very irked

[siptang]

Those of you who don't know me, I'm of an Asian heritage and in our tradition, we take our shoes off in our house. Yesterday I had wife's co worker and her boyfriend come over for some dinner and to play some board games and such. They come and walk straight in with shoes and I had just mopped the floor yesterday so I politely requested to take their shoes off and she was like why? And said it in a small voice, that's so stupid which both me and my wife both heard. My wife saw me getting pissed intervened and said, its our culture and explained things so that even retards can understand before I said get the heck out. What is up with people these days?
Where is the respect for one and one's family and their home? Sigh.
Am I over reacting here?

 

[reefraff]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/393157/very-irked#post_3495314
Those of you who don't know me, I'm of an Asian heritage and in our tradition, we take our shoes off in our house. Yesterday I had wife's co worker and her boyfriend come over for some dinner and to play some board games and such. They come and walk straight in with shoes and I had just mopped the floor yesterday so I politely requested to take their shoes off and she was like why? And said it in a small voice, that's so stupid which both me and my wife both heard. My wife saw me getting pissed intervened and said, its our culture and explained things so that even retards can understand before I said get the heck out. What is up with people these days?
Where is the respect for one and one's family and their home? Sigh.
Am I over reacting here?
Yes. If I walked into someone's home I might not utter it out loud but I would certainly think it, assuming of course they weren't asian. I happen to be aware of the tradition but that doesn't mean everyone is. I could see being a little annoyed but its not worth getting mad over as long as they were cool about it once your wife educated them/

 

[siptang]

Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/393157/very-irked#post_3495316
Yes. If I walked into someone's home I might not utter it out loud but I would certainly think it, assuming of course they weren't asian. I happen to be aware of the tradition but that doesn't mean everyone is. I could see being a little annoyed but its not worth getting mad over as long as they were cool about it once your wife educated them/
I can understand where you are coming from. But there is a difference because you would respect my wishes and not mutter out disrespectful comment like that even if you may think it. I have many friends who are not of Asian descendant that asks for shoes off in their house simply because they don't want to bring all the dirt from outside to inside your home. Thing that bothered me was that she was so irked by something so simple and since I'm opening my house to her and her boyfriend to feed them and to show hospitality, least she can do is be respectful and respect my wishes which is for her to take off her darn shoes without showing any disrespect for me. Even after my wife explained and told her that I even mopped the floor yesterday, she made couple of smart ass comments while dinner about it too which then made me say to mop my floor if she wants to wear shoes in my house.
Whew~ still irked.

 

[bang guy]

It is common sense that if your host is not wearing shoes when they answer the door you would take yours off.

 

[2quills]

Her response would have upset me as well. Stupid is having to question why when you're a guest in someones home and you were asked to remove your shoes. I can understand her questioning it but not in a disrepectful way like that. At that point I would have offered her some dog food for supper.

 

[snakeblitz33]

I don't like shoes in my house. I'm the one that does all of the cleaning, and I always take my shoes off at the entrance and have my house slippers right there so that I won't track dirt in the house. I think it is also common sense that if your host doesn't wear shoes in the house ... answers the door without shoes, that you should also take them off - or at least understand why and not make a big deal of it. I don't think of it as just an Asian thing - it's a common sense thing.
Don't get so mad about it though. Some people aren't progressed mentally as they should be and don't know that their actions affect people other than themselves. Freud would have explained it as not getting past the "anal" stage of development. (IE they're @ssholes.)

 

[snakeblitz33]

As a side note...
*Siptang don't like no back talk. Back talk gets Back hand.* (In Mr. T voice)
Just don't turn green and start tearing up Florida - Hurricanes don't need any help. lol

 

[bionicarm]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/393157/very-irked#post_3495331
I can understand where you are coming from. But there is a difference because you would respect my wishes and not mutter out disrespectful comment like that even if you may think it. I have many friends who are not of Asian descendant that asks for shoes off in their house simply because they don't want to bring all the dirt from outside to inside your home. Thing that bothered me was that she was so irked by something so simple and since I'm opening my house to her and her boyfriend to feed them and to show hospitality, least she can do is be respectful and respect my wishes which is for her to take off her darn shoes without showing any disrespect for me. Even after my wife explained and told her that I even mopped the floor yesterday, she made couple of smart ass comments while dinner about it too which then made me say to mop my floor if she wants to wear shoes in my house.
Whew~ still irked.
Was she wearing shoes that required socks, or did she have bare feet? If it's the latter, then she may have not wanted to walk around on your floor bare-footed, worrying about stepping on or in something. You can have a floor clean enough to eat on, but that doesn't mean you picked up everything. Also, maybe she has a toe fungus or some unsitely toenails she didn't want you looking at. Some other foot deformity. If you don't want people walking on your floor with shoes, do you provide houseslippers or other clean shoes they can wear while in your home?

 

[deejeff442]

my best friend is from thialand he wears his sneakers in the house.lol just sayin.but people should always respect where they are.

 

[2quills]

I think the key issue here is that she insulted thier customs when she said thats stupid. When shes a guest.

 

[siptang]

Corey - yea, I really didn't see the need for her to be rude to me.
She had socks lol. Toe fungus hahaha
No mr t here hahaha.
Night went on as planned. She won't be coming back soon though.
Everyone is different I understand and have different thought process. Seriously though people need to learn how to respect other people.

 

[bionicarm]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/393157/very-irked#post_3495365
Corey - yea, I really didn't see the need for her to be rude to me.
She had socks lol. Toe fungus hahaha
No mr t here hahaha.
Night went on as planned. She won't be coming back soon though.
Everyone is different I understand and have different thought process. Seriously though people need to learn how to respect other people.
She shouldn't have made rude comments or complained about it by any means. Maybe she was worried about getting the bottom of her socks dirty.

 

[reefraff]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/393157/very-irked#post_3495331
I can understand where you are coming from. But there is a difference because you would respect my wishes and not mutter out disrespectful comment like that even if you may think it. I have many friends who are not of Asian descendant that asks for shoes off in their house simply because they don't want to bring all the dirt from outside to inside your home. Thing that bothered me was that she was so irked by something so simple and since I'm opening my house to her and her boyfriend to feed them and to show hospitality, least she can do is be respectful and respect my wishes which is for her to take off her darn shoes without showing any disrespect for me. Even after my wife explained and told her that I even mopped the floor yesterday, she made couple of smart ass comments while dinner about it too which then made me say to mop my floor if she wants to wear shoes in my house.
Whew~ still irked.
You know what, I missed the part where she said it was stupid. My bad. You should have thrown them out. Seriously but in the long run perhaps your lovely wife helped educate the ignorant

 

[reefraff]

If it wasn't expected when in public I would never wear shoes. I get a lot of years use out of a pair considering my size. That's cause I never wear them LOL!

 

[siptang]

lol it's all good buddy.
I hope so too. She won't be coming any time soon though even her boyfriend was telling her to shut up.

 

[deejeff442]

my friend from thailand and seems his whole family always wear sandles open toe. he bought the land next to mine and he walks around in the 2 foot grass with them on and shorts. well not no more lol.he and his friends were putting up fence and i asked them if they ever heard a chiggers .lol yep the next day they were all bit to hell.

 

[beth]

She shouldn't have made the rude comment but I would not want to take my shoes off in a causal friend's home either. The comment may have blurted out because she was feeling very uncomfortable. Sip, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. In the US folks will have floor mats, even on both sides of the door to deal with dirt on shoes. Believe me, a lot of people not accustomed to this custom would be uncomfortable walking around barefooted in someone' else's home. They might feel very odd, and really not want to do it and even prefer to leave rather then removing their shoes. As bionic said, there are perceived hazards that people have about walking around barefooted. And some may feel that walking barefoot is way too personal a thing to be doing at an acquittance's home.
At the end, I'd say that if you are going to have guests over, the burden is on the host to try and accommodate the comfort of the guests, not the other way around.

 

[siptang]

That's a different perspect beth. I didn't think of it in thay way.

 

[2quills]

Well, perhaps for future reference you just let your guests know ahead of time that it's a custom of yours so that way they know what they're getting into before they come over so that they can decide if they want to come or not.
When I was a kid, going over to grandma's house. If we didn't take our shoes off at the door, we were in big trouble. It wasn't that it was their custom, they just had really nice carpet and didn't want people wearing shoes on it.
Sip, if I ever come over to your house, I'll make sure that I wear clean socks. Just for you, bud.

 

[siptang]

hahaha thanks Corey.