The worst mistake of my life!!!

[jrthomas40]

my advice is to take a look at the last 6 years more good times than bad...does she do things that really tip you off as to why the relationship isnt going to work...if there are reason that just dont work for you and that is a key that getting back togehter is not a good idea...if everything was good and there were small things that were just petty and it was an actual good relationship then call and talk to her about how you are feeling or send it to her in an email....im not much of a talker so i do the email thing....but if the reasons you have for thinking the relationship is not going to work then only way to truely move on is to cut ties and have no contact until you can be just friends

 

[hypertek99]

Thanks for all the replys. Out of the 6 years we rarely fight or argued. It wasn't until we moved in together till everything went downhill. Isn't it suppose to be hard when you first move in together. I don't know anymore. I still talk to her and we actually talk more than we have been. I don't know what went on seriously as i said earlier we never argued, cheated, fight, etc. The only thing i can think of was her school cuz she is a RN now. But i'm not going to listen to most of you i'm going to get her back. I've tried dating other girls and i know what i feel. There were a few girls i thought that was going to work out but i just want to be friends with them now. Well i'm off to the hospital to visit her at work now. I realize i haven't visited her more than i should. Going to bring her some food. Yeah i haven't messed with my tank all week so i was thinking of selling everything to someone that can take care of it but hopefully i can work it out with her and get back to my normal self and take care of the tank again and give her more attention.

 

[jrthomas40]

that is a good idea...if everything was good and rarely argued...it is tough when you first move in together because you HAVE to learn each other and put up with each others habits and it is TOUGH...when i first moved in with my G/F she was ALWAYS complaining about sometthing being out of place or stuff i would be working on and just put to the side for a little while to take a break...come back from my break and couldnt find my stuff so i would me mad she moved it and she would be mad i left it out....so it just takes getting used to and you learn to not do somethings and so will she but there will ALWAYS be things that just grind your nerves....so i say good luck on working it out and hopefully she will understand....just tell her how you were feeling and it spooked you

 

[sepulatian]

Relationships are give and take. Things are not always going to be your way just as much as they are not going to always be your partners way. That is just the way that it is. It requires compromise on both parties. Doing little things to aggravate each other does not help, I have a feeling that is why she turned off your alarm clock, it only makes things worse. I hope that she is happy to see you and I hope that it all works out, as things tend to do. I am actually quite surprised that you dated other people. Are you sure that you are not clinging to good memories? I left my husband of 10 years and had no desire to see other people. I was the one that threw him out. I enjoyed being able to do what I wanted to do, but never hooked up with anyone else. I gave him a full year to show me that all was good. Of course that didn't happen, but no one can say that I didn't try. After a year I told him that it was truly over. I gave him a hug and left. I still visit from time to time. He now owns my store. Many times people leave someone then remember old times and think that is what they want. The grass always looks greener on the other side.

 

[lion_crazz]

Originally Posted by Hypertek99
http:///forum/post/2455917
Thanks for all the replys. Out of the 6 years we rarely fight or argued. It wasn't until we moved in together till everything went downhill. Isn't it suppose to be hard when you first move in together. I don't know anymore. I still talk to her and we actually talk more than we have been. I don't know what went on seriously as i said earlier we never argued, cheated, fight, etc. The only thing i can think of was her school cuz she is a RN now. But i'm not going to listen to most of you i'm going to get her back. I've tried dating other girls and i know what i feel. There were a few girls i thought that was going to work out but i just want to be friends with them now. Well i'm off to the hospital to visit her at work now. I realize i haven't visited her more than i should. Going to bring her some food. Yeah i haven't messed with my tank all week so i was thinking of selling everything to someone that can take care of it but hopefully i can work it out with her and get back to my normal self and take care of the tank again and give her more attention.
Hyper, if you want to get her back, put your whole heart and soul into it. Make her far and above the most important thing in your life and hoenstly pray to God that she will feel the same way you feel about her. Never give up hope, no matter how down it may look for you and your relationship with her. Everything in life happens for a reason.
I hope everything works out for you and her.

 

[reefmate75]

Originally Posted by Hypertek99
http:///forum/post/2455917
Thanks for all the replys. Out of the 6 years we rarely fight or argued. It wasn't until we moved in together till everything went downhill. Isn't it suppose to be hard when you first move in together. I don't know anymore. I still talk to her and we actually talk more than we have been. I don't know what went on seriously as i said earlier we never argued, cheated, fight, etc. The only thing i can think of was her school cuz she is a RN now. But i'm not going to listen to most of you i'm going to get her back. I've tried dating other girls and i know what i feel. There were a few girls i thought that was going to work out but i just want to be friends with them now. Well i'm off to the hospital to visit her at work now. I realize i haven't visited her more than i should. Going to bring her some food. Yeah i haven't messed with my tank all week so i was thinking of selling everything to someone that can take care of it but hopefully i can work it out with her and get back to my normal self and take care of the tank again and give her more attention.

thats the additude you need to make it!!! but you both haev to be willing to work on it or you will be misrabul instead of happy, me and my wife went to a weekend to remember and boy it was great...it was a confrence on marrage, best time i can remember with her and it was all becuase we were alone nothing on the outside of the hotel to worry about and we left our cell phones at home, follow your heart and hope hers is feeling what yours is, but i do recomend getting married, and working together to make it better for both of you..i dont say get married becuase its the right thing to do but becuase people who are married are more willing to try to work it out then just part with no worrys or paper work haha, its a writen form of comitment and people try to keep whats in writeing

talk to her about it is your frist step, dont be grumpy, i know its hard not to be but a woman dosent want to get back with a grumpy man, BTW hyper me and you are the same age

 

[hypertek99]

Well we have been hanging out the past few nights but she's also seeing another guy which kills me. And now they are starting to hang out more. She tells me she still wants to be friends so i'm thinking she has moved on. I'm so confused right now. I think i'm going to chill and stop bugging her. I keep calling her and wanting to just talk to her and hang out with her i think it's pushing her away more. I want her back so bad but everything is against me what to do? Do i just accept that we just be friends and nothing more? My heart aches and i've never been this stressed out and worried before. I'm hanging out with this girl i use to like but i just want to be with my ex.

 

[alexmir]

If you have told her how you feel, and she isnt making a move on it, just leave her alone for a while. Go out with other people, find interests, and keep your mind off her. And if in a few weeks or months she comes back, and you decide you want to get back together with her, then do. But if you force yourself to find other things and people that make you happy, then you might decide you want something else. Just my opinion

 

[hypertek99]

Yeah i'm just going to cool things down a little. Going to hang out with her still as friends i guess. I hope she comes back to me later on as i would get back with her in a heartbeat. I'm starting to feel better been talking to a lot of my friends tonight and everyone is trying to cheer me up.

 

[ruaround]

i totally agree with what Journy said... and what advice Crash gave... and on top of what they said... is your desire to rekindle over the fact that you found out she is dating someone else???
you really arent going to get any better until you actually "own" letting her go... its gonna hurt for a while... and time is the only healer... you need to go out... you need to do the things that you used to... otherwise your gonna be swimming in a sea of pity and woe is me for a long long time and become very bitter...

 

[sepulatian]

Originally Posted by Hypertek99
http:///forum/post/2462400
Yeah i'm just going to cool things down a little. Going to hang out with her still as friends i guess. I hope she comes back to me later on as i would get back with her in a heartbeat. I'm starting to feel better been talking to a lot of my friends tonight and everyone is trying to cheer me up.
Hm, it sounds to me like she has moved on. It will torture you to see her with another man. Keep your distance for now. You may be able to be friends down the road, but not just yet.

 

[m0nk]

Maybe I can help here a little. I'm divorced; I left my wife because she had an affair. It really hurt for a while knowing that she was off with this guy while I was thinking about her but in the end things are better off. I had taken our son with me and I still have custody over 2 years later, and every time I started to think about what we had, I'd just focus my attention on my son... a year went by and I suddenly realized that I had totally stopped thinking about it, and yet I still had to see her once every other week for her visitations.... It's not exactly the same situation, but I guess the point is that at this point you're in a situation where she's with some guy and you're thinking about her being with him. My advice is that you cut off relations for the time being, at least until you've moved on too, since it does seem like she has. Find something positive to put your energy into; some point of focus that helps you forget about things; perhaps work out, or take up some exercise related hobby. Then in another 6 months you'll be feeling great physically, you might have some new "attributes" that other women will take notice to

, and you'll completely forget why you were so torn up. Hope that helps some.

 

[reefraff]

Originally Posted by Hypertek99
http:///forum/post/2462400
Yeah i'm just going to cool things down a little. Going to hang out with her still as friends i guess. I hope she comes back to me later on as i would get back with her in a heartbeat. I'm starting to feel better been talking to a lot of my friends tonight and everyone is trying to cheer me up.

Just move on for now and just be her friend. Go on some dates and have a good time. If its meant to be you will get back together, if not you are going to end up with a very good friend for life. If you guys can go through a breakup and still be friends there is a connection unlike any other you will have with anyone else.
I went through some serious crap with my ex but once we decided it was over we got along great. We were friends before we got involved so why not? We stayed at our apartment together like a month after we figured out it was over. Our friends and neighbors couldn't believe we were getting divorced because we were getting along so well. Fortunatly we were both smart enough to figure out the reason we were getting along so well was the pressure was off and there was light at the end of the tunnel. About a year and a half later we considered getting back together but it was obvious we were headed in very different directions.
Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[hypertek99]

Well it's been a few weeks and everything was getting better again and then this sunday i think i really screwed it up. So i need everyones advice again. Ok let me update you guys on the past couple of weeks. So on Valentine's Day Mr. ed (the other guy she is seeing) didn't get her anything for Valentine's and she was bitching and complaining at work about it and i got my friend to deliver roses and chocolates to her late at night while she was at work. She loved them and kepted calling me but i ignored her calls and she blew up my phone. Well i finally answered my phone and she asked me why i didn't answer, i told her i was busy. But it sounded like she was worried. She told me she loved the roses and chocolates and that mr.ed didn't get her anything. So after that things were rocky we would hang out a few days and we pretty much talk to each other every night till we go to sleep. But remember she is still seeing mr.ed but squeezing me in too and she won't tell mr. ed that we are hanging out. I hate this game cuz if i'm happy she's sad or mad and if she's happy i'm sad or mad. I even avoided her phone calls for like 3 days and she kept calling and calling and when i answered she was crying and told me she cannot not talk to me. And i was like i thought you were over me and she was like well i said it but i didn't mean it. So we just continue to hang out and talk and she would be like come over to my place and hang out but only as friends so when i do go over there we watch tv and chat then she would be all over me trying to make out and stuff. I don't want her to think i'm over there for only one reason. I love her so much. Anyways let's fastward to this past sunday where i made the big mistake.
Ok so sunday she comes over to hang out and we are both happy and i bought up if she was still going to vegas with me for my sister's wedding cuz it's going to be a huge wedding and we are staying at the Venetian Hotel. She was like i don't know if i'm still invited and i told her yeah you are i want you to go with me. So she says yes. Then later on that night she calls back and says mr. ed says i can't go to vega and i was really pissed. I was like what the #$@# now he's controlling you??? and you guys aren't even serious yet. Then i said i'm tired of this game i don't think we should ever talk again and hung up. Then later that night i remembered mr. ed's aim screenname so i got on and told him everything on how she and i still hang out pretty much everyday after he leaves and we talk to each other till we fall asleep. And he was like i thought you guys are just friends now so you need to leave her alone and move on and i was like last time i checked friends don't make out and stuff. So i was going to let her be for a few days and then i decided to call her and now her number is changed. I'm so sad. Do you think she's mad cuz i told ed? So i wrote her a note and put it on her door saying i now realize that if you want to see other people i can't stop you and i just need a few weeks or month to get over you and ed together. I told her that i would really love to stay friends as i cannot not talk to her either. I told her she doesn't have to call me since she changed her number but if she can at least e-mail me letting me know something. But no e-mail yet. What should i do??? All i want now is to be friends with her and be able to talk to her on the phone. It would be best if we don't see each other or hang out. So ladies i need your opinions do you think she will ever call me or is she so mad that she will never talk to me again???

 

[1journeyman]

Originally Posted by Hypertek99
http:///forum/post/2493664
.... I told her she doesn't have to call me since she changed her number but if she can at least e-mail me letting me know something. But no e-mail yet. What should i do??? All i want now is to be friends with her and be able to talk to her on the phone. It would be best if we don't see each other or hang out. So ladies i need your opinions do you think she will ever call me or is she so mad that she will never talk to me again???
You played games, betrayed her trust, and now are asking the ladies if they think she is mad? From one guy to another I can safetly say "What the heck? Ya, she's mad. She's hurt, she's betrayed, etc.". You want to be friends with her? I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies man.
Early on people, including myself, said this break up was over way more than an alarm clock. This post proved that in dramatic fashion.
Hyper, you need to walk away from this. Far away... for a man 28 years old this was not intelligent or rational behavior. You need to take a break from dating until you can get whatever issues you have going on under control.
Good luck

 

[spiderwoman]

Trust me, you don't want to know how I'd react in her shoes.

 

[scotts]

DUDE!! in your last post above you say you just want to be frineds with her, now you say you are selling your tank and getting out of the hobby to get back the love of your life. Well you really blew it this weekend. As in, it is dead, muerto, finished.......
Basically going behind her back to talk to Mr. Ed was really the killer. Changing her phone number and probably her e-mail address is telling you that she does not want to talk to you. I think if you try to contact her, expecially if you try to win her back which means you are really going to be pursuing her, that could be considered stalking in a court of law. I mean you are already a bad break up in her life, no reason to push it so psycho guy as well.

 

[crashbandicoot]

I agree with scotts and journey . Its time to let it go and move on . I will say it again , You need to fix who you are and the issues you have before you continue to date .

 

[whitey]

Someone make cliff notes for this thread.
Oh, and my buddy wants your ex girlfriend's number.
Thanks.

 

[hypertek99]

Haha thanks for all the comments. I'm just going to leave her alone hopefully she will call me oneday. I'll let you guys know if she does.