When do you step in?

juice_1080

juice_1080

Member
So tonight I went out to the bars with my friend and his girlfriend. On the way back she got really mad at him because she was drunk and he ended up pushing her into the snow and she got mad. About 5 minutes later after she calmed down she started back at him and he pushed her to the ground.
Now I am completely against violence to women but the guy is my best friend. What would you guys do in this situation? I just chose to let it be even though I wasn't very happy about the situation.
BTW...This guy is normally the most relaxed guy in the world. His girlfriend was seriously just being a total B**** to him. I just feel as though I should talk to him tomorrow and tell him that what he did was wrong.
Keep in mind that this is my best friend and I do not want to ruin or friendship.
 
lawman

lawman

Member
*Quote*BTW...This guy is normally the most relaxed guy in the world. His girlfriend was seriously just being a total B**** to him. I just feel as though I should talk to him tomorrow and tell him that what he did was wrong."
Sounds to me like your definitely the most level headed of the group and I commend you for wanting to do something. I would suggest getting them both together and explain to them what an uncomfortable position they put you in. You may also want to tell them that if EITHER of them have a problem acting civil after drinking that you would prefer to hang with them on occasions where alcohol isn't involved. Just my 2 cents.

Tom
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
My theory is any woman so stupid that she hits a man (hits, not hits back) has whatever she gets back coming to her. If she layed hands on him pushing her down is no big deal. If she was just being a total shebeastie megahun then he shouldn't touch her. If that was the case talk to him sans alcohol and just explain he's looking to spend a night in the grey bar if they can't keep it together as a couple when they are drinking. If thats the case they shouldn't be together in the first place.
 
renogaw

renogaw

Active Member
IMO, if she's hitting him HARD, then by all means he has the right to defend himself, and it's commendable that he pushed her away (and into something soft hopefully) instead of hitting back.
that being said, everyone else is right so far. i would talk to your friend, and depending on how comfey you are with his girlfriend, to her as well. tell them that it's not fun being around angry drunks.
 
scotts

scotts

Active Member
First off Juice never said that she hit him, so no need to go down that road, yet.
Juice if it bothers you enough to ask people here if you should talk to him, then it does bother you enough to talk to him about it. I don't think you need to make it a big sit down with the both of them and discuss it thing. This will turn it into a huge ordeal. I think sometime when you two are hanging out just tell him "You know that was not cool pushing "Jessica" down." He might say something and if he doesn't then you can say "It really made me uncofortable and put me in a bad spot" Then you are done. You have said what you wanted to say and got your point across and you two are still cool.
 
juice_1080

juice_1080

Member
Thanks everyone, I don't care if a woman puts you in the hospital, I still don't think you should hit back. You just grab their arms or whatever so they can't hit anymore.
He already said he was sorry that I had to be put in such an uncomfortable position as all that was going on.
I have never seen them even mad at each other before. She just got really mad that he was talking to another person (a woman) that she had never met before (even though he's know them for a while) and thought he was trying to cheat on her.
 
dmcrete

dmcrete

Member
OK JUICE,,
Heres what you do
call
1 800 DR PHIL,
HE Knows what to do
i still think you ought to change your avatar,, you look peed off!!!!!!!!!!!
 
t316

t316

Active Member
Agree with Juice...don't care what the circumstances are, you don't lay your hands on a female. There are many other ways to walk away from the situation, but alcohol may have been clouding his judgement. Sounds like the guy knew he was wrong, since he has already apologized, but a small comment soon about it being uncomfortable would seal the deal and let them both know how you feel.
 
juice_1080

juice_1080

Member
Originally Posted by dmcrete
OK JUICE,,
Heres what you do
call
1 800 DR PHIL,
HE Knows what to do
i still think you ought to change your avatar,, you look peed off!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy now?
 
juice_1080

juice_1080

Member
Originally Posted by Krista921
juice sounds like he'd be a good hubby
hmmmm
hahahha
Thanks, Too bad I will never get married.
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
My first wife tried to kick my butt twice. We're talking slugging and kicking for the "sweet spot", not slapping or something. Initially I just turned around and walked out of the apartment with her slugging me in the back all the way out. Once we got outside she got all appologetic and bagged me to come back inside. We went back inside where she proceeding to attack me again. Never occured to me to hit her. I am 6'5" and was able to restrain her so it wasn't a big issue but what if we had been closer in size? I obviously didn't have the heart to hit her back but the bruises on my back were she was slugging me as I was walking out says I had the right. That time she was drunk and it never even entered into my mind to hit her. She tried it a few days later stone cold sober and I got to admit I almost popped her. Glad I didn't but it would have been justified.
One thing I will say for the experience, it gives you an appreciation for what a battered woman goes through. There is no way I had to worry about her seriously injuring or killing me but having someone your in love with beating on you is still a traumatic experience. Add to that the fear of being injured or killed, I can't imagine.
 
juice_1080

juice_1080

Member
Originally Posted by Krista921
why i bet it aint so bad
I don't believe in marriage. I feel that people can live together and be just as happy without having to go through the whole marriage ritual. Plus the average marriage these days doesn't last very long. People get to fixated on it and jump in too quickly without knowing what they are doing.
 
lovethesea

lovethesea

Active Member
you may not believe in marriage....but most do. So finding someone that has your same thoughts might be....well....difficult. Marriage is a commitment/hard work, almost as hard as parententing and there is the glitch for you. The "average" marriage may be short, but if they all go into it with the idea of an easy out.....well.....I guess they will marry??? !!! or.....opt for the easy ou?.
And hopefully your friend will realize that his GF is a HEAVY social drinker. This can lead to worse behavior in the future. He will become increasingly hostile to her bad behvavior and may possibly dump her.? Maybe just tell him how it looks in public....."his fault or not". Heavy drinking can bring out the worst in some.
 
m0nk

m0nk

Active Member
Originally Posted by juice_1080
I don't believe in marriage. I feel that people can live together and be just as happy without having to go through the whole marriage ritual. Plus the average marriage these days doesn't last very long. People get to fixated on it and jump in too quickly without knowing what they are doing.

That's about all I'm going to add ...
 
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