worst labor day ever!

[ufo8micats]

This labor day I had some friends over for a cookout and one of my friends child decided to wonder in the house and help me out with feeding the fish.
I walked in the house to discover a whole bottle of fish food in the water and the kids hands in my aquarium. I immediately started netting the flakes out and did a partial water change, while my guests were enjoying theirselves outside.
I had to be at work in 4hrs, and did not have the time to monitor the tank throught the night. When i returned home this morning, the majority of my stock was dead. Only 3 survived.
I am a 35 year old woman that buckled to my knees and cried profusely over the loss of my fish. The majority of them have been with me for over 3 years, and the newest in the tank was well over a year old.
I feel like my heart is broken, my eyes well up with tears each time that i think about my lost friends. I had a small burial service for them this afternoon. and the other 3 i took to my lfs, where i cried my eyes out.
My tank is in shambles. it is empty right now, and I have to start all over again.
What do i do now? I want my fish back. and they are never coming back. I feel like a failure. I was supposed to protect and love them, and it only took a minute of turning my back for their demise.
As I am writing this my eyes are welling up, and everything is getting blurry.
My question to everyone is, how do i bring myself to start over?

 

[crimzy]

That really is too bad. I feel for you.
However, don't you think that you are taking this a bit hard? Not trying to be disrespectful here but there will always be losses periodically in this hobby. We cannot simulate the ocean because our fish are subject to human error. Do the best that you can and don't beat yourslef up about losses too much.

 

[tdog7879]

Originally Posted by ufo8micats
http:///forum/post/2744438
This labor day I had some friends over for a cookout and one of my friends child decided to wonder in the house and help me out with feeding the fish.
I walked in the house to discover a whole bottle of fish food in the water and the kids hands in my aquarium. I immediately started netting the flakes out and did a partial water change, while my guests were enjoying theirselves outside.
I had to be at work in 4hrs, and did not have the time to monitor the tank throught the night. When i returned home this morning, the majority of my stock was dead. Only 3 survived.
I am a 35 year old woman that buckled to my knees and cried profusely over the loss of my fish. The majority of them have been with me for over 3 years, and the newest in the tank was well over a year old.
I feel like my heart is broken, my eyes well up with tears each time that i think about my lost friends. I had a small burial service for them this afternoon. and the other 3 i took to my lfs, where i cried my eyes out.
My tank is in shambles. it is empty right now, and I have to start all over again.
What do i do now? I want my fish back. and they are never coming back. I feel like a failure. I was supposed to protect and love them, and it only took a minute of turning my back for their demise.
As I am writing this my eyes are welling up, and everything is getting blurry.
My question to everyone is, how do i bring myself to start over?
Sorry for your loss.....Just start working on doing a reef tank! cheer up you got the tsnk and the equip just give it another shot go out and look for a fish or coral that you really like and start there! Good luck

 

[ufo8micats]

I don't have children and my pets are my world. I talked to my fish, and said good morning each day to them. They were happy and healthy one day and in a matter of hours they were dead. My boyfriend said the same thing about my crying all day. I understand that their will be losses with this hobby and I can respect that. It was just a big loss all at once that I am having trouble dealing with.

 

[jerryatrick]

Very common story believe or not and it always involves children and intoxicated adults. All your fish lived a long life compared to people who cycle with damsels or ignore thier tanks.
Sounds as if you didn't have a reef tank because you seemed more concerned about the fish. As Tdog said, why not try it out?

 

[indigobluetc]

I lost my tank today as well.. Had to give the fish away so they would have a fighting chance.. Dont know if they will pull through.. Ya my day sucked as well I know how it is to loose stuff like that.

 

[durag14]

i have been in your shoes b4 my cousin did the same thing to me i was in class and got the call my fish tank was filled with food and most of my fish were not moving i know the feeling of loss i learned a lot from it now i keep the fish food far from my tank and i also used the loss to upgrade i had a 55g fowlr and now i have a 125g reef just remember that its not the end off the world u can always start over just use your loss for good and start over

 

[jerryatrick]

Originally Posted by durag14
http:///forum/post/2744504
i have been in your shoes b4 my cousin did the same thing to me i was in class and got the call my fish tank was filled with food and most of my fish were not moving i know the feeling of loss i learned a lot from it now i keep the fish food far from my tank and i also used the loss to upgrade i had a 55g fowlr and now i have a 125g reef just remember that its not the end off the world u can always start over just use your loss for good and start over
Hiding the food is key here. Also probably the greatest run on sentence ever created by man because I didn't realize it had zero periods or commas until I read it a second time.

 

[t316]

Hiding the food is key here.
+1....

But still, with kids around, it could have been anything so don't beat yourself up. There was even a thread on here recently about an adult guest who cracked a tank, so anything is possible. So sorry though.

 

[squidward]

That's sad to hear. I don't suggest doing a reef tank though. Corals(expensive ones) are even more fragile than fish and will cost you more heartache/headache/money. Keep your head up and slowly start over.

 

[yearofthenick]

I think you developed a relationship with the fish that we all can empathize with. I just lost my atlantic tang and I got a little misty-eyed when I found him.
I think the best thing for you to do is mourn their loss and consider it a learning experience. Some people may be telling you that you're overreacting, but if it's how you feel, then it matters. It's ok, because death happens all the time. You just felt death's bite. Again, it's something to learn from.
Try to look at it in a more positive way. This is a great opportunity for you to start fresh. Tomorrow is a new day. Enjoy it.

 

[ufo8micats]

thanks to all for your words of sympathy and advice. Yes, I now will hide the fish food, and my house is now a kid free zone.
My tank was a fish only tank, and i am trying to think positive. and this is the perfect opportunity to try something new, and haven't decided what to do.
What is the easiest kind of tank to start up? has the hardiest specimen?
any ideas are welcome.

 

[scsinet]

Although I imagine the parents of this kid and perhaps the kid him/herself may feel just as bad over what happened to your tank, it's situations like these where I really grumble about why parents do not properly supervise their children in other peoples homes... stores, etc.
I'm sure many parents will be quick to point out that I lack a level of understanding because I myself do not have children, but I'm sorry... when I was young and we went to someone's house - especially one that was not child proofed - we were expected to behave ourselves, and things like horseplay or touching our hosts things without asking did not go unpunished. A different time... maybe... but I wasn't a kid that long ago. And rest assured, my kids will be taught to behave themselves.
My point is, you shouldn't HAVE to hide your fish food. That doesn't mean you shouldn't, but it's not your fault this happened. It's probably not even the kid's fault...

 

[sueandherzoo]

So sorry to hear about your loss and I can TOTALLY relate to you being so emotional. They are not "just fish".... they are living creatures. I have outdoor ponds and one year I lost 3 of my oldest and dearest koi - it broke my heart and I couldn't go out to the pond without breaking down all over again.... it just wasn't the same without them there. You DO become attached to living creatures regardless of what type of creature and you feel a sense of responsibility to always do what's in its best interest. Guilt is always part of the factor, unfortunately. When it was time to re-open my ponds the next spring I really didn't have my heart into it - I was still upset over the loss, but the pond and the equipment were all there - it would have seemed a shame to let it go to waste, so start again I did. I have to admit I'm probably not as attached to this batch as I was the original crew, but maybe that's a good thing. It's now an enjoyable hobby without as much emotional investment.
Start again - there is so much pleasure to be gained from this hobby.
Sue

 

[rcreations]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I get attached to my fish too. Some people think it's weird and that they're just fish but I do. Shame on the parents of those kids for not looking after them and letting them wonder around unsupervised. Honestly, I blame the parents, not the kids.
But blame aside, I guess all you can do is start over. Gives you the unfortunate opportunity to try new fish combinations. Try fish with different personality this time. Good luck!

 

[hlcroghan]

I feel your pain. I lost a butterfly koi that I had had for over two years and I was in my car crying because it was my fault (moving accident). I was so upset. The entire bucket that I had them in tipped over in my car. I lost all of my fish. He hung on the longest and was my little trooper. I could see him looking at me right before he died and I just started crying because it was my fault that I wasn't more careful and he had trusted me to take care of him. I know goldfish are supposed to be dumb fish but he was so cute and he just loved playing with my hands in the tank. Grrr, I know it sucks.

 

[jbird0420]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I recently lost a Koran angel that was extremly ill, to great health and 3 months later DEAD! He was swimming around fine and eating one minute, the next he was dead, all in under 3 min!!!

I'm a 30 yr old man and I cried like a baby that nite! My girlfriend can verify that.
***I agree with SCSInet, if parents would watch their KIDS!****
Originally Posted by SCSInet
http:///forum/post/2744821
Although I imagine the parents of this kid and perhaps the kid him/herself may feel just as bad over what happened to your tank, it's situations like these where I really grumble about why parents do not properly supervise their children in other peoples homes... stores, etc.
I'm sure many parents will be quick to point out that I lack a level of understanding because I myself do not have children, but I'm sorry... when I was young and we went to someone's house - especially one that was not child proofed - we were expected to behave ourselves, and things like horseplay or touching our hosts things without asking did not go unpunished. A different time... maybe... but I wasn't a kid that long ago. And rest assured, my kids will be taught to behave themselves.
My point is, you shouldn't HAVE to hide your fish food. That doesn't mean you shouldn't, but it's not your fault this happened. It's probably not even the kid's fault...

 

[sueandherzoo]

I'm a newbie so please forgive my ignorance but I can't help but wonder why excess food killed the fish so quickly? I can understand that decomposing stuff would cause an ammonia spike and ultimately kill the fish but it sounds like this happened in less than 24 hours. Was it the stress of the kids' hands in the tank? Too much food causing lack of oxygen? I know it doesn't make things better or bring the fish back but I always need to know WHY things happen.
Thanks in advance.
Sue

 

[hlcroghan]

Actually most fish will eat themselves to death if there is too much food. Unfortunately they do not have a switch that tells them when it's too much. Then they get a blockage and they die or their stomachs can't hold it all I believe.

 

[socal57che]

Originally Posted by ufo8micats
http:///forum/post/2744460
I don't have children and my pets are my world. I talked to my fish, and said good morning each day to them. They were happy and healthy one day and in a matter of hours they were dead. My boyfriend said the same thing about my crying all day. I understand that their will be losses with this hobby and I can respect that. It was just a big loss all at once that I am having trouble dealing with.
It's Ok to cry when you hurt. We're made that way. It's part of getting better and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
The only thing you can do is learn from it and give up or start rebuilding.
I vote for rebuilding.
SCSInet, I agree wholeheartedly! If I had pulled this stunt I wouldn't have been able to sit for a week. The thing is, we learned that there were consequences for our actions early in life and I don't recall ever having to be disciplined for acting up at someone elses home.