I smoked for 15 years and quit 5 years ago. And, like you, I also used the patch but I also found one thing that helped me out a lot. You gotta start thinking like a non-smoker. After dinner a smoker thinks about lighting up and somebody who has never smoked thinks about whatever they are gonna do next... You gotta THINK like a nonsmoker. If you know one (luckily for me, it was my little brother) but try to imagine what they are thinking at certain times and mimic them. If you keep dwelling on when you usually have one, and what your gonna do to pass the time til the next time you'd usually have one, then it will be really hard.
5 years quit and I still get the craving sometimes, especially when I drink. I miss it, but I don't long for it like I did in the beginning...
Even though it seems harder and harder for you as time goes on, realize that's only mental. Your body let's go of the addiction way before your mind does...
And the reason people gain weight when they quit isn't all the oral fixation. That feeling of swallowing feels a like like inhaling smoke so don't fall into that trap either... You are doing great so far and I truly hope you stay on track. Keep us posted on your progress!!!!
Hope this helped, I can't proofread, kids fussin' in the backround...