Sonnet

pezenfuego

pezenfuego

Active Member
I have to write a sonnet for English Class tomorrow. It either has to be about love or hate. I wrote one just now that I feel isn't great. Wow...I guess I was in the rhyming mood

Anyway, I want your opinions and maybe suggestions for improval or even title. Btw, each line has to be ten syllables, but a few can be 9 or 11 it's okay. I didn't know what to write about and note I have never had a dog die...but I have a dog right now
Anyway, be honest. I won't care if you think it is horrible and if you do, I ask that you tell me

Her color was bright at the sunlit park;
We played fetch near the shadow of an oak.
Her joy in the form of a frivolous bark,
Like a laugh as if I told her a joke.
This memory I bear is deep in my b reast,
And I shall never forget my love for her.
I said goodbye and laid her down to rest
As I brushed her cheek and stroked her fur.
My hands were licked, her way to say goodbye,
And I muttered a few words of sorrow.
I felt she was ready and soon would die.
I knew I would not see her tomorrow.
I sat there and hoped this wasn’t the end.
She was more than a dog, she was my friend.
Thanks!
Sorry for that word...I am using it to mean heart
 
t316

t316

Active Member
If you are not liking the word b-reast, then substitute it with "heart", then change the word 'rest' to "fart".....Now say it...

This memory I bear is deep in my heart,
And I shall never forget my love for her.
I said goodbye and laid her down to fart
As I brushed her cheek and stroked her fur.
Just kidding, very nicely done...
 
pezenfuego

pezenfuego

Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/2932893
If you are not liking the word b-reast, then substitute it with "heart", then change the word 'rest' to "fart".....Now say it...

This memory I bear is deep in my heart,
And I shall never forget my love for her.
I said goodbye and laid her down to fart
As I brushed her cheek and stroked her fur.
Just kidding, very nicely done...


I'm debating whether it's worth changing lol. It may get me a bad grade, but that's priceless. I'm fine with the word b.reast though.
 
gypsana

gypsana

Active Member
That was great, but thanks for making me cry.

BTW is it really offensive or against the forum rules to type b-reast correctly? If so that is pretty lame IMO.
 
t316

t316

Active Member
Originally Posted by gypsana
http:///forum/post/2932914
That was great, but thanks for making me cry.

BTW is it really offensive or against the forum rules to type b-reast correctly? If so that is pretty lame IMO.
I think it's just automatically filtered since it's such a common word used in many of the p.orn trash mail
 
bigarn

bigarn

Active Member
Originally Posted by gypsana
http:///forum/post/2932914
That was great, but thanks for making me cry.

BTW is it really offensive or against the forum rules to type b-reast correctly? If so that is pretty lame IMO.
The filters will probably pick it up due to

[hr]
spam.
 
pezenfuego

pezenfuego

Active Member
Thanks for assuring me that it doesn't suck.
I went ahead and made the title: "My Friend"
Maybe I'll come back and tell you what I got on it...that is if I go to school tomorrow.
 
jacknjill

jacknjill

Active Member
I had to write one a couple months ago for school as well. Yours doesnt have to be in iambic pentameter im assuming?
 
pezenfuego

pezenfuego

Active Member
Originally Posted by PEZenfuego
http:///forum/post/2933048
Thanks for assuring me that it doesn't suck.
I went ahead and made the title: "My Friend"
Maybe I'll come back and tell you what I got on it...that is if I go to school tomorrow.
Oh yeah, I got a 96 on this. I was looking for it today on my computer and I guess I deleted it. Thank you, Saltwaterfish.com!
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Originally Posted by PEZenfuego
http:///forum/post/3160067
Oh yeah, I got a 96 on this. I was looking for it today on my computer and I guess I deleted it. Thank you, Saltwaterfish.com!
LOL...Good for you....this would have been last year though ...right?
 
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