Interracial relationships... your thoughts?
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tizzo
Guest
My hubby is Puerto Rican (but he totally looks white). But as far as your comments T316, I have never dated a black guy. There have been some that I absolutely have found attractive, and even got to know them, but in doing so, I quickly realized, what I always called 'cultural diFferences'.
One of the most obvious, was the interest in intimacy. A white guy does the dinner and a movie in hopes of getting lucky, where a black guy gets straight to the point..."dang girl, I'd like to get me some a dat!'
respectable in it's own right, I guess, all games and alterior motives aside, it's still not at all what I prefer.
Black guys have more style and way more confidence, but they display it differently.
LL cool J, & Terry Glenn are a couple examples
of absolutely fine looking black men.
Oh and TM, I'd say you married the furthest from your own culture! But to your benefit of course, you get better food, fully pronounced words and all the fiestiness that comes with Yankee women.
One of the most obvious, was the interest in intimacy. A white guy does the dinner and a movie in hopes of getting lucky, where a black guy gets straight to the point..."dang girl, I'd like to get me some a dat!'
respectable in it's own right, I guess, all games and alterior motives aside, it's still not at all what I prefer.
Black guys have more style and way more confidence, but they display it differently.
LL cool J, & Terry Glenn are a couple examples
of absolutely fine looking black men.
Oh and TM, I'd say you married the furthest from your own culture! But to your benefit of course, you get better food, fully pronounced words and all the fiestiness that comes with Yankee women.
aquaknight
Active Member
I like to think I have a semi unique experience. I grew up in Miami, where the vast majority is Hispanic, and then in highschool, we moved up to Boca Raton, where it was even White/Hispanic, but our house was zoned for a different school then we thought. In Miami, I was often was one of 3 or 4 kids out of 35 that were white. In highschool, they had the International Baccalaureate program, which I was in for 9th/10th, before switching to a business program for 11th/12th. However whenever I had a general class, most of class was Black, some American-Black some Haitian, with some Hispanics. Outside of my program classes, there were only a few whites.
I personally, just think it's too narrow to limit races down to themselves. Because of the IB program, I knew Black kids that played paintball, skateboarded, listened to rock/alternative, etc. And since I was on the football team, I knew the exactly opposite, Ja-Rule wannabe's with Grand Marquis on 22"s.
What Nina said early applies too. I dated a Cuban girl that associated herself with 'being white' even though she and her family usually speak Spanish to each other etc. But then you have like the "Black Cubans" or generally the darker Hispanic races, Panamanian, etc, that not associate being white in the least bit. So some are fine dating out of their race, some are actually a bit uncomfortable dating in their own.
Me personally, I'm a blonde guy.
So that sort of limits it....
I personally, just think it's too narrow to limit races down to themselves. Because of the IB program, I knew Black kids that played paintball, skateboarded, listened to rock/alternative, etc. And since I was on the football team, I knew the exactly opposite, Ja-Rule wannabe's with Grand Marquis on 22"s.
What Nina said early applies too. I dated a Cuban girl that associated herself with 'being white' even though she and her family usually speak Spanish to each other etc. But then you have like the "Black Cubans" or generally the darker Hispanic races, Panamanian, etc, that not associate being white in the least bit. So some are fine dating out of their race, some are actually a bit uncomfortable dating in their own.
Me personally, I'm a blonde guy.
jennythebugg
Active Member
my daughter is dating a black boy - thats her though - not for me . i figure it mostly comes down to what you are attracted to (brown/blonde hair , blue/brown eyes , dark/light skin)
flower
Well-Known Member
My brother married an Asian girl... Sweetest girl I ever met. However the parents were very much against the relationship, after 5 years of dating and trying to convince them, she finally gave up, and they got married.
12 years and 2 children later, they are still happy, OH and her parents accepted them with open arms after they realized they would be together no matter what their opinions were. They expressed no hostility at all after the marriage.
He was convinced her parents would hate him, they believed in arranged marriages..They wanted her to marry a man from China they had picked out.
My brother hates Asian food.. LOL
jemshores
Member
I guess we as a people, invoking the evolutionary process, have still not learned to look past outward physical appearances. Does not what's 'inside' count anymore, did it ever? IMO that is where it counts; its not about the wrapping paper, but the gift inside! Crimz...yes you probably are a good catch with a blossoming career and all, so I would be cautious regardless of any "date". Vulnerablilty is an emotion that can be hard to handle.
flower
Well-Known Member
Originally Posted by jackri
http:///forum/post/3124094
You can take the ugliest person with the best personality but would you ever be physically attracted to them? No.
Can you be best friends? Yes.
IMO in choosing a "mate" you must be attracted to them physically even if it sounds "shallow".
That is a MAN version...a woman will watch a guy from across the room, and the personality wins every time. A woman enjoys good looks but that is not what she is out looking for.
A guy looks, and 99% of the time chooses based on looks, the relationship fails miserably because of it.
You know that song...if you want to be happy for the rest of your life..Have an ugly woman for a wife, or something like that..It holds a truth. Quit judging on what you see with your eyes.
http:///forum/post/3124094
You can take the ugliest person with the best personality but would you ever be physically attracted to them? No.
Can you be best friends? Yes.
IMO in choosing a "mate" you must be attracted to them physically even if it sounds "shallow".
That is a MAN version...a woman will watch a guy from across the room, and the personality wins every time. A woman enjoys good looks but that is not what she is out looking for.
A guy looks, and 99% of the time chooses based on looks, the relationship fails miserably because of it.
You know that song...if you want to be happy for the rest of your life..Have an ugly woman for a wife, or something like that..It holds a truth. Quit judging on what you see with your eyes.
flower
Well-Known Member
Originally Posted by jackri
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
LOL...You should see my X. I wish now I had kept a picture...The guy was 6'2 skinny as a rail, and had hair sticking up all over...his face..OMG he is ugly. Looked like a skeleton with swollen eyes. That's when he was a young man... LOL
I never even noticed, he made me laugh and we partied allot back then. I was married to him for 33 years. He drank and used drugs the first 15 years, I quit drinking and using when I got pregnant with our daughter, she is 31 now. He stopped drinking and using for 18 years, I was finally happy....then he went back to it, after tasting life with a sober spouse, I couldn't do it all over again...so we divorced.
Now he is overweight, has 3 teeth left, and nearly bald (hair around his ears only). I would have stayed with him forever, if he would have only stayed sobor.
I, when I married him...36-24-36 I weighed 125, men stopped to stare when I entered the room, and the other girls hated me. Now I am fat, menopausal and want nothing to do with any guy...ugly or handsome, I could care less.
So now you know what is going in the minds the beautiful girls walking down the street their arms wrapped around some of the ugliest men you ever laid eyes on.
If a guy has a good sense of humor, and knows how to be kind and helpful...he can get a date, and a good looking wife no matter how ugly he may be.
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
LOL...You should see my X. I wish now I had kept a picture...The guy was 6'2 skinny as a rail, and had hair sticking up all over...his face..OMG he is ugly. Looked like a skeleton with swollen eyes. That's when he was a young man... LOL
I never even noticed, he made me laugh and we partied allot back then. I was married to him for 33 years. He drank and used drugs the first 15 years, I quit drinking and using when I got pregnant with our daughter, she is 31 now. He stopped drinking and using for 18 years, I was finally happy....then he went back to it, after tasting life with a sober spouse, I couldn't do it all over again...so we divorced.
Now he is overweight, has 3 teeth left, and nearly bald (hair around his ears only). I would have stayed with him forever, if he would have only stayed sobor.
I, when I married him...36-24-36 I weighed 125, men stopped to stare when I entered the room, and the other girls hated me. Now I am fat, menopausal and want nothing to do with any guy...ugly or handsome, I could care less.
So now you know what is going in the minds the beautiful girls walking down the street their arms wrapped around some of the ugliest men you ever laid eyes on.
If a guy has a good sense of humor, and knows how to be kind and helpful...he can get a date, and a good looking wife no matter how ugly he may be.
meowzer
Moderator
Originally Posted by jackri
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
That's why there is a light switch
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
That's why there is a light switch
zman1
Active Member
Originally Posted by jackri
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
That is GOOD....
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
mantisman51
Active Member
Funny. I have a close friend at work, who is black. I jokingly said, "I like my coffee like my women-black and strong." He knows me well enough to know I am a kidder and didn't take offense. Instead, he looked at me intently and said, "John, have you seen your wife?" Then started laughing-hard! My wife is a real "old America" Dutch assortment of all races pasty white-she is so white she glows in the dark! She doesn't tan, she burns red then fades back to ghost white. Anyhoo, I am happily married 21 1/2 years to frosty, but if I were single, I would date black/hispanic women. IN MY EXPERIENCE, attractive white women are all about the $ and most women of color I have met are more about character and heart. My wife is a beautiful white gal who isn't all about da bling, so there are exceptions to my observations.
T
tizzo
Guest
Originally Posted by jackri
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
I totally agree with Flower. Guys looks are based on their personalities. At least after about 25 years old anyway. I have dated guys who, after the fact, I couldn't believe how unattractive they were. When you like them, elmer fudd looks SO cute!
"Truly revolting" are the guys who think all women want them, no matter HOW they look. Just about any guy can look good to a female who likes who he is...
http:///forum/post/3124098
I was always told by a co-worker to marry the richest woman you can stomach.
Be honest now women... if you find a man's looks truly revolting you can't tell me you can still fall in love with his personality outside the Lifetime Network movie.
I totally agree with Flower. Guys looks are based on their personalities. At least after about 25 years old anyway. I have dated guys who, after the fact, I couldn't believe how unattractive they were. When you like them, elmer fudd looks SO cute!
"Truly revolting" are the guys who think all women want them, no matter HOW they look. Just about any guy can look good to a female who likes who he is...
jackri
Active Member
I think my point was missed in that fact if "you" personally find the person revolting at first impression -- not popular opinion. And yes I do believe personality counts for more than looks -- looks don't last forever and if they do plastic isn't that attractive IMO.
I will say though I see some couples and really scratch my head and wonder lol.
I will say though I see some couples and really scratch my head and wonder lol.
tangman99
Active Member
Originally Posted by Flower
http:///forum/post/3124095
That is a MAN version...a woman will watch a guy from across the room, and the personality wins every time. A woman enjoys good looks but that is not what she is out looking for.
If I had only known this when I was in High School I could have cleaned up.
http:///forum/post/3124095
That is a MAN version...a woman will watch a guy from across the room, and the personality wins every time. A woman enjoys good looks but that is not what she is out looking for.
If I had only known this when I was in High School I could have cleaned up.
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by TangMan99
http:///forum/post/3124617
If I had only known this when I was in High School I could have cleaned up.
Depends on the woman who's looking Tang. I think this is crap...most are looking at the guy's butt and other physical attibutes first. Then, and only then, do they give a rat's rear end about his personality...
http:///forum/post/3124617
If I had only known this when I was in High School I could have cleaned up.
Depends on the woman who's looking Tang. I think this is crap...most are looking at the guy's butt and other physical attibutes first. Then, and only then, do they give a rat's rear end about his personality...