Parent problem

[triga22]

Ive absolutly had it with my parents. For the past 3 days ive been helping my dad build a deck. I get yelled at because I was no help.. Then my aquarium stuff gets here. My dad yells at me because the pump is too big and he thinks itll suck my sump dry. He also thinks that I should spend 10.00 to ship it back. Making 30 out of 40 back and the go out and buy a smaller one for like 100.00. Im only 14 and already feel like moving out! What should I do? Live with my dad? Work it out(prolly not possible)? Ship everything back get out of my favorite hobby and run away-that one is more of a joke but feel like it now since it brings my dad so much anger.. Ive had it!

 

[babyb]

hahaha, im haveing the same problem, today my boyfriend and i were going to the botanical gardins and my dad dosent like that im growing up and dont need to run to dady very much, so he called about 15 mins away from the house and said to get back home i had chores ( which i didnt ) this was at about 11 and at 4 he gave me the list
ready for it ( ya like im gona do them)
1. walk through 7 acres and clean all trash up from neighbors, and what the wind blows from burn pile
2. collect all t- posts (about 200 of them), fence pannels (about 100of them ) and electric fence clips to atach them to fence ( about 4 or 500 of them)
3 we just had our 7 acres buldosed, the guy did a crappy job and thers stuff everywhere, you cant walk without stepping over piles of trees and mounds of dirt..... clean EVERY STICK, CHUNK OF WOOD, ROOT, WEED, ETC., from the 7 acres
uuuu i think not, just cuz your mad doesnt mean i will be the pack mule of the family
i want to move out but im in college and dont have a job so money is a little tight right now

 

[carter3]

I'm new to this hobby, but I am a mother of a teen. First you should talk to your Dad about your feeling. 2, this is not the place you should look for that kind of help, never know what u might get. Sometime you get overwhelmend and it might go away. THINK don't do any thing that will hurt YOU!!!!!!

 

[triga22]

I just hate it! Between high school and normal life there is sooooooooooooo much stress. That why in the summer I live at six flags where i get rid of it.

 

[fgcu14]

Be mad at your parents today...but love them tomorrow! They have done so much for you as of now and just to let your "teen years" get between you, is not right. I went through it when i was 14-15 but now looking back I hate the way I treated my dad. I think you will see that "our parents get smarter as we grow up"

 

[triga22]

Carter. Thanks for the advice not to leave. Im sorry but I cant take it. I know this isnt a good place to talk about it but who else? Plus I feel at home here and calms me down.

 

[carter3]

Look, if your not being abused than deal with it. Everyone has a bad day. I have a 17yr that hates my guts, but she will get over it, and one day understand that I'm trying to give her the knowlege she will need to make it in this mean world. I don't know your situation and can't advise you, but if this hobby is what calms you down, than great!!! Knock your self out read, learn as much as you can. Turn the neg. feeling your having into something pos. Who know you may be the next Joc, or Steve Ervin. :jumping:

 

[triga22]

Ok carter thanks that seriously helps me. I guess its just high school stress. Grades,parents,friends,homework,fish, all that stuff.. Just eating away at me.

 

[triga22]

Also He dosent hit me. He just yells at me for stupid stuff and never believes what I say or listen to my side of the story. If he starts something then he'll tell his side and just walk away when I talk.

 

[reefreak29]

ok every teen has probs like this , infact the same hormone that relaxes adults after a stressfull situation does the opposite in teens.sometimes u just have to sit back and asses the situation and then really think about it.
your dads your dad and hes trying to do the best hhee can its very stressfull for us parents worring about u guys all the time to ,u have noo idea.
schools a breeze compared to working and raising a family

 

[carter3]

Originally Posted by TriGa22
Also He dosent hit me. He just yells at me for stupid stuff and never believes what I say or listen to my side of the story. If he starts something then he'll tell his side and just walk away when I talk.

Sound like me and my daughter. Unfortunely I lost my mother, and father, every day I wish I could have one more day, hour, minute or second again just because I understand now. Maybe he walks away so he wont say any thing he will regret, just like your angry so is he, and he has other things on his mind like, bill, work, and your future so cute him some slack. Sorry to go so deep but its true.

 

[babyb]

Originally Posted by carter3
Look, if your not being abused than deal with it. Everyone has a bad day. I have a 17yr that hates my guts, but she will get over it, and one day understand that I'm trying to give her the knowlege she will need to make it in this mean world. I don't know your situation and can't advise you, but if this hobby is what calms you down, than great!!! Knock your self out read, learn as much as you can. Turn the neg. feeling your having into something pos. Who know you may be the next Joc, or Steve Ervin. :jumping:

hummm sounded a tad harsh to me,
being a 17 year old thats haveing problems from both ends, its not that we hate you but more of a time that we are trying to fly, were not respected in the adult " mean world" but we dont fit in in the childish world, were just trying to find our place, its like when theres a really windy day and you see the birds in the parking lot, they are trying to fight the wind, it seems like a loosing battle, thats what it feels like to me, you just cant find the way with the least resistance, your faced with growing up but you dont know where to go, and the parent is a constant so its easy to take it outon them, thers no dought they love me and theres no dought i love them but it just a time of growth... for everyone
or at least thats how i like o think of it
and its not the fact of "abuse" the constant yelling just gets to you

 

[reefreak29]

Originally Posted by BabyB
hummm sounded a tad harsh to me,
being a 17 year old thats haveing problems from both ends, its not that we hate you but more of a time that we are trying to fly, were not respected in the adult " mean world" but we dont fit in in the childish world, were just trying to find our place, its like when theres a really windy day and you see the birds in the parking lot, they are trying to fight the wind, it seems like a loosing battle, thats what it feels like to me, you just cant find the way with the least resistance, your faced with growing up but you dont know where to go, and the parent is a constant so its easy to take it outon them, thers no dought they love me and theres no dought i love them but it just a time of growth... for everyone
or at least thats how i like o think of it
and its not the fact of "abuse" the constant yelling just gets to you
i remember being that age and i wouldnt want to go back thats for sure

 

[babyb]

i hate it but what can you do but keep of truckin, in a moth ill be 18, theres no way i could make it on my own, i dont see how people can move out the day of there birthday and be somewhat ok

 

[carter3]

BabyB I don't want to be harsh but its the truth. She will get over it, let it go don't allow anything to fester in you. Of course your having these kind of feeling because your between stages, too old for a kid, and too young for an adult. But what I'm saying is be a kid for has long as you can you have the rest of your life to be grown. Say what you have to say and let it go because if you don't it will cause you to become a very unhappy person.

 

[compjtc]

Maybe take a second and realize how lucky you are to have a dad, a roof over your head, and food on your table. Then try to realize that there are many kids who aren't so lucky, who wish they were in your shoes. If you can try to quit thinking like a teenager for a few minutes you might realize that the only thing that determines your happiness in life is the additude you bring into it.

 

[babyb]

see now said that way its not to harsh, at this age it sort of feels like everyone expects you to grow up but many people my age do not have the metality to grow up and do it on there own, it makes me very sad to see people struggle to know i have parents that will back me as long as i need that tree to hide in from the wind is very conforting its sad everyone doesnt have that
yes these last few years here have been tough ( two very strong headed women under one roof is bound to have rough spots) but i know they have my back as do your parents ( i hope) triga22

 

[babyb]

Originally Posted by compjtc
Maybe take a second and realize how lucky you are to have a dad, a roof over your head, and food on your table. Then try to realize that there are many kids who aren't so lucky, who wish they were in your shoes. If you can try to quit thinking like a teenager for a few minutes you might realize that the only thing that determines your happiness in life is the additude you bring into it.

you can not have that attitude with a teen, they/we are very stubern at this point in time, the will will not be broken and getting smart with them just makes us close up and shutdown therefor nothing was acomplished
im haveing this same go round with my mother, its just as frusterating for the kid and it is for the parent, you might not think so but why do you think there are so many kids that are so messed up, as you grow older you learn to coup with it but learning to is what gets the teens, you have to remember they/we are learning how to grow up, yelling isnt hellping anything

 

[hot883]

Originally Posted by TriGa22
I just hate it! Between high school and normal life there is sooooooooooooo much stress. That why in the summer I live at six flags where i get rid of it.
Being in HS and having a roof over your head is so stressful. Wait to you get to the real world. Suck it up and deal with like THE REST OF US DID. Oh, BTW, I meant that in a nice way.

 

[michaeltx]

yep no matter how bad it gets without being physical you will see a dramatic difference in your outlook of it all once you are paying the bills and buying everything for a household etc.. etc.. etc.. and paying the bills. Everything is going up in price but the paycheck and it gets very stressful and I sometimes bite at my mom.
BTW I want to tell you a little story real quick after I turned 18 I went into the military to get away from a situation simliar to yours. Not the best way to go about it but I did That was the year the first desert storm started I just came out of boot camp. I was a JR in high school so I couldnt be shipped out at that time but alot of my freinds did and alot didnt make it back. It put a lot of things into prespective for me though and the whole situation made me who I am today. My mom got a divorce from him and went into a series of bad relationships fell on really hard times and health we didnt speak for about 2 years and I regret evey minute of it still to this day. since she has major health problems the roles are reversed and I am the primary bread winner and have been for several years now I am 31 and she has been living with me for about 7 years now Thats right I went from being 24 and suporting myself to a financial dependant and I would change it ** other than her health of course** think of this as a life lesson. and sit and talk to him when he is calm and in a good mood and see if there is something really going on that you are not aware of. I wish I would have because when I finally sit and talked to my mother over things I found out that she hadnt been on her insulin as a diabetic, she tried to commit suicide by drinking alot as a dibetic, had a heart stint put in and had several surgeries in just a couple of years.
Dont look back and dwell look forward and see if there is anything that you can do to maybe make things better. its not easy on the other side of 18 either and it only gets worse if you dont take control of our life and try to fix the things that you can.
a lady used to tell me that if you prayed to god to help you change the things that you can and the ability to deal with things you cant will make life easyier !!! and I whole heartedly agree with that.
sorry so long but its a very touchy subject with me that I think if you look back you can see things differently than you do know.
______ one thing is I am by NO means defending him I just understand how things can add up and you take it out on the ones you love easyier than people you arent around as often. ____
Mike