stay at home fathers...

[salty blues]

This probably sounds old-fashioned, but I believe if kids are produced, it is the responsibility of at least one parent to stay home and raise them. The father or the mother, I don't really care which, just not a day care or "baby sitter".

 

[scotts]

Where to start? First off I agree with Trippkid. I have an engineering degree and was the facility manager for a manufacturing Co. I ran the maint dept. and the tooling dept. and had 12 direct reports. But things were getting too rough for us. My daughter had medical problems and my son is autistic so we had the extra bonus of running to this doctor or that therapist. When I quit the stress level was reduced just for the fact of less running around, I was able to go to the grocery store etc. so our weekends were more time at home. Then also when your little one gets sick and both are working, who is going to take the day off?
I am so thankful that we are in a position that one of us can stay home with our kids. We always shared the parenting, we bottle fed so whoever heard the kid in the night got up and fed him/her. Also when both of use worked whover was the first one home cooked dinner. So for me it was not a culture shock to take care of our kids. I know some guys who are lucky to know their kids name, let alone be able to take care of their kid even for an afternoon.
The only real problem is when my wife's job gets pretty rough and she starts saying it is too bad that I can't be the one making the money.
You mention about "taking care" of your family. What better way is there to take care of your family, then to actually be taking care of your family?
Scott

 

[trippkid]

Thanks Scotts, I appreciate that. You sound like a guy who knows his priorities.

My son's school friend has a brother with autism, he is really withdrawn and really in his own world. He really loves my tank we he is over. I can't pretend to imagine how difficult it must be sometimes. My youngest son(2) is asthmatic, so last year we spent most of the time in and out of the hospital during the winter, good thing my wife is a nurse, she could visit even when she was working. Our family definitely took a pay cut when we decided I would stay at home, but you make it work. I don't think I could try and do a job from home at the same time, unless you can do it either at 11:30 at night or in 1-2 min increments throughout the day, that is about all the time you can possibly get between the "daddy,daddy,daddy", or "I'm hungry, get me something more to eat". I also get to watch my daughter(4) in gymnastics, be a soccer coach for my oldest son(6). I know if I was working it would be a whole different story. You don't realize what you miss, if your never there to begin with, it is not just the first moments thing, but really watching them grow up in front of you is really special.
Matt

 

[rackyrane]

Renogaw,
I have a different perspective. My husband stays home with the kids. I have a great job and make good money. When we moved last, my husbands job wouldn't transfer so we decided that he should stay home with the kids. It was a great decision for us. I never have to worry about daycare or where my kids are or who they are with. They have alot of after school activities and I don't have to worry about getting them to anything. My hubbie cooks, cleans, etc. I feel that I am blessed that he stays home with the kids. They are in school now, but he does alot of stuff with them at school also. No one strange is raising my kids. Reconsider staying home with your children. The time you spend with them will be precious to you and them.

 

[notsonoob]

Here's a different perspective.
Making money can be feast or famine.
Why squabble who wears pants? Make money while the making is good!
I used to have enough OT to keep my wife home. Now I do not, so she has to work. If she made even more than me...so what? That is a lot less then I have to worry about.

 

[kerriann]

Originally Posted by salty blues
This probably sounds old-fashioned, but I believe if kids are produced, it is the responsibility of at least one parent to stay home and raise them. The father or the mother, I don't really care which, just not a day care or "baby sitter".
I don't think it's old fashioned at all. I definitely feel that kids are better off having their parents home rather than a babysitter. When I was growing up we NEVER had a babysitter and, to be honest, I feel that's the problem with most of the kids today is that with most of these kids rarely seeing their parents they were able to get away with so much more and just keep pushing their limits. kids need discipline and guidelines and, lets face it, parents are the ONLY ones who can give them that properly

 

[scotts]

Tripp, YOU DA MAN!!!

You and Racky hit the nail on the head. Being able to take care of things to make life easier and better. TK OH do you bring back memories. Having to be careful turning around because there is a kid right behind you, or going to the bathroom and hearing a little body leaning up against the door.

Even though my kids are in school there is an hour a day I spend in the car picking them up (they go to different schools) then feeding them and doing their homework, which of course they cannot do together at the same time so it doubles the homework time each night. I actually work as a yard duty at a local school while my kids are in school. Works out great because when the kids are off, so am I. Enough about me.
Even when they are young, like yours TK, there is the 1,287,659 books that you have to read to them. I can still recite Baby Bops ABC book by memory.
Like the bumper sticker says, the best thing you can spend on your kids is time.

 

[libby]

Our dad raised us girls(Mom worked)...Okay we love the Indains & Browns...But I wouldn't change it for the world I miss him soooo much.
Good-Luck papa.

 

[sepulatian]

Ren, I do hope that it all works out. The best quote from this thread is "The best thing you can spend with your kids is time." It is so true. They grow quickly. Being home isn't permanent. It may sound like it is, but just ride it out and don't ask your wife when she is going to be the one at home. You will like it though. It is a lot to deal with at first, but everything will work out.

 

[renogaw]

well, we did the finances yesterday, and without the added expense of a baby, we're falling about $800 short with just her salary. SO i am going to have to figure something else out... maybe work nights/weekends for some lfs cleaning tanks, or maybe UPS sorting (amazes me how much they make), or something. I asked about possibly setting up and running an ecommerce site for some local sister companies, but nothing has been said about that.
thanks to everyone's comments i was all excited to be staying home... then the reality of our big house, and 2 brand new cars, and living the uncaring lifestyle of dinks, hit me upside the head yesterday...

 

[kjr_trig]

Originally Posted by renogaw
well, we did the finances yesterday, and without the added expense of a baby, we're falling about $800 short with just her salary. SO i am going to have to figure something else out... maybe work nights/weekends for some lfs cleaning tanks, or maybe UPS sorting (amazes me how much they make), or something. I asked about possibly setting up and running an ecommerce site for some local sister companies, but nothing has been said about that.
thanks to everyone's comments i was all excited to be staying home... then the reality of our big house, and 2 brand new cars, and living the uncaring lifestyle of dinks, hit me upside the head yesterday...
Are you completely anti-daycare or what??

 

[renogaw]

Originally Posted by kjr_trig
Are you completely anti-daycare or what??

pretty much... i realize you sent me the pm, but i'm just concerned that someone other than me or my wife is going to be teaching my first born social skills that i don't want her to have. not to mention that daycare is over $1300 a month for my area...

 

[kjr_trig]

Originally Posted by renogaw
pretty much... i realize you sent me the pm, but i'm just concerned that someone other than me or my wife is going to be teaching my first born social skills that i don't want her to have. not to mention that daycare is over $1300 a month for my area...
Ouch...ours is $140 a week and done in a church with teachers we are very comfortable with...I really don't think kids learn "social skills" until they are old enough to go to school though....Our 2 1/2 year old says "please" and "thank you" but I'm not sure she really knows why....My mom was "stay at home", my wife went to daycare, she has much better social skills than I do

.

 

[m0nk]

Originally Posted by renogaw
well, we did the finances yesterday, and without the added expense of a baby, we're falling about $800 short with just her salary. SO i am going to have to figure something else out... maybe work nights/weekends for some lfs cleaning tanks, or maybe UPS sorting (amazes me how much they make), or something. I asked about possibly setting up and running an ecommerce site for some local sister companies, but nothing has been said about that.
thanks to everyone's comments i was all excited to be staying home... then the reality of our big house, and 2 brand new cars, and living the uncaring lifestyle of dinks, hit me upside the head yesterday...
If you need any help/advice on the ecommerce site stuff, let me know. It's pretty much what I do. I used to do systems administration work with deploying pre-designed ecommerce systems and now I actually program them, so I might be able to help with any route you take there.

 

[renogaw]

Originally Posted by m0nk
If you need any help/advice on the ecommerce site stuff, let me know. It's pretty much what I do. I used to do systems administration work with deploying pre-designed ecommerce systems and now I actually program them, so I might be able to help with any route you take there.
wow, that would be great. I'd be starting from scratch.

 

[m0nk]

Originally Posted by renogaw
wow, that would be great. I'd be starting from scratch.
Cool, feel free to email me at m0nk@techdimension.net at any time.

 

[turningtim]

Renogaw, I have stayed home now for about 5 years. My wife and I were fortunate enough that she was able to use and extend her maturity leave for 6 months for both of our kids and I was still working. We did the daycare thing for a couple years but then I lost my job and the expense of daycare just wasn't worth me finding another job and turning around and paying for someone else to rise my kids. So we decided to put all our eggs in my wifes basket and further her career.
Daycare was hit or miss. We went through 4 daycare providers and I was only truly happy with two of them. Both where in home and a max of 6 kids.
But I have to say that the best is a parent staying at home! Its is amazing to me still all the things that I have to do in order to rise these guys even now that they are both in school. I think the consistency is what makes everything in our house work.
I realize that its tough with only one income but if you can swing it I would do it! For a while I put my youngest (oldest was in school) in daycare for 2 days a week and worked those two days and weekends to make some extra cash.
JMHO, HTH
Tim