Harassment in the Workplace

yearofthenick

yearofthenick

Active Member
I know I haven't posted on here in a while - It's because I got a second job at Starbucks to help pay off debt faster. Well I was working today, and I brought out 6 gallons of milk in one of those milk crates. Being 6'7" and 300 lb's it's not difficult for me to do so using only one hand....
Well I work with this one lady, Jennifer, who saw me lift these 6 gallons of milk all at once. She comes up to me shortly after and says "oooh you are so strong, let me feel your arms" and straight up like grabs my right arm, feeling up my bicep. Then she says "Can you lift me with one arm?" and full-on locks arms with me and like pulls me down. The whole thing was just really weird.
I'm happily married and have children. Jennifer knows this but doesn't care. She's been known for hitting on married customers in the past.
What should I do??? I could take it as a compliment, haha... but at the same time, someone needs to put some sense into this woman. Should I say something?
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Originally Posted by YearOfTheNick
http:///forum/post/3138858
I know I haven't posted on here in a while - It's because I got a second job at Starbucks to help pay off debt faster. Well I was working today, and I brought out 6 gallons of milk in one of those milk crates. Being 6'7" and 300 lb's it's not difficult for me to do so using only one hand....
Well I work with this one lady, Jennifer, who saw me lift these 6 gallons of milk all at once. She comes up to me shortly after and says "oooh you are so strong, let me feel your arms" and straight up like grabs my right arm, feeling up my bicep. Then she says "Can you lift me with one arm?" and full-on locks arms with me and like pulls me down. The whole thing was just really weird.
I'm happily married and have children. Jennifer knows this but doesn't care. She's been known for hitting on married customers in the past.
What should I do??? I could take it as a compliment, haha... but at the same time, someone needs to put some sense into this woman. Should I say something?

Yes, tell her you are married and please don't do that again it makes you feel uncomfortable. That should be enough to let her know where you stand, and to not try it again.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
So you have not said anything to her???
I would simply say...exactly what you just said....I am a happily married man, and I would appreciate it if you would keep your hands and comments to yourself....
then go from there....if it continues...wellllll...worry about that then
 
yearofthenick

yearofthenick

Active Member
She knows I'm married. I talk about my family all the time. She knows that I'm not available but she doesn't care.
Because it's starbucks too, there's really no tolerance for harassment issues so I worry I may get her fired if I say something.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Originally Posted by YearOfTheNick
http:///forum/post/3138868
She knows I'm married. I talk about my family all the time. She knows that I'm not available but she doesn't care.
Because it's starbucks too, there's really no tolerance for harassment issues so I worry I may get her fired if I say something.
Tell her flat out to stop!!!!!...It doesn't matter that she knows you're married apparently...IMO if you tell her "strongly" and she continues....I would make a complaint .... you gave her a chance....why should you have to deal with this....
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Oh the females fishing for compliments...
She already knows your married and untouchable.
You can look at her dead serious and ask her, out of the blue, "You know why I married my wife" and she will say why, and you reply with something like, "Cause she never acted like an easy slut when she was around men" and hope she takes the hint. If she thinks you like the attention, she will keep pushing, but if her pushing gets her insults, then she'll stop.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Originally Posted by Tizzo
http:///forum/post/3138878
Oh the females fishing for compliments...
She already knows your married and untouchable.
You can look at her dead serious and ask her, out of the blue, "You know why I married my wife" and she will say why, and you reply with something like, "Cause she never acted like an easy slut when she was around men" and hope she takes the hint. If she thinks you like the attention, she will keep pushing, but if her pushing gets her insults, then she'll stop.
that just might get him slapped....
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by meowzer
http:///forum/post/3138881
that just might get him slapped....

Why? "technically", it's not personal.
By slapping him, she's admitting to...something. So in a perfect world, she will walk away and never risk exposing that side of YOTN again.
 
yearofthenick

yearofthenick

Active Member
I think I'll ignore this one... but if it happens again, I'll confront her on the spot. If she does it a third time, I'll take it to the boss.
But I don't want to work with her sometime next week and have to bring up the situation that happened today - the last thing I want to do is show her that I've been stewing over it.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Originally Posted by YearOfTheNick
http:///forum/post/3138896
I think I'll ignore this one... but if it happens again, I'll confront her on the spot. If she does it a third time, I'll take it to the boss.
But I don't want to work with her sometime next week and have to bring up the situation that happened today - the last thing I want to do is show her that I've been stewing over it.
Sounds like a good plan....I'll be curious to see how you make out...
not literally
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Watch your tail (not her's :) ) Just make sure not to do anything that could be seen as harassment on your part. Sometime women can get very vindictive when you don't respond to their advances.
Hopefully here actions are because she knows you are off the market and she doesn't mean anything by it.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by reefraff
http:///forum/post/3138917
Hopefully here actions are because she knows you are off the market and she doesn't mean anything by it.

Ummm...no.
The actions are without a doubt because he's off the market. At first, it's cause he's "safe". Then it will turn into a challenge. She may not "want him" but she will want him to want her. I'm telling ya, I don't "like" females... but I "know" females.
Course, both sǝxǝs can be that way, I guess...
 
tangman99

tangman99

Active Member
Dude, be very very careful here. This is a serious double standard situation that can blow up in your face if you are not careful. If a womam claims sexual harrassment, they are all over it. If a man claims it, you never know. If she get po'd and lies and says you came on to her and you were the one doing the harrassing, again, it can go either way.
I think you made a good choice to overlook it at first. Good luck to you.
 
cranberry

cranberry

Active Member
Originally Posted by Tizzo
http:///forum/post/3138973
Ummm...no.
The actions are without a doubt because he's off the market.
You don't know that. Sure it's a possibility... but it's certainly not a fact.
We have 4 big boys in our unit. We are always "hanging on their arm" (not literally). I'm not saying what this chick is doing is right, but you can't assume she means it in an inappropriate way. I'd be mortified if one of the boys thought I was coming on to them or if I was making them uncomfortable.
Sure we have to protect ourselves, but we don't have to think the worse of everyone else to do so.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by Cranberry
http:///forum/post/3139046
You don't know that. Sure it's a possibility... but it's certainly not a fact.
We have 4 big boys in our unit. We are always "hanging on their arm" (not literally). I'm not saying what this chick is doing is right, but you can't assume she means it in an inappropriate way. I'd be mortified if one of the boys thought I was coming on to them or if I was making them uncomfortable.
Sure we have to protect ourselves, but we don't have to think the worse of everyone else to do so.

Based on his post...
She comes up to me shortly after and says "oooh you are so strong, let me feel your arms" and straight up like grabs my right arm, feeling up my bicep. Then she says "Can you lift me with one arm?" and full-on locks arms with me and like pulls me down. The whole thing was just really weird.
and...
She's been known for hitting on married customers in the past.

It appears that this chick is acting differently than you do with your co workers.
A guy knows if a chick is flirting or just being nice.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by Cranberry
http:///forum/post/3139083
Now you're telling me I act differently? Why would you assume I do?
Because you said
We have 4 big boys in our unit. We are always "hanging on their arm" (not literally).
.... I'd be mortified if one of the boys thought I was coming on to them or if I was making them uncomfortable.
YOTN said it was uncomfortable, and she has a history.
Basically, she's flirting with him.
By what you described, your not flirting, your just being friends with the guys. That is established from a friend type relationship.
That, is acting differently. Heck, I can say whatever I want to the guys I work with and I know without a doubt that they wouldn't be uncomfortable, no matter my joking innuendo. But if another chick came in and said the same thing, not knowing these guys for very long...well, it's different.
 
cranberry

cranberry

Active Member
Okay, I can't physically hang on their arm. They are my height.
We had a new guy come in. Worked there years ago, but I never met him. I treated him like one of the boys. It crossed my mind for a sec. But, I'm just saying let's not automatically assume she's this nasty girl. I have a sailor personality myself and can flirt like a big dog but I mean nothing by it. I flirt with girls too. And I'm not into girls (just adding).... well, except Anjelina Jolie.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by Cranberry
http:///forum/post/3139100
Okay, I can't physically hang on their arm. They are my height.
We had a new guy come in. Worked there years ago, but I never met him. I treated him like one of the boys. It crossed my mind for a sec. But, I'm just saying let's not automatically assume she's this nasty girl. I have a sailor personality myself and can flirt like a big dog but I mean nothing by it. I flirt with girls too. And I'm not into girls (just adding).... well, except Anjelina Jolie.

Just for clarification. I don't assume she's nasty. I assume she's inappropriate.
After a guy knows where you stand you can say anything, but if he thinks its awkward, then he doesn't know where you stand.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Originally Posted by YearOfTheNick
http:///forum/post/3138858
I know I haven't posted on here in a while - It's because I got a second job at Starbucks to help pay off debt faster. Well I was working today, and I brought out 6 gallons of milk in one of those milk crates. Being 6'7" and 300 lb's it's not difficult for me to do so using only one hand....
Well I work with this one lady, Jennifer, who saw me lift these 6 gallons of milk all at once. She comes up to me shortly after and says "oooh you are so strong, let me feel your arms" and straight up like grabs my right arm, feeling up my bicep. Then she says "Can you lift me with one arm?" and full-on locks arms with me and like pulls me down. The whole thing was just really weird.
I'm happily married and have children. Jennifer knows this but doesn't care. She's been known for hitting on married customers in the past.
What should I do??? I could take it as a compliment, haha... but at the same time, someone needs to put some sense into this woman. Should I say something?
Dude, be a man, and ignore it. There is a massive double standard. But in my opinion, woman have a tough time in the work place, on one hand they have a chip on their shoulders, because they are trying to prove their place. On the other hand, if they incorporate well into the club, lines will be crossed.
That being said, at work when girls have flirted with me, I just shake my head, and look at them like they are absolutely insane. And remind them about personal space. Then most importantly,
I don't brush my teeth or shower for a couple days. That usually wards them off...
 
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