Teenagers?

[poniegirl]

OK, who has had some of these and how do you keep them from becoming vegetables in a posetive way?
We already had one teenager, but she was exceptional and had ambition that was inspiring. She may have been switched at birth.
This new teenager is developing the blase', bored, LAZY attitude that quite frankly scares me senseless.
She is quite athletic, played soccer for 6 years and has recently been sought out to join basketball teams (yes, plural..she is 12 3/4 years old and 5'8", 105lb!). She likes the game, but LOVES her computer, the TV, the movies, the *&^% cell phone!
I'd love to hear some thoughts!

 

[ric maniac]

i being a teenager would not suggest chastizing her about it. that will just make her want to be on it more. i suggest trying to get her out of the house like walking or riding a bike (go shopping for a new one for her and she will love it lol). or get her a nano and help her set it up and that will help her be off the computer i know it did for me!

 

[dina12]

I can't wait to hear the responses to this one. I just got a new teenager myself and it has became the biggest lump I have ever seen. They forgot to send the owners manual - I am sure there is a place to change the batteries or turn these creatures on somewhere.....

 

[smartorl]

If they sent the owner's manual, you would most likely return them before they became teens. I survived one, my daughter is 18 and finally becoming human again and someone I don't see as an alien. My son is more of a challenge because he is glued to the phone or his laptop 24 / 7 talking to his latest girlie. It gets very aggrevating. I have found the best thing to do, instead of trying to change their behavior, to be as supportive as possible and find more things for me to do so that I don't obsess about what they are doing. I struggled to control my daughter, it was a losing battle, with him, I try to give him his space and respect his boundaries. Honestly, if they don't know respect and rules by their teens, you aren't going to teach them now. My kids are good kids, they do sports, have friends, are still a part of things (in more of a reserved manner now), they are not out running the streets, or getting into trouble. I have seen so many of my friends try to control their teens like they were 4 or 5 and it just doesn't work, the kids rebel and can get into some real trouble. Good luck.

 

[poniegirl]

Originally Posted by ric maniac
i being a teenager would not suggest chastizing her about it. that will just make her want to be on it more. i suggest trying to get her out of the house like walking or riding a bike (go shopping for a new one for her and she will love it lol). or get her a nano and help her set it up and that will help her be off the computer i know it did for me!
Thank you! I do participate, bike rides downtown for lunch, walks to the spray park...I know she loves that, but single and working I only wish I could do it more.
My time at work is a great concern.
My wish is to help her find her own motivation. I know it has to be there somewhere...

 

[poniegirl]

Originally Posted by dina12
I can't wait to hear the responses to this one. I just got a new teenager myself and it has became the biggest lump I have ever seen. They forgot to send the owners manual - I am sure there is a place to change the batteries or turn these creatures on somewhere.....
Exactly! Turn them on. Tune them in.
Do I remove some of the mind-gels? Will she really find something to stay busy off-line if I limit computer time, or will she sit down and become surly?
Do I offer 10 things a day, 5 fun, 5 a drag and expect 1 from each list to be done?
I have a few thoughts, but don't want to spark mutiny.
Has anyone tried a computer/tv/phone schedule type of thing?
And then I think, I had a list of all crappy things to do, NO computer and for heavens sake, the best program was Gilligan's Island. What am I feeling guilty for?

 

[jennythebugg]

i have one they do turn into lumps , if she wants to you should see if she wants to join a church softball league or some other sports league

 

[ifirefight]

HOLY LORD..... I only have a few good years left.....my Baby is 10...I cant wait till I have to deal with this.......

 

[emporer angel]

ima teen. sorry but dont give your daughter a nano. now that i have a fish tank im on the computer a lott. lol

 

[earlybird]

Turn the AC off in the house during the day in fact, unplug it. She'll go outside.

 

[susiestank]

I being 22 now can say the best thing my parents did for me was just trust me and give me space. When I was in high school alot of my friends had so many rules ... and to see how they reacted when they went away to college was awful - they went crazy and many didnt do well the first year because they were so busy going out. I was allowed to go out on school nights etc and didnt have a curfew in h.s as long as I checked in with my parents. In hs I did 2 sports and worked. That kept me really busy - maybe see if she is interested in getting a part time job. Between school sports and working - there was little lazy time for me. Also I met lots of friends at my part time job and we would hang out after work and things which was always nice. I did pretty good in hs - 3.2ish gpa but now that I am on my own and in college - I have gotten a 4.0 every semester but 1 and have been working the entire time. The best thing for me was that when I went to school I didnt go crazy with the freedom because I had it before and I knew how to manage my time between work and school.
No matter what advice anyone gives - it has to be what your comfortable with and what will work.

 

[sk8r_dave]

I'm a teen as well. i have two sugestions, the first being let them go outside and be with their friends. Also the second sugesgion being to get them to do a team sport with their friends( I sugest kung fu because it isn't a seasonal activity and depending on the school a friendly astmospher)

 

[ice4ice]

Pffffffttt - kids nowadays don't know how to have fun anymore except play on computer, watch TV, talk on cell phone, or anything that's cool in modern technology. Get them outside and involved in outdoor activities. Fishing, volleyball, the beach, camping, etc ...

 

[reefraff]

Originally Posted by Ice4Ice
Pffffffttt - kids nowadays don't know how to have fun anymore except play on computer, watch TV, talk on cell phone, or anything that's cool in modern technology. Get them outside and involved in outdoor activities. Fishing, volleyball, the beach, camping, etc ...
LOL, I was just wondering when having a cell phone became a constitutional right for a teenager. I told my kid he wasn't running whores, guns or drugs at school, he didn't need one unless he got a job and paid for it himself.

 

[rabbit_72]

Originally Posted by reefraff
LOL, I was just wondering when having a cell phone became a constitutional right for a teenager. I told my kid he wasn't running whores, guns or drugs at school, he didn't need one unless he got a job and paid for it himself.

Thanks for finally making me laugh today....it's been a tough morning!

 

[susiestank]

Originally Posted by reefraff
LOL, I was just wondering when having a cell phone became a constitutional right for a teenager. I told my kid he wasn't running whores, guns or drugs at school, he didn't need one unless he got a job and paid for it himself.

Thats exactly when I got mine. when I started working when I was 15 - is when I got one. I got it since it was before I could drive to call and say I was done working - come get me etc.
I totally agree thats when a teen should get one. I see all these 10-12 year old with phones ... Its just sooo out of hand now... Dont get me started on clothing either - the girls at the mall with their moms! they are about 10-12 and dress in something i wouldnt even wear being 22. The moms think its "cute" .. no not cute when a child's skirt is as short as a pole dancer's!

 

[f14peter]

As the former keeper of two teens, I'd suggest that if yours is spending every free waking moment on a computer, or glued to the TV with videogames, or on their cellphone, then it's probably too late to modify their behavior.
The time to set standards of time allocated to recreational activities and such, and trying to enfluence them such as encouraging outdoor and social activities and responsibility (If their techno-activities interfer with household tasks, schoolwork, etc) ... that should be done in the pre-teen years.
That said, usually they're turn out just fine, even the "Lazy" ones. Also, if a teen is being responsible, doing well in school, has good social behaviors, and keeping up on any household chores, then they should be allowed to do as they wish with their free time ... within the standards of the law and their parents guidelines.
And with that said, call me old school, but when issues of the general health of the population, and young people in particular, make headline news, this sedentary and technologically-dependent lifestyle doesn't bode too well for the future. Yep, I was oh-so typical, growing up in the 1960s and early 70s ... every moment I wasn't sleeping, at school, or doing chores was spent outside, weather permitting. During summer, I'd leave in the morning and come back in after it got dark ... bike riding, playing sports or running around.
When I see so many young people (It's not just teens, being a computer or video-game junkie knows few age boundaries) letting days, weeks, months, just slip away essentially doing nothing, I do become a bit disheartened. I'm not suggesting every young person become super-athlete or a fitness-fiend, but just get off their duff once in a while and experience the outdoors, the fresh air, the sunshine.

 

[smartorl]

Oh, and be prepared for the day you find your sons ---- stash, that one really, really burns. You picture him at three with the big innocent eye, ouch.

 

[ric maniac]

Originally Posted by smartorl
Oh, and be prepared for the day you find your sons ---- stash, that one really, really burns. You picture him at three with the big innocent eye, ouch.

"but it wasnt mine! i was holding it for a frend" will be the most likely excuse

 

[wangotango]

Originally Posted by ric maniac

"but it wasnt mine! i was holding it for a frend" will be the most likely excuse

doesnt work...

-Justin