Chuck Norris Jokes
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ruaround
Active Member
Originally Posted by Kevin34
One day on the set of Walker Texas Ranger a sheep died. Chuck Norris revived it by giving it a beard rub. He then gave it a roundhouse kick to the face killing it instantly just to remind everyone that what the good Chuck giveth the good Chuck taketh away.
thats not all Chuck did to the sheep... you need to tell the whole story...
Chuck Norris swims with a life jacket...
One day on the set of Walker Texas Ranger a sheep died. Chuck Norris revived it by giving it a beard rub. He then gave it a roundhouse kick to the face killing it instantly just to remind everyone that what the good Chuck giveth the good Chuck taketh away.
thats not all Chuck did to the sheep... you need to tell the whole story...
Chuck Norris swims with a life jacket...
salt monger
Member
Originally Posted by grumpygils
Chuck Norris breeds yellow tangs in a 1 gallon nano.
***ok this one was very funny***
Chuck Norris breeds yellow tangs in a 1 gallon nano.
***ok this one was very funny***
monkdaily
Member
here r a couple i didnt read. but make to laugh so......
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Once, while having -ex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Once, while having -ex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
S
saltycrab
Guest
Chuck Norris doesn't shoot a gun, bullets run from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once offered a flight on the Space Shuttle but declined because of fears it would not be able to lift his balls into orbit.
People don't laugh at Church Norris jokes because they're funny, they laugh out of fear for Chuck Norris.
The police gave up on arresting Chuck Norris for murder because he would just kick his way out of prison.
Girl Scouts sell cookies to pay off Chuck Norris.
Osama Bin Laden isn't hiding in Pakistan, he is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris mother died while giving birth to Chuck Norris, He kicked her in the heart and said "No body dies unless Chuck Norris says so". Today she is 240 years old.
Viegra was originally developed so 20 year olds wouldn't lose your girlfriends to Chuck Norris. Three women died when Chuck Norris tried the sample pack.
Chuck Norris was once offered a flight on the Space Shuttle but declined because of fears it would not be able to lift his balls into orbit.
People don't laugh at Church Norris jokes because they're funny, they laugh out of fear for Chuck Norris.
The police gave up on arresting Chuck Norris for murder because he would just kick his way out of prison.
Girl Scouts sell cookies to pay off Chuck Norris.
Osama Bin Laden isn't hiding in Pakistan, he is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris mother died while giving birth to Chuck Norris, He kicked her in the heart and said "No body dies unless Chuck Norris says so". Today she is 240 years old.
Viegra was originally developed so 20 year olds wouldn't lose your girlfriends to Chuck Norris. Three women died when Chuck Norris tried the sample pack.
beenbag497
Member
chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass....at night
chucks tears can cure cancer...too bad hes never cried
chuck norris doesnt sleep..he waits
when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris
there is no such thing as global warming...when chuck norris was cold he turned the sun up
chuck norris doesnt get frostbite he bites frost
chucks tears can cure cancer...too bad hes never cried
chuck norris doesnt sleep..he waits
when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris
there is no such thing as global warming...when chuck norris was cold he turned the sun up
chuck norris doesnt get frostbite he bites frost
crashbandicoot
Active Member
Why was walker a texas ranger ? Its the only state that big enough for his ego .
S
saltycrab
Guest
Chuck Norris doesn't run, Earths rotation increases.
Chuck Norris once got mad, no witnesses survived to tell the joke.
Chuck Norris donates blood 7 times a week, none of which is his.
Bacardi makes 151 because Chuck Norris says so.
Chuck Norris has never been able to impregnate a woman, mainly because no woman can survive --- with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a razor to shave, he douses his head in gasoline and lights himself on fire. Even after his hair is singed off, he still has a beard.
The Manhattan Project was originally trying to understand the Chuck Norris round house kick, they settled for nuclear weapons.
Kevlar was originally developed to make underwear for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got mad, no witnesses survived to tell the joke.
Chuck Norris donates blood 7 times a week, none of which is his.
Bacardi makes 151 because Chuck Norris says so.
Chuck Norris has never been able to impregnate a woman, mainly because no woman can survive --- with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a razor to shave, he douses his head in gasoline and lights himself on fire. Even after his hair is singed off, he still has a beard.
The Manhattan Project was originally trying to understand the Chuck Norris round house kick, they settled for nuclear weapons.
Kevlar was originally developed to make underwear for Chuck Norris.
nyyankeees
Member
Don't think I saw this one listed yet....
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.