Building my 56 gallon Column reef tank
- Thread starter monsinour
- Start date
meowzer
Moderator
Well I have never heard of a blue leather anyway
I have been waiting for some blue zoanthids to come in stock forever
http://www.***************.com/images/products/Corals/thumbs/Blue_Zoa_th.jpg
ALSO...my blue ricordia is not that blue either
I have been waiting for some blue zoanthids to come in stock forever
http://www.***************.com/images/products/Corals/thumbs/Blue_Zoa_th.jpg
ALSO...my blue ricordia is not that blue either
monsinour
Active Member
the blue zoas are to arrive next week at the LFS so I have my fingers crossed for that.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
meowzer
Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341131
the blue zoas are to arrive next week at the LFS so I have my fingers crossed for that.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
WOMEN!!! LOL.....this is one of my blue rics....it's in the 225G under 14K metal halides and T5's
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341131
the blue zoas are to arrive next week at the LFS so I have my fingers crossed for that.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
WOMEN!!! LOL.....this is one of my blue rics....it's in the 225G under 14K metal halides and T5's
acrylic51
Active Member
What kind of lighting do you have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341127
it seems that the leather isn't blue enough nor pretty enough for my wife. When she heard how much it was, she told me to take it back. I love my wife..
Did you take it back?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341131
the blue zoas are to arrive next week at the LFS so I have my fingers crossed for that.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
I wanna see more pics!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341173
I forgot to take more pics this evening, I will have to do it tomorrow after the wrapping paper tornado has cleared out of the house.
And no, not all women are like that. I happen to have a rare woman who does just about everything perfectly.
Very nice looking Meowzer....
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341133
WOMEN!!! LOL.....this is one of my blue rics....it's in the 225G under 14K metal halides and T5's
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341127
it seems that the leather isn't blue enough nor pretty enough for my wife. When she heard how much it was, she told me to take it back. I love my wife..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341131
the blue zoas are to arrive next week at the LFS so I have my fingers crossed for that.
What really has me pissed off is that I went out of my way attempting to find something blue to put into the tank for her and these 2 corals were the best things I could find at the LFS. I know that she is having a hard day, but come on.
I wanna see more pics!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsinour http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341173
I forgot to take more pics this evening, I will have to do it tomorrow after the wrapping paper tornado has cleared out of the house.
And no, not all women are like that. I happen to have a rare woman who does just about everything perfectly.
Very nice looking Meowzer....
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341133
WOMEN!!! LOL.....this is one of my blue rics....it's in the 225G under 14K metal halides and T5's
acrylic51
Active Member
The blue leathers are neat....You don't see a lot of them in the market, but when you do it will catch your eyes; well at least when I have seen them I look a few times....
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341129
Well I have never heard of a blue leather anyway
I have been waiting for some blue zoanthids to come in stock forever
http://www.***************.com/images/products/Corals/thumbs/Blue_Zoa_th.jpg
ALSO...my blue ricordia is not that blue either
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341129
Well I have never heard of a blue leather anyway
I have been waiting for some blue zoanthids to come in stock forever
http://www.***************.com/images/products/Corals/thumbs/Blue_Zoa_th.jpg
ALSO...my blue ricordia is not that blue either
mylady
Member
I am so sorry that I mentioned wanting something blue in the tank! And where do people get the idea to name any of this stuff blue anything? because Ugly ash gray ricrodia wouldn't sell as well? Or snot green leathers? Come on. I don't want anything more attempting to be blue going into the tank. It's a huge waste of money. Sorry, but when our mortgage is coming due and I'm not sure how we're going to pay it, finding out he paid $50 for some weird snot green looking piece of coral does not make me the least bit happy. I appreciate the effort, I know he's trying to make me happy, but when you see it at the store and see it isn't blue, leave it there! And even if it was blue and a pretty piece at the price he paid I'd STILL make him take it back. but we can't now as it's all flopped over and turning white and pretty much looks like it's going to die. I look at the tank now and just see a huge financial black hole sucking money.
flower
Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341305
I am so sorry that I mentioned wanting something blue in the tank! And where do people get the idea to name any of this stuff blue anything? because Ugly ash gray ricrodia wouldn't sell as well? Or snot green leathers? Come on. I don't want anything more attempting to be blue going into the tank. It's a huge waste of money. Sorry, but when our mortgage is coming due and I'm not sure how we're going to pay it, finding out he paid $50 for some weird snot green looking piece of coral does not make me the least bit happy. I appreciate the effort, I know he's trying to make me happy, but when you see it at the store and see it isn't blue, leave it there! And even if it was blue and a pretty piece at the price he paid I'd STILL make him take it back. but we can't now as it's all flopped over and turning white and pretty much looks like it's going to die. I look at the tank now and just see a huge financial black hole sucking money.
A lady wrote in to Dear Abby once, complaining about her husband’s shave hair in the sink, every morning she had to clean it up, and was tired of it. Another lady wrote in and said she would gladly clean some shave mess from the sink, her beloved died the weekend before.
So take it from someone who just buried their old man of 34 years…snot green coral isn’t so bad. My man didn’t want anything that didn’t flow in the current in the tank. It was a constant source of contention. I mean come on, how much frog spawn, hammer coral and Xenia can you have..I wanted some reds and blues..some color besides GREEN or GREY.
As for paying the mortgage…understandable, The black hole sucking money is another name for saltwater fish tanks. The only solution is to budget what can spent on the tank each month. If the money isn’t enough to buy something, save until it is and get what you want. Just be wise and don’t belittle his choices. Maybe since he made this purchase, you can make the next (after research)
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341305
I am so sorry that I mentioned wanting something blue in the tank! And where do people get the idea to name any of this stuff blue anything? because Ugly ash gray ricrodia wouldn't sell as well? Or snot green leathers? Come on. I don't want anything more attempting to be blue going into the tank. It's a huge waste of money. Sorry, but when our mortgage is coming due and I'm not sure how we're going to pay it, finding out he paid $50 for some weird snot green looking piece of coral does not make me the least bit happy. I appreciate the effort, I know he's trying to make me happy, but when you see it at the store and see it isn't blue, leave it there! And even if it was blue and a pretty piece at the price he paid I'd STILL make him take it back. but we can't now as it's all flopped over and turning white and pretty much looks like it's going to die. I look at the tank now and just see a huge financial black hole sucking money.
A lady wrote in to Dear Abby once, complaining about her husband’s shave hair in the sink, every morning she had to clean it up, and was tired of it. Another lady wrote in and said she would gladly clean some shave mess from the sink, her beloved died the weekend before.
So take it from someone who just buried their old man of 34 years…snot green coral isn’t so bad. My man didn’t want anything that didn’t flow in the current in the tank. It was a constant source of contention. I mean come on, how much frog spawn, hammer coral and Xenia can you have..I wanted some reds and blues..some color besides GREEN or GREY.
As for paying the mortgage…understandable, The black hole sucking money is another name for saltwater fish tanks. The only solution is to budget what can spent on the tank each month. If the money isn’t enough to buy something, save until it is and get what you want. Just be wise and don’t belittle his choices. Maybe since he made this purchase, you can make the next (after research)
mylady
Member
You have to udnerstand. It's not so much he's buying this coral just for me, he's buying coral because he wants coral and thinks if it's blue and I like it I won't freak over the price. You also have to understand, he has had no luck finding a job and it's been over 6 months and I am killing myself trying to work as much as I can, I may even be starting a second job soon. So when I hear he has just spent $50 on this coral because I wanted blue, and it is obvioulsy not anything blue anyway, yeah it ticks me off. And I am no stranger to loss, but I also know you can't just let everything slide because one day they won't be here anymore either. And odds are, with my health problems, I'll be the one to go first. I don't like being the one to always have to say no, I don't like him to be disappointed or unhappy which is the whole reason we have the tank in the first place, but this kind of thing peeves me to no end. Which is why I regret ever saying anything about having something blue in the tank because I know how he is. He hears something that will help him get what he wants and runs with it and then tells me it's for me. I mentioned while looking at the cool extras that came on DVD's years ago it would be cool to have one. He then was determined to get a DVD player because I had made the off handed comment, even though I told him NUMEROUS times not to spend the $400 (the going rate at the time) for something I really didn't want all that much. Of course Christmas morning, what did I get? And it wasn't because he thought I had to have one, it was because he really wanted one and I made the mistake of opening my mouth. I know my husband, I know how his mind works and I should have thought about it before I said anything. He's taken my "request" for something blue as a green light to go spend tons of money on new things in the tank is the guise of making me happy. Now, he does try very hard to make me happy, he loves me a lot, but he also knows I am not all the into the tank, not like he is. I'll watch the fish and the stuff insdie crawling around, but it is not the attraction to me that it is to him and I would definitely never spend $50 on anything for the tank. Had I known the purple fire fish and orchid dottyback had coast so much they would have been nixed from the list if I had my way.
btldreef
Moderator
My husband can be the same way, so I completely understand what you are saying.
I've been there, and I'm a newlywed, please tell me it gets better, LOL.
I, too, am not that into zoathids, but I will say that Tubbs Blue (Blue Tubbs) zoanthids really can add a lot of "pop" to a tank. Honestly, there really isn't a whole lot of blue out there for our tanks. Sure, there's teal, green, aquamarine, slime snot blueish coloring, but a true blue is hard to come by, except for maybe a Blue Linkia starfish that you can't have in a new system. Unfortunately my hobby is also saltwater tanks, so I know how easy it is to spend money, but every now and then my husband and I still get annoyed with one another over what once of us has just spent for the tank that the other does not deem necessary. The first year or two of owning a tank can be the most trying time, and most expensive, but I do promise you, it will get better.
I've been there, and I'm a newlywed, please tell me it gets better, LOL.
I, too, am not that into zoathids, but I will say that Tubbs Blue (Blue Tubbs) zoanthids really can add a lot of "pop" to a tank. Honestly, there really isn't a whole lot of blue out there for our tanks. Sure, there's teal, green, aquamarine, slime snot blueish coloring, but a true blue is hard to come by, except for maybe a Blue Linkia starfish that you can't have in a new system. Unfortunately my hobby is also saltwater tanks, so I know how easy it is to spend money, but every now and then my husband and I still get annoyed with one another over what once of us has just spent for the tank that the other does not deem necessary. The first year or two of owning a tank can be the most trying time, and most expensive, but I do promise you, it will get better.
monsinour
Active Member
I have to say that had I known the leather was $50 I wouldnt have bought it in the first place and I have told the missus this several times.
The obvious hope is that if I find something blue that she likes, she would like the tank more. The bubble coral was her input and that is what she watches most of the time and finds interesting to study in the tank.
As far as $ goes, I have a feeling I will be opening up my own business soon as I cannot find employment in this busted arse state.
The obvious hope is that if I find something blue that she likes, she would like the tank more. The bubble coral was her input and that is what she watches most of the time and finds interesting to study in the tank.
As far as $ goes, I have a feeling I will be opening up my own business soon as I cannot find employment in this busted arse state.
flower
Well-Known Member
Around here...$60.00 is the going price for the smallest corals. I think I get a bargain at $49.99, it’s a money pit. There are always new gadgets, better stuff and cool corals that we have never seen before and must have. When we come across another tank...yes we fall right in. I was so happy to get my bosses two 30g tanks...my mom said all she could see was dollar signs saying good bye.
I will buy coral before I buy clothes or go to the beauty parlor. I pay my bills (barely) and I buy the groceries..the rest goes on the fish tanks. I do get tires for the car when I really, really need them, and my brother in law makes sure I get oil changes.
A bucket of salt to do the water changes cost $55.00 around here. It lasts two months, I dated the top of the lid when I opened it to see how long it lasts. Year to date, I have spent on this hobby...$3,671.63 Cranberry had the bright idea to keep track this year...so I know down to the penny what I have spent and on what. I also know that if I had more money...I would have spent it..the new tanks need an ATO system and maybe a chiller.....I could use some better lights..the seahorses I want cost $115.00 each and I want 4 of them.... also need to get some fake coral for hitches....you get the idea.
gill again68
Active Member
Flower, you made me laugh and I thank you.
If anyone wants a free coral they can drive over in the next week or so because my big ole Monti cap is going to have to get broken down. It hurts me that I dont have anyone to give this to and it may end up in the garbage. The LFS doesnt even want it.
If anyone wants a free coral they can drive over in the next week or so because my big ole Monti cap is going to have to get broken down. It hurts me that I dont have anyone to give this to and it may end up in the garbage. The LFS doesnt even want it.
meowzer
Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gill again68 http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341609
Flower, you made me laugh and I thank you.
If anyone wants a free coral they can drive over in the next week or so because my big ole Monti cap is going to have to get broken down. It hurts me that I dont have anyone to give this to and it may end up in the garbage. The LFS doesnt even want it.
Don't you have a club or anything? that sux......If you were closer I would take it in a heart beat.....
Originally Posted by Gill again68 http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341609
Flower, you made me laugh and I thank you.
If anyone wants a free coral they can drive over in the next week or so because my big ole Monti cap is going to have to get broken down. It hurts me that I dont have anyone to give this to and it may end up in the garbage. The LFS doesnt even want it.
Don't you have a club or anything? that sux......If you were closer I would take it in a heart beat.....
mylady
Member
Flower, I understand your passion and his, but we also have two small children and a lot of responsibilities. I am fortunate that what I am pasionate about happens to be my profession and everything I spend on it is a tax write off. We have to prioritize. The last time I bought myself new clothes was 2 years ago and I just bought myself new shoes that weren't for work for the first time since my shoes size changed when I got pregnant the second time (they never warn you that can happen) and my son is now 4 1/2. My hair salon I see more frequently to groom the owners dog than I do to get my own hair done. I've also been having problems with my health which has led to many doctors visits meaning tons of co-pays and also lots of tests, which were oh so fun. So to me, yes I get touchy over a $50 anything to go in the tank just so we can look at it. I have no problem never adding anything else to the tank either living or equipment wise and have no problem walking away from things I see at the LFS or online. Just like my husband can walk out of every pet adoption clinic without an additional dog or cat, which is good for me since I would try to take them all home if I could. I do truly understand the passion as I have it for other things, but I just see the bigger picture. Sometimes it really sucks doing what I am supposed to do vs what I want to do.
acrylic51
Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341881
Flower, I understand your passion and his, but we also have two small children and a lot of responsibilities. I am fortunate that what I am pasionate about happens to be my profession and everything I spend on it is a tax write off. We have to prioritize. The last time I bought myself new clothes was 2 years ago and I just bought myself new shoes that weren't for work for the first time since my shoes size changed when I got pregnant the second time (they never warn you that can happen) and my son is now 4 1/2. My hair salon I see more frequently to groom the owners dog than I do to get my own hair done. I've also been having problems with my health which has led to many doctors visits meaning tons of co-pays and also lots of tests, which were oh so fun. So to me, yes I get touchy over a $50 anything to go in the tank just so we can look at it. I have no problem never adding anything else to the tank either living or equipment wise and have no problem walking away from things I see at the LFS or online. Just like my husband can walk out of every pet adoption clinic without an additional dog or cat, which is good for me since I would try to take them all home if I could. I do truly understand the passion as I have it for other things, but I just see the bigger picture. Sometimes it really sucks doing what I am supposed to do vs what I want to do.
Cudos!!!!!
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341881
Flower, I understand your passion and his, but we also have two small children and a lot of responsibilities. I am fortunate that what I am pasionate about happens to be my profession and everything I spend on it is a tax write off. We have to prioritize. The last time I bought myself new clothes was 2 years ago and I just bought myself new shoes that weren't for work for the first time since my shoes size changed when I got pregnant the second time (they never warn you that can happen) and my son is now 4 1/2. My hair salon I see more frequently to groom the owners dog than I do to get my own hair done. I've also been having problems with my health which has led to many doctors visits meaning tons of co-pays and also lots of tests, which were oh so fun. So to me, yes I get touchy over a $50 anything to go in the tank just so we can look at it. I have no problem never adding anything else to the tank either living or equipment wise and have no problem walking away from things I see at the LFS or online. Just like my husband can walk out of every pet adoption clinic without an additional dog or cat, which is good for me since I would try to take them all home if I could. I do truly understand the passion as I have it for other things, but I just see the bigger picture. Sometimes it really sucks doing what I am supposed to do vs what I want to do.
flower
Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341881
Flower, I understand your passion and his, but we also have two small children and a lot of responsibilities. I am fortunate that what I am pasionate about happens to be my profession and everything I spend on it is a tax write off. We have to prioritize. The last time I bought myself new clothes was 2 years ago and I just bought myself new shoes that weren't for work for the first time since my shoes size changed when I got pregnant the second time (they never warn you that can happen) and my son is now 4 1/2. My hair salon I see more frequently to groom the owners dog than I do to get my own hair done. I've also been having problems with my health which has led to many doctors visits meaning tons of co-pays and also lots of tests, which were oh so fun. So to me, yes I get touchy over a $50 anything to go in the tank just so we can look at it. I have no problem never adding anything else to the tank either living or equipment wise and have no problem walking away from things I see at the LFS or online. Just like my husband can walk out of every pet adoption clinic without an additional dog or cat, which is good for me since I would try to take them all home if I could. I do truly understand the passion as I have it for other things, but I just see the bigger picture. Sometimes it really sucks doing what I am supposed to do vs what I want to do.
MyLady...You misunderstood what I was trying to say...I agree the saltwater tank is a money pit. I know I told your man to pay bills FIRST. Then after all the household finances are set, either save up for a fish tank goody or you buy one thing and he buy another next month. This is what I and my man did, so I offered it as advice on a possible solution.
The truth is I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong. I consider you both friends and only want you two to get along and be at peace. How you work things out is between the both of you. Money is tight for us all and I wholeheartedly agree it is no fun doing what needs to be done instead of what we would LIKE to do.
My only passion is that my friends stay my friends, so I promise to not interfere any further. I’m very sorry to have given a wrong impression creating it seems even more of a headache and butted into your private disagreement. It was not my intent and I’m very sorry.
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341881
Flower, I understand your passion and his, but we also have two small children and a lot of responsibilities. I am fortunate that what I am pasionate about happens to be my profession and everything I spend on it is a tax write off. We have to prioritize. The last time I bought myself new clothes was 2 years ago and I just bought myself new shoes that weren't for work for the first time since my shoes size changed when I got pregnant the second time (they never warn you that can happen) and my son is now 4 1/2. My hair salon I see more frequently to groom the owners dog than I do to get my own hair done. I've also been having problems with my health which has led to many doctors visits meaning tons of co-pays and also lots of tests, which were oh so fun. So to me, yes I get touchy over a $50 anything to go in the tank just so we can look at it. I have no problem never adding anything else to the tank either living or equipment wise and have no problem walking away from things I see at the LFS or online. Just like my husband can walk out of every pet adoption clinic without an additional dog or cat, which is good for me since I would try to take them all home if I could. I do truly understand the passion as I have it for other things, but I just see the bigger picture. Sometimes it really sucks doing what I am supposed to do vs what I want to do.
MyLady...You misunderstood what I was trying to say...I agree the saltwater tank is a money pit. I know I told your man to pay bills FIRST. Then after all the household finances are set, either save up for a fish tank goody or you buy one thing and he buy another next month. This is what I and my man did, so I offered it as advice on a possible solution.
The truth is I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong. I consider you both friends and only want you two to get along and be at peace. How you work things out is between the both of you. Money is tight for us all and I wholeheartedly agree it is no fun doing what needs to be done instead of what we would LIKE to do.
My only passion is that my friends stay my friends, so I promise to not interfere any further. I’m very sorry to have given a wrong impression creating it seems even more of a headache and butted into your private disagreement. It was not my intent and I’m very sorry.
spanko
Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341538
You have to udnerstand. It's not so much he's buying this coral just for me, he's buying coral because he wants coral and thinks if it's blue and I like it I won't freak over the price. You also have to understand, he has had no luck finding a job and it's been over 6 months and I am killing myself trying to work as much as I can, I may even be starting a second job soon. So when I hear he has just spent $50 on this coral because I wanted blue, and it is obvioulsy not anything blue anyway, yeah it ticks me off. And I am no stranger to loss, but I also know you can't just let everything slide because one day they won't be here anymore either. And odds are, with my health problems, I'll be the one to go first. I don't like being the one to always have to say no, I don't like him to be disappointed or unhappy which is the whole reason we have the tank in the first place, but this kind of thing peeves me to no end. Which is why I regret ever saying anything about having something blue in the tank because I know how he is. He hears something that will help him get what he wants and runs with it and then tells me it's for me. I mentioned while looking at the cool extras that came on DVD's years ago it would be cool to have one. He then was determined to get a DVD player because I had made the off handed comment, even though I told him NUMEROUS times not to spend the $400 (the going rate at the time) for something I really didn't want all that much. Of course Christmas morning, what did I get? And it wasn't because he thought I had to have one, it was because he really wanted one and I made the mistake of opening my mouth. I know my husband, I know how his mind works and I should have thought about it before I said anything. He's taken my "request" for something blue as a green light to go spend tons of money on new things in the tank is the guise of making me happy. Now, he does try very hard to make me happy, he loves me a lot, but he also knows I am not all the into the tank, not like he is. I'll watch the fish and the stuff insdie crawling around, but it is not the attraction to me that it is to him and I would definitely never spend $50 on anything for the tank. Had I known the purple fire fish and orchid dottyback had coast so much they would have been nixed from the list if I had my way.
Seems like some ground rules need to be set on the $ value that can be spent on the tank per time period (week, or month whatever). And that you both agree to those ground rules. Maybe even to go as far as one of the rules be you both have to agree to the additions. The tank and its inhabitants are a hobby, not a necessity and other things come first.
IDK not trying to tell you how to run you life or you marriage but when you open up like you did above I guess that seems to me to be an opening for me to give my opinion.
Back to our regularly scheduled thread!
Originally Posted by MyLady http:///forum/thread/380344/building-my-56-gallon-column-reef-tank/660#post_3341538
You have to udnerstand. It's not so much he's buying this coral just for me, he's buying coral because he wants coral and thinks if it's blue and I like it I won't freak over the price. You also have to understand, he has had no luck finding a job and it's been over 6 months and I am killing myself trying to work as much as I can, I may even be starting a second job soon. So when I hear he has just spent $50 on this coral because I wanted blue, and it is obvioulsy not anything blue anyway, yeah it ticks me off. And I am no stranger to loss, but I also know you can't just let everything slide because one day they won't be here anymore either. And odds are, with my health problems, I'll be the one to go first. I don't like being the one to always have to say no, I don't like him to be disappointed or unhappy which is the whole reason we have the tank in the first place, but this kind of thing peeves me to no end. Which is why I regret ever saying anything about having something blue in the tank because I know how he is. He hears something that will help him get what he wants and runs with it and then tells me it's for me. I mentioned while looking at the cool extras that came on DVD's years ago it would be cool to have one. He then was determined to get a DVD player because I had made the off handed comment, even though I told him NUMEROUS times not to spend the $400 (the going rate at the time) for something I really didn't want all that much. Of course Christmas morning, what did I get? And it wasn't because he thought I had to have one, it was because he really wanted one and I made the mistake of opening my mouth. I know my husband, I know how his mind works and I should have thought about it before I said anything. He's taken my "request" for something blue as a green light to go spend tons of money on new things in the tank is the guise of making me happy. Now, he does try very hard to make me happy, he loves me a lot, but he also knows I am not all the into the tank, not like he is. I'll watch the fish and the stuff insdie crawling around, but it is not the attraction to me that it is to him and I would definitely never spend $50 on anything for the tank. Had I known the purple fire fish and orchid dottyback had coast so much they would have been nixed from the list if I had my way.
Seems like some ground rules need to be set on the $ value that can be spent on the tank per time period (week, or month whatever). And that you both agree to those ground rules. Maybe even to go as far as one of the rules be you both have to agree to the additions. The tank and its inhabitants are a hobby, not a necessity and other things come first.
IDK not trying to tell you how to run you life or you marriage but when you open up like you did above I guess that seems to me to be an opening for me to give my opinion.
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