deejeff442
Active Member
funny when i tell my wife i have to go to thegym she says you dont HAVE to go.wonder if she thinks i am up to something
Why do people cheat?
- Thread starter t316
- Start date
scotts
Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3137334
yeah, I guess the weight loss doesn't necessarily mean anything other than trying to look good for somebody else...
Or that she was nervous about it. Might explain why she was not eating, too nervous to eat.
I have not been ignoring you, just thinking about this. I mean it sounds like he beat the guy pretty bad. Which yeah everyone says they would do, but to actually do it is a different thing. You hear about people having "affairs" which is a bad thing, but to actuallly catch them in the act....... It must have been pretty bad for them to go for attempted murder and not just assault. But you would know more about that than me with your background. I don't know man, it is a lot to think about, a lot to think about.
http:///forum/post/3137334
yeah, I guess the weight loss doesn't necessarily mean anything other than trying to look good for somebody else...
Or that she was nervous about it. Might explain why she was not eating, too nervous to eat.
I have not been ignoring you, just thinking about this. I mean it sounds like he beat the guy pretty bad. Which yeah everyone says they would do, but to actually do it is a different thing. You hear about people having "affairs" which is a bad thing, but to actuallly catch them in the act....... It must have been pretty bad for them to go for attempted murder and not just assault. But you would know more about that than me with your background. I don't know man, it is a lot to think about, a lot to think about.
mantisman51
Active Member
Originally Posted by ReefForBrains
http:///forum/post/3137025
This has to be the only board I frequent that one has to cut through so much political correct BS in order to speak on any subject.
All sorts of finger pointing and exclamations about morals. Phsyco babble and complicated testimonials that just sound like a bunch of old hens. Completley forgetting about just how real the allure of a beautiful man/woman. No, not a relationship, not some deep bonding...just physical attraction. For instance some men marry beautiful women,...then wind up living with some old hag.....so they cheat. Man or woman vice versa it still hold true. Cast judgement or scowl if you like but I personally can't blame them.
The point that was made by me (the psych-babble) was this very point. Sorry, a college education tends to teach one linguistics. I'll try to take down closer to gutter level next time-for mass consumption.
http:///forum/post/3137025
This has to be the only board I frequent that one has to cut through so much political correct BS in order to speak on any subject.
All sorts of finger pointing and exclamations about morals. Phsyco babble and complicated testimonials that just sound like a bunch of old hens. Completley forgetting about just how real the allure of a beautiful man/woman. No, not a relationship, not some deep bonding...just physical attraction. For instance some men marry beautiful women,...then wind up living with some old hag.....so they cheat. Man or woman vice versa it still hold true. Cast judgement or scowl if you like but I personally can't blame them.
deejeff442
Active Member
tanks cause i dont like words with too many letters.
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by hlcroghan
http:///forum/post/3137337
Cheating.....this is a very important subject to me.
I have never ever been cheated on to my knowledge but I have been the cheater.
I have not cheated with every person that I have ever been with and I have been faithful. However, I have done it many times. Mostly when I was younger. Most of my issue was my s-ex drive. It was extraordinarly high between the ages of 16 and 26 or so. Literally unable to function without it on a regular basis, so being single was really out of the question for me and being with someone who's se-x drive waned over time was really hard. I struggled with not wanting to lose someone I genuinely cared about and loved but at the same time being in need. A lot of it has to do with the psychology of the "new shiny" thing, as I call it. You can become addicted to the endorphine rush that you get engaging someone physically for the first time which is where most se-x addictions start. Sexual psychology is my favorite subject for this very reason.
I am 28 now and thankfully that drive has reduced a lot. I can now go about my business without needing that every single day. It is quite a relief as you can imagine.
There were also a couple other times when I did it simply because my needs and desires were not being met in other ways. For instance, the lazy husband who never wants to do anything to help outand burns you out mentally and emotionally. You have a need to be shown desire and caring that you are not getting. Genetically, humans are not really meant to only be with one person. It is actually quite natural to be a polyamorous person. Meaning "many loves" or multiple partners. Remember that I am not talking about God or religion at all here.
Now, having said all this, there are many many times that I wish I had done it the right way and ended the relationship first although I have never ever been caught. I have told people after the fact though. I don't condone it in any sense. I have always felt horrible about it and never just said, "Oh well...".
I also do not drink by myself ever because it lowers my common sense and inhibitions to those sorts of things. There are many preventative measures I have to take to keep myself from those situations and try to maintain my integrity with the person I am with currently.
Wonder how many people people will think I am a man now? lol
Okay...you have my attention now. Are you a man or a woman
Thank you for your honesty in the post. Although I don't condone what you are doing (or did rather), you point out some very true and realistic points. I don't think that the situation I'm talking about involves an over-active s.ex drive, but I can understand what you are saying in your case. And unless you were diagnosed with this condition, I don't know that you are much different from most 20 somethings (other than the cheating part). We all had that drive at that age, just some acted on it more than others.
http:///forum/post/3137337
Cheating.....this is a very important subject to me.
I have never ever been cheated on to my knowledge but I have been the cheater.
I have not cheated with every person that I have ever been with and I have been faithful. However, I have done it many times. Mostly when I was younger. Most of my issue was my s-ex drive. It was extraordinarly high between the ages of 16 and 26 or so. Literally unable to function without it on a regular basis, so being single was really out of the question for me and being with someone who's se-x drive waned over time was really hard. I struggled with not wanting to lose someone I genuinely cared about and loved but at the same time being in need. A lot of it has to do with the psychology of the "new shiny" thing, as I call it. You can become addicted to the endorphine rush that you get engaging someone physically for the first time which is where most se-x addictions start. Sexual psychology is my favorite subject for this very reason.
I am 28 now and thankfully that drive has reduced a lot. I can now go about my business without needing that every single day. It is quite a relief as you can imagine.
There were also a couple other times when I did it simply because my needs and desires were not being met in other ways. For instance, the lazy husband who never wants to do anything to help outand burns you out mentally and emotionally. You have a need to be shown desire and caring that you are not getting. Genetically, humans are not really meant to only be with one person. It is actually quite natural to be a polyamorous person. Meaning "many loves" or multiple partners. Remember that I am not talking about God or religion at all here.
Now, having said all this, there are many many times that I wish I had done it the right way and ended the relationship first although I have never ever been caught. I have told people after the fact though. I don't condone it in any sense. I have always felt horrible about it and never just said, "Oh well...".
I also do not drink by myself ever because it lowers my common sense and inhibitions to those sorts of things. There are many preventative measures I have to take to keep myself from those situations and try to maintain my integrity with the person I am with currently.
Wonder how many people people will think I am a man now? lol
Okay...you have my attention now. Are you a man or a woman
Thank you for your honesty in the post. Although I don't condone what you are doing (or did rather), you point out some very true and realistic points. I don't think that the situation I'm talking about involves an over-active s.ex drive, but I can understand what you are saying in your case. And unless you were diagnosed with this condition, I don't know that you are much different from most 20 somethings (other than the cheating part). We all had that drive at that age, just some acted on it more than others.
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by Scotts
http:///forum/post/3137432
Or that she was nervous about it. Might explain why she was not eating, too nervous to eat.
I have not been ignoring you, just thinking about this. I mean it sounds like he beat the guy pretty bad. Which yeah everyone says they would do, but to actually do it is a different thing. You hear about people having "affairs" which is a bad thing, but to actuallly catch them in the act....... It must have been pretty bad for them to go for attempted murder and not just assault. But you would know more about that than me with your background. I don't know man, it is a lot to think about, a lot to think about.
If you mean nervous about the affair, then yes, that could have been the reason for the weight loss. Otherwise, she definately didn't need to lose any weight. She was quite fit and petite.
Yeah, he beat him pretty bad. The guys head is pretty messed up, and my buddy's hand as well. As far as the charges, it's technically felony assualt with intent to kill or cause serious bodily injury, along with a felony breaking and entering of an occupied residence charge for breaking down the guys door and storming up to his bedroom.
http:///forum/post/3137432
Or that she was nervous about it. Might explain why she was not eating, too nervous to eat.
I have not been ignoring you, just thinking about this. I mean it sounds like he beat the guy pretty bad. Which yeah everyone says they would do, but to actually do it is a different thing. You hear about people having "affairs" which is a bad thing, but to actuallly catch them in the act....... It must have been pretty bad for them to go for attempted murder and not just assault. But you would know more about that than me with your background. I don't know man, it is a lot to think about, a lot to think about.
If you mean nervous about the affair, then yes, that could have been the reason for the weight loss. Otherwise, she definately didn't need to lose any weight. She was quite fit and petite.
Yeah, he beat him pretty bad. The guys head is pretty messed up, and my buddy's hand as well. As far as the charges, it's technically felony assualt with intent to kill or cause serious bodily injury, along with a felony breaking and entering of an occupied residence charge for breaking down the guys door and storming up to his bedroom.
reefforbrains
Active Member
As for the original topic- I have to agree that the bahavior of his wife unfortunatley does sound like a typical cheater. No deep complex reasons other than she made a very poor choice. Or series of choices and hurt those around her.
nina&noah
Member
In a previous post, you mentioned that she was a stay at home mom. She has 2 teenage sons right? I think she may have gotten bored! She is home all day and her kids don't need her as much. Of course she didn't knowingly say "I'm bored, I think I'll have an affair," but she got a little attention and that was fun. One thing led to another and bam there you have it. Think back to adolescent crushes and the excitement that comes with them.
I'm really sorry about the situation. I hate cheaters. I often worry about what I would do if I found out my hubby was cheating. As other members have pointed out, men love beautiful women, and there is nothing beautiful about a pregnant woman who has spent the last 4 months puking!
I'm really sorry about the situation. I hate cheaters. I often worry about what I would do if I found out my hubby was cheating. As other members have pointed out, men love beautiful women, and there is nothing beautiful about a pregnant woman who has spent the last 4 months puking!
coral keeper
Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3137656
Okay...you have my attention now. Are you a man or a woman
hlcroghan is a woman.
http:///forum/post/3137656
Okay...you have my attention now. Are you a man or a woman
hlcroghan is a woman.
crypt keeper
Active Member
Originally Posted by hlcroghan
http:///forum/post/3137337
Cheating.....this is a very important subject to me.
I have never ever been cheated on to my knowledge but I have been the cheater.
I have not cheated with every person that I have ever been with and I have been faithful. However, I have done it many times. Mostly when I was younger. Most of my issue was my s-ex drive. It was extraordinarly high between the ages of 16 and 26 or so. Literally unable to function without it on a regular basis, so being single was really out of the question for me and being with someone who's se-x drive waned over time was really hard. I struggled with not wanting to lose someone I genuinely cared about and loved but at the same time being in need. A lot of it has to do with the psychology of the "new shiny" thing, as I call it. You can become addicted to the endorphine rush that you get engaging someone physically for the first time which is where most se-x addictions start. Sexual psychology is my favorite subject for this very reason.
I am 28 now and thankfully that drive has reduced a lot. I can now go about my business without needing that every single day. It is quite a relief as you can imagine.
There were also a couple other times when I did it simply because my needs and desires were not being met in other ways. For instance, the lazy husband who never wants to do anything to help outand burns you out mentally and emotionally. You have a need to be shown desire and caring that you are not getting. Genetically, humans are not really meant to only be with one person. It is actually quite natural to be a polyamorous person. Meaning "many loves" or multiple partners. Remember that I am not talking about God or religion at all here.
Now, having said all this, there are many many times that I wish I had done it the right way and ended the relationship first although I have never ever been caught. I have told people after the fact though. I don't condone it in any sense. I have always felt horrible about it and never just said, "Oh well...".
I also do not drink by myself ever because it lowers my common sense and inhibitions to those sorts of things. There are many preventative measures I have to take to keep myself from those situations and try to maintain my integrity with the person I am with currently.
Wonder how many people people will think I am a man now? lol
What are you going to do when you hit your mid 30's which is the normal peak for womens sexual drive? I think its like 32 to 36ish. Men hit theirs at around 18 which isnt fair because we have nothing and want large cars for a reason.
Minivans are a 18 year old boys best friend!
Thats also another reason why women cheat. They hit that sexual drive gotta have it at an age where most men could care less. I will be flat out honest. Im 27 now. My --- drive isnt anywhere near what it was when I was in high school and college. I was just like you. Had to have it every night. I refused to be in a relationship so I never cheated but most nights got boring doing the same routine. Almost got upset I didnt go home with somebody.
http:///forum/post/3137337
Cheating.....this is a very important subject to me.
I have never ever been cheated on to my knowledge but I have been the cheater.
I have not cheated with every person that I have ever been with and I have been faithful. However, I have done it many times. Mostly when I was younger. Most of my issue was my s-ex drive. It was extraordinarly high between the ages of 16 and 26 or so. Literally unable to function without it on a regular basis, so being single was really out of the question for me and being with someone who's se-x drive waned over time was really hard. I struggled with not wanting to lose someone I genuinely cared about and loved but at the same time being in need. A lot of it has to do with the psychology of the "new shiny" thing, as I call it. You can become addicted to the endorphine rush that you get engaging someone physically for the first time which is where most se-x addictions start. Sexual psychology is my favorite subject for this very reason.
I am 28 now and thankfully that drive has reduced a lot. I can now go about my business without needing that every single day. It is quite a relief as you can imagine.
There were also a couple other times when I did it simply because my needs and desires were not being met in other ways. For instance, the lazy husband who never wants to do anything to help outand burns you out mentally and emotionally. You have a need to be shown desire and caring that you are not getting. Genetically, humans are not really meant to only be with one person. It is actually quite natural to be a polyamorous person. Meaning "many loves" or multiple partners. Remember that I am not talking about God or religion at all here.
Now, having said all this, there are many many times that I wish I had done it the right way and ended the relationship first although I have never ever been caught. I have told people after the fact though. I don't condone it in any sense. I have always felt horrible about it and never just said, "Oh well...".
I also do not drink by myself ever because it lowers my common sense and inhibitions to those sorts of things. There are many preventative measures I have to take to keep myself from those situations and try to maintain my integrity with the person I am with currently.
Wonder how many people people will think I am a man now? lol
What are you going to do when you hit your mid 30's which is the normal peak for womens sexual drive? I think its like 32 to 36ish. Men hit theirs at around 18 which isnt fair because we have nothing and want large cars for a reason.
Thats also another reason why women cheat. They hit that sexual drive gotta have it at an age where most men could care less. I will be flat out honest. Im 27 now. My --- drive isnt anywhere near what it was when I was in high school and college. I was just like you. Had to have it every night. I refused to be in a relationship so I never cheated but most nights got boring doing the same routine. Almost got upset I didnt go home with somebody.
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by nina&noah
http:///forum/post/3137756
In a previous post, you mentioned that she was a stay at home mom. She has 2 teenage sons right? I think she may have gotten bored! She is home all day and her kids don't need her as much. Of course she didn't knowingly say "I'm bored, I think I'll have an affair," but she got a little attention and that was fun. One thing led to another and bam there you have it. Think back to adolescent crushes and the excitement that comes with them.
I'm really sorry about the situation. I hate cheaters. I often worry about what I would do if I found out my hubby was cheating. As other members have pointed out, men love beautiful women, and there is nothing beautiful about a pregnant woman who has spent the last 4 months puking!
Yes, she was a stay at home mom (now giving new meaning to term "soccer mom"). They have a 12 yr. old daughter and a 16 yr. old son (who won't speak to her).
http:///forum/post/3137756
In a previous post, you mentioned that she was a stay at home mom. She has 2 teenage sons right? I think she may have gotten bored! She is home all day and her kids don't need her as much. Of course she didn't knowingly say "I'm bored, I think I'll have an affair," but she got a little attention and that was fun. One thing led to another and bam there you have it. Think back to adolescent crushes and the excitement that comes with them.
I'm really sorry about the situation. I hate cheaters. I often worry about what I would do if I found out my hubby was cheating. As other members have pointed out, men love beautiful women, and there is nothing beautiful about a pregnant woman who has spent the last 4 months puking!
Yes, she was a stay at home mom (now giving new meaning to term "soccer mom"). They have a 12 yr. old daughter and a 16 yr. old son (who won't speak to her).
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by Scotts
http:///forum/post/3138095
Is he filing for the big D, and I don't mean Dallas.
You won't believe this, but he wants her back
Apparently she's staying some with her parents, and some with the other guy. He saw her briefly yesterday and told her that he was doing okay, he forgives her, he loves her, and he wants her to come home.
I was speechless. I don't think it's really hit him yet. I told him that I couldn't do it, but I know it's possible with some people, maybe with some therapy. It would be a little more understandable if she would have immediately been remorseful and begging for forgiveness. But no, she's staying with the guy for right now. I'd have all of her belongings sitting in the driveway with new locks on the doors.
http:///forum/post/3138095
Is he filing for the big D, and I don't mean Dallas.
You won't believe this, but he wants her back
Apparently she's staying some with her parents, and some with the other guy. He saw her briefly yesterday and told her that he was doing okay, he forgives her, he loves her, and he wants her to come home.
I was speechless. I don't think it's really hit him yet. I told him that I couldn't do it, but I know it's possible with some people, maybe with some therapy. It would be a little more understandable if she would have immediately been remorseful and begging for forgiveness. But no, she's staying with the guy for right now. I'd have all of her belongings sitting in the driveway with new locks on the doors.
stdreb27
Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3138108
You won't believe this, but he wants her back
Apparently she's staying some with her parents, and some with the other guy. He saw her briefly yesterday and told her that he was doing okay, he forgives her, he loves her, and he wants her to come home.
I was speechless. I don't think it's really hit him yet. I told him that I couldn't do it, but I know it's possible with some people, maybe with some therapy. It would be a little more understandable if she would have immediately been remorseful and begging for forgiveness. But no, she's staying with the guy for right now. I'd have all of her belongings sitting in the driveway with new locks on the doors.
It depends on how you look at it. Statistically speaking, kids are more likely to get in trouble in a single parent home...
And then you have kids who are old enough to actually do some damage. If he really believes this is a one time thing, then it may just be good decision...
http:///forum/post/3138108
You won't believe this, but he wants her back
Apparently she's staying some with her parents, and some with the other guy. He saw her briefly yesterday and told her that he was doing okay, he forgives her, he loves her, and he wants her to come home.
I was speechless. I don't think it's really hit him yet. I told him that I couldn't do it, but I know it's possible with some people, maybe with some therapy. It would be a little more understandable if she would have immediately been remorseful and begging for forgiveness. But no, she's staying with the guy for right now. I'd have all of her belongings sitting in the driveway with new locks on the doors.
It depends on how you look at it. Statistically speaking, kids are more likely to get in trouble in a single parent home...
And then you have kids who are old enough to actually do some damage. If he really believes this is a one time thing, then it may just be good decision...
scotts
Active Member
WOW! It is funny as I was thinking about what I would type I realized it was pretty much exactly what you wrote. Ok getting back together with her.... whatever we do not know what is going on with him and what his life is like, but the fact that she is staying with the dude. What the ??????
that is just bad!
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/3138123
It depends on how you look at it. Statistically speaking, kids are more likely to get in trouble in a single parent home...
And then you have kids who are old enough to actually do some damage. If he really believes this is a one time thing, then it may just be good decision...
No doubt on the kid statistic...100% agree. But personally, if it were me, it wouldn't matter if it was just a one time thing...It's Over!
Not sure if I mentioned this little tid bit before, or that it really makes a difference in the conversation here, but these two couples were "best friends". He with him, and her with the guy's wife. Just adds insult to injury, but just thought I would throw that out. In talking with him today, I picked up on the fact that he was repeatedly blaming himself, for letting this happen. He showed no disrepect or ill will towards his wife, just really down on himself for allowing this to happen. No matter what I tried to re-direct the cause to, he remained focused on getting his wife back and how he must of some way overlooked this coming.
http:///forum/post/3138123
It depends on how you look at it. Statistically speaking, kids are more likely to get in trouble in a single parent home...
And then you have kids who are old enough to actually do some damage. If he really believes this is a one time thing, then it may just be good decision...
No doubt on the kid statistic...100% agree. But personally, if it were me, it wouldn't matter if it was just a one time thing...It's Over!
Not sure if I mentioned this little tid bit before, or that it really makes a difference in the conversation here, but these two couples were "best friends". He with him, and her with the guy's wife. Just adds insult to injury, but just thought I would throw that out. In talking with him today, I picked up on the fact that he was repeatedly blaming himself, for letting this happen. He showed no disrepect or ill will towards his wife, just really down on himself for allowing this to happen. No matter what I tried to re-direct the cause to, he remained focused on getting his wife back and how he must of some way overlooked this coming.
meowzer
Moderator
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3138555
No doubt on the kid statistic...100% agree. But personally, if it were me, it wouldn't matter if it was just a one time thing...It's Over!
Not sure if I mentioned this little tid bit before, or that it really makes a difference in the conversation here, but these two couples were "best friends". He with him, and her with the guy's wife. Just adds insult to injury, but just thought I would throw that out. In talking with him today, I picked up on the fact that he was repeatedly blaming himself, for letting this happen. He showed no disrepect or ill will towards his wife, just really down on himself for allowing this to happen. No matter what I tried to re-direct the cause to, he remained focused on getting his wife back and how he must of some way overlooked this coming.
WOW....yeah, you left out the friend part....IMO that makes it worse....I think your friend needs a really good friend to be there for him....
SORRY T....this sounds like a really hard situation
http:///forum/post/3138555
No doubt on the kid statistic...100% agree. But personally, if it were me, it wouldn't matter if it was just a one time thing...It's Over!
Not sure if I mentioned this little tid bit before, or that it really makes a difference in the conversation here, but these two couples were "best friends". He with him, and her with the guy's wife. Just adds insult to injury, but just thought I would throw that out. In talking with him today, I picked up on the fact that he was repeatedly blaming himself, for letting this happen. He showed no disrepect or ill will towards his wife, just really down on himself for allowing this to happen. No matter what I tried to re-direct the cause to, he remained focused on getting his wife back and how he must of some way overlooked this coming.
WOW....yeah, you left out the friend part....IMO that makes it worse....I think your friend needs a really good friend to be there for him....
SORRY T....this sounds like a really hard situation
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by meowzer
http:///forum/post/3138556
WOW....yeah, you left out the friend part....IMO that makes it worse....I think your friend needs a really good friend to be there for him....
SORRY T....this sounds like a really hard situation
Well, although this couple was probably considered their "best friends", they only have a history of about 2 yrs. They met thru the soccer team...as mentioned, the other guy was the coach. My buddy (cousin by marriage), still has long term friends he can lean on, but still....I agree with you, this makes it that much worse. I think this is why he beat him so bad too, just the betrayal.
http:///forum/post/3138556
WOW....yeah, you left out the friend part....IMO that makes it worse....I think your friend needs a really good friend to be there for him....
SORRY T....this sounds like a really hard situation
Well, although this couple was probably considered their "best friends", they only have a history of about 2 yrs. They met thru the soccer team...as mentioned, the other guy was the coach. My buddy (cousin by marriage), still has long term friends he can lean on, but still....I agree with you, this makes it that much worse. I think this is why he beat him so bad too, just the betrayal.