Should adultery be illegal?

[crimzy]

Someone came to me for a bit of advise and it raised a philosophical question. In Michigan, adultery was historically illegal but has been decriminalized and is really no longer enforceable (similar to marijuana use in Amsterdam). The law has never formally been repealed but is no longer acknowledged.
Generally I am more in favor of personal liberty than having the government try to force morality on people. I am pro choice, and I believe that prostitution and certain illegal substances should not be prohibited. However, the more I think about the issue of adultery, the more I think that this is one instance where the law should step in. Marital infidelity destroys families and, while I could generally care less about the adults involved, children should be protected from losing their families to such behavior. Maybe if there were criminal sanctions for adultery then people may be deterred from this action.
My only real hesitation is that I think the government should stay out of peoples' bedrooms (metaphorically speaking). But in this case, I think the potential benefit would outweigh the compromise of liberty. Any thoughts??

 

[huskychasrs]

Speaking from a military standpoint it is illegal to commit adultery and it is a responsibility to report such action IAW the UCMJ, does it get reported not much.

 

[jerthunter]

I think that giving criminal penalties for adultery would make a HUGE mess for being geing divorced. Many people going through divorce will use whatever means they can to hurt the other person and having criminal penalities would probably just add another level for people to go at each other.
Thats just a thought...

 

[crimzy]

Originally Posted by Jerthunter
I think that giving criminal penalties for adultery would make a HUGE mess for being geing divorced. Many people going through divorce will use whatever means they can to hurt the other person and having criminal penalities would probably just add another level for people to go at each other.
Thats just a thought...
True, true. Although adultery is a part of the common mudslinging that goes on in divorces anyway. I would assume that a responsible prosecutor would not charge the crime based only on the word of an aggreived spouse.

 

[reefer545]

Adultery has been part of the human nature for as long as time. It should not be illegal.
Neither should smoking marijuana. lol/

 

[msez2u]

This is a toss you for me. On one hand yes I think it should be. On the other hand I dont think the government needs to be in anyones business like that. I know in the state of Oklahoma they want it swept under the rug. They close there eyes to it. I tried to get it included in my divorce as the reason why I was asking for the divorce and everyone even the judge told me it wasn't very nice to put on paper. It might be damaging to my x husband on down the line with all that dirty laundry aired. I do think we need to start making these men and woman pay a little more for there actions. Do like my cousin did, she sued the woman who her husband was cheating with in civil court and won a good amount of money. She didn't do it for the money she did it for the principle of it. She gave all the money she won after paying attorney fee's to a chartity that helps children who have been victimized. She wanted everyone to know what this woman who was in a high power here in the state of OK was doing. As far as the militay goes, I have been a military wife since 1987 and all tho they dont approve of adultery they sure dont stop it. My husbands sgt's saw many of his troops cheating on there wives and husbands and never did anything about it. I asked him one time while we were on a TDY in italy..doesnt that make you hurt to see your men and woman doing these kinds of actions knowing they are married and I was told...What happens TDY stays TDY and 3 days later I was told I have to leave the base and go back home to the states. So you tell me why you think I was asked to leave......

 

[lazypinoy]

Originally Posted by REEFER545
Adultery has been part of the human nature for as long as time. It should not be illegal.
Neither should smoking marijuana. lol/

i second that

 

[socal57che]

I say yes.
If marriage is a legal, binding agreement then adultery should be considered illegal. Seems simple when looked at from that angle.
This is aside from the fact that it's just plain WRONG.

 

[reefer545]

While I dont condone such behaviour, there is nothing in the legal binding of marriage that depicts not sleeping with other people. What about swingers? I know more than 5 couples who are happily married, but swing. Its just not realistic, practical, or mitigating without video or audio record, and even that can forged.

 

[reefforbrains]

What about open relationships?
The intercourse portion of the equasion is insignifigant to some relationships. Giving away authority for the individual couples to make thier own choices about that sort of thing would be a very slippery slope in the making.
As for enforcement of biblical law, that is again in the eyes of the beholder. While stealing and violence are easy to agree with since they fall into similar lines of common sense, other items such as manogomy and so on are purley at the discretion of the participant of the union/marrage/relationship.
Just my view, I think cheating on a spouse/ girlfriend/boyfriend/ parter ect is low down for sure. To make legislature for such things is purley an acedemic gestre and would a bureaucratic nightmare to try an enforce. Would cause more harm than good.
JMO

 

[beth]

While I don't see criminalizing adultery, I do see much stiffer civil consequences that should be leveled if divorce is the end result.

 

[reefforbrains]

This is curious,
Stiffer civil penalties? Such as?
Civil or criminal, either way it is agreeing to some sort of grounds for liability that would constitute a translation into compensation to someone for anothers "personal" actions am I wrong?
Horrible and hurtful in one of the worst ways to some folks, but certainly not a crime in my eyes.
please do elaborate, this I know is just a odd topic think tank but I am curious at what "stiffer penalties" would be considered in your view?

 

[m0nk]

I am personally affected by this question as the reason for my divorce was my ex-wife's infidelity. It destroyed my family and as a result my son is living with me, not her. I think it should be illegal only for the purpose of child custody issues, considering that just filing divorce for adultery rarely has any affect. In most states, the woman gets custody awarded by default with no valid reason, and in some cases, to the detriment of the child. I think that if someone is unfaithful in a marital relationship they should have no rights, nor should they be trusted, to raising the child (children). There is something sinister in the mind of adulterers and they shouldn't be allowed to corrupt their kids. I wouldn't let it happen to my child, and I don't think anyone should let it happen to theirs.

 

[renogaw]

I don't think adultery should be governtmentally illegal. there's nothing in marriage liscenses about being faithful to each other btw (i went through 10 states' liscense requirements marriageliscense.com). mostly just making sure that people are of age and not already married.
not that i'm one (wifey's enough for me but what about swingers? you let the govt criminalize adultry and you may be taking away some consenting adults' fun...

 

[jmick]

Interesting thread.
As far as making it a criminal offense, I'd say no way. I'd imagine at one time or another a large percentage of married men and women cheat (I believe over the last 10 years the percentage of women has greatly increased). I am not condoning it but it happens for various reasons and is to a certain extent human nature.
That said, I think there could be civil penalties levied against the spouse who engages in it. I think it'd be fair if a wife cheated on her husband and ruined the marriage then the husband should not be obligated to pay her Alimony and should be given more rights with the children.
Who we marry is probably the most important choice we will ever make in our lives. We need to make sure the person we marry is as committed to us as we are to them. Marriage is not an easy thing and it takes a lot of effort to keep the lines of communication open (especially when you have kids) and to take the time for each other. Also, you can't hold grudges and you need to realize that it is a compromise and you need to give in sometimes for the betterment of the marriage even if it pains you to do so.

 

[crimzy]

I think the problem is that it does happen too often, which is why there should be a criminal deterrant even just for the sake of the children affected by all of these people.
Much has been said about penalizing people civilly or in divorce proceedings, as opposed to criminally. The problem, however, is that civil actions require proof by a preponderance of evidence (one person's testimony can be enough). Divorce proceedings require even less proof. Criminal proceedings would generally require some objective evidence, other than simple mudslinging accusations. To this end, I think that the way things are done now make for an administrative nightmare in enforcement.
I understand that there are voluntary swingers and that personal liberty is important. However I think the protection of the family unit is more important than this minor compromise of personal liberty. JMO

 

[rylan1]

I think there should be some civil penalties. Our jails are already crowed enough. One of my wife's friends is going through this now and is thinking of hiring a PI... Its sad because she was the main bread winner as a Pharmceutical Rep and she took off because they have a 2 yr old and just had twins not to long ago. The husband as I hear leaves at 7am and doesn't come home until after midnight all the time... She is really attractive and seems pretty nice... I feel sorry for her because I know its difficult because she is raising 3 young children with no help and its just a bad situation, and he seems to not care about her or his children's well being

 

[rylan1]

Originally Posted by crimzy
I think the problem is that it does happen too often, which is why there should be a criminal deterrant even just for the sake of the children affected by all of these people.
Much has been said about penalizing people civilly or in divorce proceedings, as opposed to criminally. The problem, however, is that civil actions require proof by a preponderance of evidence (one person's testimony can be enough). Divorce proceedings require even less proof. Criminal proceedings would generally require some objective evidence, other than simple mudslinging accusations. To this end, I think that the way things are done now make for an administrative nightmare in enforcement.
I understand that there are voluntary swingers and that personal liberty is important. However I think the protection of the family unit is more important than this minor compromise of personal liberty. JMO
the family structure seems to be the downfall to society. A lack of it seems to cause most of the trouble people get themselves into later in life. Whether its an absent father or abusive parent(s)

 

[renogaw]

Originally Posted by crimzy
I understand that there are voluntary swingers and that personal liberty is important. However I think the protection of the family unit is more important than this minor compromise of personal liberty. JMO

yes, but you can't start down that slippery slope...
example:
agawam govt passed a ruling saying you cannot let people park on your property and leave the car on the property. they were TRYING to prevent people from letting people park on their property and going to six flags. what it prevented was people leaving on church busses, parking on parking lots for the big fair going soon, etc etc etc.
after a couple weeks, they changed it so you had to have a permit to accept money for parking on your property. would have been a total nightmare.
the govt shouldn't be in our affairs as much as they are.

 

[redinator]

If both spouses agree, then why not. It's just $ex