I binge eat.

[snakeblitz33]

I know some of you don't care - and some may laugh at me or make fun, I don't care. I am seeking some help from fellow friends here on the boards... I need your support for my health and sanity.
I never knew that there was such a thing called "binge eating disorder" until I was reading about it. I thought that I was the only one... you know, one of those feelings.
I put everything on my plate and I have to finish it... I get that feeling that if I don't finish it, something bad is going to happen. I don't know what - but I just have to finish it. I have to eat anything that people offer me, regardless if I am hungry or not. Even when I am not hungry, I will go into the kitchen and snack, and snack and snack. I always do this alone, and I always feel absolutely horrible and guilty afterwards. I do this about two to three times a week.
When I know I will be alone all evening, I will sometimes stop by the store to pick up some snacks... cookies, doughnuts,... whatever... and I will just sit there and eat and eat and eat until they are gone... and then I feel so guilty about it and so terrible that I throw away the packaging in the outside garbage so my family and friends don't know about it, especially my wife.
I started binge eating when I was nine - after my mother was hospitalized for a mental disorder. My brother practically raised me, but he wasn't a mother or a father - and was only seven years older than me at the time. I would secretly eat a box of poptarts or a whole thing of cookies... and I wouldn't purge or overexercise to compensate. I would be miserable,... but then I would still sit down to a meal even if I wasn't hungry. Things got a little better for me and I stopped... I didn't think about it anymore and when I started highschool I was 155 pounds.
My senior year of highschool I became friends with someone who started getting me back in the habit of eating large snacks after school again and it all started from there - I sunk back into old habits. I'm not blaming my friend at all - because it was mostly my depression.
After my fish store closed, I was at 277 pounds. But then life started getting better and I decided that enough was enough so I really worked hard on my diet and tried to limit my bingeings to once a week.. and it worked. I got down to 211 pounds. I found out that my wife was pregnant about a year ago - and the stresses of having to prepare for such a big life change - and not being financially ready and stable yet - as well as stresses of life in general started me back on the path to bingeing. At first it was just about twice a week - I would sit and eat a bag of potato chips till they were completely gone or finish the leftovers before they spoiled. Over the last three or four months it's progressively gotten worse. I am currently back up to 246 pounds.
I am pouring my heart out to those that can understand this disorder. I need support to overcome it. I realize that I can not do this on my own again and I need some help from close friends and not so close friends to help me change my habits. I need advice, wisdom and comments... any support. Please do not comment on this thread if you are going to be mean - that's the last thing I need right now.
P.S. I just told my wife this afternoon about my eating disorder. That was a big first step.

 

[meowzer]

WOW.....I feel for you.....I do not do that, BUT...I am guilty of eating out of boredom.....and I consider myself a buffaholic....my own made up term for a person that goes to a buffet and just EATS EVERYTHING...cause you can Now getting older, it is taking it's toll...OR WAS.....I recently started going to a gym, and eating healthier
First I would try to find something to do to occupy your time (and hands) second.....go to the store and buy HEALTHY snacks. I have started buying Natures Harvest trail mixes...they have a large variety....
keep fruit in the house NOT CHIPS.....
That's all I really have to offer.....good luck

 

[snakeblitz33]

Eating a bag of apples and oranges just isn't as good as eating a box of doughnuts. I know, I've tried. After eating the apples, I would go to the kitchen and get a pack or two of peanutbutter crackers and some chocolate milk.
The first step right now is for me to get this out in the open. I am putting my shame on display before the world to see. I am going to tell my parents and my brother soon enough. Maybe by doing this, I can get better.

 

[sweatervest13]

Keep your head up Dude!!
I know what you mean about always eating what is on you plate even though you may be full. I was raised to be a member of the clean plate club. Heck my mom even to this day makes me finish my plate (when she visits). And who does not eat because they are bored... Someone who hates food that's who. I live to eat NOT eat to live.LOL
Eating can be just like any other addiction and it looks like you are taking the first steps to getting on top of it. Congrats!!!
Try drinking lots of liquids (mostly water!!). This should fill the belly so you can not fit much in it. Also power foods, like fruit and veggies. Try eating a whole thing of celery or a bag of carrots. with maybe a little something guilty in between. You can also compensate by exercising more often.
I admire you courage for putting this out there for everyone to see. Keep working towards you goals!!

 

[snakeblitz33]

Thank you sweatervest13.

 

[rickross23]

Keep  your  head up Dude!!
I know what you mean about always eating what is on you plate even though you may be full.  I was raised to be a member of the clean plate club. Heck my mom even to this day makes me finish my plate (when she visits).  And who does not eat because they are bored... Someone who hates food that's who.  I live to eat NOT eat to live.LOL
  Eating can be just like any other addiction and it looks like you are taking the first steps to getting on top of it.  Congrats!!!
Try drinking lots of liquids (mostly water!!).  This should fill the belly so you can not fit much in it.  Also power foods, like fruit and veggies.  Try eating a whole thing of celery or a bag of carrots.  with maybe a little something guilty in between.  You can also compensate by exercising more often. 
I admire you courage for putting this out there for everyone to see.  Keep working towards you goals!!
+1
Try chewing gum.

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477908
Eating a bag of apples and oranges just isn't as good as eating a box of doughnuts. I know, I've tried. After eating the apples, I would go to the kitchen and get a pack or two of peanutbutter crackers and some chocolate milk.
The first step right now is for me to get this out in the open. I am putting my shame on display before the world to see. I am going to tell my parents and my brother soon enough. Maybe by doing this, I can get better.
Hi Seth...you are not alone. I weigh 292 pounds. I'm a big eater and I also clean my plate ( when I was a kid that was the rule) I never make my kids or grandkids eat if they don't want it. We must break the cycle!
I found weight watchers online to be the best, it is geared for those of us who love to eat. It even alows for snacks. I lost 50 pounds. Counting points and even gaining the right to eat extra points by swapping exercise time...it actually works. All you have to do is lose no more and no less than 2 pounds a week, but it adds up to healthy eating and getting very good at finding what you can eat allot of without too many points. Before you know it the lost pounds add up to looking and feeling better without fighting the natural you. Even cookies are allowed.
We didn't gain all the weight in a day and we can't expect to lose it any faster. Just think... 2 pounds a week with 52 weeks in a year = 104 pounds in a year. Some weeks I only lost 1 pound, and others I lost 5, but the WW icon yelled at me about loosing too fast...LOL. Just stay with those points and it all adds up to good healthy weight loss.
A favorite recipe:
A bag of boneless skinless chicken breasts. (about 6 breasts)
A large container of salsa
A large can of whole black beans drained
Put it into a slowcooker until it's done (end of the day or cook all night) and shred the chicken when it's done and continue to cook uncovered so the liquid cooks off. This makes the best chicken tacos I ever ate. One corn tortilla and lettuse, tomato and a little sour cream ( I use parve tofu sourcream because I don't mix meat and dairy) all adds up to 2 points per taco. Without sourcream...1 point
I get 40 points a day to use.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Quote:
Originally Posted by rickross23 http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477923
+1
Try chewing gum.
Don't you think that if it were as simple as that, that I would not be pouring my heart out and asking for help? Do you seriously think that managing an eating disorder is as simple as chewing gum???
When all you can think about is your next meal and what food you are going to be eating that day and when the next time you are going to be alone for a few hours is so that you can binge... it's as simple as drinking some water and chewing some gum???!?!?!?!

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477925
Don't you think that if it were as simple as that, that I would not be pouring my heart out and asking for help? Do you seriously think that managing an eating disorder is as simple as chewing gum???
When all you can think about is your next meal and what food you are going to be eating that day and when the next time you are going to be alone for a few hours is so that you can binge... it's as simple as drinking some water and chewing some gum???!?!?!?!
Easy there...he was thinking of giving your mouth something to do...wtihout knowing what you go thru, he can't really relate but wants to help.

 

[meowzer]

Hey Seth.....You asked people for their thoughts.....I don't think you should jump down someones throat for making an innocent suggestion.....Not everyone knows what you are going thru.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Thank you Flower...
Weight watchers makes some sense but I don't know how well it will work to "cure" or manage an eating disorder. To me, I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room before I can move on to a way how to deal with it. I don't know honestly where to start.
The problem for me is getting into a routine. I am hopefully going to start a new job soon - because I am being laid off from the last one in about 20 days. (stress). I can't seem to make myself want to wake up and get the day started. Although I do, I usually dread doing it.
I use these forums - for giving information to new hobbyists but to also avoid my problems in real life.
My wife suggested watching our diets closer and everything... I don't know how well that is going to work out.
Used to, when she would send me out for burgers, I would order two for myself and eat one on the way home and throw away the packaging before I got in the door. I'd pay cash.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477928
Easy there...he was thinking of giving your mouth something to do...wtihout knowing what you go thru, he can't really relate but wants to help.
You and meowzer are right. Sorry Rick. E-mail me sometime and I will try to explain better.
Sorry sweatervest for the water comment. I was just a little upset at Rick. No worries mate, Thank you for the comments, advice and support.

 

[snakeblitz33]

So, weight watchers is familiar with this disorder... and it has some steps to manage it. I did a little more research on it, Flower, and it seems like it could work for me somewhat. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

[dragonzim]

Not to sound insensitive, but asking a bunch of people that you barely know on an online forum for help on something like this seems to be just setting yourself up for failure. It sounds like you have a legitimate eating disorder that would benefit from some professional help. I know from your other posts that you are having job issues so I dont know what your medical insurance situation is like though....

 

[mr. limpid]

Seth, I'm in the same boat, I call it closet eater, I would be so bad is to go hide in the bath room to eat. I get home from work and head to the frig. The only thing that I found to counter act this because it will never go away (like you said brought on by depression, which you are under major pressure). I joined a gym, so now when I get home I throw on my work out close and go straight to the gym after work. I know money is tight for you now, so you should go for a run or walk. let nothing not even your own mind let you out of it. When you start to feel better your eating will diminish, its a mental thing, because this is the same mental thing that is cause your eating. Hang in there buddy, look for that dim light.

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477930
Thank you Flower...
Weight watchers makes some sense but I don't know how well it will work to "cure" or manage an eating disorder. To me, I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room before I can move on to a way how to deal with it. I don't know honestly where to start.
The problem for me is getting into a routine. I am hopefully going to start a new job soon - because I am being laid off from the last one in about 20 days. (stress). I can't seem to make myself want to wake up and get the day started. Although I do, I usually dread doing it.
I use these forums - for giving information to new hobbyists but to also avoid my problems in real life.
My wife suggested watching our diets closer and everything... I don't know how well that is going to work out.
Used to, when she would send me out for burgers, I would order two for myself and eat one on the way home and throw away the packaging before I got in the door. I'd pay cash.
Been there and done that....We eat too much, that's the problem. However if you are on the WW way you CAN eat allot and still lose weight. Then get a grip on overcoming the stress. I gained weight really bad when I first went on disability 2 years ago. Seeing that number above 300 was scarry. I like being back (however small the margin) in the 200s and I really want to get to that 100 mark. Now I can't hardly exercise.
You have to get the mind set and be determined. Instead of saying I can't, you must tell yourself that you will. I like to eat, I eat when I'm depressed, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm stressed and I even eat to celebrate. My 1 point tacos allow me some kettle popcorn while I watch my movies late at night. WW has recipes for cookies and all kinds of goodies. I go out to resturants and still manage to keep my number count where it's supposed to be. It is geared for big eaters and the lower point items are actually less in things like fat and sugars.You actually learn how to eat right without trying.
Life isn't going to stop throwing you curve balls...If one problem gets settled another is right behind it. Such is life ...me..I always ate the fries before I got home. Fries are far worse than a burgar and I always supersized it...I don't eat fries anymore if I want to lose weight at all.
If I can do it..you can do it too Seth...you just have to have a battle plan (Weight Watchers) and startegy to help you stick with it. LOL...like next time send your wife for the burgars.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonZim http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477933
Not to sound insensitive, but asking a bunch of people that you barely know on an online forum for help on something like this seems to be just setting yourself up for failure. It sounds like you have a legitimate eating disorder that would benefit from some professional help. I know from your other posts that you are having job issues so I dont know what your medical insurance situation is like though....
It's not insensitive. I realize that as well, that is why I told my wife today and I am telling my family tonight and my friends tomorrow. I am on here very often and have gotten to know a lot of you and I find that if I can get any support from anywhere - I am going for it. I want to be able to identify with others and figure out how other people have managed it, because no one I know of around me in my life has this same problem and if I cast a large net by posting on forums like this, I might be able to find someone who shares my disorder and can help me to manage it because they have gone through it themselves.
I'm laid off in about 20 days. I'm starting a minimum wage job in a couple of weeks. health insurance,... what's that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Limpid http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477934
Seth, I'm in the same boat, I call it closet eater, I would be so bad is to go hide in the bath room to eat. I get home from work and head to the frig. The only thing that I found to counter act this because it will never go away (like you said brought on by depression, which you are under major pressure). I joined a gym, so now when I get home I throw on my work out close and go straight to the gym after work. I know money is tight for you now, so you should go for a run or walk. let nothing not even your own mind let you out of it. When you start to feel better your eating will diminish, its a mental thing, because this is the same mental thing that is cause your eating. Hang in there buddy, look for that dim light.
... and my point exactly DragonZim...
Anyways, thank you for posting! I really would like to hear more about your problems. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it on the forum, I would love to talk with you privately about it. Since I am such a big guy, it's hard for me to just do a slow jog at the moment. Baby steps. I did join a gym a year ago and never went. I canceled my membership and that's the best $75 a month I have ever saved.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477937
Been there and done that....We eat too much, that's the problem. However if you are on the WW way you CAN eat allot and still lose weight. Then get a grip on overcoming the stress. I gained weight really bad when I first went on disability 2 years ago. Seeing that number above 300 was scarry. I like being back (however small the margin) in the 200s and I really want to get to that 100 mark. Now I can't hardly exercise.
You have to get the mind set and be determined. Instead of saying I can't, you must tell yourself that you will. I like to eat, I eat when I'm depressed, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm stressed and I even eat to celebrate. My 1 point tacos allow me some kettle popcorn while I watch my movies late at night. WW has recipes for cookies and all kinds of goodies. I go out to resturants and still manage to keep my number count where it's supposed to be. It is geared for big eaters and the lower point items are actually less in things like fat and sugars.You actually learn how to eat right without trying.
Life isn't going to stop throwing you curve balls...If one problem gets settled another is right behind it. Such is life ...me..I always ate the fries before I got home. Fries are far worse than a burgar and I always supersized it...I don't eat fries anymore if I want to lose weight at all.
If I can do it..you can do it too Seth...you just have to have a battle plan (Weight Watchers) and startegy to help you stick with it. LOL...like next time send your wife for the burgars.
Everyone in my family has diabetes... my dad has had two heart attacks and he weighs less than I do. It's scary. I don't want diabetes caused by overindulgence. If I am going to get diabetes, I want it to be type 1... to know that there was nothing that I could have done about it.
My wife and I just talked about weight watchers... we are most likely going to sign up since it is only costing a dollar right now. Might be the best $2 I've ever spent, who knows.
I can be determined... afterall I did loose 66 pounds a couple of years ago. But, I never addressed my eating disorder. I would try to manage it and always end up binging on weekends or whenever I was alone.
I know that life keeps throwing me curve balls and it seems like the dim light at the end of the tunnel (thanks limpid) is years and years away for me... and that makes me depressed and even more stressed. But, at the same time I realize that because it is years and years and years away it means that I need to address it now instead of in the future. I need to control it now so that I can be healthy for my daughter while she is growing up.
Yeah, next time she will get the burgers. lol Hopefully she can help us make some better diet decisions as well.

 

[mr. limpid]

Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477938
Anyways, thank you for posting! I really would like to hear more about your problems. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it on the forum, I would love to talk with you privately about it. Since I am such a big guy, it's hard for me to just do a slow jog at the moment. Baby steps. I did join a gym a year ago and never went. I canceled my membership and that's the best $75 a month I have ever saved.
Your not that big 240lbs, I'm 245lbs and the only thing stopping from jogging is my bad knee. Start slow, walking fast, then faster and soon you'll be running. And your last statement I know you no the answer to that one (never went). Over eating is an addiction, when I realized that I realized I could control it if I chose to. B4 I start to eat I ask myself is this peace of cake going to solve my problem? Some times I say no other times I say I don't care and eat the cake. But afterwords, I no the answer, so the next time I remember that the cake didn't solve the problem, so I have a cookie instead. And I go through the same game with myself, until there are no food left to fool myself with. And now I ask myself the question I know the answer to all the cake, cookies, pies, etc. I still eat them but not to the point of binging.

 

[snakeblitz33]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Limpid http:///t/391922/i-binge-eat#post_3477943
Your not that big 240lbs, I'm 245lbs and the only thing stopping from jogging is my bad knee. Start slow, walking fast, then faster and soon you'll be running. And your last statement I know you no the answer to that one (never went). Over eating is an addiction, when I realized that I realized I could control it if I chose to. B4 I start to eat I ask myself is this peace of cake going to solve my problem? Some times I say no other times I say I don't care and eat the cake. But afterwords, I no the answer, so the next time I remember that the cake didn't solve the problem, so I have a cookie instead. And I go through the same game with myself, until there are no food left to fool myself with. And now I ask myself the question I know the answer to all the cake, cookies, pies, etc. I still eat them but not to the point of binging.
I'm 6'. 240 is considered obese. Considering I was 155 in high school, I have gained a lot of weight. I don't want to get that bad knee by jogging while I am still 240 pounds. I will walk, however, I just have to find the time. I would like to be at 175-180 again and put on a little muscle too.
I'd eat the cake, then some cookies and then some chips or whatever else I could find... it's hard to stop when I am alone. If I could just manage not starting it would be better.
weight watchers is looking more promising for me right now, since my wife is also willing to try it.
Wow, I just feel a lot better talking about this with some of you.