Saying Goodbye to my tanks, I choose my husband instead

ice4ice

ice4ice

Active Member
Rykna -
I have been wanting to have a SW tank soo bad in the worst way. SO I started to read & research everything I need to know and in the planning stages of acquiring equipment needed to start one. When I told my wife about it, she was sort of against it due to A) claims I don't take care of the betta I have ... correction - had. It died a couple weeks ago and I had it since the 1st week of November 2006. B) I have a cat C) Saltwater is expensive to maintain. D) I have a 4 year old child
After being stubborn and determined to go ahead with my plans, I sat down one night thinking about what her reasons were - especially reason C. With a 4 year old and other expenses of caring for the family, I have decided to postpone setting up a SW tank. Got to think Food and family or fish tank ... Perhaps somewheres down the road I will do so. Who knows what the future will bring ... maybe SW equipment qill much more advanced by then. Only time will tell.
 
mie

mie

Active Member
Just out of curiousity are the finaces back on track?
My wife and i overcame 35,000 dollars in debt and awful credit.
With patience and dicipline we did it.
 
lecithin

lecithin

Member
I can definitely relate to spending more then I can afford to and allowing my habits getting the best of me. The best of luck to you and I hope to see you back someday!
 
J

jrthomas40

Guest
me and my g/f got into an argument tonight about how i spend my money...she is mad because i can figure out how to get money for things i want but never have it for things she wants....which i dont appreciate because she makes 50+k/ year and i am in school working part time so paying all of my bills + utilities here i rack up close to $800/month but my incoming is only around 1100 but because i get student loans she thinks i have money to just blow on running to the beach and droping 3 or 400 but according to her i am wrong for never wanting to go
 
rykna

rykna

Active Member
Originally Posted by acrylic51
Glad to see it all worked in the end......Maybe you can talk to my wife about the addiction?????

Even better~ get her a dwarf seahorse tank
She'll be hooked. We women are suckers for cute little animals.
 
rykna

rykna

Active Member
Originally Posted by maxalmon
The most important thing to remember is that your being proactive, good for you in taking the first step in the right direction....
....Like it was mentioned above, almost everyone who leaves this hobby for whatever reason, almost always comes back.........Good Luck...
Yep...once a sw always a sw. I'm just very thankful for finding the postive way to share my hobby with my husband. I do miss the reef tank from time to time...but only for a few seconds~ I prefer the man I caught hook, line, and sinker!
 
rykna

rykna

Active Member
Originally Posted by jrthomas40
me and my g/f got into an argument tonight about how i spend my money...she is mad because i can figure out how to get money for things i want but never have it for things she wants....which i dont appreciate because she makes 50+k/ year and i am in school working part time so paying all of my bills + utilities here i rack up close to $800/month but my incoming is only around 1100 but because i get student loans she thinks i have money to just blow on running to the beach and droping 3 or 400 but according to her i am wrong for never wanting to go
My husband Brian and I met when we were 14. We've been together ever since. 12 married~18 years together total. I'm certainly not an expert, but if I may suggest...there are 3 basic things in a relationship...Love, Trust, and Respect. Because on the money i poured into my tank, I lost trust from Brian. And when I fought him tooth and nail to prove how valuable my hobby was, I lost his respect. I stopped trusting Brian,and felt very defensive when he wanted me to validate my purchases against his hobbies. I felt like he did not love me, because he did not love my tanks. In the end, it wasn't about the tanks or the money, it is about the person you love.
True love never fails, but if you do not trust or respect it, then life becomes very shallow, lonely path~at least it did for me and Brian. I realized that Brian does not have to or need to love or even like my tanks to love me, and that's ok. Now, that I include him in my fish purchases, he has given back his respect to me. And since he no longer judges or demands a reason for these purchases, he has regained my respect.
Love, patience, kindness,forgiving, are only a few things that God asks/reminds to give to one another...may it be an stranger, a friend, or a spouse. And I am very thankful for that guidance.
 
dragonboy

dragonboy

Active Member
Wow I never thought a saltwater fish tank can go that far as to involving it with relationship problems. I just think budgeting is the key although this hobby can be addictive but we all got hobby's its what makes life more interesting but if I guess if its for the best of being someone that worth giving it up for.
 
7

75bownut

Guest
Originally Posted by Rykna
My husband Brian and I met when we were 14. We've been together ever since. 12 married~18 years together total. I'm certainly not an expert, but if I may suggest...there are 3 basic things in a relationship...Love, Trust, and Respect. Because on the money i poured into my tank, I lost trust from Brian. And when I fought him tooth and nail to prove how valuable my hobby was, I lost his respect. I stopped trusting Brian,and felt very defensive when he wanted me to validate my purchases against his hobbies. I felt like he did not love me, because he did not love my tanks. In the end, it wasn't about the tanks or the money, it is about the person you love.
True love never fails, but if you do not trust or respect it, then life becomes very shallow, lonely path~at least it did for me and Brian. I realized that Brian does not have to or need to love or even like my tanks to love me, and that's ok. Now, that I include him in my fish purchases, he has given back his respect to me. And since he no longer judges or demands a reason for these purchases, he has regained my respect.
Love, patience, kindness,forgiving, are only a few things that God asks/reminds to give to one another...may it be an stranger, a friend, or a spouse. And I am very thankful for that guidance.

Well Spoken!!!
 
maxalmon

maxalmon

Active Member
Originally Posted by dragonboy
Wow I never thought a saltwater fish tank can go that far as to involving it with relationship problems. I just think budgeting is the key although this hobby can be addictive but we all got hobby's its what makes life more interesting but if I guess if its for the best of being someone that worth giving it up for.
Stay in the hobby long enough and you'll find relationships/hobby finance issues are fairly common. Part of the problem is the simple fact that this is an expensive hobby and it also has monthly expenses that never go away.
 
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