Chuck Norris Jokes
- Thread starter choog
- Start date
nano reefer
Active Member
A man once asked if Chuck Norris' real name was Charles. Chuck Norris didn't do anything, he just stared at him until he blew up.
nano reefer
Active Member
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
nano reefer
Active Member
Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you get the chance to look close enough, you can see the green symbols sliding down his beard.
autofreak44
Active Member
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
alright thats enough for one night... and yes they did die 2 years ago but are still funny
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
alright thats enough for one night... and yes they did die 2 years ago but are still funny
ruaround
Active Member
Originally Posted by GNorman
i hope with that; your done with this thread
why... CN jokes/facts are the greatest!!! like this little fact...
did you know chuck norris is also currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his hands... AKA his girlfriends...
i hope with that; your done with this thread
why... CN jokes/facts are the greatest!!! like this little fact...
did you know chuck norris is also currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his hands... AKA his girlfriends...
nano reefer
Active Member
Chuck norris roundhoused kicked someone so fast it broke the time-space-continuum and he got roundhouse kicked tomorrow.
grumpygils
Active Member
Chuck Norris breeds yellow tangs in a 1 gallon nano.
