and I like the coral and the technical aspect. I get to do the aquascaping maintenance stuff like that though lol. My wife picks the fish out. Thats why we have a juvenile mappa puffer in the 150..... its a pretty cool fish though. lol.
 
rlablan

rlablan

Active Member
I use my tanks as leverage. As in "well you bought a blah blah for your car last week" or "you got a new camera lense so I got this clam"... If it looks pretty, he doesn't care... Til he finds out that it was expensive... so when we go to the fish store, I point out "see, I could have gotten that ugly brown one, but this one was only 25 bucks more and it's way prettier. It was a better investment" I'm not really fooling anyone but it works... if not, then I make cookies or something.
 
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