Help me get my manda back!
- Thread starter skirrby
- Start date
lovethesea
Active Member
that is young, but you both obviously had something to look forward to. (heck, I dated my husband for 8 years, I wasn't ready). Hopefully she will come around and realize that you weren't coming on Wed was purely an economical thing and it had nothing to do with you.
S
suprbeagle
Guest
Originally posted by lovethesea
:thinking: Maybe she thought you skipping Wed, you were trying to end things. Gas prices would put a damper on 100 mile trip.
I am guessing she is about 20?
I agree they both look very young. And if you're not "very young", Skirby, you're very lucky!
Certainly, no one here knows your relationship but if she's telling you that she wants to break up over you not driving to see her every Wednesday, I'd think long and hard about the relationship. Good relationships are 100/100. What day of the week did she drive to see you? Honestly, it sounds like this is just an excuse.
I think you should be honest and open about your feelings for her and how you see your relationship progressing in the future. And then I'd give her a whole lot of space to sort through her feelings. Go out with your friends, hang out at the fish store, enjoy your other hobbies or try something new, LIVE your life. Don't sit and pine for her - it won't make her come back and it certainly won't make you more attractive to her. And wasting time watching life pass you by will do nothing but fill you with regrets.
lovethesea
Active Member
:yes:
angelofish
Member
C'mon! You been with her for 8 months and shes worried about you missing the WED.You have a good reason and she cant forgive you it. After 8 months she doesnt think you deserve another chance? Dont get me wrong now . I understand that your feelings are strong and you want her back. What if she doesnt want you back? Youll kick yourself later in life for the way youre acting now.
skirrby
Active Member
she only drove to see me once in the 8 months..her mom is very strict, and wouldnt ever let her...the wensday thing isnt all the reason.. alot is the dissagreements with me and her vs the mom. and her just being confused in life at the moment. ive helped her alot in the past.. and she will need help in the future, and i wanna be there for her when she needs it.
i know i should move on.. and i always did in past relationships.. one was at 2years when we split and i moved on right away.. but then again i was always the one leaving, guess this is the first time im being left. Im still going to try and get my chance.. if she fully refuses then ill ask for a friendship and move on. Its going to be so hard to do.
i know i should move on.. and i always did in past relationships.. one was at 2years when we split and i moved on right away.. but then again i was always the one leaving, guess this is the first time im being left. Im still going to try and get my chance.. if she fully refuses then ill ask for a friendship and move on. Its going to be so hard to do.
angelofish
Member
There you go!!! Thats a better attitude to have then that no eating,no sleeping ,
crap. Her mom probably doesnt like the sound of you two getting serious at her young age. We guys have to stick together. Women have too much power over us.We have to be strong LOL!! Im gonna get flamed for this one.
lovethesea
Active Member
lovethesea
Active Member
us stricked Moms stink don't we. Just wait til you have a baby girl in your arms. My husband declared the day our daughter was born " she's not leaving the house until she's 30 !!! )
Her Mom is probably making sure she (I guess) gets some things under her belt (maturity wise and maybe school) before she wants her to commit to a relationship. (I would too,but I wouldn't stop the relationship altogether)
Give her some room, and take the time for yourself too.
Her Mom is probably making sure she (I guess) gets some things under her belt (maturity wise and maybe school) before she wants her to commit to a relationship. (I would too,but I wouldn't stop the relationship altogether)
Give her some room, and take the time for yourself too.
lovethesea
Active Member
tangman99
Active Member
Ok Skirrby, I can see the situation a little more clearly now. You said the key word or number, 17. I was right where you are now 20 years ago. I was madly in love with a girl when I was 18 and she was 15. We dated until she turned 18 and we got married. We had our ups and downs as we were both kids. That is much easier to see 20 years later than it was then.
Anyway, life went on and we had our good times and bad times. It's funny how certain periods in your life bring on drastic changes to your maturity and how you see life. As time went by, that princess I knew changed into the likes of something that I had never known existed. I did learn for a fact that Satan did exist and that I was married to his sister and would have preferred to be his roommate.
Needless to say, that marriage is behind me and I'm as much responsible for it as she was. My point is, I don't care how you feel right now. You are just beginning to experience life and she has not even reached that point yet. There is so much in life you have not experience yet, and so many changes ahead for you in how you perceive life.
In my humble opinion, I would tell her how I feel and if you think you really need to change things, then make a commitment to do it. If she wants to change things about you that were fine several months ago, that is a big red flag beating you over the head. Tell her you are who you are and that has to be good enough. Leave her alone and let her sort out how she feels keeping in mind she is 17 and probably has no idea how she feels. I would not call her or contact her for a week or so and see what she does. If she wants to get back together, do what you think is best after you have had a week or so yourself. You will be surprised what a few days will do for you also.
Whatever happens, do yourself a favor. Enjoy life before committing yourself to one person at such a young age. I know there are many happy couples out there that did marry young and I am very happy for them. They are the exception, not the rule.
Again, good luck to you.
Anyway, life went on and we had our good times and bad times. It's funny how certain periods in your life bring on drastic changes to your maturity and how you see life. As time went by, that princess I knew changed into the likes of something that I had never known existed. I did learn for a fact that Satan did exist and that I was married to his sister and would have preferred to be his roommate.
Needless to say, that marriage is behind me and I'm as much responsible for it as she was. My point is, I don't care how you feel right now. You are just beginning to experience life and she has not even reached that point yet. There is so much in life you have not experience yet, and so many changes ahead for you in how you perceive life.
In my humble opinion, I would tell her how I feel and if you think you really need to change things, then make a commitment to do it. If she wants to change things about you that were fine several months ago, that is a big red flag beating you over the head. Tell her you are who you are and that has to be good enough. Leave her alone and let her sort out how she feels keeping in mind she is 17 and probably has no idea how she feels. I would not call her or contact her for a week or so and see what she does. If she wants to get back together, do what you think is best after you have had a week or so yourself. You will be surprised what a few days will do for you also.
Whatever happens, do yourself a favor. Enjoy life before committing yourself to one person at such a young age. I know there are many happy couples out there that did marry young and I am very happy for them. They are the exception, not the rule.
Again, good luck to you.
tangman99
Active Member
Originally posted by lovethesea
My husband declared the day our daughter was born " she's not leaving the house until she's 30 !!! )
Amen! I do have a 16 year old son from my first marriage and he is a great kid. Now I have a 16 month old daughter with my currrent wife and I know just how he feels. Funny thing, my ex-wife and my wife were talking to each other right after my daughter was born and both agreed that they would not want to be the boy that shows up one day to take my daughter out on a date. Made me think back to the time I was that boy.
GOD I'M GOING TO PAY FOR THE THINGS I'VE DONE!
lovethesea
Active Member
here is his weapon of choice....
lovethesea
Active Member
Originally posted by Wrassecal
And if you do, DON'T use one of the bats pictured above
oh, PLEASE don't use that
its reserved for my daughters future boyfriends
skirrby
Active Member
well thanks guys for all the advise.. im taking today off work to clear my head some.. talked to her before school.. she got in a big fight with her parents last night and they took her car, and took her phone, and yelled at her for over a hour all cause she was 30 min late from gettnig home from work.. they even smelled her clothes and told her she wasnt at work, which she really was there i got proof... guess who she called to make her feel a little better, me!. im asking her if tonight me and her can go out to dinner, with her parents possibly, and all sit down and talk things out. i think it will help me and amanda to talk in person, all the true feelings come out better in person.. and maybe we can resolve some issues with her and her parents and me. kinda try and kill 2 birds with one stone. i feel its reasonable.. i can hear it in her vioce,,and tell by her actions that she dont want to leave.. she just is confused,, i think she feels if im not around it will make things better with her and her parents.. but it wouldnt,, they are a little out of control on some issues, and verbaly abuse her from day to day.. am i being reasonable by asking for a dinner to talk things out in person.. and to talk things out with me, her and her rents?
lovethesea
Active Member
they smelled her clothes? Whats that about? Whats with these people? Unless she gave them any reason to dis trust her, that is insane. If they are as bad as you say, I don't think a dinner in public would be the answer. Unless she is supporting THEM,
what is their biggest fear of the two of you being together.
what is their biggest fear of the two of you being together.
skirrby
Active Member
they arent trusting people.. she messed up real bad a few years back.. and they never forgave her for it. i dont like her parents.. i still show them full respect when im around them.. and her mom acutully admits she likes me and that im much more mature than alot of guys my age. but ive always been able to get past teh troubles they give us, so i could be with her.. i dont like to let them stand in my way.
skirrbysgf
Member
christopher "skirrby" Witengier
The love you have givin me has shown me exactly in my life where i need to be. You know me better then anyone in this entire world. I love you more then anything and care about you more then anything in this world. people are right i just was really confused i love you and i do want to be with you. I've never had anyone like you in my life. Your an amazing person and i hadnt realized in the past how much you love me, untill now. You are basically putting everything on hold just for me. A week ago you wouldnt miss a day of work if you cut your finger all over ago but you would miss a day of work for me. You are an amazing person and someone i know will always be there for me. I do love you and i do want to be with you, i just didnt think i wanted to anymore. but i was wrong.
ive cried just as much as you have. Well, maybe not but something like it. Your my world also. Everyone who has posted on this bored has helped me change my decision back. I LOVE YOU BABY! you know that. And i just wish you would have already known how serious i was about wednesdays. It doesnt matter much to me anymore. In about 30-40 minutes im going to call my mom from school and ask if you are able to come over tonight. because i miss you more then anything in this world. Yea and you are right about sunday when you saw me it was written all over me that i want to be with you. It sill is. i cant eat or sleep either. i want to be with you more then anything. I want to go to earthday birthday i want to go to your condo with brent and nate. you know i love them both. brent is your best friend and you not even wanting to talk to him or hang out with him really bothers me to. Im so sorry baby i love you and you know that. CHRIS YOUR PEBBLES IS ALWAYS HERE.... and she wants to be back with you. i love you so much
-mandabear
The love you have givin me has shown me exactly in my life where i need to be. You know me better then anyone in this entire world. I love you more then anything and care about you more then anything in this world. people are right i just was really confused i love you and i do want to be with you. I've never had anyone like you in my life. Your an amazing person and i hadnt realized in the past how much you love me, untill now. You are basically putting everything on hold just for me. A week ago you wouldnt miss a day of work if you cut your finger all over ago but you would miss a day of work for me. You are an amazing person and someone i know will always be there for me. I do love you and i do want to be with you, i just didnt think i wanted to anymore. but i was wrong.
-mandabear