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jdragunas
Guest
my cousin once saw my gramma remove her dentures, and he was so shocked, he asked "can you walk through walls too???" lol
turningtim
Active Member
My wife was taking the kids (3yo girl/6yo boy) to the pool last summer. My daughter asked "Can we bring Elty (the cat) to the pool Mommy?" My wife said "No honey b/c cats don't like water very much." My daughter replies "Well Mommy!, then why do they call it a 'Kitty' pool?"
My wife almost had to pull over, she was laughing so hard!
My wife almost had to pull over, she was laughing so hard!
scoobydoo
Active Member
Originally Posted by swlover
Ok my mom always called her cat the b*stard-cause he would pee on the door-well he got hit by a car and died the lady that hit him stopped got out and was crying..my mother went out there with one of her grandchildren in tow...they walked up to the lady she was soooo upset and said "I hit your cat" and don't ya know my niece looked up at the lady with a surprised look on her face and said" are you sure the b*stard is dead"
Great, now I got soda on my keyboard! LOL
pashari
Member
My daughter is 2.5 y/o. We do the 1-2-3 method of discipline but, for the most part, my daughter is pretty easy. Anyway, on this one rare occasion she was misbehaving out in public (of course) and I say "one..........two....." My daughter pipes up "You're not two, mommie, I'm two! You're forty!!!"
And yes, I am 40.
Also, during the holidays my daughter spent quite a bit of time with her Daddy who normally works 7 days per week. After New Year things went back to normal and my daughter says "Mommie, Daddy no go to work no more. Daddy stay home"
I said "Well, if Daddy doesn't go to work than Mommie will have to go to work"
My daughter is silent for a while and then she says "Mommie & Daddy stay home. Clovis go work" I guess this would be okay except Clovis is OUR DOG!!!
And the classic, that I'll only repeat in the anonimity of cyberspace...."Mommie!!! You have hair in your nose!!!!!"
And yes, I am 40.
Also, during the holidays my daughter spent quite a bit of time with her Daddy who normally works 7 days per week. After New Year things went back to normal and my daughter says "Mommie, Daddy no go to work no more. Daddy stay home"
I said "Well, if Daddy doesn't go to work than Mommie will have to go to work"
My daughter is silent for a while and then she says "Mommie & Daddy stay home. Clovis go work" I guess this would be okay except Clovis is OUR DOG!!!
And the classic, that I'll only repeat in the anonimity of cyberspace...."Mommie!!! You have hair in your nose!!!!!"
nflnutswif
Member
My wonderful cousin and her husband have adopted 4 children. The first at birth, the second set (2) a brother and sister that were abandoned by drug addicted transiant parents. Hope (3) and Samuel (4). I, who worked at Disneyland, invited the family to come to the park. The whole week my cousin told the kids they were going to see Disneyland. The day came and I waited out in front of the ticket booths for them. As excited as any child I have ever seen, little Samuel came running as fast as he could with his arms wide open yelling. . . "Hi Disneyland" and ran into my arms!
Now Samuel is a bit slow as he was a deprived drug baby, had never even heard of Mickey Mouse and Disneyland thought I was Disneyland.
Almost the most precious thing that I've ever seen.
Now Samuel is a bit slow as he was a deprived drug baby, had never even heard of Mickey Mouse and Disneyland thought I was Disneyland.
Almost the most precious thing that I've ever seen.
scotts
Active Member
My son has autism, so he looks at the world a little different. Well he loved to read these Frog and Toad books. I became Frog and he was Toad. For years anytime he would want me he would call me Frog, in the house, at the Granparents house, in front of his teachers. My favorite was when we were in the video store and he called out at the top of his lungs. "Frrroooooogggg can we get this movie?"
Then there was the time I was taking a nap. I was in that dozy la-la land right before going to sleep. I felt a blanket go over me and a pari of hands so gently placing the blanket on me. When I woke up I thanked him for putting the blanket on me and he said "I tucked you to sleep"
Then there was the time I was taking a nap. I was in that dozy la-la land right before going to sleep. I felt a blanket go over me and a pari of hands so gently placing the blanket on me. When I woke up I thanked him for putting the blanket on me and he said "I tucked you to sleep"
keleighr
Active Member
Originally Posted by Scotts
My son has autism, so he looks at the world a little different. Well he loved to read these Frog and Toad books. I became Frog and he was Toad. For years anytime he would want me he would call me Frog, in the house, at the Granparents house, in front of his teachers. My favorite was when we were in the video store and he called out at the top of his lungs. "Frrroooooogggg can we get this movie?"
Then there was the time I was taking a nap. I was in that dozy la-la land right before going to sleep. I felt a blanket go over me and a pari of hands so gently placing the blanket on me. When I woke up I thanked him for putting the blanket on me and he said "I tucked you to sleep"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i just totally love that!!!
Aren't kids the best.
My son has autism, so he looks at the world a little different. Well he loved to read these Frog and Toad books. I became Frog and he was Toad. For years anytime he would want me he would call me Frog, in the house, at the Granparents house, in front of his teachers. My favorite was when we were in the video store and he called out at the top of his lungs. "Frrroooooogggg can we get this movie?"
Then there was the time I was taking a nap. I was in that dozy la-la land right before going to sleep. I felt a blanket go over me and a pari of hands so gently placing the blanket on me. When I woke up I thanked him for putting the blanket on me and he said "I tucked you to sleep"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i just totally love that!!!
Aren't kids the best.
oceanists
Active Member
Originally Posted by ruaround
Right after my daughter had turned 3 I was watching a Monday Night Fotball game... She asked if the Buccaneers were playing, I said "no they aren't" she asked "who is playing?" I told her "The NY Jets and the Miami Dolphins" she said "YOUR Ami Dolphins?" I said "no Miami Dolphins..." she said "ya YOUR Ami Dolphins..." I busted a gut laughing, and to this day we refer to them as the YOUR Ami Dolphins...
My son the other day asked my girl friend "If she was hot?" she replied "I don't Know...Why? Do you think I am?" he said "cuz you smell like youre hot..." I couldn't hold back the laughter!!!
she immediately went and took a shower...he is 3 by the way...
OH MY LORD , when i was little and my mom would watch miame Vice , i would say to her i dont want to watch your ami vice
Right after my daughter had turned 3 I was watching a Monday Night Fotball game... She asked if the Buccaneers were playing, I said "no they aren't" she asked "who is playing?" I told her "The NY Jets and the Miami Dolphins" she said "YOUR Ami Dolphins?" I said "no Miami Dolphins..." she said "ya YOUR Ami Dolphins..." I busted a gut laughing, and to this day we refer to them as the YOUR Ami Dolphins...
My son the other day asked my girl friend "If she was hot?" she replied "I don't Know...Why? Do you think I am?" he said "cuz you smell like youre hot..." I couldn't hold back the laughter!!!
she immediately went and took a shower...he is 3 by the way...
OH MY LORD , when i was little and my mom would watch miame Vice , i would say to her i dont want to watch your ami vice
petieaztec
Member
when i was about five my teacher always said that things were unexceptable. so when my brother bit the cat I looked at him and told him "That is very unexceptable mister" of course i had my hands on my hips and everthing. my mom reminds me about that when my b-day comes around each year.
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tizzo
Guest
OMG Every single one of those is so funny!!
Nut, are you saying that the kid saw the actual Disneyland behind you and was more excited to see YOU!! How cute...Disneyland.
Pashari, those are so funny and I love how you worded the third one!! LOL
These are way better than the forwarded email ones!!
Nut, are you saying that the kid saw the actual Disneyland behind you and was more excited to see YOU!! How cute...Disneyland.
Pashari, those are so funny and I love how you worded the third one!! LOL
These are way better than the forwarded email ones!!
fishboy091
Member
I was at the Renaissance Festival when I was about 11. I was at the drench the winch game and the lady makes fun of you when you don't hit the target to knock her into the water. Well once I was up there and the lady was making fun of me and stuff because I hadn't hit the target, this little kid about 6 y/o came out of nowhere and just started cussing the lady out like crazy. He did it for about 30 seconds before his mom came and got him. It was pretty funny.
fishboy091
Member
I have another one. It was my 4th birthday and my mom got me a ninja turtles birthday cake. The day before my birthday she showed me my cake and asked me what I was gonna eat first. I told her "I was gonna eat his 'awms', he legs, and his boobies! Then I'm gonna eat he legs, oh, momma he no have no legs." I wanted to stick my finger in it so bad and taste that iceing. I asked her if she could just open it up and lemme 'tse'(yes, i spelt it right, thats how i said it, i had a really bad accent too. it was so funny). We have it on video and its so funny to watch. I laugh at it everytime. :hilarious
nw2sltfsh
Member
My little boy has a slight speach problem and has issues with the belnded sounds like FR or TR - last year on his birthday my father took him to see the Monster Trucks
anyhow when he got home he wanted to call his other grandparents and tell them all about it - he finally reached my mother in law who is a bit of a prude and very proper. He screamed in the phone as soon as she answered " I JUST SAW A MONSTER F*&K"
She got very upset and asked to speak to me - and started to preach about how some things are not appropriate for kids to see ... I almost passed out laughing about it
The Monster Trucks are back this year in time for his birthday again .. and now he is asking if he can see the Monster T_R uck - he spells it to avoid trouble
anyhow when he got home he wanted to call his other grandparents and tell them all about it - he finally reached my mother in law who is a bit of a prude and very proper. He screamed in the phone as soon as she answered " I JUST SAW A MONSTER F*&K"
She got very upset and asked to speak to me - and started to preach about how some things are not appropriate for kids to see ... I almost passed out laughing about it
The Monster Trucks are back this year in time for his birthday again .. and now he is asking if he can see the Monster T_R uck - he spells it to avoid trouble
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havunen191
Guest
These are just too funny. I have a couple to share with you all.
About a month ago my sister in-law had taken my two youngest for the weekend. I get a phone call from her saying that my son (Not yet two)is say what the f**k, and that he is yelling it at her. So I asked her what do you mean and she says that he is standing there pointing at her yelling this. So I then asked her to turn around and tell me what is behind her she says my shelf with all my McDonalds toys. So I then asked if there was a truck on there. Low and behold "WANT THE TRUCK". She just started craking up. It was driving her nuts that she could not get him to stop saying it. And felt like a fool for not figureing out what he was saying.
Just the other day we were sitting having dinner and my son keeps standing up in his chair. We keep telling him he has to sit..... So my daughter (5)in the mists of things say dad your just going to have to belt him! (He sits in a wooden (old style high chair) bench that has no safty belt and when things get out of control my husband takes one of his belts to strap him down.) We just started laughing and thought what if we were out some where and she had said this :scared: .
About a month ago my sister in-law had taken my two youngest for the weekend. I get a phone call from her saying that my son (Not yet two)is say what the f**k, and that he is yelling it at her. So I asked her what do you mean and she says that he is standing there pointing at her yelling this. So I then asked her to turn around and tell me what is behind her she says my shelf with all my McDonalds toys. So I then asked if there was a truck on there. Low and behold "WANT THE TRUCK". She just started craking up. It was driving her nuts that she could not get him to stop saying it. And felt like a fool for not figureing out what he was saying.
Just the other day we were sitting having dinner and my son keeps standing up in his chair. We keep telling him he has to sit..... So my daughter (5)in the mists of things say dad your just going to have to belt him! (He sits in a wooden (old style high chair) bench that has no safty belt and when things get out of control my husband takes one of his belts to strap him down.) We just started laughing and thought what if we were out some where and she had said this :scared: .
bluegirl
Member
My son, Ryan, is five and a big copycat. We try to watch what we say around him, but sometimes words slip. I sent him to brush his teeth before bed about 2 nights ago, he gets in the bathroom and yells out across the house, "Where's my damn toothpaste?" I cracked up and tea came out my nose.
He also calls our dane, Scooby-Dee, damn dog. Oh well, I guess even if you clean up your language and "it" only slips out every now and then they'll remind you of that regularly.
jacknjill
Active Member
When i was little, we didnt have air conditioning, just those big window fans. Well, we finally got air one year. My mom was helping me get out of the tub, and since i was standing over a vent the air was blowing on me. I said "TURN THE DAMN AIR OFF!"
Another time was when my mom had made me some eggs and sliced them into little peices for me. I saw them and said, "WHO CUT MY DAMN EGGS!"
Yes, damn was my word lol. I still crack up about that.
One more, we used to havea little garden next to our house with peppers, tomatos, and cucumbers. They had me on video and asked me what i had done that day. I said, "I picked the, I picked the, the, last, I picked the last topatoooooooo," instead of i picked the last tomato! It is so hilarious to watch.
Ok last one, my parents had just gotten new sheets for their bed and were washing them to make them softer. Well, they didnt know that when they had put them in the dryer, I had thrown a whole handful of crayons on their brand new sheets! They were ruined
Another time was when my mom had made me some eggs and sliced them into little peices for me. I saw them and said, "WHO CUT MY DAMN EGGS!"
Yes, damn was my word lol. I still crack up about that.
One more, we used to havea little garden next to our house with peppers, tomatos, and cucumbers. They had me on video and asked me what i had done that day. I said, "I picked the, I picked the, the, last, I picked the last topatoooooooo," instead of i picked the last tomato! It is so hilarious to watch.
Ok last one, my parents had just gotten new sheets for their bed and were washing them to make them softer. Well, they didnt know that when they had put them in the dryer, I had thrown a whole handful of crayons on their brand new sheets! They were ruined
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rei511
Guest
this is from some co-workers..... two of the women i work with are best friends and watch eachothers little girls. well, one day chrissy had all four kids with her at wally world and they had to go potty. chrissy was in the handycap stall with all of them and she was the last to go. sandy's 3y/o daughter sees chrissy's pants down and shouts "chrissy, you have hair on your nina!" guess mommy doesn't......
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jdragunas
Guest
omg!!! LMFAO!!! that's the funniest thing i've ever heard!!!
I watch my 3-year-old cousin, and i asked her what she wanted to do. She looked at me with this mean face turned sideways, so she was looking out the side of her eyes, put up her fists and said "let's fight", i about fell over, it was sooo funny.
Another time i was babysittin, and we were upstairs in her room putting a puzzle together. She heard a noise downstairs, and she made that face again, looking out the corner of her eye and said so quietly "that mommy?" "no"... "that daddy" "no"... "that jazzy?" "yes"... jazzy is their dog. Just the way she said it, though, was the funniest thing i've ever heard!
Another time we were at a christmas party at their house. I was asking brooke what people's names are... "who's that" "erica", who's that "lisa", who am i "jenn", what's mommy's name? "
[hr]
"(female dog...)... i was like ??? yeah... daddy got in a lot of trouble that night...
I watch my 3-year-old cousin, and i asked her what she wanted to do. She looked at me with this mean face turned sideways, so she was looking out the side of her eyes, put up her fists and said "let's fight", i about fell over, it was sooo funny.
Another time i was babysittin, and we were upstairs in her room putting a puzzle together. She heard a noise downstairs, and she made that face again, looking out the corner of her eye and said so quietly "that mommy?" "no"... "that daddy" "no"... "that jazzy?" "yes"... jazzy is their dog. Just the way she said it, though, was the funniest thing i've ever heard!
Another time we were at a christmas party at their house. I was asking brooke what people's names are... "who's that" "erica", who's that "lisa", who am i "jenn", what's mommy's name? "
[hr]
"(female dog...)... i was like ??? yeah... daddy got in a lot of trouble that night...