Originally posted by slick
I don't know where you get your information but I believe this to be faulse. I don't beat kids but a little swat on the bottom fi they are doing something wrong will help correct the problem. As long as you explain to them why you did it. Now this is JMO so please no flamming.
Slick I got my research the hard way:
Masters Degree in Teaching and Leadership
4 Years teaching in a full lock down mental facility
Slick - what you describe is sometimes described as "the little adult theory."
In terms of discipline for your child I would highly suggest reading 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan - Ph.D.
Some Quotes from the book:
"So kids are kids - not little adults. One writer, in fact, stated once that 'Childhood is a period of transitory psychosis.' That means that kids, when they are little, are sort of nuts! They are born unreasonable and selfish, and it is our job to help them become the opposite." (pg. 12)
"Actually, 90% of spankings and the like are simply parental temper tantrums." (pg. 12)
He then starts the next paragraph with:
"We're not implying here that you are going around hitting your kids all the time. It may be true, however, that one of the main causes of child abuse (physical, not sexual) in this country is the little adult assumption." (pg 12)
For older kids there is a discipline style called parenting with love and logic. It is more of the explanation type discipline.
With young kids the 1-2-3 Magic is amazing!!!
The thing is for every parent there is a parenting style and many more parents are doing things right than wrong.
Of course after working with the worst of the worst kids I found that in 4 years of behavior disordered issues there was usually an adult who caused the situation except once - and then it was a traumatic brain injury.
There is a great British research piece on aversion therapy (fancy name for spanking). This three-year-old gets swatted for throwing something at a sibling and the mother swats the kid as he is walking away and warns him not to do that again and to be nice to his sister. The rewind the tape and the kid is singing to himself as he walks away - he did not sing to himself again for the next 3 months that the family was followed. So he learned that singing to himself was cause for punishment.
Kids live in the very moment of their existence - they rarely think ahead until they are older and their memory is highly selective. Piaget calls this a "concrete" mode - meaning if they can't immediately touch or feel it then it is not real to them. They move on to concrete operational a bit later in life (like 10-12) and some people never move beyond that!
So no flames here - after all - this is a free country and we are all allowed our opinions!!