I feel like I'm at a crossroads... or maybe it's just an early mid-life crisis...
- Thread starter crimzy
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coral keeper
Active Member
Originally Posted by Clown Boy
http:///forum/post/2932781
texas!!!
Its too hot over there.
Move to California!
http:///forum/post/2932781
texas!!!
Its too hot over there.
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2932761
However if the real reason is that you don't like where you are, even if you got the raise you desire some where along the road you are not going to be happy there. Money is a short term motivator, especially in the situation where you are not happy in the environment you are working in.
Well said. At this point, I feel a strong desire to go in a different direction. This relates to my career and also my home state. I also know that once my kids are both in grade school, I am not going to yank them out just to move away. This is all dependant on me finding a good position in another state but if and when that comes along, I think that my opportunities to pull the trigger on something like this are getting more and more limited.
http:///forum/post/2932761
However if the real reason is that you don't like where you are, even if you got the raise you desire some where along the road you are not going to be happy there. Money is a short term motivator, especially in the situation where you are not happy in the environment you are working in.
Well said. At this point, I feel a strong desire to go in a different direction. This relates to my career and also my home state. I also know that once my kids are both in grade school, I am not going to yank them out just to move away. This is all dependant on me finding a good position in another state but if and when that comes along, I think that my opportunities to pull the trigger on something like this are getting more and more limited.
stdreb27
Active Member
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2932626
I hear what you're saying Streb... I've thought about it myself. I cannot uproot my family and find some great professional opportunity only to get homesick and want to come home shortly thereafter. I don't think this is going to happen, though. Wife and I have discussed this and agree that if me make the move then it will be permanent. This is the reason that it's crucial to find the right location for us to do this...
The other question is do you really want to raise your kids in detroit?
It is really weird to just pick up and move some where else, when you don't have family or a good group of friends close buy. Especially if you aren't in school making them or something.
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2932761
However if the real reason is that you don't like where you are, even if you got the raise you desire some where along the road you are not going to be happy there. Money is a short term motivator, especially in the situation where you are not happy in the environment you are working in.
Remember that line in tombstone? When the Marshall is talking to Wyatt and says, "I've never met a rich man without a guilty conscience."
Then Wyatt said, "I already have a guilty conscience, might as well have the money that goes with it."
Sounds like he isn't entirely happy where he is, and isn't making the money he wants.
http:///forum/post/2932626
I hear what you're saying Streb... I've thought about it myself. I cannot uproot my family and find some great professional opportunity only to get homesick and want to come home shortly thereafter. I don't think this is going to happen, though. Wife and I have discussed this and agree that if me make the move then it will be permanent. This is the reason that it's crucial to find the right location for us to do this...
The other question is do you really want to raise your kids in detroit?
It is really weird to just pick up and move some where else, when you don't have family or a good group of friends close buy. Especially if you aren't in school making them or something.
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2932761
However if the real reason is that you don't like where you are, even if you got the raise you desire some where along the road you are not going to be happy there. Money is a short term motivator, especially in the situation where you are not happy in the environment you are working in.
Remember that line in tombstone? When the Marshall is talking to Wyatt and says, "I've never met a rich man without a guilty conscience."
Then Wyatt said, "I already have a guilty conscience, might as well have the money that goes with it."
Sounds like he isn't entirely happy where he is, and isn't making the money he wants.
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/2932890
The other question is do you really want to raise your kids in detroit?
It is really weird to just pick up and move some where else, when you don't have family or a good group of friends close buy. Especially if you aren't in school making them or something.
Just so you know, I do not live in Detroit, I live in metro Detroit... HUGE DIFFERENCE.
It may be strange to just decide to pick up and move out of state. Wife and I both have friends in each of the places that we're considering but this is not overly important to me. My wife makes friends with everyone, no matter where we are. And me, all I need are a handful of guys to play basketball with on a fairly regular basis.... and that's not too difficult to find.
http:///forum/post/2932890
The other question is do you really want to raise your kids in detroit?
It is really weird to just pick up and move some where else, when you don't have family or a good group of friends close buy. Especially if you aren't in school making them or something.
Just so you know, I do not live in Detroit, I live in metro Detroit... HUGE DIFFERENCE.
It may be strange to just decide to pick up and move out of state. Wife and I both have friends in each of the places that we're considering but this is not overly important to me. My wife makes friends with everyone, no matter where we are. And me, all I need are a handful of guys to play basketball with on a fairly regular basis.... and that's not too difficult to find.
aquaknight
Active Member
Where in each of the states are you leaning to? Both Florida and Cali offer extremely diverse living depending where in the state you are...
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by AquaKnight
http:///forum/post/2932948
Where in each of the states are you leaning to? Both Florida and Cali offer extremely diverse living depending where in the state you are...
Nowhere in particular... it pretty much depends on where my professional opportunity is.
http:///forum/post/2932948
Where in each of the states are you leaning to? Both Florida and Cali offer extremely diverse living depending where in the state you are...
Nowhere in particular... it pretty much depends on where my professional opportunity is.
darthtang aw
Active Member
Crimzy stop. Several things. Because of what you do and how your work ethic is you are providing an exceptional life style and manner of well being to your family. From my percpective this has to be first and foremost above all personal feelings and thoughts. Am I doing what I love? Far from it. Am I happy with the business I am in, not really. This is not my passion. It is my wife's, but I am willing to sacrifice my passion for her well being and my family's.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
aquaknight
Active Member
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/2932981
Don't forget to look at taxes, states like texas don't have income taxes. Personally there is no way I'd live somewhere that has snow, unless I'm looking at mountains everywhere, and great fishing...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_income_tax It's awesome that in Texas and Florida it's expressly written in the state consitution that there shall never be state income tax...
It could get pretty pricey in Cali... What in the world is a 1% mental health tax?
http:///forum/post/2932981
Don't forget to look at taxes, states like texas don't have income taxes. Personally there is no way I'd live somewhere that has snow, unless I'm looking at mountains everywhere, and great fishing...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_income_tax It's awesome that in Texas and Florida it's expressly written in the state consitution that there shall never be state income tax...
It could get pretty pricey in Cali... What in the world is a 1% mental health tax?
stdreb27
Active Member
Originally Posted by Darthtang AW
http:///forum/post/2932982
Crimzy stop. Several things. Because of what you do and how your work ethic is you are providing an exceptional life style and manner of well being to your family. From my percpective this has to be first and foremost above all personal feelings and thoughts. Am I doing what I love? Far from it. Am I happy with the business I am in, not really. This is not my passion. It is my wife's, but I am willing to sacrifice my passion for her well being and my family's.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
But at the same time, if you don't risk anything, then you'll stay at status quo.
http:///forum/post/2932982
Crimzy stop. Several things. Because of what you do and how your work ethic is you are providing an exceptional life style and manner of well being to your family. From my percpective this has to be first and foremost above all personal feelings and thoughts. Am I doing what I love? Far from it. Am I happy with the business I am in, not really. This is not my passion. It is my wife's, but I am willing to sacrifice my passion for her well being and my family's.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
But at the same time, if you don't risk anything, then you'll stay at status quo.
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by Darthtang AW
http:///forum/post/2932982
Crimzy stop. Several things. Because of what you do and how your work ethic is you are providing an exceptional life style and manner of well being to your family. From my percpective this has to be first and foremost above all personal feelings and thoughts. Am I doing what I love? Far from it. Am I happy with the business I am in, not really. This is not my passion. It is my wife's, but I am willing to sacrifice my passion for her well being and my family's.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
Darth, we think alike. Notice that nowhere did I mention whether or not I enjoy what I do. The reality is that I don't really care about what I'm doing. I would shovel crap full time if it was the best way to provide for my family. While I am indispensible at my current firm, I see a ceiling as to my earning potential and I know that I'll have to scrap and claw to continue to progress. The primary reason for making a move is to look for a better opportunity. My goals will be achieved when money is not a concern for my family. Choosing a new place to live with an ocean and nice weather is the secondary consideration.
Having job security is nice. But I have no problem throwing my hat into a less secure, bigger opportunity and I'm confident that I'll do well. After all, I've been beating up the "big guys" for years now.
Thanks for the responses all.
http:///forum/post/2932982
Crimzy stop. Several things. Because of what you do and how your work ethic is you are providing an exceptional life style and manner of well being to your family. From my percpective this has to be first and foremost above all personal feelings and thoughts. Am I doing what I love? Far from it. Am I happy with the business I am in, not really. This is not my passion. It is my wife's, but I am willing to sacrifice my passion for her well being and my family's.
You may be doing more and more at work, but the feeling of being indecpensible is hard to gain. You have that. With that comes a far amount of power as well as lee way most people never attain at a job. I am indespecible at my part-time job. I have worked hard to get that way. Home depot is laying off 5000 employees. The wife asked if I was worried. I am not. This made her feel more secure. Especially since conversation with my boss has made me secure in this feeling. I was told there are minimum 20 full-timers they would get rid of before me not to mention part-timers. This gave her security.
Do I enjoy carry a bigger load at a part-time job. Not really as I watch lazy people do nothing and then complain about their pay. I enjoy what I do there, but the expectations on myself are higher and that I do not enjoy, however it is the sacrifice I make to bring security to my family.
If you had any idea how many times I thought of selling our business and just getting a full time job that I was happy it you would be surprised. However when I weigh my happiness to my entire family's happiness, then I quickly change my mind. Right now my family is happy how things are, I may not enjoy things how they are, but in the grand scheme my family is happy. That in turn mkes me happy, even if I am not happy at work. At the end of the day I know I have done well.
Personal happiness is something society has brought to the forefront of our thinking now days. However I am happiest when my family is happy. My personal happiness changes, but theirs is constant. That is what matters.
If your family is happy how things are, don't change anything. Even if you at times feel abused. Change is not always better. Just something to keep in mind. In the end I know you will make the right decision. Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
Darth, we think alike. Notice that nowhere did I mention whether or not I enjoy what I do. The reality is that I don't really care about what I'm doing. I would shovel crap full time if it was the best way to provide for my family. While I am indispensible at my current firm, I see a ceiling as to my earning potential and I know that I'll have to scrap and claw to continue to progress. The primary reason for making a move is to look for a better opportunity. My goals will be achieved when money is not a concern for my family. Choosing a new place to live with an ocean and nice weather is the secondary consideration.
Having job security is nice. But I have no problem throwing my hat into a less secure, bigger opportunity and I'm confident that I'll do well. After all, I've been beating up the "big guys" for years now.
Thanks for the responses all.
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by bigarn
http:///forum/post/2933007
It's easy to suggest what other people should try, but we don't suffer the consequences. Think it out crimz .... and good luck.
Thanks large-arn...
I don't mind the comments. I started this thread to hopefully get peoples' responses to this idea. In any event, I am not doing anything impulsive. It may take me a long time to find the right option so I have time to consider everything.
http:///forum/post/2933007
It's easy to suggest what other people should try, but we don't suffer the consequences. Think it out crimz .... and good luck.
Thanks large-arn...
I don't mind the comments. I started this thread to hopefully get peoples' responses to this idea. In any event, I am not doing anything impulsive. It may take me a long time to find the right option so I have time to consider everything.
kjr_trig
Active Member
If you have any opportunity to leave Detroit for Florida or Cali I would certainly do so. If they offered my wife a 50% (she would be the one that makes the most) raise to move to Detroit, no chance we would take it....Get outta there if you can
Kind of just kidding you....but kind of not.
Kind of just kidding you....but kind of not.
spanko
Active Member
.... Remember as a father and Husband your first responsibility is to your family, above all personal happiness.
I call
While I agree the happiness of the wife and children are important, if you are not happy you are not doing the best you can and eventually that can disrupt the family more than anything. Family life is not about a select group of family members, it is about everyone. And the decisions that drive the well being of the family are the responsibility of the "management" of the family. That would be the team, lovers, partners that was the result of the marriage. I think Crim and his wife are doing the most that any marriage could ask for, discussing the problem that Crim sees and trying to develop a plan that works in the best interest of the family unit that they can. One person cannot be unhappy - miserable himherself and foster a healthy happy family.
IMO get off your "I am the man and have to provide no matter what" attitude.
Just sayin....................
I call
While I agree the happiness of the wife and children are important, if you are not happy you are not doing the best you can and eventually that can disrupt the family more than anything. Family life is not about a select group of family members, it is about everyone. And the decisions that drive the well being of the family are the responsibility of the "management" of the family. That would be the team, lovers, partners that was the result of the marriage. I think Crim and his wife are doing the most that any marriage could ask for, discussing the problem that Crim sees and trying to develop a plan that works in the best interest of the family unit that they can. One person cannot be unhappy - miserable himherself and foster a healthy happy family.
IMO get off your "I am the man and have to provide no matter what" attitude.
Just sayin....................
darthtang aw
Active Member
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2933019
I call
While I agree the happiness of the wife and children are important, if you are not happy you are not doing the best you can and eventually that can disrupt the family more than anything. Family life is not about a select group of family members, it is about everyone. And the decisions that drive the well being of the family are the responsibility of the "management" of the family. That would be the team, lovers, partners that was the result of the marriage. I think Crim and his wife are doing the most that any marriage could ask for, discussing the problem that Crim sees and trying to develop a plan that works in the best interest of the family unit that they can. One person cannot be unhappy - miserable himherself and foster a healthy happy family.
IMO get off your "I am the man and have to provide no matter what" attitude.
Just sayin....................
I agree with what you are saying to a degree. A truly miserable person will eventually make those around him/her miserable. My point was this. I ultimately gain my personal happiness when my family is happy. If Crimzy is of like mind (which I believe he is) I was just expressing not to trade one happiness for another. Because in the end the other may not equal the former.
Obviously he lives in a constructive family environment and they are discussing this in depth. I am sure he will reach the correct decision. No matter what it is. I was just wanting to point out a different viewpoint that had not been touched on.
http:///forum/post/2933019
I call
While I agree the happiness of the wife and children are important, if you are not happy you are not doing the best you can and eventually that can disrupt the family more than anything. Family life is not about a select group of family members, it is about everyone. And the decisions that drive the well being of the family are the responsibility of the "management" of the family. That would be the team, lovers, partners that was the result of the marriage. I think Crim and his wife are doing the most that any marriage could ask for, discussing the problem that Crim sees and trying to develop a plan that works in the best interest of the family unit that they can. One person cannot be unhappy - miserable himherself and foster a healthy happy family.
IMO get off your "I am the man and have to provide no matter what" attitude.
Just sayin....................
I agree with what you are saying to a degree. A truly miserable person will eventually make those around him/her miserable. My point was this. I ultimately gain my personal happiness when my family is happy. If Crimzy is of like mind (which I believe he is) I was just expressing not to trade one happiness for another. Because in the end the other may not equal the former.
Obviously he lives in a constructive family environment and they are discussing this in depth. I am sure he will reach the correct decision. No matter what it is. I was just wanting to point out a different viewpoint that had not been touched on.
darthtang aw
Active Member
I would have pointed out a violation if it was a man card dealing post....lol
crimzy
Active Member
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2933033
Gottcha. Sounded at first like a man card kind of post and I just felt that was not needed in this situation.
All is good, thanx for the clarification.
You want to talk about man-cards... I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday.
That was a first for me but I'm pretty sure it's a violation, (I may have to go again, my eyebrows are perfect
).
I feel so dirty!
http:///forum/post/2933033
Gottcha. Sounded at first like a man card kind of post and I just felt that was not needed in this situation.
All is good, thanx for the clarification.
You want to talk about man-cards... I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday.