man this really grinds my gears...

S

siptang

Guest
reefraff - that is horrible... I really hate immature adults messing up children like this.. I pray that your relationship with the grand kids can get back on track..
I have sent out the money this morning. I feel it alot and the fact that I have to watch my spending for next couple of weeks bothers me but I try to look from the bright side. I won't be helping out like this unless some medical reasons and that my wife has her face saved and be proud of her husband who went out of his way to help others.
I read all the comments here and tried to incorporate it and make it my own. Also reading on everyone's stories has put me on a better perspective and made me grateful for my life.
Thank you for sharing your story with me.
Lois - you are a great nana. I would have done the same, how can you deny little kids? You did what you could and you will be blessed later for them. Now more money for the fish and corals. :)
Flower- I pray that your situation will change too so that you and that grandchild in NY will have a great relationship as well...
Thank you guys for sharing your stories, it has definitely helped for the better and has made me view things in a better light.
Little update, my friends from volunteer places and church have gotten me some corals after they were aware of what had happened and that I couldn't get anything for a while.
I feel so blessed to have so much people care for me.
Thanks again guys.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Got to make you wonder what they do, that makes the more sensible adult throw all caution to the wind doesn't it....
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears#post_3452548
sorry to hear about that situation.
but, correct me if I'm wrong... when she got divorced, she could draw payments/child support from him... but once she is re-married officially, doesn't that mean that the new husband takes those responsibilities and the exhusbands payments sieze? Isn't it technically a good thing if your ex gets married again because you don't have to make payments anymore??
No. spousal support would have ended but this was all child support. She doesn't work BUT he paid for her to go to school to learn dog grooming which he could prove she was doing on the side under the table if he needed to so she wasn't going to get than anyway, This snake eyed #$%^& tried to convince him to let her new husband who's also military put the kids on his insurance. She kept insisting it would make things easier for her. So he goes in and checks on doing it. The person tells him there is no reason why he should do it but here's the kicker. It would have taken away the extra money he gets for housing allowance. When he confronted her about it she said that because they are in Hawaii they would get more money because of the COLA. Will she never offered to lower his child support payments. She tried yet again to screw him over and says she will just make the change on her own. I hope she tried, the military frowns on fraud.
Not only did he give her his whole paycheck until he got home in may, he paid her 1550 a month until last fall and she also took all their tax refund for last year which was about 6 grand. When he asked her to let him claim the kids as deductions this year because she didn't work and her new husband was deployed all of last year so most or all of his income isn't taxed rather than do something to benefit them both she told him no way. Trash, pure and simple. I can't believe he was dumb enough to hook up with this fiend in the first place.
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452573
reefraff - that is horrible... I really hate immature adults messing up children like this.. I pray that your relationship with the grand kids can get back on track..
I have sent out the money this morning. I feel it alot and the fact that I have to watch my spending for next couple of weeks bothers me but I try to look from the bright side. I won't be helping out like this unless some medical reasons and that my wife has her face saved and be proud of her husband who went out of his way to help others.
I read all the comments here and tried to incorporate it and make it my own. Also reading on everyone's stories has put me on a better perspective and made me grateful for my life.
Thank you for sharing your story with me.
Lois - you are a great nana. I would have done the same, how can you deny little kids? You did what you could and you will be blessed later for them. Now more money for the fish and corals. :)
Flower- I pray that your situation will change too so that you and that grandchild in NY will have a great relationship as well...
Thank you guys for sharing your stories, it has definitely helped for the better and has made me view things in a better light.
Little update, my friends from volunteer places and church have gotten me some corals after they were aware of what had happened and that I couldn't get anything for a while.
I feel so blessed to have so much people care for me.
Thanks again guys.
Hopefully your mother in law takes the hint if you told her no more. A friend of mine was hooked up with a girl who he was engaged to. Within about 6 weeks of meeting she had quit her job and was letting him support her and her 4 year old daughter. My friend's heart is about as soft as his head. During the time they were engaged he saw numerous times where she got her mother to pay for things like a new transmission in her car and a couple trips to California. With in a week of breaking off the engagement she had a new boyfriend sleeping over (she lives next door to my friend). Some people are natural born parasites and think nothing about letting others pay their way.
 
snakeblitz33

snakeblitz33

Well-Known Member
I work my butt off and have always paid my rent on time and in full and my landlord who will remain nameless, kicked my wife and I out on the street to move her daughter in rent free. Where is the motivation to work hard and earn your stay if your just going to be kicked out and treated like trash for no reason?
I could have sued, but we had no lease because I stupidly believed in a persons honor and integrity. Heh. Learned my lesson.
Trying not to get off subject, sorry.
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
Snake, as a previous landlord myself, I can tell you that no lease means no rights to stay on the premise. I had an arrangement with my last tenant for one month notice to vacate, which was at their request. They gave me one month notice when they wanted to leave, and that was it. I would have done the same to them if so inclined. No basis for law suit there no matter if it was what I wanted or not.
Renters, the only way you will have a right to "your" home, is if you buy your own. You are only borrowing a home for limited time when you rent.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
you might have case, unless you were paid up. In that case the laws don't protect you, from evictions.
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
Unless paid up, he might have a case?
He would have to be given notice in accordance to requirements in his state, but if he decided to leave when asked, then no law suit. If he was legally evicted, then no law suit. Now, if he found his belongings on the curb one day when he got home from work wo legal notice, then he'd have a leg to stand on. However, if he got a note on his door saying leave in one week, and he left, then, again no law suit. And, even with a contract, if you decide to leave rather than go through some eviction, then again, no law suit. The biggest power that tenants have is staying in the home and exhausting the legal process of eviction.This can be done with or without a lease in place. Also, this can buy you a good deal of time to find alternative living.
Obviously, people can file law suits, but doesn't mean they have a case. Also, you run the risk of a counter suit to recoup expenses when you loose.
Snake, you should have taken advantage of the market a few years ago and bought a house for zero down. I bought a second house in 2005, with a fixed standard 30 year/30% down loan. However, at the time, I could have bought the same house with zero down and still be paying less (or at least the same) in monthly mortgage then I would in rent.
It is a buyers market now, but you do need the down-payment these days.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452616
Unless paid up, he might have a case?
He would have to be given notice in accordance to requirements in his state, but if he decided to leave when asked, then no law suit. If he was legally evicted, then no law suit. Now, if he found his belongings on the curb one day when he got home from work wo legal notice, then he'd have a leg to stand on. However, if he got a note on his door saying leave in one week, and he left, then, again no law suit. And, even with a contract, if you decide to leave rather than go through some eviction, then again, no law suit. The biggest power that tenants have is staying in the home and exhausting the legal process of eviction.This can be done with or without a lease in place. Also, this can buy you a good deal of time to find alternative living.
Obviously, people can file law suits, but doesn't mean they have a case. Also, you run the risk of a counter suit to recoup expenses when you loose.
Snake, you should have taken advantage of the market a few years ago and bought a house for zero down. I bought a second house in 2005, with a fixed standard 30 year/30% down loan. However, at the time, I could have bought the same house with zero down and still be paying less (or at least the same) in monthly mortgage then I would in rent.
It is a buyers market now, but you do need the down-payment these days.
Sure, it is very difficult to kick people out of a house.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452595
I work my butt off and have always paid my rent on time and in full and my landlord who will remain nameless, kicked my wife and I out on the street to move her daughter in rent free. Where is the motivation to work hard and earn your stay if your just going to be kicked out and treated like trash for no reason?
I could have sued, but we had no lease because I stupidly believed in a persons honor and integrity. Heh. Learned my lesson.
Trying not to get off subject, sorry.
The subject is ...being taken advantage of
...I rented an apartment once, when Dan and I were first married.... We put new carpet down and a new kitchen floor tile (sticky stuff) there was no tile before that, just bare flooring...the landlord came by the very next month for the rent and saw how much we had imporved the place...he upped my rent an extra $400.00...we had to move out. Dan wanted to tear everything up but it was all glued and stapled down and if it's attached I would have to replace what was torn up as though we did the damage, so we just left. I told Dan maybe the next tenants will enjoy it. Getting even would get us nowhere.
Lesson learned: Don't improve on property unless you own it.
I always paid my rent on time, and I always showed respect for my landlords property like it was my own.
My reward: My current landlord wanted out of his obligation to the property I was living in. He foreclosed on three of his houses, but because I was a good risk, always on time with rent for 3 years..allowed me to take over the mortgage for what was owed, the papers are all signed, it's now all mine.
In the end Snake, I believe what goes around comes around...
 
S

siptang

Guest
I agree with Flower, you will get your break soon. If I remember correctly, you are still in the early 20s so you have plenty of time to get settled. Don't fret, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Flower - great story. I'm glad that it worked out for you!
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
Quote:
Originally Posted by stdreb27 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452616
Unless paid up, he might have a case?
He would have to be given notice in accordance to requirements in his state, but if he decided to leave when asked, then no law suit. If he was legally evicted, then no law suit. Now, if he found his belongings on the curb one day when he got home from work wo legal notice, then he'd have a leg to stand on. However, if he got a note on his door saying leave in one week, and he left, then, again no law suit. And, even with a contract, if you decide to leave rather than go through some eviction, then again, no law suit. The biggest power that tenants have is staying in the home and exhausting the legal process of eviction.This can be done with or without a lease in place. Also, this can buy you a good deal of time to find alternative living.
Obviously, people can file law suits, but doesn't mean they have a case. Also, you run the risk of a counter suit to recoup expenses when you loose.
Snake, you should have taken advantage of the market a few years ago and bought a house for zero down. I bought a second house in 2005, with a fixed standard 30 year/30% down loan. However, at the time, I could have bought the same house with zero down and still be paying less (or at least the same) in monthly mortgage then I would in rent.
It is a buyers market now, but you do need the down-payment these days.
Sure, it is very difficult to kick people out of a house.
It is a process, as the law will allow tenants to exhaust their rights.
I may be a bit jaded as I was not so lucky to have good tenants, thus, I am out of the business of being a landlord.
Flower and Snake, with a signed lease, all of the problems you described would be avoided. Also, I would not make modifications to a rental property wo a written understanding between myself and the landlord. Flower, the landlord in your situation could have sued you for damages for gluing down a floor in his house, or even nailing down the carpet. Things to keep in mind, renters.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452638
It is a process, as the law will allow tenants to exhaust their rights.
I may be a bit jaded as I was not so lucky to have good tenants, thus, I am out of the business of being a landlord.
Flower and Snake, with a signed lease, all of the problems you described would be avoided. Also, I would not make modifications to a rental property wo a written understanding between myself and the landlord. Flower, the landlord in your situation could have sued you for damages for gluing down a floor in his house, or even nailing down the carpet. Things to keep in mind, renters.
lol, people can be trash...
What sucks is the house I'm thinking about buying. I think my taxes and insurance is going to be 80% of what my mortgage is going to be...
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
We almost rented out our last house before we sold it. We had a guy who wanted to do rent to own until his divorce was final. He wanted to move in AND THEN do the rental agreement. When I pushed him he said he thought the house was worth 140K, we sold it for 170. Had I been stupid enough to let him move in it would have been a cluster getting him back out.
 
snakeblitz33

snakeblitz33

Well-Known Member
Isn't it nice to come home from a hard day of work and dive into a bowl of ramen noodles because you got shorted on your last paycheck? Yum yum.
I know I'm in the early stages of life, but it seems I never get the kind of breaks like my friends and family get. I'm just ready to find gainful employment and buy a house. I'm tired of surviving paycheck to paycheck.
Sorry for the rants guys and gals. It's just that y'all are some of the few people that listen to me. Thank you for that.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452670
Isn't it nice to come home from a hard day of work and dive into a bowl of ramen noodles because you got shorted on your last paycheck? Yum yum.
I know I'm in the early stages of life, but it seems I never get the kind of breaks like my friends and family get. I'm just ready to find gainful employment and buy a house. I'm tired of surviving paycheck to paycheck.
Sorry for the rants guys and gals. It's just that y'all are some of the few people that listen to me. Thank you for that.
You know Seth....I'm 48 years old, and it has only been the last few years that we are "comfortable" financially........With 6 kids together, and worthless ex's it was not an easy battle, but we survived
and you will too......just stay positive.....I never got any breaks either.....we worked hard (and still do) for everything we have...and you know what.....I would not have it any other way, what we have is ours, and NO ONE can say anything was handed to us
you'll do fine...you seem like a hard worker
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452670
Isn't it nice to come home from a hard day of work and dive into a bowl of ramen noodles because you got shorted on your last paycheck? Yum yum.
I know I'm in the early stages of life, but it seems I never get the kind of breaks like my friends and family get. I'm just ready to find gainful employment and buy a house. I'm tired of surviving paycheck to paycheck.
Sorry for the rants guys and gals. It's just that y'all are some of the few people that listen to me. Thank you for that.
I retired at 40 and have more money than I can spend. I don't get around well enough to do a lot and the pain from the paralysis in my leg keeps me from sleeping more than a couple hours at a stretch so I don't usually feel like doing much. There's a lot of worse stuff than living paycheck to paycheck. Your still young, most of us went through the same stuff. It gets better and when it does times like this will make you appreciate it even more.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452738
I retired at 40 and have more money than I can spend. I don't get around well enough to do a lot and the pain from the paralysis in my leg keeps me from sleeping more than a couple hours at a stretch so I don't usually feel like doing much. There's a lot of worse stuff than living paycheck to paycheck. Your still young, most of us went through the same stuff. It gets better and when it does times like this will make you appreciate it even more.
Oh man do I hear you...I worked hard all my life, and now I retire (disabled) with a confortable pension, and my overworked for too many years arthridic legs and feet make it hard to go anywhere or do anything.
Seth, When my kids were young. I had to portion out the food on their plates, so all the children had something to eat...there were no seconds to be had. Raman noodles tasted pretty dang good ....my kids still love it, and they are in their 30s.
LOL...When I was a teen I would complain about having to get up early and stand in the cold to catch the bus, my mother liked to tell me the story of how she walked 3 miles one way to school everyday... Right now you are earning your old man bragging rights, someday you will be able to tell your children how you lived on Raman noodles to give them (fill in the blank______)
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeBlitz33 http:///t/390059/man-this-really-grinds-my-gears/20#post_3452670
Isn't it nice to come home from a hard day of work and dive into a bowl of ramen noodles because you got shorted on your last paycheck? Yum yum.
I know I'm in the early stages of life, but it seems I never get the kind of breaks like my friends and family get. I'm just ready to find gainful employment and buy a house. I'm tired of surviving paycheck to paycheck.
Sorry for the rants guys and gals. It's just that y'all are some of the few people that listen to me. Thank you for that.
On a side note, I read the other day that people with a college degree had an unemployment rate of 4%. Everyone always says do what you love. But sometimes, I think doing what sucks is ok, as long as you have enough money to buy what you love... I'd rather hate work, eat steak, and buy what I love, than do what I love and live on Ramen...
 
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