Hard Day :(
- Thread starter jennythebugg
- Start date
bang guy
Moderator
Originally Posted by ReefForBrains
http:///forum/post/2847363
We all do. Only now I have to pick on Bang Guy alone....
I'll miss being picked on. Only good people are missed.
http:///forum/post/2847363
We all do. Only now I have to pick on Bang Guy alone....
I'll miss being picked on. Only good people are missed.
Originally Posted by reefraff
http:///forum/post/2847491
Having been strapped on to a gurney and loaded in the back of an ambulance on several occasions I can guarantee you your guy's final moments were much better spent with you in the car. It was his time. The ambulance ride likely would have made no difference other than you not being with him when he left.
I agree with this one. He may have passed even before the ambulance got there and then you may have felt guilty that you hadn't driven him.
Loved ones always beat themselves up with "what-ifs". Its a part of the grieving process. He had you during this time, and that is so much more than many people who die alone in hospitals or nursing homes and even at home. You gave him the best, and what he wanted. Be at peace with that.
http:///forum/post/2847491
Having been strapped on to a gurney and loaded in the back of an ambulance on several occasions I can guarantee you your guy's final moments were much better spent with you in the car. It was his time. The ambulance ride likely would have made no difference other than you not being with him when he left.
I agree with this one. He may have passed even before the ambulance got there and then you may have felt guilty that you hadn't driven him.
Loved ones always beat themselves up with "what-ifs". Its a part of the grieving process. He had you during this time, and that is so much more than many people who die alone in hospitals or nursing homes and even at home. You gave him the best, and what he wanted. Be at peace with that.
1journeyman
Active Member
At first I got sad as I read through this thread tonight.. Then the bickering began and I got moderately ticked off. Then I started laughing...
I imagined what Tobin might have said in response to some of the posts and he made me smile.
I'll never forget when I read the post that Tobin had left us all. Not near enough people go through life impacting the people around them; Tobin went far beyond and impacted so many that never even spoke to him.
Jenny, Tobin passed away next to you, but not in your home. I think that is exactly how he planned it. He loved you in a way frankly few people are capable of loving.
You were, and are blessed Jenny. Don't blame yourself for anything. If for no other reason imagine how pissed off and crazy Tobin is when he reads this thread and hears you blaming yourself
Thanks for reminding us of the anniversary and sharing Jenny.
I imagined what Tobin might have said in response to some of the posts and he made me smile.
I'll never forget when I read the post that Tobin had left us all. Not near enough people go through life impacting the people around them; Tobin went far beyond and impacted so many that never even spoke to him.
Jenny, Tobin passed away next to you, but not in your home. I think that is exactly how he planned it. He loved you in a way frankly few people are capable of loving.
You were, and are blessed Jenny. Don't blame yourself for anything. If for no other reason imagine how pissed off and crazy Tobin is when he reads this thread and hears you blaming yourself
Thanks for reminding us of the anniversary and sharing Jenny.
lovethesea
Active Member
After Tobin passed I told you we would be walking with you on this journey.
That is what people do for others when there is reallly nothing that can be done. Most people don't get someone like Tobin even once in their lifetime, you both needed each other. I agree with the post above that stated that he did not want to be anywhere but in the car with you, just you.....what a gift, a peaceful exit with the one you love.
That is what people do for others when there is reallly nothing that can be done. Most people don't get someone like Tobin even once in their lifetime, you both needed each other. I agree with the post above that stated that he did not want to be anywhere but in the car with you, just you.....what a gift, a peaceful exit with the one you love.
el guapo
Active Member
Tobin was a gift to you jenny , But you were also a gift to him . When I leave this earth I hope I have found the same peace and love that Tobin had when he left . I hope that I have made the kind of mark on the world that he did .
While I can not know the happiness he gave to his friends ,I can know the happiness that his friends give to me .
While I can not know the happiness he gave to his friends ,I can know the happiness that his friends give to me .
darthtang aw
Active Member
i did not read the thread. but i remember tobin well. mainly for his political views as he was very conservative.and he lweways spke his mind. he was probably one the strongest people i ever had the privilege of encountering on the internet. i am still humbled that jenny chose to use the poem i presented at this time last year that we used at my grandfathers passing. so i raise a drink to tobin and his long and wonderful memory. i am also typing this way in honor of him as he always typed like this.
r.i.p. tobin.
a great man is missed
r.i.p. tobin.
a great man is missed
hammerhed7
Active Member
Jenny, It's hard to believe it was a year ago, the only thing I can tell you is the second year is slightly better than the first. My father died of cancer in 98, and as time goes by you tend to focus on the good times rather than the bad, but it will always seem that void will never be filled. Eventually you will look back with nothing but happy thoughts.
stay strong
stay strong
tne1cancme
Member
HI Jen,
I haven't been on the boards in while(computers been down) , Had the opportunity tonight and was thinking of Tobin and you. I just seems like yesterday when you guys called to talk to me. That one small conversation is something I will cherish forever.
Tobin Arnold was one amazing cat, but the one thing I have learned over the years is most amazing men usually have an amazing woman that makes them that way! Keep the Faith, and please remember you will always have a prayer warrior ready at you beck and call.
GOD Bless
Tim.
I haven't been on the boards in while(computers been down) , Had the opportunity tonight and was thinking of Tobin and you. I just seems like yesterday when you guys called to talk to me. That one small conversation is something I will cherish forever.
Tobin Arnold was one amazing cat, but the one thing I have learned over the years is most amazing men usually have an amazing woman that makes them that way! Keep the Faith, and please remember you will always have a prayer warrior ready at you beck and call.
GOD Bless
Tim.
wattsupdoc
Active Member
Jenny,
You will never really get over it. Why would you want to anyways? You will learn to live with it. That is what Tobin would want for you, to LIVE. Of course no one will ever measure up to Tobin, but you will find someone who will measure by a different standard, and will measure very well. You know in any relationship, it takes two. Tobin by all means was a great man, and this means that he chose his companion well, you are a great woman. And choose your companions well. This is why you two found each other. Had it been the other way around, Tobin would be feeling the same way, who will ever measure up? The year anniversary is a milestone, you have made it through it. Your grieving will not be over yet, and longer than your grieving is your healing. I wish you nothing but the best that life can offer any person. I don't know what else to say except that I know that everything in life happens for a reason. Call it destiny, karma, god's will, whatever...... There is something more powerful than you and I at play in this world. You wont know the reason at first, but one day, I promise you, you will. It will be so evident you wont be able to deny it. Tobin already knows this, and he wants you to know it. Time heals all wounds.
You will never really get over it. Why would you want to anyways? You will learn to live with it. That is what Tobin would want for you, to LIVE. Of course no one will ever measure up to Tobin, but you will find someone who will measure by a different standard, and will measure very well. You know in any relationship, it takes two. Tobin by all means was a great man, and this means that he chose his companion well, you are a great woman. And choose your companions well. This is why you two found each other. Had it been the other way around, Tobin would be feeling the same way, who will ever measure up? The year anniversary is a milestone, you have made it through it. Your grieving will not be over yet, and longer than your grieving is your healing. I wish you nothing but the best that life can offer any person. I don't know what else to say except that I know that everything in life happens for a reason. Call it destiny, karma, god's will, whatever...... There is something more powerful than you and I at play in this world. You wont know the reason at first, but one day, I promise you, you will. It will be so evident you wont be able to deny it. Tobin already knows this, and he wants you to know it. Time heals all wounds.
oceanlover
Member
I have lost a husband too and I was young. It hurts like Hell but I can promise you that time passing is a mercy. You'll go forward a few steps and then take a big step back. But keep moving. As time passes, it becomes easier to deal with. You'll get past the sadness if you stay involved with the world.
I've remarried (20 years already) and have two teenagers now. I haven't stopped loving husband #1 but there is room in your heart for more than one love.
I've remarried (20 years already) and have two teenagers now. I haven't stopped loving husband #1 but there is room in your heart for more than one love.
