Thought I'd Share A Laugh!

[rainbow grouper]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412583
A man finds a bottle and gives it a rub..Out pops A Genie...and he tells him has three wishes but remember...whatever he asks for his arch enemy gets double what he gets. He wishes for 100 million dollars...Poof he gets it, but his Mother in Law got 200 million dollars. He asks for a mansion..Poof granted but his mother in law now has an even bigger mansion...so he thinks about his last wish and than says...I want you to beat me half to death.
Nice joke flower almost made me fall of my chair also how do you insert hyperlinks.

 

[rainbow grouper]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412583
A man finds a bottle and gives it a rub..Out pops A Genie...and he tells him has three wishes but remember...whatever he asks for his arch enemy gets double what he gets. He wishes for 100 million dollars...Poof he gets it, but his Mother in Law got 200 million dollars. He asks for a mansion..Poof granted but his mother in law now has an even bigger mansion...so he thinks about his last wish and than says...I want you to beat me half to death.
Nice joke flower almost made me fall of my chair also how do you insert hyperlinks.

 

[rainbow grouper]

sorry about repeat

 

[reefraff]

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow grouper http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/40#post_3412779
raff that was an almost unforgivable joke unless you give another really awesome one
Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics?
Because every one of them who can run, jump or swim is in the United States.

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow grouper http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/60#post_3412780
Nice joke flower almost made me fall of my chair also how do you insert hyperlinks.
Hi,
You can try copy paste...I haven't been able to do any links..it never works for me, but I think maybe I'm coping and pasting the wrong thing

 

[reefraff]

Just got another that must be posted
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

 

[flower]

I had to tell my mother that one...she roared laughing

 

[rainbow grouper]

get a load of this

 

[rainbow grouper]

 

[rainbow grouper]

 

[travelerjp98]

all these jokes are great, especially reef raffs ones!

 

[rainbow grouper]

i totally agree except with all good things comes a price and that is reefrafs bad jokes

 

[reefraff]

So Barack 0bama, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are taking a helicopter tour of the east coast flooding. When they pass over one of the schools where displaced flood victims are living they see dozens of people mulling around the school grounds. Reid says "you know, we should drop a hundred dollar bill out the door, it will make someone's day". Pelosi thinks for a moment and say "no, we should throw out 2 fifty's and make a couple people's day a little better. 0bama, who's all about spreading the wealth as long as it's someone else's says "we should throw out 5 twenties and make 5 people smile even for a moment".
About that time the pilot turns and says "how about I throw out 3 passengers and make the whole country feel a whole lot better"

 

[reefraff]

For Grouper
Bill Clinton is returning from a business trip a day early and decided to head up to DC to surprise Hillary. He quietly lets himself into her apartment where he finds Hillary in a naked embrace with with Ellen Degenerate. An obviously stunned Bill says "Hey! what's going on here?" Hillary looks at Ellen and says "See, I told you he was an idiot"

 

[rainbow grouper]

nice one what do you think of the cat videos

 

[rainbow grouper]

Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/387480/thought-i-d-share-a-laugh/60#post_3413019
So Barack 0bama, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are taking a helicopter tour of the east coast flooding. When they pass over one of the schools where displaced flood victims are living they see dozens of people mulling around the school grounds. Reid says "you know, we should drop a hundred dollar bill out the door, it will make someone's day". Pelosi thinks for a moment and say "no, we should throw out 2 fifty's and make a couple people's day a little better. 0bama, who's all about spreading the wealth as long as it's someone else's says "we should throw out 5 twenties and make 5 people smile even for a moment".
About that time the pilot turns and says "how about I throw out 3 passengers and make the whole country feel a whole lot better"
awesome one

 

[reefraff]

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark
said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked
out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is
watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

 

[travelerjp98]

hahaha... that one is funny! I like it a lot also cuz I'm an animal lover!

 

[rainbow grouper]

same here

 

[reefraff]

Barrack Obama walks into the Bank of America to cash a check. As he approaches the cashier he says "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?
Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States of America!!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc I must insist on seeing ID"
Obama: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am"
Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Obama: "I am urging you please to cash this check."
Cashier: "Look Mr. President this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States based on your accomplishments to date?"
Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: "Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I don't have a clue. I can't think of a single thing to do"
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"