A suggestion about leaving the hobby when you have a baby.

[ibanez]

I notice a lot of people who sell everything and get out of the hobby when they have a baby. It is just my personal opinion, but I always think "why the he77 would you want to do that". Babies grow up quick, and I think it is very important for them to grow up around things like this. A tank takes time, but not that much time. If you got into this hobby, I assume it is because you love it. If you love it, it isn't hard to find time to do it. So taking care of it for the first year or two is harder. I have not found it to be that difficult and I have had tanks since my son being born and he is now 3+. He loves everything about our tanks, which we have 3 and soon to be 4. He can just about name every critter and coral in there. Every day he eats in front of the tank and watches it for a good half hour per meal. I think this is very good for them. My suggestion is, don't get rid of the tanks!!! You will kick yourself if you ever want back in this hobby and have to purchase stuff again. And your child will kick you when they grow up because you didn't have those things when they were a child. DON'T DO IT PEOPLE.
I would love to hear others thoughts on this.

 

[flower]

Originally Posted by IbanEz
http:///forum/post/3257875
I notice a lot of people who sell everything and get out of the hobby when they have a baby. It is just my personal opinion, but I always think "why the he77 would you want to do that". Babies grow up quick, and I think it is very important for them to grow up around things like this. A tank takes time, but not that much time. If you got into this hobby, I assume it is because you love it. If you love it, it isn't hard to find time to do it. So taking care of it for the first year or two is harder. I have not found it to be that difficult and I have had tanks since my son being born and he is now 3+. He loves everything about our tanks, which we have 3 and soon to be 4. He can just about name every critter and coral in there. Every day he eats in front of the tank and watches it for a good half hour per meal. I think this is very good for them. My suggestion is, don't get rid of the tanks!!! You will kick yourself if you ever want back in this hobby and have to purchase stuff again. And your child will kick you when they grow up because you didn't have those things when they were a child. DON'T DO IT PEOPLE.
I would love to hear others thoughts on this.

Every household is different. You can’t decide for somebody else. Maybe they don’t love the tank like you do. Maybe they need the money from selling the tank for baby food or milk. We just don’t know. So if someone says they must sell, I take their word for it.
The only time I advise to hang in there is if they got discouraged or bored with it.
Me, I don’t consider it home unless it has some kind of fish tank in it. If I had to shut it down, and during my divorce I did…I stored my stuff and sold the live stock. When I was settled I just mixed my salt and got started….Now I do what I want, and buy what coral I want...Single life is good.

 

[meowzer]

I have to wonder Ibanez if you have ever had to count pennies to buy your child's formula or diapers.....what would you buy first salt, floss, fish food....or what your child needs.....
I love my tanks, but there is NO WAY I would have been able to keep them the way they deserve when my children were babies.....priorities my dear......and fish food or supplies did not fit

 

[ibanez]

From what I have observed, the people who have to count pennies to buy baby diapers and such, don't count what they spend on smokes, booz, tv, mcdonalds........ My advice is purely a different view, not an order. I didn't decide for someone else, I am purely a voice of reason, making a suggestion. That way, when you read this you think, maybe a year down the road I would regret it.
Kids love this stuff, it is a fact. And you people count what you spend on the hobby, but have you ever counted what you spend on television, movies, coffee, alcohol? I learned how to be smart with my money. I drive a newer mercedes, and have a nice suv, not because was given anything by my parents. Sure they help out by not charging me an arm and a leg for rent, but I am able to do what I am doing now because I learned where to spend and not spend my money. I paid cash for the vehicles I drive, and I worked for that cash. I saved, spent smart, and hunt and fish for food, and am successful at that. I didn't quit expect the bitter old hag response here. Nothing in my origional post should have been offensive. Now this post may be offensive, but your response pisses me off. I feel your assuming I am a spoiled child because I don't have to work right now, and am going to school. Trust me, I have earned this opportunity. I didn't fall into debt like millions of other americans buying everything they can before they get the cash. I have made wise investments. And I have experienced hard times in my ten years of marriage.
As far as buying salt, or fish food before what my child needs. I don't think it comes down to that. It comes down to sacrificing other things to keep going on this hobby, like eating out, personal vices, other expensive recreational garbage like 30 dollars to go to the movies.
GEEZZ people. Read the post and think about it before you respond.

 

[meowzer]

Originally Posted by IbanEz
http:///forum/post/3257875
I would love to hear others thoughts on this.
Do you really? Or do you just want to hear the ones that agree with what you are saying???
I have no problems with what you are saying.....doesn't mean my opinions or anyone elses are wrong either

 

[ibanez]

Yes, I want to hear your thoughts on this, and what your thoughts were, didn't in my opinion pertain to what my origional post was. I didn't say "if you have to choose between salt and what your baby needs, go with salt". I didn't call out your personal experience. I just gave a point of view for people considering about getting out when having a baby. If you don't think my advise is good, then that is fine. I don't see how you could think I was telling someone to buy salt over baby food.

 

[al&burke]

I look at it as positive things you expose your kids too. My wife and I have only one, 8 years old - he is the Burke in Al&Burke. We were lucky to have one - I was diagnosed with cancer in the spring of 2000 and had surgery immediatley. With the type of cancer I had they watched my blood markers and unfortunately i had to start Chemo in the fall - he was conceived just before I started chemo, luckily enough. I think if you show your kids repect for living things and expose them to all kinds of different things they learn to enjoy things more especially in the electronic world we live in. As far as selling off your tank - to each his own. the next time you see yours kid pointing at something in the tank you haven't seen before its worth every penny - to me anyways. It seems like my son knows the names of more fish than I do, I have spent some good quality time with him wandering around the LFS. Everybody is different and have different priorities. Enjoy life - it is too short.

 

[speg]

I'd have to agree with Meowzer... sometimes people have to take priority.. A child deserves a bunch of attention in order for them to grow up well. If you're able to raise a kid and keep your hobbies then good for you. Some people have to make sacrifices in order to take care of what's more important.
I had to make sacrifices in order to be with my wife and it was worth it, but my life can't be what it used to be. If I bring a child into the picture then I'll have to make more sacrifices... I don't know if my fish tank will be one, but I'd throw away a fish tank for my child.

 

[meowzer]

Originally Posted by IbanEz
http:///forum/post/3257937
Yes, I want to hear your thoughts on this, and what your thoughts were, didn't in my opinion pertain to what my origional post was. I didn't say "if you have to choose between salt and what your baby needs, go with salt". I didn't call out your personal experience. I just gave a point of view for people considering about getting out when having a baby. If you don't think my advise is good, then that is fine. I don't see how you could think I was telling someone to buy salt over baby food.

That's not what I said at all....I said your advice is fine....it just doesn't work for everyone that's all...If you can keep it...YES...do it....I agree with that....but it's just not always possible.....
sorry if I strayed off your OP....LOL ...

 

[ibanez]

Originally Posted by meowzer
http:///forum/post/3257918
I have to wonder Ibanez if you have ever had to count pennies to buy your child's formula or diapers.....what would you buy first salt, floss, fish food....or what your child needs.....
/
and Flower's
You can’t decide for somebody else. Maybe they don’t love the tank like you do. Maybe they need the money from selling the tank for baby food or milk.
Is what set me off, cause that was not at all what I was saying. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves. I was just saying think about this........... and don't rush into it. Maybe look at something else you would rather sacrifice, because in a year if not before, the kid is gonna love it. Obviously, those with 200 gallon plus tanks face a different set up, but most people I see selling are well under 100 gallons. I don't want to see people leave this hobby. If they love it, I want them in it. If they hate it, that is a different story, because then they wont take care of the animals. This is all I mean.

 

[scottnlisa]

My kid comes 1st and my wife comes 2nd. If they want something that costs alot, bye bye tank. I don't have to worry about my wife getting pregant because if she does I am suing a doctor who performed my vascetomy (LOL). But seriously, I consider my tank money on reserve. If something should happen where I need money quick, I know I could sell my tank sameday or even the next day. Quick cash. That's it.

 

[ibanez]

On that note, that is a poor investment, because you will never get out of it what you put into it. I consider my savings account money on reserve, if anything should happen where I need money quick, I would dip into my savings. Here is an idea, for another thread, if you cant put 20 bucks or so a week into savings, you won't be able to take care of a tank. Dumb me just assuming people in this hobby would be smart enough to save for a rainy day before they play. I don't consider my tanks emergency reserves. They are recreation. Instead of going to the movies, or out to eat, or starbucks, or brand new cars, I choose to have tanks. I just don't get the mentality that says, it's taking care of my family or tanks. It doesn't always have to be between the two. I AM NOT SAYING IT DOESN'T COME DOWN TO THAT AT TIMES. Ooops, kid had to go to the doctor, better sell a fish.

.

 

[stdreb27]

I get what you are saying. I think it is a great learning tool. You can hav science class in your livingroom every day.

 

[flower]

Originally Posted by IbanEz
http:///forum/post/3257946
and Flower's
Is what set me off, cause that was not at all what I was saying. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves. I was just saying think about this........... and don't rush into it. Maybe look at something else you would rather sacrifice, because in a year if not before, the kid is gonna love it. Obviously, those with 200 gallon plus tanks face a different set up, but most people I see selling are well under 100 gallons. I don't want to see people leave this hobby. If they love it, I want them in it. If they hate it, that is a different story, because then they wont take care of the animals. This is all I mean.

Oh my, I seem to have touched a weird nerve…I didn’t mean to cause debate. I was misunderstood. I certainly didn't mean to "set you off"
Wouldn’t it be great if all parents exposed their children to the arts, books and marine life through the portal of a saltwater fish tank and never watched TV, drank booze, took drugs or smoked around them..Just to enrich their little minds…but we live in the real world don’t we. The children are exposed to what we want to do with our lives, they have no choice but be dragged along for the ride. If we are bad examples, the children are going to grow up to be just like us. All you parents out there pay attention!
HOWEVER…Any parent who lets their fish tank go because they now have the responsibility of children, and love them so much they will let something they love go on their behalf...I must assume they have a very good reason; I wouldn't dare risk making them feel like they have deprived the little one of something, because they haven’t.
There are several money pits in life..Rearing children, maintaining and fixing up your own home, and a saltwater fish tank. God has surely blessed the soul that can have it all, most of us must choose a priority…
I couldn’t afford a saltwater fish tank when my children were small. I had a freshwater tank, and after they were grown I got that saltwater one I always wanted, I also got that light color carpet I didn’t dare have when they were small. Oh, and that big screen TV, and the sports car and ….

 

[meowzer]

Originally Posted by Flower
http:///forum/post/3257972

Oh my, I seem to have touched a weird nerve…I didn’t mean to cause debate. I was misunderstood. I certainly didn't mean to "set you off"
Wouldn’t it be great if all parents exposed their children to the arts, books and marine life through the portal of a saltwater fish tank and never watched TV, drank booze, took drugs or smoked around them..Just to enrich their little minds…but we live in the real world don’t we. The children are exposed to what we want to do with our lives, they have no choice but be dragged along for the ride. If we are bad examples, the children are going to grow up to be just like us. All you parents out there pay attention!
HOWEVER…Any parent who lets their fish tank go because they now have the responsibility of children, and love them so much they will let something they love go on their behalf...I must assume they have a very good reason; I wouldn't dare risk making them feel like they have deprived the little one of something, because they haven’t.
There are several money pits in life..Rearing children, maintaining and fixing up your own home, and a saltwater fish tank. God has surely blessed the soul that can have it all, most of us must choose a priority…
I couldn’t afford a saltwater fish tank when my children were small. I had a freshwater tank, and after they were grown I got that saltwater one I always wanted, I also got that light color carpet I didn’t dare have when they were small. Oh, and that big screen TV, and the sports car and ….

yeah...and my mustang etc etc

 

[ibanez]

24 straight hours of homework probably messed up my mind a little. I probably misunderstood and jumped to the wrong conclusions. I just have been seeing so many people get out of the hobby it scares me. What kind of choices will we have available when stores don't get the support they need to take care of the livestock. What kind of children will be walking the streets as adults when they don't learn the kind of compassion it takes to take care of animals and enjoy creation. If it wasn't for the educational programs on tv, I would be completely against it because of the debauchery and terrible moral values it instills.
The thing I really really want to get across, is if you love the hobby, and your having a kid, think about what other useless things you could sacrifice first before the tank. Just make sure you make the right decision. And speaking from experience. A smaller tank is fully manageable with in infant/toddler. For those out there who think it takes a ton of electricity to run a tank. I have a 10 gallon tank, with 150 watt metal hallide, 100 watt heater, in a colder climate, with a 5 gallon sump with a 5 watt cf running 24/7 with a 300 gph sump pump, hob 10 gallon filter, korallia 1 power head, 100 gph pico pump, cpr bak pak 2r+ skimmer, auto top off, 2 aqua lifter pumps, one runs continually, and I plugged all that into the killawatt power tester and in 48 hours only cost me 16 cents. That is right, 2.3 kwh at 6 something cents per hour. Less than 10 dollars a month and I view that as a pretty high consumption 10 gallon. I will let you know what the 90 gallon is when I get it going. In the 10 gallon I go through about 1 bucket of salt at 60 dollars in a year. 5 dollars a month. Food maybe 5 dollars a month. Less than 20 dollars a month to keep it running. 240 dollars a year. 5 dollars a week at mcdonalds is 260 a year. I think The majority of the us could miss one mcdonalds meal a week without starving. I'm just saying....

 

[aquaknight]

Originally Posted by IbanEz
http:///forum/post/3257990
The thing I really really want to get across, is if you love the hobby, and your having a kid, think about what other useless things you could sacrifice first before the tank. Just make sure you make the right decision.
While this is what I got out of your original post as well, and is something I, and everyone can agree with, I can see how it was misinterpreted.
If anyone needs proof that kids love this hobby, go look at bullitr's in-wall build.

 

[jackri]

I don't think everyone gets the same enjoyment and results as the next. Some people fight ich infestation after ich infestation after GHA outbreaks after fish jumping out after overflow in the carpet and think... Hey my life was soo much easier before I tried to do all this crap.
As for it being an investment --- no hobby is ever an investment, they are ALL money drains (that's why we work though)
I can understand it as I go through waves of neglecting my tank for awhile. I feed my fish, look at the coral and check things out but I don't clean like I should or put in my supplements. I think the main reason is I'm moving in a month and I know I'm going to break my coral and have some losses. Just no two ways around it and probably get some kind of algae bloom as I stir stuff up.

 

[bionicarm]

For some people, a specific hobby can be what I call an 'impulse'. I always liked the thought of climbing up a hugh mountain one day, so I took up mountain climbing. After doing it for several months, I realized it wasn'tas exhilerating as I presumed, so I sold all my gear and moved on. I used to be an avid golfer. I played at least two times per week. After the second kid came around, I started playing less to spend more time with my two girls. Not to mention that I was spending at least $300/month on golf balls, tees, new clubs, and green fees. That's what hobbies are, something to peak your interests and keep your mind occupied from all the other stresses you may have in life (kids, relationships, jobs, money, etc.) Sooner or later I will tire of having to mess with my saltwater tank, sell everything off, and move on to another hobby. Will I miss the beauty? Sure. Will I miss the pain of having to maintain a saltwater tank? You betcha. But for me, it is what it is, a hobby. Nothing more.

 

[smartorl]

I got out of the hobby when my kids were small because my husband, rather ex-husband decided not working was cool and I had to stretch my money to not only run the household but set aside to get away from the dysfunction. It wasn't that I made a dime on my setup, like everyone else, I lost, but I couldn't justify the continuing expense.
It took me years to rebuy and replace what I basically gave away. So......when I moved to Massachussetts last year to get married (some one slap me really hard please) rather than give it away again, I dried out my rock, cleaned out my tanks and put everything into storage. One year later, with most of my dignity intact, I returned home, the first thing I did when I got back was mix saltwater in some tubs and start curing my live rock. Being careful about storage, everything is pristine. I have two tanks up and running, kicking butt, I might add, and will start on my big tank soon.
I would recommend tearing them down and storing rather than selling if at all possible. Granted, everyone doesn't have the same drive to stay in the hobby. There have been times when I have had huge losses and really wasn't sure I wanted to continue but I am glad I did.