The "DO NOT..." Advice List for Saltwater Aquarists

[mistylab]

Originally posted by neutronics
DO NOT taste your tank water to determine the salinity level.
DO NOT place your face too near the tank and stare at it for hours!
Been there done that, it tastes bad.
Your dog will be mad at you if you do the latter, believe me, I know.
bulldawg, well, actually a German Labrador Pointer.

 

[mistylab]

Originally posted by Dacia
DO NOT lose sleep posting things on saltwaterfish.com or beliefnet.com all night long becuase you will regret it the next day when you have to get up and go to work...
Done this numerous times. Sometimes I regret finding this site, other times I just think, "DUH!"

 

[mistylab]

Originally posted by sammystingray
DO NOT poke me with your finger in unmentionable areas while I am balanced one foot on a step ladder trying to clean the bottom of the 90 gallon.

What?! But, but, but, now what do I do? I'm a practical joker, you've gotta let me have some fun just kidding

 

[squidd]

DO NOT Forget to "securely" refasten the cover on your bottle of Garlic after putting a few drops on your fish's food!!!
It WILL spill and if you think a drop on your fingers is bad, try half a bottle on the carpet!!!
DO NOT ask me how I know this!!!

 

[mistylab]

BTW, My mother is trying to quit smoking, and she thinks I won't live past 20? Jeez, I'm close. I'm prolly closer than anyone on the site, well, I doubt it, but still, smokers shouldn't make fun of stupid risks. I guess she's commenting on the fact that I've nearly gotten myself killed numerous times this summer, but, I guess God was watchin' me, got pwans fur me
Back on subject, Do Not smoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[sinner's girl]

"definately don't smoke. A LFS nearby me called "The Aquarium" in Fort Worth smells like nothing but cigarette smoke from the insant you walk in. THey have had several salt water crashes and are trying to get their tanks up again."
Good, now another good reason not to let my mom smoke inside...(i only let her last time because she was cleaning, and who wants to p1$$ someone off who is cleaning your place for free?)
DO not spend all day posting while your poss is out of town when you should be working. She'll notice that nothing is done (I hope she doesn't notice...bad idea to leave me here alone, with a computer...)
Do not kid yourself into thinking "i'm going to go to sfw.com for a 5 mins to see what's up. an hour, two or three you may still be there.
Oh, do no play on swf.com instead of studying.
do no tell your prof that the reason your paper isn't ready is because you stayed up all night because you were worried about your fish (they don't care, trust me).
do not think you will not get funny looks when you say "sorry, i've got to get home to my fish..."

 

[cyslyde]

Ok Can't resist....
Originally posted by Mistylab
I second the cat thing, my cat is declawed, so she can't get the fish, but she sure knows how to make the water level go down, I don't know how she drinks it, I keep salt in all of my tanks, even the fw, YUCK again!
Don't go from 2 fw tanks too one sw tank without asking your cats permission first.... (wood floors and sw spit from cat do not mix)
posted by two others
Do not show your brand new fish too your cats before you go to bed at night and leave the lid open!
Do not leave your aquarium uncovered if you have a cat... He will figure a way to get that prize fish.

NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, Underestimate the power of your cat and her sister's ability to get into your tank when she/they really really really want too.... even if they don't like water!
found next morning... almost every invert with claws on floor, and favorite coral beauty gasping for air half dead! fish did survive after some (lots of) TLC
again forgot who orig posted
do no tell your prof that the reason your paper isn't ready is because you stayed up all night because you were worried about your fish (they don't care, trust me).


DO NOT get caught by your prof while reading SWF forums when your supposed to be working on your website, then try and convince him you were only doing research and were thinking about putting a forum on it needless to say he didn't care much either
and finnally an orriginal
Do Not leave water buckets, salt and other cleaning supplies out when you finnally get your prospective new gf over to your effiency apt after going out.... trust me she'll think you spend waaaayyy too much time on your fish, and after she does research at lfs thinks you have more money than a small third world country and your totally cheap when it comes to her.... this equates to several dozen roses, tedy bears, and countless expensive looking trinkets that have since been sent/ brought to her home/ place of work trying to show your willing to spend money on her too... at least her parents and work assoicates think i'm really romantic... and totaly hooked

 

[sleasia]

don't leave on a day trip until you get the email confimation specifically stating when your fish delivery will arrive....

 

[infalable]

DO NOT forget to read about the giant sponge.
Just had to say it.

 

[sinner's girl]

Do not "read about the giant sponge" at work, or when you don't have many hours to read.

 

[buzz]

DO NOT believe the factory rating on a protein skimmer. A CPR BakPak 2R is not powerful enough to adequately skim a 60g tank. It helps, but is not enough on it's own.

 

[iswimnotchoke]

DO NOT attempt the new hair style of angelina jolies new baby boys MOHAWK!!!
DO NOT make your fish move when swimming against filter current...do u move your dog when his head is out the window while driving?
DO NOT let your neighbor feed your fish without showing them how
DO NOT put table salt in a fishbowl and think you've made a SW tank and wonder why all your fish are dying
DO NOT have odd numbers of clowns in your tank...they are aggressive when it comes to their woman hehe
DO NOT let people no you're addicted...they may just be nice and buy you a FW fish and secretly place it in your SW tank to surprise you...then turns out u think they just wanted to trick u by putitng a dead fish in your tank

 

[lionstorm]

Do not keep buying R/O saltwater from your LFS when you could just put in your own R/O filter and never have to buy bottled water again. Salt not included

 

[barrera23]

Do not use a harpoon to catch the fish that wont come from under the rocks
Do not use fw decor in your sw tank (looks tacky and provides no hiding spaces for your fish)
Do not ask ten different people the same question and tailor all of there stories into one big FALSE story just to feed your addiction
Do not buy a Spotted Sweetlips without doing you homeowrk
Do not buy an Antanatta Lion just because he looks pretty (Hardest Lion To keep)
Do not search the web for Bali Divers who sell all fish for pennies on the dollar. How will you explain to your S/O that you bought 500 Doped up fishes for your 100 g Tank.
Dont Trust one eyed Pirates
DO NOT buy 2 cheap filters instead of buying a good one
Do not put Sea horses in your show tank
Do not try to steal fish from the LFS...If is very hard to put a fish in your pocket and make it home safe
Do not protest infront of Red Lobster
Do not try to hide your fish addiction by telling your S/O you spent your money on DOPE or EXOTIC ENTERTAINMENT
Do not try to feed your fish Fresh cut garlic to get ride of ICH

 

[scotts]

Do NOT bring in some live rock and sand to ship to your brother from work. The looks that you get and having to expain to everyone is not worth it. Even if you do get a discount for shipping from work.
Scott

 

[leboeuf]

do not..........
forget to turn off your ---. heater in the fuge while cleaning the display. Pods and marco don't do well in 100 degree water.
let a 2 yr old be unsupervised in the your office were there is easy access to sharpie pens and open fuge.
encouage your children to think that the hulk likes to swim in the "ocean with the fish"
leave a step ladder unattended, kids can climb and destroy.
and the king of all mistakes for me: do not assume that the return line on the mag drive 2400 will hold till I can get better clamps...........why am I so stupid!

 

[karajay]

DO NOT mis-interpret someone's post
JOC...anyone have the stats on the record for the longest thread?

 

[fishy88]

do not leave you hood open to answer the phone.

 

[mistylab]

Originally posted by BARRERA23
Do not buy a Spotted Sweetlips without doing you homeowrk

Even though I have this crazy idea you were getting that from me, I'll have to second that.

 

[javatech]

Originally posted by The Claw
I think this one has already been addressed, but just in case...
Don't listen to certain peoples advice on this forum, especially when their name sounds very similiar to satan. (his other names)
AKA mr. tapwater