Thought I'd Share A Laugh!

reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
^^ *SNORT*
So an atheist is on an airliner and a 10 year old girl sits next to him.
The man turns to her and says "do you want to talk? Flights go
quicker when you have a conversation with someone".
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the
total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God,
or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the
same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow
turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose
that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified
to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after
death, when you don't know crap?"
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Michell Obama was out taking a stroll around the white house grounds when she spots a girl pushing a baby carriage along Pennsylvania ave. Being a woman of the people she asks her secret service detail to escort her over to the fence so she could talk with her. "Are you taking you baby doll for a walk? asks the first lady. "No, it's my kitties" the little girl replies. She pulled back covers to reveal a mother cat with a litter of kittens that couldn't be more than a few days old. . "Oh how cute" the first lady said. "What kind of kitties are those?" The little girl responds "These are Democrat kitties". The first lady gushed as she excused herself and went on her way.
A couple weeks later the first lady was again strolling the grounds with a few lobbyists and a couple of CEO's when she sees the same little girl with the carriage again. She orders the secret service to escort the girl to the fence so she can show her off. She tells her guests "This little girl is just the most precious thing you've ever seen". She asks the little girl to show her friends her kitties which the girl does. The sight of the kittens get the appropriate oohs and aahs from the guests. Then the first lady says "Tell my friends what kind of kitties those are" to which the girl replies "These kitties are Republicans". An obviously embarrassed first lady says "When we spoke last time you told me those were Democrat kitties". The little girl say "They were but look, they've opened their eyes so now they are Republican kitties".
The end....
Reef (I had to throw in one political one) raff
 
rainbow grouper

rainbow grouper

Active Member
Ok so now why is everyone copying darth answer me that.rainbow(getting annoyed by copy cats and polititians)grouper, and i know that was also copying but there was no better way to get across my point
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow grouper http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412502
Ok so now why is everyone copying darth answer me that.rainbow(getting annoyed by copy cats and polititians)grouper, and i know that was also copying but there was no better way to get across my point
Rainbow....Darth has been here a LONG time...and a lot of the others have been too.....It is something they (we) do periodically as a joke.....
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a Marxist lawyer?
Chelsea Clinton.
Reef (Still Stealin from Darth) Raff
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412529
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a Marxist lawyer?
Chelsea Clinton.
Reef (Still Stealin from Darth) Raff
You hear about the indian that drank 20 gallons of tea?
He passed out and drown in his Teepee
std (following the herd) reb (and making politically incorrect jokes) 27
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412369
Michell Obama was out taking a stroll around the white house grounds when she spots a girl pushing a baby carriage along Pennsylvania ave. Being a woman of the people she asks her secret service detail to escort her over to the fence so she could talk with her. "Are you taking you baby doll for a walk? asks the first lady. "No, it's my kitties" the little girl replies. She pulled back covers to reveal a mother cat with a litter of kittens that couldn't be more than a few days old. . "Oh how cute" the first lady said. "What kind of kitties are those?" The little girl responds "These are Democrat kitties". The first lady gushed as she excused herself and went on her way.
A couple weeks later the first lady was again strolling the grounds with a few lobbyists and a couple of CEO's when she sees the same little girl with the carriage again. She orders the secret service to escort the girl to the fence so she can show her off. She tells her guests "This little girl is just the most precious thing you've ever seen". She asks the little girl to show her friends her kitties which the girl does. The sight of the kittens get the appropriate oohs and aahs from the guests. Then the first lady says "Tell my friends what kind of kitties those are" to which the girl replies "These kitties are Republicans". An obviously embarrassed first lady says "When we spoke last time you told me those were Democrat kitties". The little girl say "They were but look, they've opened their eyes so now they are Republican kitties".
The end....
Reef (I had to throw in one political one) raff
Reefraff...this make joke number three that I have completely enjoyed. Elmo, the Athiest and now this...I will forgive the bad Clinton joke, it isn't the girls fault...LOL
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
A guy finds an old bottle and when he wipes at it to see what the label is out pops a Genie. Genie says "forget what you've been told about genies, it's one wish and one with only so choose wisely".
The guy thinks for a moment and say "I wish for my ring rang roo to hang all the way to the ground". Genie cut off his legs
Reef (I gotta million of them) Raff
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
A man finds a bottle and gives it a rub..Out pops A Genie...and he tells him has three wishes but remember...whatever he asks for his arch enemy gets double what he gets. He wishes for 100 million dollars...Poof he gets it, but his Mother in Law got 200 million dollars. He asks for a mansion..Poof granted but his mother in law now has an even bigger mansion...so he thinks about his last wish and than says...I want you to beat me half to death.
 
bigarn

bigarn

Active Member
So the king has 3 knights who want to marry his daughter. In order to be fair he decides on a contest .. "I'll give you each 3 weeks to collect as many ping pong balls as is possible and the winner will get my daughter's hand in marriage." After 3 weeks knight #1 comes back with 100,000 ping pong balls .. The king says excellent job! Knight #2 comes back with 200,000 ping pong balls .. the king says wow that's gonna be tough to beat!
Finally knight #3 shows up and rolls two gigantic balls into the room. The king exclaims ... "What the hell are they? .. they're not ping pong balls"!
The knight looks at him and says ... "Ping pong balls?? ... "I thought you said King Kong's balls"!!!
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member

Ok raff that was really bad rainbow(best jokes make fun of politics) grouper.
If you are gonna steal my signature, atleast put forth the effort to do it correctly.
Darth (I know where the enter button is) Tang
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member
The Dahlia lama recently said the killing of Ossama Bin Laden was justified.
I believe his exact words were, "I love all living things, but that guy was a dick!"
Darth (now that made this thread worth it) Tang
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
Man and woman are laying in bed when the man lets a little fart slip. "what was that" his wife asks. "Field goal" he answers, "3 points". A few minutes later she lets go with a respectable ripper. "What was that?" the husband asked. "Touchdown" she said, "7 points" Not to be outdone the man works up a window rattler and lets fly, unfortunately he served up a shart. "What do you call that?" the woman asks. After thinking a moment the man says "End of the half, time to change sides"
 
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