Originally Posted by YearOfTheNick http:///forum/post/2973503
Grab something from the maternity section and say "This will look good on you"...
... I didn't mean to, I swear!
Now that is funny.
"I'll be home in 1/2hr. I'm gonna have one more beer, then show up 4hrs. later smelling like whiskey, tequila and *****"
Do you ever shut up?.........
TOOOT! TOOOT! (As she gets up and walks away from you, with a view of the caboose.)
Dang, did you eat that whole cake?
How come you never wear these anymore?
That sounds just like your mother..
Hey Shamu, answer the door will ya?
TOOOT! TOOOT! (as your walking through wallyworld with her leading the way)
Hey look, I bought you a cow bell.....
do we have to... its just not as good as it used to be...
threesome...
i wish you looked like her...
remember when you were fit n trim...
im gonna need a few more drinks to do that...
and now for a joke:
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes???
nothing youve already told her twice...
Well this evening was 55 degrees and my hubby in all seriousness says, "ooh, it's cold out, we should have dinner at hooters!"
Well not in ALL seriousness, but he did say it. I would definitely advise against that, LOL
The shadow of your butt would crush a small child
If your Bra is strong enough to hold those up it's strong enough to use to pull that truck out of the ditch.
I said I didn't mind if you let your self go a little but I never said a thing about you making multiple trips.
have those jeans shrunk???
what have you done to your hair???
what do you mean our anniversary was yesterday???
your friend is a really attractive woman...
youre just like my mother!!!
when I wanted to get married you were my third choice...
do you do anything all day???
Here is a little story that happened to me about five years ago…
I was dating this girl for TWO weeks and we were in my car sitting there by Lake Michigan talking… Now I’m hoping for something from her if you know what I mean
… And she looks at me and says… I LOVE YOU!!!
I looked like a deer in the headlights… I said WHAT? She said I LOVE YOU!! What you don’t love me…? “Now remember its been two weeks” I said I love you but I’m not in love with you
… she looks at me all weird and say… what does that mean? Well I had a tape measure in my car and I picked it up and I said “you see this tape measure? I love this tape measure but if I lost it I would get another one” We still dated for another week… I know it’s off topic kinda... but its funny so I had to share…
DD
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///forum/post/2974048
I can't believe you dates another week after that one...LOL
Hey if it was me I would have got out of the car right there and walked home...
But for real what was she thinking? Two weeks!!!! I have fallen in love with someone quick but like two months not weeks... maybe I'm the weird one...