Trouble Makers on The Bessage Boards

[ophiura]

Hey everyone,
We do try and keep the board semi- peaceful

but things do slip through. I just went back through some stuff while I was out and whoa, crazy!!
Few things to keep in mind.
1) As mentioned, tone is often very difficult to get across in a thread. Always keep an open mind. Try to use smilies when possible

2) Name calling is pretty obvious

. Report it. It is not welcome but we can't always catch it all and rely on you guys to help.
3) DO NOT ESCALATE. If you think someone may have been rude, well simply say "I disagree" or just ignore it and move on. SO many of the issues are the result of an escalation.
4) Understand that people here believe that you DON"T need to make the same mistakes they made. So they are often emphatic about certain ideas. They really really have passion - respect that and ideas/opinions. If you like it, take it. If not, consider it and move on. Don't start a mud flinging session.
5) I agree that people often want to hear what they want to hear. If people do not respond to your question (famous example: "my water is perfect" without any numbers) just leave the thread. You can't help. Maybe say, well, we can't help anymore. But otherwise...if they think they are right, they are not open to answers.
6) Don't get annoyed when people disagree with you.
7) Consider your tone - reread your post....do you sound like you are enjoying an animal suffering? Do you sound like you really don't care about animals? These will get people going and maybe you don't need to contribute here. Just a suggestion. These sorts of people are considered "Trolls" IMO.
8) Consider your writing style. Is it, frankly, annoying? BOLD? Difficult to decipher? All get people on edge.
9) If people ask a question, answer to the best of your abilities. They are trying to help. It is not a jury trial. If water chems are great, show it!! If not, well, maybe they asked the right question. The more defensive you get in answering, the closer people feel they are to the answer, and they will keep digging.
10) CONSIDER THE SEARCH FUNCTION. Remember, sometimes people just get annoyed answering the same question over again. If you show initiative and use the information already here, so you can ask a really informed question, that will get more replies in general. The same questions tend to at best be terse answers...if they are answered at all,....and lack of answers get people annoyed as well when they don't know the reason for it.
......maybe more later, but lunch time

:cheer: :happyfish :jumping:

 

[jelezoglo]

I am very thankfull for this site because it is keeping me from making huge mistakes saving me alot of money. We are just starting and loving it. But the first time I posted asking if my fish wish list was appropriate for my 55gl, I was almost stoned to death

.lol. I was only trying to find out if it was ok because my lfs told me that I could have: 1 Koran angel, 1 longnouse butterfly, 1 yellow tang, 1 hippo tang, and 2 percs. When I posted the thread I received numerous "what are you thinking" responses. It is not that I wasn't thinking, it was just that I don't really know any better, which is the reason I am asking questions on the new hobbyists board in the first place.

. However, I did find that many of the people are very nice and really try to help. I just wish that some of the members would realize that some of us are really new to this and there is alot to learn. WOW it feels good to vent..

:hilarious

:jumping: :cheer:

 

[fishieness]

Originally Posted by ophiura
Hey everyone,
We do try and keep the board semi- peaceful

but things do slip through. I just went back through some stuff while I was out and whoa, crazy!!
Few things to keep in mind.
1) As mentioned, tone is often very difficult to get across in a thread. Always keep an open mind. Try to use smilies when possible

2) Name calling is pretty obvious

. Report it. It is not welcome but we can't always catch it all and rely on you guys to help.
3) DO NOT ESCALATE. If you think someone may have been rude, well simply say "I disagree" or just ignore it and move on. SO many of the issues are the result of an escalation.
4) Understand that people here believe that you DON"T need to make the same mistakes they made. So they are often emphatic about certain ideas. They really really have passion - respect that and ideas/opinions. If you like it, take it. If not, consider it and move on. Don't start a mud flinging session.
5) I agree that people often want to hear what they want to hear. If people do not respond to your question (famous example: "my water is perfect" without any numbers) just leave the thread. You can't help. Maybe say, well, we can't help anymore. But otherwise...if they think they are right, they are not open to answers.
6) Don't get annoyed when people disagree with you.
7) Consider your tone - reread your post....do you sound like you are enjoying an animal suffering? Do you sound like you really don't care about animals? These will get people going and maybe you don't need to contribute here. Just a suggestion. These sorts of people are considered "Trolls" IMO.
8) Consider your writing style. Is it, frankly, annoying? BOLD? Difficult to decipher? All get people on edge.
9) If people ask a question, answer to the best of your abilities. They are trying to help. It is not a jury trial. If water chems are great, show it!! If not, well, maybe they asked the right question. The more defensive you get in answering, the closer people feel they are to the answer, and they will keep digging.
10) CONSIDER THE SEARCH FUNCTION. Remember, sometimes people just get annoyed answering the same question over again. If you show initiative and use the information already here, so you can ask a really informed question, that will get more replies in general. The same questions tend to at best be terse answers...if they are answered at all,....and lack of answers get people annoyed as well when they don't know the reason for it.
......maybe more later, but lunch time

:cheer: :happyfish :jumping:

ohhhh orph. i love how passive you are. It is a rare quality these days but a great one.
I agree about tone of voice. But there are a few people on here who i have found mean, so i simply dont awnser their posts when they ask one. lol. I try to be as polite and helpful as i can. But if anyone has ever thought i was mean, please tell me. and if so, i completly appoligize

 

[ray28576]

Same with me, if anyone thinks I have been rude or anything, I completely apoligize.

 

[vanquish]

Originally Posted by moby
Yikes! That is the problem with modern society. I write for a living and nothing throughout history have we found that can convey the human emotion or condition like a well written book. Shakespeare anyone?

Right this minute I'm smiling while I write this. Can you tell? Probably not, it sounds pompous for me to lecture someone on writing. But for me this isn't meant to be arrogant, just stimulating conversation. I think we all suffer from this when we talk about something we are passionate about like aquariums, writing or in my case both.
Unfortunately some folks just like to be mean spirited. To them I think we just have to laugh and go on with our day.
Moby
Moby I thought you were a writer! every post you submit on this forum is very well written. I enjoy reading you a lot, its like a breath of fresh air sometimes, since many people seem to figure "Hey, this is the internet and informal, I'll just write the most illiterate thing possible LiKe WrItInG eVeRy OtHeR lEtTeR iN cApS or slobbering all over the keyboard with grammatical and spelling errors.” You obviously put a lot of effort and thought into your posts; I enjoy those the most.

 

[moby]

Thanks Vanquish,
When I publish my first book, I'll send you a free copy.
Or if you really want a treat, I can send you some of the safety manuals on aircraft repair procedure I've written!

REAL page turners!

Moby

 

[maxalmon]

I apologize in advance for anything I may or may not say that may or may not offend anyone

At the very least, being a member of this forum has taught me to relax and take a look at how I respond to others who may have come across as arrogant or inexperienced. I really try and "read between the lines" you know what I'm talking about, like when you can tell the person posting is 12-13yo, or has grammer problems etc...I seriously look at what they type and try to understand what the actual post is all about.
I'm high strung, set in my ways, got an opinion about everything, kinda in your face approach to life. This forum eases me into the day, it's taught me to listen, digest and then express my thoughts..... Granted there has been more than one occasion where i've wanted to pounce and shred, but what good is that :notsure:
Cheers

 

[murph]

Its unfortunate we cant run down to the LFS, go to the test kit section and find a "skin thickness" test kit. I believe that those unable to ignore rude comments from people they have never met posted on massage boards would find the results of there test would be shockingly thin. Possibly a "skin thickness buffer" will be available on a shelve next to the test kit.
Believe it or not I blame the government. Despite what you hear the bed wetting liberal news anchors tell you on TV each night, times are easy in America and have been that way for decades.
Unfortunately as each generation enjoys an easier life so to do those skins thin out. I look at some of these kids today and there "don't you disrespect me attitudes" and have to laugh at them, knowing full well they would have lasted about 5 minutes in the neighborhood I grew up in with attitudes like that.

 

[wattsupdoc]

Yes. Murph I agree. It seems as though instead of being a nation of the free, we have become a nation of the offended. It seems as though no matter how polite and caring we try to be we are innevitably going to offend someone. If trying to have a conversation with somenoe we must choose our words wisely and dance around the emotions of that person, lest they be offended, even when there was no intent to hurt, harm or offend. I see a big difference in this teen generatrion we have today. Idealism is their reality in this matter. No-one can avoid stepping on their toes, they have been hammered so hard throughout their young lifes with politically correct, idealistic and unrealistic ideas that they have no concept of realistic social interaction and the world.

 

[vanquish]

Originally Posted by moby
Thanks Vanquish,
When I publish my first book, I'll send you a free copy.
Or if you really want a treat, I can send you some of the safety manuals on aircraft repair procedure I've written!

REAL page turners!

Moby
Haha thanks that would be cool. When you finish that book you should write one on SWF :thinking:

 

[sinner's girl]

When someone asks for advice, They want responses with what they want to hear, while people are just trying to give facts
Yep, also, keep in mind, you can't see our face expressions or hear the tone, it's just type. I tend to be very matter of factly...and that may be rude. I've had a few misunderstanding, but for the most part, I'm just answering the question the best I can.
I agree that people often want to hear what they want to hear. If people do not respond to your question (famous example: "my water is perfect" without any numbers) just leave the thread. You can't help. Maybe say, well, we can't help anymore. But otherwise...if they think they are right, they are not open to answers.

10) CONSIDER THE SEARCH FUNCTION. Remember, sometimes people just get annoyed answering the same question over again. If you show initiative and use the information already here, so you can ask a really informed question, that will get more replies in general. The same questions tend to at best be terse answers...if they are answered at all,....and lack of answers get people annoyed as well when they don't know the reason for it.
I agree about searching and encourage all to search, however...sometimes too many or not enough answers come up. Try searching for tang 75gl and see what you get. If you try to be more specfic, you don't get anything. Now cycling should be an easy one.
Questions for the mods? Why isn't there a sticky about cylcing and setting up the tank on the top of this board? a basic how to guide? that way, when someone asks, we could just point them to that thread.

 

[ophiura]

There should be some good reference threads in the Archives forum. Keeping stickies here for too long tends to clog things up a bit.

 

[sinner's girl]

cool, I'll take a look and bookmark some. Thanks! :happyfish (why isn't there a happy star? I have happy stars...not fish...)

 

[ophiura]

This, as a start, links to some good background threads:
ARCHIVE THREADS

 

[sinner's girl]

well, that just cut my replies in half....page is bookmarked.